


Not Afraid

by spoileralert17



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-11-23
Updated: 2010-12-09
Packaged: 2017-10-13 08:22:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 85,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/135172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoileralert17/pseuds/spoileralert17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The schmoopiest high school AU ever. This story chronicles the cheesy, sappy adventures of teenaged-boyfriends!Kradam and their merry group of friends.</p><p>The original master post is <a href="http://spoileralert17.livejournal.com/4944.html">here</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. in the early light

**or: five times kris and adam asked themselves 'what if?' and one time they didn't have to**

 

 **one  
the summer before sophomore year**

 

Kris has spent the last hour trying to pluck the intro to _In My Life_ \- his fingers hurt like crazy, and he's feeling a little bitter that all of his friends are over at the lake, having fun like every teenager is supposed to on the third week of summer vacation, while he's stuck in his room as he tries to lose his fingers one by one. Well. He actually _chose_ to stay because he knew that he won't get anywhere if he doesn't push himself, so he indulges in a moment of frustration, and then keeps going.

He looks up at a sudden knock on his door. His mom is the only other person at home, and she never looks in on him this time of the day - Kris grins when he sees Adam peeking in, wearing a sheepish smile.

Kris scrambles off the bed, carefully sets his guitar down and pulls his bedroom door open. "Hey," he says, a little confused. Despite having lived barely two minutes away from each other for all of their lives, Adam hasn't been to his house since they were, like, eight years old. They're still good friends, but mostly they do group stuff now, usually at Dani or Alisan's house where they have rooms that can fit ten or twelve of them at a time.

Adam walks in, hands in his pockets, more than a little awkward. "Hey. Uh, your mom let me in. Is this okay?"

"Yeah, man," Kris says easily as he walks back to the bed, patting the space next to him.

Adam sits right at the edge and picks at his nails. "I didn't know you played guitar. Did you say something and I missed it?"

Kris thinks that if he pretends it isn't there, his blush will go away. He's pretty sure it doesn't work. It's not that the playing is anything to be ashamed of; he wasn't even actively keeping it a secret, it's just that he hasn't really brought it up to anyone that doesn't live with him and can hear him practicing all day and for most of the night. It's a summer project that he kind of wants to keep _his_ for a while. "No, uh, I kind of just... didn't tell anyone?"

"Why not?"

"I dunno, I guess I wanted to learn stuff first. It sounds really stupid when I say it out loud," Kris says, ducking his head.

"No, I totally get it. It's awesome that you're learning. Is your dad teaching you?" Adam asks.

Kris blushes even harder and mumbles, "Um. I'm kind of teaching myself?"

Adam looks at him then, eyes wide. "What, seriously? Oh my god, Kris, that's amazing."

"Nah, it's - I can't even play much yet --"

"Shut up, it's totally awesome. You should - I mean. Once you're ready, I'd really love to hear you play," Adam says in that sweet, earnest way of his that Kris knows is completely genuine. Adam takes music as seriously as he does, maybe in a slightly different way, but it's something they've always had in common. Something they can talk about for hours. It means a lot that Adam's genuinely interested in the way Kris is expanding on what used to be just a hobby, just like how Kris has always been there for all of Adam's musicals and recitals. It makes Kris feel a little safer, and a little more excited to learn more, now that he knows someone that isn't his mom or dad would maybe want to hear him play. Kris feels kind of giddy that he shared his secret with someone and the world didn't end.

Kris can't think of anything to say to Adam, though, so he just smiles. The silence makes Adam reach for him, hand gripping his arm and shaking it a little. "I mean it, Kris. This is so exciting, I can't wait to hear you." Adam's insistence makes Kris smile, and Kris forgets to be shy.

"I know. Thank you. When I'm ready, you'll be the first to know. You'll be the first to hear."

Adam ducks his head and takes a long moment to just stare at Kris, expression stern. "Good." They kind of look at each other for a little bit, kind of smiling stupidly at each other, feeling a little co-conspiratorial because of this new secret that they share. Kris can feel every one of Adam's fingers on his skin, and he's struck by the urge to slide his hand a little bit upward, maybe hold Adam's hand for a little while.

Before he can even really register the thought, though, Adam jerks his hand away like he's burning, and the moment's over. Kris files all of it away to think about later - the strange ache that settles in his stomach when he realizes that Adam's out of reach, how he feels the imprint of Adam's hand and how he knows it'll be a while before the ghost of it will leave him. Adam's stubbornly looking away now, and Kris can see a blush creeping up his neck. Under the embarrassment, Kris can see a kind of exhaustion in the slump of Adam's shoulders and the stark paleness of his skin. He knows Adam didn't come here to talk about his guitar.

"Adam? You okay?"

Adam shifts on the bed, grabbing one of Kris's pillows as he settles against the headboard, bare feet curled under him. "I don't know," he sighs. "I want to be, but I don't think I am."

Kris crawls up the bed so they're sitting shoulder to shoulder. This is how it's always been between them - they have other people they call their best friends, but in their moments alone, they can be completely honest with one another. Kris knows pretty much the entire year has been difficult for Adam - his parents' separation was made official a month after his fourteenth birthday, and his dad's in the middle of moving out of their house. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Kris doesn't know what else to say, or how to make it better. He wishes so much that he has some secret well of knowledge that he can pull the right words from, that they could be taught _this_ in school instead.

Adam sighs again. "I'm tired of talking. Mom keeps checking up on us, trying to make us talk about our feelings or whatever. I needed to get out of the house but I didn't want to be alone."

"Okay. I'm glad you came here, then."

Adam's sniffling now, and Kris has never been scared of tears, not like most other guys he knows. All he feels is a deep, simmering anger; all he wants is to find someone - anyone - he can yell at, and maybe punch for making his friend cry. "God, I'm such a downer," Adam tries to laugh through the tears, but he just sounds like he's choking, a little bit.

Kris grabs his box of tissues from the bedside table and holds it out. "No, you're not. I'm so sorry, Adam."

"I swear I didn't mean to, like, blubber all over you. It's just. I know it happens all the time, and I know it's better this way, I wouldn't want them to stay together just for me and Neil and spend years and years and years just bitter and unhappy and hating each other," Adam babbles and waves his arms around all crazy, like he does when he's ranting. "And I looked it up on the internet, psychologists say that kids from broken families don't usually go insane and it's good that it happened when we're kind of older and we understand what's going on, so that's good, I don't want to go crazy --"

Kris is almost knocked on the head by a flailing elbow, so he grabs Adam's hand - purely for self-preservation - tucking it around his elbow. Adam sniffles some more as he curls his arm around Kris's and tips his head on Kris's shoulder. Adam's hair smells like apples, and it's kind of nice. "You're not gonna go crazy," Kris says in what he hopes is a soothing voice.

"I'm fine with a little crazy," Adam says quietly. "And I know I'll get, like, _damaged_ only if I let it happen to me. I'll be alright eventually."

"But?"

"But right now it just really, really hurts." Adam's crying harder now, real tears instead of just wet little sniffles, and Kris curls himself a little closer, lets Adam grip his arm in kind of a hug. Adam cries for a long time, sobs starting back up just as Kris thinks he's exhausted himself. He doesn't know how long they sit there, slumped together like that, but Kris just stays quiet, sometimes reaching his free hand out to rub circles on Adam's shoulder.

Adam's sobs die down and he sits up, shifting away from Kris. And again, Kris files some things away - how good it felt to have Adam close, how the hollow of his shoulder feels strangely light and empty without Adam's head there. Adam busies himself with wiping his face, and Kris watches.

"I'm such a mess," Adam croaks out.

Kris squeezes his arm. "You're not."

Adam rolls his eyes and stares out the window. Kris squeezes a little tighter and shakes Adam's arm a little. "You're really not. I promise. I'm gonna go get you some water, okay?"

Kris scrambles off the bed and out the door. He runs down the stairs, gets a glass of water from the kitchen, and stops by the first floor bathroom to grab an unopened box of tissues. Adam smiles at him when he comes back. "Thank you," Adam rasps before gulping down the entire glass.

"You want another?"

Adam shakes his head and opens the new box of tissues, wipes his face some more. "This is the first time I've cried all summer," he says quietly. "I can't cry at home because I don't want my mom to see."

Once again, Kris doesn't know what to say to that, he feels so frustratingly clueless. But maybe he doesn't have to know the right words. Maybe it can be enough that he's here for Adam to talk to. "You shouldn't hold it in like that, Adam. And I'm sure your mom wants to be there for you, too."

"I know. It's just - I don't think I can see her cry, either. Isn't that selfish? I just don't think I can take it."

Kris crawls back up the bed, smiling internally when Adam leans on his shoulder again. "I think you're allowed to be a little selfish."

"If I'm this upset, I can't even imagine how she must feel."

"Well, you know, your mom has been here a couple times to talk to my mom. So she's not alone," Kris says.

"Like mother like son, then," Adam giggles a little.

"Mama just gives her pie. Leila loves her pies."

"Your mama's pies can solve any problem," Adam says solemnly.

"Yeah, they really would."

"Your mama's pies plus ice cream can bring world peace."

Kris smiles at the upward lilt of Adam's voice, at Adam's little laugh, pleased that he'd helped Adam, even a little bit. "I know, right?" he says earnestly. "There's some downstairs, if you want."

Adam shakes his head. "Maybe later? I wanna stay here a little bit longer."

"Okay."

They stay like that for a long time, sometimes talking, sometimes not; they sit together until the sky outside gets dark and Kris's mom comes in to ask if Adam wants to stay for dinner. Adam's all genuine smiles and outrageous chatter at the dinner table, and mostly Kris just watches him, relieved that he's feeling better. Adam hugs him at the door before he leaves.

That night, Kris dreams of roller coasters and shooting stars, holding hands with someone under the rain. He wakes up with a smile on his face.

 

 **Adam:** _I GOTTA FEELING_  
 **Kris:** _???_  
 **Adam:** _stuck in my head HELP_  
 **Kris:** _HOW COME EVERY TIME YOU COME AROUND MY LONDON LONDON BRIDGE LALALA_  
 **Adam:** _...........that's even worse :|_  
 **Kris:** _:D you're welcome!_  
 

 

 **two  
june, sophomore year**

 

It's the end of another successful theater production, and Adam feels like he could fly.

Okay, that might be the three shots of tequila and the cute little sophomore he'd hooked up with half an hour ago, but Adam feels giddy, he really does, feels a kind of adrenaline pumping through his veins underneath a blanket of satisfaction that performing well can bring. The joy is magnified this time around because even though he didn't make lead (he would have if he wasn't a sophomore), he was named dance captain, and it felt good to go through twelve straight shows without fucking up. It felt fucking _amazing_ to have Mr. D. seek him out at the end of the last show to gush all over the "great work" he's done.

The bass is pounding throughout the house, makes his entire body thrum, and all night there's been hugging and kissing among the cast and crew, crazy dancing and drinking and yelling themselves hoarse now that summer vacation's so, so close. Adam loves it, loves _all_ of it, and the only thing better would be to have someone to share it with, someone to pull close and lose himself in, for just a little bit. The pretty sophomore boy was fun but didn't quite do the trick - he'd stammered "oh my god, my boyfriend's gonna be so jealous" and scurried away once they left the pantry - and when he thinks about it too much, Adam feels some of the joy drain out of him.

Danielle's tipsy and dancing like a maniac, but Adam can't quite match her when she tries to engage him. It's a relief when Alisan appears out of nowhere, arms flailing around, hair gone all crazy, and Adam pushes them together, satisfied that they won't even notice that he's gone.

Adam hates himself a little bit for harshing his own celebration time, but he just goes with it, lets himself dwell for a while. He's been thinking about it a lot lately, and no matter how hard he tries, it just doesn't go away; he knows he's down for the count, even in the middle of an insane party. He doesn't know the house well enough to try to find a quiet place inside, so he just grabs a beer from the cooler and makes his way to the back porch, hoping that no one's there hooking up or puking.

Someone's already sitting on the porch steps, and before Adam could decide if he's willing to sit with some stranger, the person turns around. It's Kris, and Adam smiles back automatically, plopping down next to him. "What are you doing here?" Adam asks, bumping his shoulder a little.

"I could ask you the same question," Kris drawls, bumping back.

Adam sighs. "Got a little too loud in there for me."

"Too loud? Who are you and what have you done with Adam Lambert?"

Adam elbows his side, and Kris punches him. " _Ow_. Violence is never the answer, Kristopher."

"You started it."

"Your mom started it."

Kris laughs at that, and it's a sweet sound, filling the night air. Kris's laugh hasn't changed at all since they were little - it's a comforting thought, but Adam can't quite explain why. "You're so lame."

"You're the one sitting here all alone while a kickass party's going on inside," Adam mocks. "That's pretty much the definition of lame, I'll have you know."

To Adam's surprise, Kris blushes at that. "Yeah, well. People in there were getting too... handsy. I needed some air."

Adam giggles. "Poor Kris, boys _and_ girls groping him all night long."

"Shut up," Kris mumbles. "It's just - it's weird."

"What's weird? You're cute, people like you. That's as normal as can be."

Kris takes a pull of his beer and shrugs. "I guess."

"You should get used to it, you know," Adam nudges his shoulder again. "You have a _really_ great ass, and I've noticed you're showing it off a little more, like, those new jeans are great. You're gonna get groped every single night, seriously, we just can't help it."

"Oh my _God_ , Adam," Kris cries, adorably horrified. He covers his face with his hand and it's the cutest thing ever. "Don't say stuff like that, jeez."

Adam ruffles his hair fondly. "It's true. You done good, Kristopher."

"Please stop talking about my ass."

"But it's such a _nice_ ass, very much worth talking about," Adam leers a little, delighted at the blush on Kris's cheeks. Adam lets his eyes travel down Kris's neck, and he wonders idly how far the blush goes.

Kris flails around and covers Adam's mouth with his hand. "Seriously, stop, oh my God."

Adam playfully bites at Kris's fingers and Kris jerks away. "Learn to take a compliment," Adam says, stern.

Kris wrinkles his nose at Adam, and god, seriously, he's like a cartoon sometimes. Adam's suddenly struck by an insanely clear memory of spending a really fun afternoon running around Kris's garden, the two of them using tattered pillowcases as capes, pretending that they're superheroes saving Daniel and Neil from evil monsters that eat little brothers. His mom has some of it on video somewhere, says she's keeping it for blackmail. It's kind of amazing how they've gone from that childish innocence to this, not quite adults yet, drinking beers and talking about Kris's ass.

"It's great that people like my ass so much," Kris says dryly. "I think I'm a little warped, though. That's just... not my thing."

"What, getting groped?"

Kris leans his head on the railing and peers at him. "Man, getting groped would be awesome," he says with a little sigh. Adam doesn't know what to make of it. "It's just so awkward. I mean, so you get your hand down someone's pants, and then see them in school then next day and act like nothing happened?"

Adam grins at him thoughtfully. "That's usually how it goes, yeah."

"Yeah, I couldn't look him in the eye for a whole month," Kris rolls his eyes at himself. "I kept wondering if I should text him, or whatever, try to get to know him? Be friends? But I guess it's just not done."

"You're not supposed to make it more complicated than it has to be," Adam says gently. They've all been getting to know each other in this context for about a year now; they've gone beyond watching each other giggle and blush at the mere mention of _kissing_ , and are now catching each other in broom closets and school parking lots and hidden corners at parties - Adam will never forget finding Andrew of all people inside the empty orchestra room with a girl on his lap - and it's just another part of growing up that they're doing together. It's different from any other conversation he's had with Kris before, but it's not awkward at all.

"I know that. I really think that's just not my deal. One and done," Kris says, serious now, not blushing anymore. "I think my parents have ruined me for life, man," Kris continues, shaking his head. "I grew up watching them and wanting what they have, I can't make my brain want anything else. Even just for now."

Adam understands that perfectly, maybe more than anyone. "I get it," he answers. "Not the parent thing, obviously, but the wanting thing."

"I know."

"Yeah?"

Kris smiles. "I know you, Adam. You get that look on your face. I mean, I know you're having fun, but you're looking for more than you're getting," he says quietly.

"I'm definitely having fun," Adam says with a raised eyebrow, pleasure bursting in his chest when Kris blushes again. "And you know it took me a while to even get here."

"You've always wanted more."

"Yeah, I always have."

Kris's answering smile is kind and understanding. "I know. It's totally --"

Danielle and Tommy stumble onto the patio right at that moment, yelling incoherently about dancing and manhandling Adam back into the house. Kris never gets to finish his thought, but their conversation is all Adam can think about for a long time after that.

 **Kris:** _Hi_  
 **Adam:** _..........Kris. We're standing in the same room_  
 **Kris:** _So?_  
 **Adam:** _You weirdo_  
 **Kris:** _You're too far away_  
 **Adam:** _Better?_  
 **Kris:** _Who's the weirdo now?_  
 **Adam:** _But i switched seats for you! :(_  
 **Kris:** _I know :) stop texting and tell me if i'm singing this song right_  
 **Adam:** _k <3_

 

 **three  
january, junior year**

 

Kris is just about to get up for a snack when suddenly his phone rings.

 _Adam_

He's seriously in trouble if just seeing Adam's name on the call display brings butterflies to his stomach. Serious, serious trouble.

"I need your help" is the first thing Kris hears when he answers his phone.

"Adam? What's up?"

"It's an emergency. Can you come over?" Adam asks, voice high and kind of panicky. "It's Allison."

Kris jolts upright. "What happened? Is she alright?"

"No, Kris - God, I'm sorry - no, she's not, like, injured or anything. Sorry, sorry," Adam says quickly. "It's just - ugh. Nick dumped her this afternoon and she's kind of freaking."

Kris sighs in relief. "Jeez, Adam. Try not to make it sound like it's life or death next time."

"Sorry!" Adam cries, and it seriously sounds like he's coming unhinged. "I just - I'm seriously freaking. Megan's on her way over, but no one else can get here right now, and I don't know how to deal with Alli when she's _crying_ , oh my God. Alli never cries!"

"Okay, okay," Kris says, walking to his closet and getting dressed. "Your house?"

"Yeah. She's in my room. Bring pie." Then he hangs up.

Kris just stares at his phone for a long moment, alarmed. Allison has had a crush on Nick - her neighbor, childhood friend, classmate, etc etc - since she was in the sixth grade, and she freaked like nothing else when he finally asked her to the winter formal two months ago. She was on cloud nine for weeks, all giddy and starry-eyed, and Kris found it incredibly sweet. He was happy that she was happy, and he kept his wariness to himself - she's not a kid anymore ("I'm a _sophomore_ , you dork," he can so clearly hear her say), she can take care of herself, and she needs to make her own mistakes. Besides, he's always been a sucker for her smile.

Now that it's all gone to hell, though, all he wants to do is march to that sucker's house and punch him in the face.

Instead, Kris pulls on a heavy wool sweater and his warmest, heaviest jacket, hoping it'll be enough to ward the bitter January chill outside. He goes to the kitchen to put two slices of leftover pie in a Tupperware container, kisses his mom on the cheek, and pulls on his boots by the door. He walks briskly down the street and jogs from the street corner all the way to Adam's doorstep. He lets himself in and waves hello to Leila in the living room, then runs into Megan in the kitchen. Megan's standing over a bowl of what looks like a mixture of three different flavors of ice cream, chocolate and strawberry syrup, M&Ms, Oreos, and chocolate chip cookies.

"Wow," Kris says. "That's the most disgusting thing I have ever seen."

Megan huffs as she continues mixing. "Excuse you, this is a foolproof cheerer-upper. It's a family recipe passed down from generation to generation. Mind your own beeswax."

Kris pulls out a plate and two forks from a drawer, then fills a tall glass with water. "Okay, okay. Meg, is it really bad?"

Megan sighs. "She's really upset. Nick dropped her here, like, fifteen minutes ago, and I don't think she's stopped crying yet. Poor kid."

The last time Allison cried was when she fell of the jungle gym and broke her arm in two places. She was nine. "I have no idea what I'm doing, but. Okay. Here goes," Kris says, mostly to himself as he piles all his stuff on a tray. "You done?"

"Go ahead, I'll be up in a few."

Kris makes his way up the stairs, knocking softly on Adam's door before letting himself in. Adam and Allison are curled together on the bed, Allison's face hidden in Adam's shoulder. Adam smiles at him in greeting and tilts his head, beckoning him to come closer. Kris freezes in place for a moment, his stomach swooping. Because of Adam's grin? The head-tilt? The bed? Probably all three. Kris is definitely in trouble.

"Hey, Alli," Kris murmurs as he puts the tray on Adam's dresser and sits on Allison's other side.

"Kris?" Allison half-says, half-sobs before throwing her arm around his waist and sobbing into his shirt.

Kris gapes at her in shock, and it's a few seconds before he can get his bearings and pull his feet off the floor and on the bed, shifting a little to make Allison more comfortable. It's extremely disconcerting to see and hear her like this, so he glances above her head to catch Adam's eye.

Adam's staring down at her too, rubbing circles on her back. Kris reaches over and catches Adam's elbow with his free hand, raising both eyebrows when Adam looks at him. Adam just shrugs and frowns.

"Kris?" Allison asks again.

Kris wraps his arm more tightly around Allison and uses his other hand to rub her back too, occasionally catching Adam's fingers with his. "I'm here, Alli. Do you want some water?"

Allison lifts her head and says "yes please" in the softest, saddest voice he's ever heard.

Kris reaches for the glass of water, watches Allison gulp it all down in one go. Her face is all wet and splotchy and red, her breaths hitching. Adam scoots closer and pushes a box of tissues on her lap.

Allison's blowing her nose for the third time when Megan bursts in like some magical gypsy, all long, blonde hair and long skirt and bracelets, carrying a huge bowl and carefully walking to the bed. "Scoot," she says, slapping Adam's leg.

Adam huffs, but he rolls away and stands. Megan settles in Adam's vacated spot and puts the bowl of ice cream on Allison's lap. She wraps an arm around Allison's shoulder and says, "This is the best heartache healer around, honey. Eat."

Allison takes a few seconds to just look at the bowl speculatively, swirling the spoon, investigating the ingredients. Then she starts to dig in, sighing in happiness after the first few bites.

After some time, Adam comes over to Kris's side of the bed and they both sit cross-legged, just watching Allison eat, occasionally taking bites when Allison insists on feeding them. Adam's bed wasn't exactly built for four people, and Kris almost overbalances backward a couple times, with only Adam's arm half-curled around him saving him from a probable concussion. Adam's leaning closely, and Kris catches a whiff of Adam's perfume, and the smell makes his mouth dry up. He's never noticed Adam wearing it before - maybe it's new? - but once he smells it, it's all he can pay attention to.

And suddenly, like some super-sense in him is switched on, he's hyper-aware of Adam's arm, strong and steady against his back. Kris only has to turn his head a couple inches to look at Adam's face in profile - his gorgeous nose is seriously one of his best features. If Kris sits still long enough, he can almost feel Adam's breaths puffing on his cheek. It's sensory overload, almost, being surrounded by Adam like this, and he's suddenly aching to know what it could be like to be surrounded by Adam for real --

His dangerous train of thought (Crap, crap, _crap_. So much trouble.) is interrupted by Allison pushing the bowl away and her starting to sniffle again. She blindly reaches for Kris's hand and pulls him toward her until they're both lying on the bed.

Kris just follows, shifting on his side to pull her closer and stroke her hair. "You're going to be okay, baby girl. You'll see," he whispers into the top of her head.

"It hurts so bad, Kris," she whimpers, hand fisting his shirt. "I really thought he liked me."

"You'll find someone better," Adam chimes from somewhere behind Kris. When Allison whimpers some more, Kris feels the bed shift, feels the length of Adam's thigh pressed all along his back, Adam's left arm thrown across his waist so Adam can rub Allison's back, too.

It's like Kris is trapped in the best way possible, and it goes on for a while, until Allison eventually falls asleep. It aches, a little bit, when Adam steps away from the bed.

Adam goes downstairs to put away the pie and the dirty bowl, and presumably to refill the glass of water, and even when he's gone, Kris feels the heat of him still, lingering on Kris's skin. It's half proximity-high, and half something more than that; something Kris can't name; something that Kris thinks started that night they talked about wanting something more than hooking up; something that's slowly been growing and growing with every private moment they share. Something maybe a little terrifying. This is _Adam_. Kris knows he has to be sure before... before anything.

When Adam comes back, Kris's entire right arm has cramped up and his hip is aching. Allison's breathing heavily into his neck, more peaceful now, and Kris doesn't want to disturb her.

All of Kris's discomfort disappears when Adam sits behind him again, his hip digging into Kris's lower back. A crazy, dizzying kind of warmth radiates from that spot and makes Kris warm all over, breathless from it. He can't help but slump into it a little, rest his weight all along Adam's thigh, push himself into the heat until it sears his skin.

Adam doesn't say anything, just continues to rub Allison's back and make soothing noises. Kris can see hints of a blush running down his neck, though, and it makes Kris smile. Makes him really excited for the days to come, and all the possibilities they bring.

 **Kris:** _Orchestra's weird without you guys_  
 **Adam:** _Awww you miss us!_  
 **Kris:** _Mostly you_  

\---

 **Adam:** _Look!<http://yfrog.com/5nplaidhj>_  
 **Kris:** _!!!_  
 **Adam:** _Thought so_  
 **Kris:** _You getting one?_  
 **Adam:** _Idk might not look good on me_  
 **Kris:** _Impossible_  
 **Adam:** _:) :) :)_

 

 **four  
march, junior year**

 

It's 3am and this party is showing no signs of slowing down. Will Braden definitely knows how to throw one - this one is probably up there with Alisan's masquerade and Brad's 16th in Adam's maybe-top-five or so - but he was in rehearsal all afternoon and not even flirting with the cutest freshman in the room can get him in any kind of partying mood this late in the night. Morning. Whatever.

Adam finds himself nursing a glass of water in the huge, messy kitchen, and he just has this weird, itchy feeling that he's missing something. _Or someone_ , his internal monologue not-so-helpfully supplies, and _shit_. Adam tries to push the thought away and scrolls through his phone to distract himself, but that turns out to be the worst idea ever because half of the saved messages in his inbox are from Kris.

 

  
_My baby cousin's watching Hercules and the unicorn reminds me of you :)_   


  
_I tried pistachio ice cream TY FOR CHANGING MY LIFE_   


  
_Donatello is the best ninja turtle. Period. No contest_   


  
_You looked sad at lunch. You doing ok?_   


  
_send me spinning closer_   


 

Shit, shit, shit.

It's just - it's kind of been happening for a couple months now, sitting with Kris at lunch and whenever the group goes out to dinner, chatting on AIM while doing homework, texting for hours at night. Adam's stomach flutters just thinking about it, and dammit, he didn't know his stomach could even do that.

Adam isn't even doing anything he hasn't done with Kris before - they've always texted and sat together during movies and even walked each other home occasionally over the years, and he can't count the sheer number of meals they've shared. But suddenly it's all new, tinged with something different and exhilarating and fucking terrifying.

So... yeah. It's three in the morning and Adam is all jittery and weird because he hasn't seen Kris in a few hours. It feels strange to be the person who looks for one particular boy at night - in the middle of a badass party, no less - but there it is. _He's in a party and he feels weird because Kris isn't there._ Adam can't tell if admitting that to himself is a sign of defeat or relief.

The huge house feels stifling, all of a sudden, so he weaves past drunk acquaintances and makes a wrong turn twice before finding himself standing at the porch.

And just like that night almost a year ago now, it's a delightful surprise to find Kris Allen sitting on the steps, nursing a beer, and wearing a hoodie just this side of too tight. Adam watches Kris's shoulder blades ripple under the fabric, and he remembers the afternoon _he practically spooned with Kris on his bed, Jesus_ , and his mouth dries up.

"Nice outfit, Kristopher," Adam says as lightly as he can, hoping that the sudden buzz of nerves under his skin doesn't show in his voice.

Kris turns around, and his face blooms into a huge, unguarded grin that almost brings Adam to his knees. "Allison gave it to me. She said it'll help my wimpy body keep warm," Kris says wryly, glancing down at the pink and purple stripes. "Not my style?"

Adam sinks down and stretches his legs on the steps. He doesn't miss the few seconds Kris takes to stare - these jeans were a damn good investment, and Adam pats himself on the back. "You look cute in almost anything, but not so much the purple." And that's new, too - not the flirting, but how it makes Kris blush so nicely and how the lines catch at Adam's throat right before he says them. He means it, he's always meant it, but this is _more_ , now.

"Well, it does the job. And it's not like anyone in there will even remember seeing me wear it," Kris snorts.

"Yeah, it's kind of unbelievable how they can keep going," Adam sighs as he leans on the railing.

"I very clearly remember a few nights where you're in the middle of all of it," Kris says, teasing, reaching out to nudge Adam's foot with a sneaker-clad toe. "Thought you'd be in there with them, too."

 _Yeah, but you weren't in there, and I needed to see you_ , Adam thinks but doesn't dare say. "It's fun, yeah. But I wanted a little bit of air."

Kris just smiles as Adam yawns.

"And I was wondering where you'd gone," Adam blurts out. He blames that on the two huge bowls of margaritas that Danielle poured down his throat earlier.

"Oh." Kris is blushing again, but he keeps his gaze on Adam, smile bright and beautiful. "Yeah, I dunno, I ate? Hung around with Andrew - there are video games in the basement. I didn't think I'd get to talk to you tonight, so."

Adam knows he's blushing now, too, and this is probably the most ridiculous Movie Moment he's ever had in his life. He kind of loves it. "Well, here we are."

"Here is good."

They keep talking, about Kris's horrific orchestra rehearsal earlier that day ("Bridget left the room _crying_ , it was the worst"), the new froyo place that opened ("They have cheesecake toppings, Kris, oh my God. It's heaven. I'll take you there on Wednesday" - neither of them mention the fact that Adam knows Kris's schedule, not to mention how they kind of fell into a date just then), Allison's new guy ("He's cute!" "I'll punch him in the face if he breaks her heart"), and the next thing Adam knows, Kris is tipping over sideways with laughter, and the entire length of their sides are touching.

Adam didn't know it could be like this with anyone - comfortable and silly, unselfconsciousness alongside the headiness and the kind of giddy that comes with hanging out with someone he likes. It's only ever been one or the other with all other guys he knows, and God, of _course_ it's Kris, sneaking up on him, this thing between them years in the making. He wonders if Kris is cold, imagines wrapping his arms around his little body, tucking him into his side, warming him up. Adam has been imagining lots of things lately, many of them not quite as innocent as cuddling in the cold spring night.

Before Adam's thoughts can wander past PG-13 territory, though, Kris clears his throat and says "So Dani told me that - um. That there was a guy?"

"What guy?"

Kris's eyes fly down to his lap, where his fingers are fidgeting. Adam thinks sonnets should be written about the fan of Kris's eyelashes on his cheek. (Adam seriously didn't know his internal monologue could be this lame.)

"Some freshman?" Kris says quietly, still fidgeting. "She said a lot of stuff really fast, something about Alli's new guy and Brad's camera, and you... I think she said you were... that you were putting on some moves or whatever."

Kris says all of it really quickly, not even looking at Adam, the most adorable flush staining his cheeks.

"Oh --"

"Not like - I'm sorry, it's none of my business, forget I even said anything," Kris blurts out, and even his feet are fidgeting now.

It looks very much like Kris is about to bolt, so Adam lays his hand on Kris's knee. "Hey. It's fine. And that was - God, that was barely anything. We were just talking."

Kris's shoulders loosen at that, and Adam doesn't miss his little sigh of relief. "That was out of line. I had no right to ask. But okay."

Adam smiles, and he can't help but rub his thumb on Kris's knee, make him relax a little bit more. "You kind of - um. It was nothing, seriously."

"Okay," Kris says again with a little grin.

"You know me," Adam says.

Kris narrows his eyes at him, like he's searching his face for something. Adam hopes he can find it. "Yeah, I do," Kris answers solemnly.

The air is heavy, charged, and Adam acutely feels the weight of Kris's knee against his, feels pinpricks of heat where Kris's elbow is grazing his arm. It's strange and new and yet neither of those things, and it makes him feel a little lightheaded. Adam has to clear his throat twice before he can get the words out. "And besides, I'm... waiting."

Kris's leg inches a little closer until their thighs and ankles are touching too. "I've been waiting too," Kris says quietly.

Kris's eyes are dark underneath the dim light from the lamp just down the street, and Adam's head dips lower, searching, an exhilarating buzz starting under his skin. When Adam opens his mouth to speak, Kris's eyes dart down to it and he licks his lips, and _fuck_. All of a sudden it's like they're walking toward the edge of a cliff, getting ready to jump.

Their heads slowly move closer together, and Adam playfully rubs his nose with Kris's when they're close enough to touch. They both laugh a little, and Kris's hand comes up to grip Adam's jacket. Adam tilts his head a little to drop a soft kiss on Kris's cheek, his stomach bottoming out when Kris screws his eyes shut; a thrill shooting through him when Kris's tongue darts out to wet his lips.

A couple of drag racers zoom down the street in a streak of loud noise and laughter and Adam and Kris both start in surprise, jerking apart with matching gasps. All at once, Adam's disappointed and mortified and pissed and nervous as all hell, but above all of that, he _wants_ , with a ferocity that surprises him. He wants this, wants _Kris_ , wants to know what Kris tastes like, wants to find out what Kris's lips will feel like against his, wants to bite on that insane bottom lip, wishes more than anything that they could erase the last minute and go back to when Kris grabbed Adam's jacket like he needed something to hold on to or else he'll float away.

They're not touching anymore, and Adam feels a yawning gap in the inch of space between them. Kris is blushing hard, and he knows he is too, and Adam wishes he knew what to say. Adam doesn't know what to do with his hands - and, what, when did he put his beer down? Where did it go?

"Um," Kris says, and it interrupts Adam's frantic thoughts.

Seriously, Adam's skin is _buzzing_ , what the fuck, so he does the absolute last thing he wants to do - he laughs and laughs and laughs. Kris's eyes widen in horror and somehow that's the most hilarious thing Adam has ever seen so he laughs instead of saying anything; Kris starts looking at him like he's crazy, and that's even _funnier_. He's totally gone off the deep end, and god, Kris won't want to kiss him after this. "Kris - don't - I --" Adam gasps out as his arm flails around as if independent from his body. "I can't --"

Kris just shakes his head and bites down a smile, hand coming up to grab his. "I'm glad you think this is so funny," he says with a catch in his voice.

Adam immediately sobers at that, hand squeezing Kris's, hard. "No, I don't - _God_ , no. I'm just." He takes a deep breath. "Kristopher, I think you broke my brain."

"Well good," Kris says, eyes darting down to the ground. "I think my brain's broken too."

Adam's heart skitters in his chest when Kris tangles their fingers together. It should probably feel strange, but it doesn't. It feels like something... more. Something _big_. "So... this is new."

Kris laughs a little, tilting closer to Adam's side. "That's one word for it."

"Tell me another one," Adam says.

"Scary?" Kris asks, nose crinkling.

Adam nods thoughtfully. "Yeah. Good scary, though... right?"

Kris grins. "Definitely."

Adam wants so, so badly to pull Kris's mouth to his, to kiss him breathless, pull Kris onto his lap and _drown_ in him; find out tonight, find out _right now_ everything they can be together, what it would be like to cross that line. But then Kris's fingers tighten in his, and Kris curls into his side, forehead pressing against his neck. This thing between them feels tenuous and fragile, like any sudden movement will break it, and Adam wants to tuck it into his chest where no one but them can touch it.

They stay quiet for a few moments, all wrapped up in each other, just holding hands. Kris shivers violently when a quick breeze rolls by, and Adam lets go of Kris's hand to wrap his arms around him, hands rubbing Kris's back, pulling Kris even closer. When that doesn't quite work, Adam pulls them both up to the top step, arranging them so Kris's back is flush against his front, arms and legs shielding Kris from the wind.

Kris sighs and tangles their hands together. "This is nice."

Adam muffles a semi-hysterical laugh into Kris's shoulder. "I think this is really fucking fantastic." It's a heady feeling, being wrapped around Kris, protecting him, sitting as close as humanly possible. And when Kris's laugh rumbles against his chest, Adam feels like he can take on the world and _win_.

Kris tilts his head back until his nose is grazing Adam's neck. Kris's warm breaths against his cheek make Adam's heart stutter. When Kris's lips close on his jaw, Adam shuts his eyes, every thought flying from his brain.

"Adam," Kris whispers achingly, lips hot and wet and perfect against Adam's skin.

Adam can barely think of any words, let alone make himself remember how to say any of them. "Mmm?"

Kris somehow presses himself closer to Adam, the heat between their bodies driving Adam crazy, and Kris's fingers clench against his. "I really want to kiss you," Kris half-groans, and it's perfect, God, this is the most beautiful, most perfect moment of Adam's life, and of fucking course it's the same moment his phone decides to ring, Gaga's tinny voice echoing loudly in the night air.

Adam curses into Kris's shoulder - fuck his life, fucking seriously, _Jesus fuck_ \- and Kris lets out a strangled laugh, pulling Adam's left hand up for a kiss.

Adam angrily pulls out his phone and grates out a sharp "What?!" into the receiver.

"Dude, chill. Just the messenger. Dani's looking for you, it's time to go," Neil says, chipper as ever. Adam cannot be trusted not to commit homicide in his mother's house tonight.

"Meet you out front in five," Adam growls and hangs up.

Adam's overwhelmed, shaking, with anger and breathless joy and nerves and that unique sensation of being cockblocked by his own fucking brother, God, what shitty luck. He just wraps his arms around Kris's waist and holds on tight, breathing into Kris's neck, listening to Kris breathe, trying to burn every moment of this night into his brain so he won't ever forget.

Kris just let him do all these things, just sits and rubs Adam's arms until Adam calms down.

"You have to go," Kris whispers into his hair.

"I don't want to," Adam answers, stubbornly locking his arms and legs to keep Kris in place.

Kris's hand comes up to cup his cheek. "I don't want you to go either. But you have to. Up."

Adam keeps grumbling as he reluctantly stands up, pouts the whole time as Kris fusses over him, straightening his shirt and messing with his hair. He can't help but pull Kris into a hug, hold him close and feel Kris's body against his, every moment of contact making this impossible night feel all the more real. Kris's hands are sure and strong against his back, his voice insistent. "This won't go away. I promise."

Adam just nods wordlessly when he pulls away, momentarily forgetting his frustration when he looks at Kris under the moonlight, wrapped in a ridiculous hoodie, his hair a mess, eyes shining. _I get to have this_ , Adam thinks, and the moment is heavy, makes his chest constrict. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think to want this before. Never, ever thought for one moment that he'll get to have this.

Kris tips up on his toes and presses a sweet kiss on Adam's cheek, whispers a soft "next time" into Adam's ear before grabbing his hand and pulling him back into the house, pushing his fingers in between Adam's as they make their way through the party and to the front door.

Danielle, Neil, Ryland and Andrew are leaning against Danielle's brother's car, eyes flying to the two of them as they walk down the driveway. None of them say anything as they pile into the car one by one.

Kris gives Adam another long, tight hug, pressing a quick, hidden kiss on Adam's neck and basically making Adam lose his fucking mind right there in front of their friends. Adam gingerly squeezes into the backseat and looks out the window, mouthing a sad "bye" as they drive away.

The car is barely twenty feet from Will's house when Adam's phone buzzes.

 _You owe me a kiss. I'm taking you up on that asap, just so you know_

When he gets home, Adam distractedly pulls on his pajamas and crawls on his bed, clutches his pillow to his chest and relives every fantastic Kris-moment in his head over and over and over.

Adam wakes up with a smile on his face and an unread message on his phone.

 _The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you_

  


 

 **Adam:** _jgmpjadwpmagtwpjmtwpagj_  
 **Kris:** _Wat_  
 **Adam:** _GAGA NEW ALBmgptwmjadjtpmwpt_  
 **Kris:** _Gaga is fierce_  
 **Adam:** _I wanna be her when i grow up_  
 **Kris:** _You'll be more fabulous_  
 **Adam:** _< 333 you're sweet_  
 **Kris:** _It's true_  
 **Adam:** _< 3333333333_

\---

 **Kris:** _SAVE ME_  
 **Adam:** _???_  
 **Kris:** _Dying. 10 laps around field. Send help_  
 **Adam:** _D: D: D: breathe_  
 **Kris:** _Never leaving my bed_  
 **Adam:** _I'll miss you though :(_  
 **Kris:** _Hurts :(_  
 **Adam:** _:* :* :* kissing it better_

\---

 **Adam:** _Boys boys boys buy us drinks in bars_  
 **Kris:** _Oh....._  
 **Adam:** _?_  
 **Kris:** _Nothing_  
 **Adam:** _Just lyrics babe_  
 **Kris:** _Ohhh_  
 **Adam:** _< 3 you're cute_  
 **Kris:** _I'm a jerk. Sorry <3_  
 **Adam:** _Cute :D you're my only boy_

 

 **five  
five days later**

 

It's been the most exhilarating weekend of Kris's life, and he didn't even have to leave his house.

He spent six hours babysitting a three year old, and the whole time, it took all of his control to wipe the crazy grin threatening to split his face. Little Kaya kept swatting at his phone whenever he took too long to type something, which happened a _lot_ because he always wasted a few seconds stupidly grinning at his phone before thinking of an answer. He feels seriously, fantastically giddy with every text message, and on the verge of bursting into song with every minute they spend on the phone together.

("I've decided that pink and purple are your best colors."

"Oh, and you're not biased at all."

"Alli should put that hoodie in a museum."

"I still have it, actually."

"Well then you need to never give it back. Keep that shit as a remembrance of --"

"Of your little brother cockblocking us?"

Adam laughed at that for a long time, and Kris wanted to burn every single second of it into his brain.)

Kris feels seriously confident and daring, more than capable of keeping up with Adam's blatant flirting, giving just as good as he gets, many years of friendship making him unselfconscious about the ridiculous things he says.

It's a pleasant shock to his system when he sees Adam again on Monday, and Kris reckons the ridiculous grins on their faces are identical. Kris's daily routine is the same as ever, but the liberal sprinkling of Adam-moments all throughout make everything so much more memorable.

On Wednesday afternoon, Kris finds himself at a mostly-empty school parking lot, leaning on the trunk of Adam's car. Adam is twenty minutes late, but Kris isn't worried at all - a person who texts _Yay froyo later!!!!!_ and _Dont forget k?_ at the top of every hour the entire school day won't ditch him. And besides, Adam never pulls this stuff; if he didn't want to go, he'd say so.

They were going on a _date_. That's... it's a little bit surreal, is what it is.

A couple minutes later, Kris looks up to find Adam looking harried, a huge bag slung on each shoulder, carrying an armful of haphazardly stacked papers and wearing a panicked expression. Kris jolts upright, fighting the urge to straighten his clothes and instead reaching out to relieve Adam of his burden.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry, Amy found me at my locker and she wouldn't leave until I let her dump all of this on me," Adam rambles, a little breathless, cheeks red. "Apparently I was the first sucker she ran into and just --"

Kris grabs all of the papers with minimal wrinkling, and smiles reassuringly. "It's fine. You okay? Take a second to catch your breath or something."

Adam drops his bags and leans on the car, shoulders slumping against Kris's. "I'm okay. Just - I kind of ran pretty far? I didn't want you to think I was ditching you or whatever."

"You ran? I'm sorry I missed that," Kris says.

"Don't make fun. I think my spleen's gonna burst," Adam says between deep breaths.

Kris laughs. "Did you mean appendix? Unlock your door so you can sit, c'mon."

Adam grumbles as he reaches for his keys and opens the door, letting out a full body sigh when he slumps against the steering wheel. Kris slides carefully onto the passenger seat and leafs through the papers that he's holding. It looks like Adam has been saddled with organizing the sheet music that they'll be using for the spring musical. Kris starts sorting them by song, humming the first few bars of the opening theme under his breath.

"You don't have to do that," Adam says.

"It's okay, I'm almost done," Kris answers, and when he looks up, he sees that Adam's aiming a crazy smile at him. "What?"

"Nothing. You're being so nice to me. Thank you."

Kris smiles back. "It's just papers. But you're welcome."

Adam downs half a bottle of water as Kris finishes piling up the papers, and he carefully puts them in the three envelopes that Adam gives him. Once everything's squared away on Adam's backseat, Kris wipes his hands on his lap and turns to Adam.

"Hi," Kris says.

Adam wrinkles his nose at him. "Hi there. I have to say, this afternoon is not at all going the way it was supposed to."

"Why? What's wrong?"

Adam blushes a little at that, but keeps his gaze. "I was supposed to sweep you off your _feet_ , okay. Woo you with dessert and my charm and witty repartee. Instead it's... _this._ "

Kris looks around the car and back at Adam. "This isn't so bad."

"Well, thanks," Adam pouts.

Kris laughs and does what he's been wanting to do all day. All week. All his life, it feels like. He reaches out and laces their hands together, slowly insinuating every finger in between Adam's. Kris's heart starts pounding in his chest, and it feels like a momentous moment, which is kind of silly, but there it is.

"Better?" Kris asks, mildly teasing, but kind of adoring the pleasantly shocked look on Adam's face.

"Much," Adam says as he squeezes Kris's hand. Kris thinks it should be ridiculous, how good it feels to just hold Adam's hand, how it makes his blood sing in his veins, how the simple contact makes him want to jump around in joy. But maybe this is what it's like, to have something _real_ , to cup something incredibly special close to your heart and wish so hard it'll grow and grow and grow.

Kris laughs when Adam awkwardly twists around so he can use his left hand to start the car. Kris tries to pull away just for a few moments, but Adam's grip is strong and unyielding, which is just so unfairly hot, and well. Kris wasn't going to let go after that. Kris crosses his left knee over his right so they can comfortably rest their hands on it during the quick drive to the new froyo place that Adam has been raving about.

"You're going to love it. I've tried lots of froyo places, but this is the one I like best. And come on. _Cheesecake_. Whoever thought of that is a freaking genius," Adam says enthusiastically.

Kris just smiles and nods along, not really caring where they're going or what they're about to eat, just that he's doing it with Adam. They'll be _alone_ , finally, and anything can happen. "Cheesecake is awesome," Kris says, and he wants to smack himself in the head, he's so freakin' lame.

"Indeed," Adam agrees, turning his head to smile at Kris. There's a pause, and then "This is okay, right? We can go somewhere else if you want, it's totally okay --"

Kris squeezes Adam's hand. "This is good. This is _great_. I'm going to sound totally lame, but I seriously cannot care less where we go. Just. S'long as you're here," Kris tapers off at the end there, kind of mumbling the last part, but Adam's huge answering grin erases every bit of embarrassment Kris would have felt at saying that out loud.

"When you say things like that, you make me want to stop this car right here and kiss you," Adam says wistfully, and that's when Kris full-on blushes; he feels giddy and warm all over, brimming with energy.

"I would not object to that at all," Kris says, hopeful, raising his eyebrows meaningfully at Adam.

Adam stubbornly keeps his eyes on the road, slowing down and pulling into the lot in front of the shiny new froyo place. "No. There's a plan, dammit. Food. And wooing! Food and wooing before... anything else."

Adam's so adorably adamant about it that Kris just bites back a laugh. "Okay, okay. On with the wooing, then." Kris already has one foot out of the car, but Adam won't let go of his hand. "I kind of need my hand back, Adam."

When Kris turns his head to look, he catches Adam's heavy lidded gaze aimed straight at his mouth. "Adam?" he says again, and he can see Adam's eyes widen, flying to his, caught. Kris can't help but grin, more than a little smug. "You sure you don't want to change your mind? We can take this somewhere a little more private, if you --"

Adam narrows his eyes at Kris playfully. "Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face, Kristopher. Just - humor me, please? I really, really want to get this right."

Kris's smile softens, and he impulsively pulls Adam's hand up to kiss the joint at the base of Adam's thumb. "You're perfect. Now, take me to the cheesecake."

Adam lets go of Kris's hand so they can get out of the car, but grabs it again right before they enter the store, pulling Kris close to his side. Kris has always been wary of those couples that spend all of their time cooing and pawing all over each other even in public, but standing here, holding Adam's hand in the middle of the yogurt store, Kris thinks he wants to be one of _those_. Kris didn't think he was that kind of boy, all grabby and possessive, but he wants to stake his claim, wants the world to know what he and Adam are to each other now. Or, what they're trying to be, at least.

They stand at the counter and Kris not-so-innocently sidles himself closer to Adam, props his chin on Adam's shoulder as he peers up at the menu. "That's a lot of choices, wow."

Adam laughs a little breathlessly, and Kris loves the sound of it, makes it a personal mission to hear it more often. "I know, right? The strategy is to keep trying new things until you find the perfect combination. And it's always best to do this with a lot of other people, you know, for more variety."

Kris ends up with chocolate chips, blueberries and cheesecake while Adam goes for strawberries, peaches and chocolate syrup. The place is mostly full, but they manage to snag one of the little round tables near the back corner. Kris's stomach flutters when Adam pulls the two chairs right up against each other before they sit, and he kind of wants to melt into the floor when Adam easily slides their fingers back together once they settle down. For a couple minutes, Adam has to use his elbow to awkwardly maneuver his spoon and his cup, but he works it out quickly enough, and their conversation flows as smoothly as always.

Their topics range from music to varsity baseball to Neil's piano lessons to that one time Adam dreamt that he was a unicorn. Kris almost chokes on a bite when Adam makes a sly blowjob joke, and when Kris retaliates with one of his own, Adam laughs so loudly that everyone in the place stares at them for a few seconds. It's by far the best date Kris has ever been on, and he wants to remember every single detail - the warm weight of Adam's hand in his, how easy it is to twist a little in his seat and tuck his knee under Adam's, how his stomach drops every time Adam's tongue darts out to lick syrup off the spoon, how this will all he'll be able to think of every time he tastes the tangy sweetness of yogurt and cheesecake.

They linger on their empty cups for a long time, and it's only when a couple waiting for a seat start to pointedly clear their throats that they reluctantly stand and walk back outside. Kris is surprised to find that the sun has completely set, that what felt like five minutes with Adam was actually over two hours.

Adam raises an eyebrow at him. "You mentioned finding somewhere a little more private, earlier?"

Kris's heart stutters in his chest, and he's so very, very tempted to tug Adam's lips down to his, to finally take that leap right here and right now, but he's not sure he wants their first kiss to happen right where a full yogurt shop can see. He may want to stake his claim, but he wants the first one to be just theirs, sappy as that may sound. "I have been properly fed and wooed, I believe it's time for... other things now," he smiles as he makes his way to the passenger side of the car.

"Other things, huh?" Adam says as he starts the car. "Do elaborate."

Before Kris can answer, the sound of a ringing phone echoes in the small space. Adam groans and thunks his head on the window. "You cannot be serious right now."

Kris's eyebrow furrows as he sees _Daniel_ flashing on his phone screen. "I'm normally not a violent person, but I really want to punch you in the face right now," he grits out.

"Dude, I had to chase Elvis down the street and I locked myself out of the house. I need you to come here right now," Daniel says, and seriously, Kris's _life_. Kris thinks his good karma is going through the roof right now, and it's so freaking unfair.

"Mama isn't home yet?" Kris asks, annoyed beyond belief.

"They're having dinner with some people from dad's office, they left money for takeout. Seriously, man, it's freezing."

"Five minutes," and Kris hangs up, counting backwards from ten in his head. This really could not have happened at a worse time, and he wants to stomp his feet and throw a tantrum right here, right in Adam's car, and _God_. What seriously shitty luck.

"I really, really, _really_ wish we were only children," Adam sighs as he pulls out of the parking lot.

Kris takes a couple seconds to tamp down his helpless anger. "I'm sorry my brother's an idiot," is the only thing he can manage to say before pushing his forehead into the window. "I'm sorry for ruining tonight."

Adam's hand comes up to rub his back and Kris melts into the touch, already feeling a little bit better. This is _dangerous_ , he knows, but he can't help but fall into it, jump into this thing wholeheartedly. It's all he knows to do. "You didn't ruin anything," Adam says soothingly. He pulls at Kris's shoulder until Kris is facing him again. "This was kind of the most amazing date I've ever had. Not even cockblocking little brothers can take that away."

Kris curls into the seat and cradles Adam's hand in both of his. "I had a really, really great time too," Kris says. "And... those other things... there's time enough for that."

"Definitely," Adam agrees.

"So it's my turn to woo you now, huh?"

Adam laughs. "Yeah, I think it is. But for the record, I've already been thoroughly charmed."

"Good to know."

They roll down Kris's street much too quickly, and Adam starts giggling as soon as he sees Daniel - wearing pajama bottoms and cuddling a fidgety Elvis - sitting on the welcome mat. "Give me a sec," Kris says before opening the door and jogging to press his set of keys into Daniel's hand. He waits until Daniel has corralled Elvis inside and has shut the front door before walking back to Adam's car.

Adam hands him his backpack through the window and says, "So I'll call you later?"

"Yes, please."

"Try not to kill Daniel."

"I can't promise anything."

"I'd miss you if you went to jail," Adam says beseechingly.

Kris laughs and grazes his fingers on the back of Adam's hand. "I'll try really hard, just for you."

Adam smiles at him, eyes glinting under the moonlight. "See you tomorrow."

"Drive safe," Kris says, and he stands on the sidewalk until Adam's car disappears around the corner.

\---

Kris falls asleep with a smile on his face and the phone clutched in his hand. He wakes up to the sun shining through his blinds and the crackly sound of Adam's deep breathing in his ear.

It's going to be an amazing day.

  


 **Kris:** _BABE_  
 **Adam:** _?_  
 **Kris:** _First chair!!!!!!!!!!_  
 **Adam:** _TPJGMDPTADMWJTMWPGDJTMWPAD !!!!!_  
 **Kris:** _!!!!!!!!_  
 **Adam:** _I told you!!!!! Aaaaahhhhh this is so awesome!!!!!_  
 **Kris:** _< 3<3<3 ty for believing_  
 **Adam:** _Always, baby_  
 

\---

 **Adam:** _I miss you_  
 **Kris:** _..........just saw you at lunch_  
 **Adam:** _:( I'm needy today_  
 **Kris:** _< 33333 what's up?_  
 **Adam:** _Ugh sorry i'm so whiny i'll stop now_  
 **Kris:** _Get a hall pass. Bathroom next to my old chem lab. Now now now_

 **Adam:** _I love you i love you i love you i love you i love you_  
 **Kris:** _Better?_  
 **Adam:** _Much :*_  
 **Kris:** _At your service <3 love you more_

\---

 **Kris:** _ADAM_  
 **Adam:** _KRISTOPHER_  
 **Kris:** _COME HEEEEEERE_  
 **Adam:** _YOU KNOW I CAN'T :( I WANT TO SO BAD_  
 **Kris:** _WHY ARE WE YELLING_  
 **Adam:** _You started it_  
 **Kris:** _I miss you :(_  
 **Adam:** _I'll be back tomorrow, you better be waiting for me_

 **Kris:** _ADAMMMMMMTWPGJTMWGM_  
 **Adam:** _Are you behaving?_  
 **Kris:** _Wgy arent youwjm gghdere_  
 **Adam:** _Aww my baby's drunk that's so cute_  
 **Kris:** _Shtwp mgadpgjmwtad jpg ad;tpw_  
 **Adam:** _Uh huh. Tell me more_  
 **Kris:** _Hey Adam this is Alli, I'm taking his phone hostage til he sobers up_  
 **Adam:** _Tuck him into bed for me please_

\---

 **Adam:** _:|_  
 **Kris:** _Don't make that face at me_  
 **Adam:** _Stop stealing my clothes_  
 **Kris:** _I'm innocent_  
 **Adam:** _Saw my hoodie in your car, dork_  
 **Kris:** _No you didn't_  
 **Adam:** _I want it baaaaaaack it looks so pretty on me_  
 **Kris:** _You look pretty in anything_  
 **Adam:** _Stop being cute_  
 **Kris:** _I win :) Love you_

 

 **one  
senior year**

 

 _Adam's lying on his back and Kris is gasping into his mouth, writhing desperately on top of him, whimpering disjointed pleas and Adam's name, and Adam can't, he can't wait. Adam grips Kris's hips in his hands and lines himself up, slowly works his way in, inch by delicious inch. The tight, wet heat welcomes Adam, and Kris clutches hard on Adam's shoulders, breaths coming out hard and fast. Kris's broken, drawn-out moans are basically hot-wired straight to Adam's dick, and Adam doesn't think he's ever been this hard in his life._

Adam braces his feet on the bed and slowly thrusts up, God, nothing in his life has ever felt this good, Kris mouthing wet kisses all over his face and shoulders, and he keeps thrusting, knows he's hitting just the right spot with the way Kris's body locks up, the way Kris squeezes all around him, and Adam's close, so close --

Adam opens his eyes to Kris humming around his cock, throat working around him, Kris's eyes glazed and dark and glinting in the pink light of dawn. Adam's hips buck violently upward, the hazy memory of his wet dream floating away in favor of his reality, of _this_ , Kris smiling at him, sweet and dirty and the absolute perfect thing to wake up to. Kris pulls off, hand taking over, grip - _fuck_ \- just exactly right, fucking amazing, just the way Adam likes it.

Kris knows this is the quickest way to get Adam off, fingers tight, wrist twisting just so, and a thumb brushing his slit every time, and Adam feels glorious heat building low in his stomach, a buzzing in his skin that leaves him breathless.

"You're so gorgeous like this. C'mon, babe. I want you to come for me," Kris whispers, voice low and absolutely wrecked. A distant part of Adam wonders how long Kris has been at it, but then all thought flies out of his head when Kris ducks back down and sucks _hard_ , and Adam's coming with a sharp cry, hand brushing Kris's distended cheek and gripping in his hair. Adam forces his eyes open so he can watch Kris take all of it, groan as Adam swells in his mouth, putting on a little show as he licks Adam clean. This is the filthiest, most gorgeous thing of all, and Adam feels like he could absolutely come again, just from watching Kris's mouth and tongue.

Adam falls back onto the bed, boneless and giddy, and it's the best fucking morning of his entire fucking life. He vaguely registers Kris wiping his chin off one corner of his bedspread, the haze clearing a little bit when he slowly crawls up Adam's body, pressing wet kisses everywhere he goes. When Kris's knees settle on either side of his waist, Adam's horrified to find that Kris is still completely dressed.

"Too many clothes," Adam mumbles as his hand comes up under Kris's shirt. Adam's arms feel like wet noodles right now, but he perseveres, needing to feel skin.

"I got here and you were moaning my name," Kris gasps desperately into his mouth, teeth pulling at Adam's upper lip. "You were writhing on the bed and saying my name, there wasn't time for --"

Kris is moving restlessly against him, his jeans are chafing Adam's skin, but Adam still feels hazy and blissed out, so he just lets Kris do what he wants, clumsily helping him pull his pants and underwear down a little. Kris's cock is blistering hot against Adam's stomach, Kris's deep moan at first contact even hotter, fuck. And then Adam's suddenly alert, kissing back enthusiastically, Adam's hand striping Kris once, twice, and Kris is _gone_ , biting hard at Adam's shoulder and coming all over them both.

" _Adam_ ," Kris gasps brokenly, knees buckling so he's sprawled artlessly on top of him.

Adam strokes Kris's back until the tremors go away, until Kris's breaths come out even and slow. They sleepily stumble to the shower to rinse off, then pull on matching sweatpants at Adam's insistence ("My mother might come in here, jeez"), stripping the sheets off the bed and curling together in the middle of the mattress, limbs all tangled.

\---

When Adam wakes up, Kris is starfished on the bed next to him, arm curled possessively around his waist. Adam sighs happily at the revelation that none of it was an incredibly vivid dream, that Kris really did come to his room at ass o'clock in the morning to give him the most fantastic wake-up blowjob of his life. (It's his first, too, but whatever.) It's the best thing, the most special treat, waking up to Kris nestled close to him and drooling all over his pillows. Adam thinks of where he'll be a year from now, living his dream in New York, and more importantly, getting to have this every single day.

Just imagining it makes his heart twist, so he pulls Kris half on top of him, throwing Kris's leg around his waist. Adam buries his nose in Kris's hair and breathes in deep, loving the familiar scent of his shampoo. Kris sighs in his sleep and Adam smiles, closing his eyes and falling under once again.

The next time Adam opens his eyes, Kris's smiling face is the first thing he sees. It's instinct, almost, to lean forward and give him a kiss, Adam keeping his mouth firmly closed but still needing to feel Kris's lips against his. Kris makes an unhappy sound and kisses him deeper, and Adam is so far gone by now that he just licks away the sleep-sour taste from Kris's mouth. It's the best thing, it really is, lazily making out with Kris on his bed on a gorgeous Saturday morning, feeling Kris's hands span on his back, tongue playful and teasing, lips warm and pliant against his, completely happy to just kiss and kiss and kiss.

Adam's fingers tangle in Kris's hair as he keeps Kris's head pressed to his, leisurely licking and sucking, reveling in the feeling of Kris smiling against his mouth and pushing closer to him.

"How did you even get in here?" Adam whispers when they pause to breathe and he can process some semblance of coherent thought.

Kris smiles sleepily in answer, fingers trailing down Adam's throat. "My parents left at 5 to drive down to my aunt's. I borrowed Neil's keys, wanted to surprise you."

"What's the occasion?" Adam murmurs into Kris's cheek.

"Does there have to be?"

"No," Adam sighs.

"Mmm, exactly," Kris says as he tilts his head, and Adam obligingly mouths at the underside of his chin. "Wanted this. Wanted to wake up next to you."

It's unbelievable, how Kris can still floor him like this. How Kris can still make Adam's heart stutter in his chest exactly the way it did whenever Kris texted him back in the early days, when they went out on their first date, when they held hands for the first time. "I really like you," Adam says wistfully, pressing his forehead against Kris's.

Kris laughs and rubs their noses together. "Do you like me enough to get me breakfast?"

"Noooooo," Adam groans. "No food. More kissing."

Kris presses a laughing kiss into Adam's mouth, and Adam tries to draw him back in. Kris relents for a long, blissful moment, enthusiastically kissing back, but then pulls away. "M'starving, babe," and there's almost a pout on Kris's lips, it's the cutest thing ever.

Adam reluctantly rolls away and sits up, taking a few seconds to memorize the image of a rumpled, half-naked Kris sprawled on his bed, then walking to the closet to get them some clothes. Adam's starting to pull on his favorite Bowie shirt when Kris is suddenly behind him, tugging. "I want this one," Kris says.

That shirt has only just made it back to Adam's closet after spending weeks in Kris's room. Come to think of it, in the year-plus that they've been together, Kris has worn it more often than Adam has. "Why do you even let me bring it back here if you'll just steal it again?"

"It's not stealing," Kris says, voice muffled. He tugs the shirt over his head with a satisfied smile. "I give it back when it doesn't smell like you anymore."

Adam gives him a soft kiss for that. "You're sappy today, I love it."

Kris just rolls his eyes and tugs him out of the room and down the stairs. They pass by Neil in the living room, watching cartoons while cradling a bowl of cereal on his lap. Leila's in the kitchen, fully dressed and bustling around, muttering to herself.

"Morning," they both say as they shuffle past her to the cupboard, pulling out two cereal bowls. Adam pulls out the box of Lucky Charms while Kris takes out the milk from the fridge, and they settle on the table, lightly bickering about how much cereal Adam poured into his bowl.

"I'm not eating until you put in as much as I did," Kris insists.

"But I'm not hungry."

"Yes you are. Do it."

"Boys, no fighting this early in the morning. I'll be out all day, there's money on the counter for pizza and I'm bringing home dinner," Leila says. "Text me if your plans change."

"Thanks, mom," Adam says around a spoonful of cereal, and she makes a face at him before kissing the top of his head.

"Bye, mom," Kris says, and Leila kisses him too before flying out the door.

They rinse their bowls at the sink and trudge back upstairs hand in hand, Adam pausing by the linen closet to get a new bedspread. Kris puts all the dirty stuff in the laundry basket then helps Adam pull on the stubborn sheet, collapsing on the bed when they're done. Adam crawls in next to him, sighing happily when Kris throws a leg around Adam's waist and cuddles in tight.

"Rehearsal at 1?"

"Yeah."

"Set your alarm," Kris yawns.

"I don't need it."

"Yes you do."

Adam pulls away to set the alarm on his phone, and when he turns back, Kris has fallen asleep. "Typical," Adam sighs. Adam lies down and pulls Kris into his chest, letting his mind wander for a few minutes before drifting off as well.


	2. the early days

 

 **how i'll start**

 

Adam tries not to inhale all the coffee in his tumbler at once, he really does, but he's just been dropped off at school an entire hour before the first bell is due to ring, and it's just. There's really no other way to stay awake.

It's thanks to his years of dance-training-by-way-of-theater that he doesn't trip over his own two feet while attempting to push the main door open with his shoulder. He blearily makes the twists and turns to his locker, mentally planning to pass out on his desk in Music Theory and wait for the bell to wake him up. There's a familiar figure leaning right against his locker, seemingly waiting for him, and Adam thinks he might be hallucinating.

Adam's running on three hours of sleep because they'd been texting all night, and Adam has been spending pretty much all of his spare time thinking about him, all day every day, and he has a very active imagination, okay.

But as he slowly steps closer, the apparition doesn't change or go away; it stays just the same, just Kris, Kris in his plaid shirt and tighter-than-usual jeans, Kris sporting a serious case of bedhead.

Kris trying to bring Adam to his knees with his low-lidded gaze and easy smile.

"Hey, you," the non-apparition drawls lazily, and Adam is struck dumb, defenseless against the sudden onslaught of memories of yesterday afternoon - Alisan's ribbing while they sat in the bleachers and Adam stole glances at a gorgeous, uniform-clad Kris doing drills; Kris coming up to them after, all freshly-showered and distractingly damp, easily deflecting Alisan's teasing and matching Adam flirt for flirt despite the adorable blush rising in his cheeks; Alisan mumbling about a Spanish exam and ducking away; Kris unceremoniously dropping down next to him, followed by two and a half hours of talking about everything and nothing, batting mosquitoes away and making a contest of spotting lightning bugs; Kris eyeing his nail polish an hour in, grabbing his hand, calloused fingers lacing with his for the billionth time in two weeks.

What Adam remembers most of all is the last lull in their conversation ending with Kris kissing Adam's palm and murmuring _I think I'm done waiting now_.

Adam's stomach bottoms out at the sense memory of their first kiss... then their second and third and fifteenth and possibly hundredth; making out _on their way_ to his car, _up against_ his car, and _inside_ his car; stealing glances and breaking into giggles as Adam drove, Kris curled up in his passenger seat like he belonged there, making no secret of his attention; the absolute fucking hottest kiss of his life happening at the sidewalk in front of Kris's house; Neil rolling his eyes at him all through dinner ( _"Dude, stop smiling. You're freaking me out."_ ); curling up in bed - not even attempting homework because who was he kidding - thumbs flying on his keypad, feeling more alive than ever, relishing the freedom to say things like _you have really nice hands_ and _I like your butt_ and _it took everything in me to let you go_ and _so how do you feel about pet names?_ and grinning so hard his cheeks hurt and even then, he couldn't stop.

Adam doesn't know how long they stand there staring dopily at each other, but the sound of a locker slamming two hallways away jars him out of his daze. His grin gets impossibly wider as he steps closer. Adam feels his heart skitter in his chest when Kris reaches out to take his hand and tips his chin up for a kiss.

It's soft and quick and Kris's lips feel better than Adam remembers.

He'd be horrified at the dreamy sigh he lets out the moment they part, but Kris's closed eyes and goofy grin makes him feel better about his ridiculousness, makes his knees weak.

The newness of it is intoxicating. Adam wants it, has been wanting it for a while, and he could happily drown in the knowledge that he _has_ it, that he's welcome to take it as often as he can, that he's wanted back just as much. He shuts his eyes and leans in for another kiss. What's even more flooring is how quickly it's becoming familiar - how Kris automatically takes top lip because Adam had claimed his bottom lip from the very first; Kris's one crooked tooth that Adam can't help but pay extra attention to; the mint of Kris's toothpaste; how Kris welcomes the press of his tongue and already knows just how much to press back; the sound Kris makes at the back of his throat that makes Adam want to pull him impossibly closer.

Kris seems to have the same idea - he steps right into Adam's space and winds an arm around Adam's waist, noses at Adam's neck. It feels right, holding each other like this first thing in the morning, stealing a private moment in the middle of an empty hallway. Adam nuzzles at Kris's temple and inhales the scent of strawberry Pop-Tarts, aftershave, and Kris's generic shampoo.

"I could get used to this," Kris mumbles into his skin.

Adam feels a manic grin almost split his face. "Me too."

They stay curled into each other for a long time, enjoying the moment, adjusting bit by bit as they learn how to fit their bodies together. "How did you know I was even going to be here?" Adam whispers into the space between them.

Adam's morning routine has been screwy all week - his mom's truck is in the shop, so Adam and Neil get dropped off to school at an ungodly hour.

Kris pulls his head away slightly, a shy smile on his face. "Thought you'd like some company."

"Yeah?" Adam grins back. "Thought you'd still be in bed. Y'know, after you fell asleep on me last night."

The blush that blooms on Kris's cheeks is unbearably adorable. "I know, I'm sorry - I saw your texts when I woke up. It's way too early in this relationship for me to screw up like that, I knew I had to make it up to you."

"Relationship?" Adam asks, eyebrow raised.

Kris's eyes widen in panic. "Um. Yeah?" His head ducks down and he takes a deep breath before looking back up at Adam with a determined expression. "Only if you - I mean, I didn't want to presume, but --"

Another kiss - Adam pours his heart into it, wanting to show Kris without words that he's in this too, he can't not be, there's nobody else in the universe he wants to be in this _with_ ; he swallows Kris's whimpers and tries to map every crevice of Kris's mouth with his tongue; discovers that the roof of Kris's mouth is incredibly sensitive and vows to take advantage of this knowledge as often as he can; twists them around so he's pressing Kris up against the lockers, their entire bodies aligned.

It's an effort to stop, and they gasp into each other's mouths for a long moment, trying to catch their breath. Kris takes hold of Adam's bottom lip and pulls, and _damn_ if that's not the hottest thing anyone has ever done to him. "Is that a yes?" Kris asks, smug.

Adam shuts his eyes against the wall of feeling, then darts forward and bites at the air between them. "Stop gloating."

"You're just about as threatening as an angry puppy, Adam," Kris says as his hands restlessly make their way under Adam's jacket and toy at the hem of Adam's shirt. "But I like you anyway."

Adam can't help but kiss him again after that. "I like you, too."

Kris's gaze suddenly narrows with an unnerving kind of focus, hands coming up to toy with Adam's hair, fingertips tracing his lined eyelids, down his cheeks, and all along his lips. There's nothing quite like being the sole focus of Kris Allen's attention, and Adam just submits to it, Kris's awed grin telling him all he needs to know.

Kris's thumbs make their way down to caress his neck and rub at his collarbones, and it feels so good, his hands so warm, and all Adam wants is to bury himself in it, can't help the yawn that escapes his lips. "Sorry, I just --"

"S'okay," all the understanding and patience in the world is in Kris's voice. "How do you feel about taking a nap in my car 'til first bell?"

"That's the best idea I've ever heard in my life," Adam sighs. "You don't mind?"

Kris smiles. "Not at all." Kris leans down to pick up the backpack Adam hadn't realized he'd dropped and then tugs on his hand. "I'm parked right outside."

Their fingers stay laced together as they stumble out the door and into the early morning light. Kris's battered Corolla is the only car in the lot. Kris pulls the passenger door open and gently pushes him inside. With a deep sigh, Adam settles into the seat and pushes the recliner all the way down.

He vaguely hears the dual _thump_ of their bags being dumped in the back seat, and smiles when the car shifts as Kris slides in next to him. Adam curls on his side and reaches out to tamp down the messy shock of Kris's hair. "Brush," he slurs, quickly falling under the blanket of sleep. Kris's quiet laugh and the feel of warm fingers touching his face are the last things Adam remembers before everything drifts away.

\---

The same fingers are suddenly shaking his shoulders. "Five minutes," Adam grunts.

"Bell's ringing in fifteen. C'mon Adam, don't you need to fix your makeup and stuff first?"

That jolts Adam right out of the warm haze of sleep, and he blinks at Kris, his hands belatedly flying up to cover his face. "Oh my God, I'm a complete mess."

Kris's laugh is shooting up Adam's list of top twenty sounds in the whole world. Top ten. No, top three. "No, you're not. Hey, come on." Surprisingly strong fingers pry his own away from his face. "But I know you won't believe me, so go do your thing."

Adam huffs at him and checks the rearview mirror. His eyeliner's a little smudged, but there isn't any damage otherwise. He's mortified at the thought of Kris seeing his raccoon imitation.

"S'all good?" Kris asks.

"It's fine. Oh my God, please tell me you didn't just watch me sleep this whole time," Adam groans.

There's that laugh again. Top two now, definitely.

"I slept a little too. And I did my homework," Kris says and glances at his watch. "First is in ten."

Adam gusts out a sigh before leaning in for a quick kiss. When Adam tries to pull away, Kris grunts in protest and clamps a hand on his neck, opening his mouth further. And Adam knows this now, knows the slant of Kris's mouth, knows Kris likes his lower lip bitten, knows the shape of Kris's crooked grin. He can't wait to find out more.

He finds his hand fisted in Kris's shirt and tries to smooth the wrinkles away. "You're bossy," Adam rasps. "I like it."

Kris blushes and clears his throat. "Uh."

Adam laughs openly, delighted. "You're so cute, it should be criminal."

Kris blushes impossibly harder at that, and Adam laughs some more. The first bell hasn't even rung yet, and already it's the best Thursday Adam has ever had.

"So uh, should we start, y'know, telling people? About us?" Kris asks haltingly.

"Kris. Alisan is going to be able to tell, the moment I walk into Music Theory. Just from the look on my face." Adam falters. "That's okay, right? I mean, it's not exactly a surprise, I don't think --"

"Yeah, let's just - we'll answer anyone who asks, but for the rest, maybe lunch? So we can tell everyone all in one go."

"Okay, yeah, lunch is good. And I think my mom already kind of knows, so."

"Oh jeez, my mom's going to want you over for dinner," Kris moans, looking like he wants to melt into his seat and disappear.

Adam squeezes Kris's wrist and tamps down the churn of illogical nerves in his stomach. Kris's mom has known him since the day he was born. There's nothing to be afraid of. "It's okay. Your mom's super cool, it'll be great. _We'll_ be great."

Kris looks like he's about to say something else when the first warning bell suddenly rings. Five minutes. Kris wrinkles his nose at him and tugs at the sleeve of Adam's jacket. Adam happily obliges, darting forward for a quick peck.

"I'm not gonna be able to think of anything else all day," Adam murmurs before pulling away.

"I know, right," Kris smiles ruefully. "Well. Not that that's new or anything. Been thinking about you - about this - for a while."

They grin at each other for another long beat, then Kris turns to get out of the car and pulls out their stuff from the back seat. Adam gingerly steps out too, brushing his fingers against Kris's when he reaches out for his bag.

Before Adam could even think about waffling between kissing him or not, Kris leans up and pecks Adam's cheek, mumbling "see you at lunch" before jogging away.

Adam just stands there for a few seconds, goggling at the space Kris was standing in. He lifts his head just in time to catch a glimpse of Kris's smirk before his attention is torn away by someone clapping him on the back.

"Hey, congrats, man," Cale stage-whispers at him, a knowing grin on his face.

Adam grins back helplessly and follows him into the music building. "Did he tell you?"

"Nope. His car windows aren't exactly tinted, man."

Adam feels his entire face flush red. "Crap."

"It's no big deal." They stop at Adam's door. "No seriously, I'm happy for you two. Been a long time coming," Cale says kindly.

"Yeah, why do I get the feeling we'll be hearing that all day?" he says.

Cale just grins wider. "Well, it's true. But hey - you know he's my best friend. You break his heart, I break your face."

Adam feels another giggle attack coming on, but he tamps it down the best he can. "Um. Uh huh. I believe you."

"See you at lunch!" Cale waves and grins cheekily as he walks away.

He's three steps into the classroom when suddenly Alisan is right up in his face, her chin tipped up and eyes kind of scarily huge. "Oh my God, it finally happened. Spill. _Now_."

It's going to be a long day. Adam can't really pretend that he minds.

\---

Adam endures Alisan's flaily freakout in first, Dani's knowing gaze all through third, and Andrew's extra hard shove in the hallway between third and fourth. He's jittery and impatient all morning, tapping his feet and fidgeting in his seat through all his classes. He endures raised eyebrows from a couple teachers, but all he cares about is how light his palms feel, the glaringly empty space between his fingers, the ghost of Kris's touch on his face and arms. He can't concentrate on anything but the painful anticipation of seeing Kris at lunch.

His Lit classroom is about as far away from the cafeteria as possible, so their lunch table is full once he gets there. Kris is sitting on the farthest corner, head ducked while picking at his food. Suddenly Adam feels light-headed.

All conversation at the table stops once he's five feet away, and Adam just rolls his eyes, doesn't even try to hide the ridiculous grin that blossomed on his face at the first sight of... of his _boyfriend_. He has a boyfriend now. How strange.

He walks forward and bends down to kiss Allison's head before taking the empty seat on Kris's left, very much aware of at least eight pairs of eyes tracking his every move. He grins, nonchalantly picks up a fry from Kris's tray and nibbles on it. Everyone's still staring, Allison practically vibrating on the seat across from him.

"I've always dreamed of silencing a room when I enter it. You guys have totally ruined that fantasy, just so you know," he says, winking at Kris.

"Come on man, just say it. Kristopher here hasn't looked any of us in the eye the whole time he's been here," Matt says, exasperated.

"That's a lie," Kris smirks, a gorgeous blush staining his cheeks. Adam can't help but grin at that, his right hand coming up to touch.

Megan snorts, and suddenly the whole table is roaring with laughter. Adam rolls his eyes at Kris, who just grins and laces their fingers together.

"Glad that's over with," Adam scoffs, and he's not blushing. He's really, really _not_.

Cale and Andrew's heads are bent together, sniggering like idiots; Allison's reaching across the table to pinch Kris's cheek; and Lee's whooping the loudest of them all despite Scarlett's shushing - Danielle's handing him a wad of cash.

"You didn't," Adam says indignantly.

"What else are we going to do for entertainment, man? Dangit, I missed by two days, couldn't you have done this on movie night?" Cale smirks.

"Dude, I overshot by an entire week," Tommy says. "Shoulda known Adam would snap sooner."

Alisan laughs at that - "Sources tell me it was the other way around. Am I right, superstar?"

"Oh ho, really, Kris? Didn't know you had it in you," Brad crows.

Kris's blush runs all the way down his neck, and all Adam can think of is that he needs to find out how far it goes. Like, immediately.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Brad," Kris drawls, an evil tilt to his smile.

Adam chokes on a giggle as the table bursts into another round of laughter.

\---

It's a very, very good thing that they're running through one of the big group numbers today - Mr. D. is easily distracted by the ensemble's shenanigans and Adam doesn't come in to sing his part until close to the end; that makes it much easier to hide his complete and utter lack of focus that afternoon. Adam is so intensely aware of Kris sitting in the pit right down the stage, just a few feet away - forehead probably scrunched in deep concentration (adorable), hands gentle on his instrument (hot), and wearing his glasses (completely irresistible). Adam spends most of rehearsal just hanging around backstage, mind running wildly through all of the things he wants to do to Kris once they're alone again. He's on edge the whole time, hands itching to get at skin he's barely acquainted with; wanting to hear all the delicious sounds Kris makes when Adam licks like _that_ ; but mostly he feels warm and touch-starved, needing to hold and be held, to make sure that all of it is real.

It should be terrifying, but somehow it isn't, and Adam's not used to this kind of certainty barely twenty-four hours into a relationship. It's just that - he _knows_ Kris, and all through their friendship, he's been nothing but steady, reassuring, sweet, and just one of the best people Adam knows. And they'd talked about this a lot, in that hypothetical way you do with your close friends - Adam has known all along that Kris has patience in spades and he won't get into anything that isn't real; and despite Kris's teasing, he knows that Adam's been looking for it too. That's where it all started, that night on someone's porch a few months ago, sharing that with Kris. And every time Adam thinks of the previous night, making out in the backseat of his car, that look of joy and awe on Kris's face every time they pulled apart to breathe, Kris's strong and sure grip, Kris's soft gasps and little moans and enthusiastic tongue - Adam feels his heart trip, feels like the two of them are standing at the edge of a cliff, getting ready to jump.

Yeah. _Distracting._

Before he knows it, he's being pulled into a last-minute pow-wow with the rest of the cast, their dance captain announcing the rehearsal schedule for the rest of the week and how they'll be rotating scenery work and more rehearsal on Saturday. And then Danielle and Scarlett are pulling him downstage and into the seats, where Kris, Allison and Matt were chatting.

"Ready to go?" Kris asks as he gets up, slinging his backpack and viola case on his shoulders.

"Yeah," Adam answers, eyes fixed on the fall of the dim light on Kris's face.

Kris raises an eyebrow at him, like he knows exactly what he's thinking. "Scarlett's coming too, Dani? And Adam, I got you, right?"

"Yeah," Adam repeats dumbly, choosing to ignore the stifled giggles coming from Allison's general direction.

They make it to the parking lot eventually, and Adam's grateful that he doesn't trip and fall flat on his face, he's so tense. Scarlett throws questioning glances at him, probably weirded out by his silence, but they're easy to ignore with the large boxes of fabric they were all carrying.

It's a quick drive - barely fifteen minutes - and Danielle and Scarlett chatter the whole time, planning out costume designs while Kris laughs at some of their more ridiculous ideas. Adam contributes to the conversation every once in a while, but mostly he's focused on the weight of Kris's hand in his, kind of stunned at how casually Kris reached out to lace their fingers together as soon as they pulled away from the parking lot. He imagines dozens of school days ending just like this, taking turns driving each other home, hanging out, maybe even staying at each other's house for dinner. For so long, Adam has _wanted_ \- imagined doing all that cheesy, romantic, boyfriend-y shit with some nameless, faceless stranger He ached for it so much it hurt sometimes. And now it's _real_ , he _has it_ , this, _Kris_ , and it seems his imagination is even more outrageous than he thought.

They help the girls carry the boxes up to Danielle's room, and wish them luck on what's shaping up to be a long night of work. Scarlett pulls him in for an extra long hug and whispers "I'm so happy for you, baby" in his ear, and Adam shuts his eyes, feeling a burst of happiness that makes his knees a little weak.

Kris is quiet when they walk down the stairs, one hand idly playing with his keys. Adam smiles at the mess attached to them, eyeing several friendship bracelets the girls insisted they all had to have; a small guitar keychain that he knows are identical to the ones Cale, Tommy and Andrew have; and the peacock feather (the only one of its kind, thank you very much) Adam put there himself a month ago. It's a little funny to look back, to what was just a kind-of-blossoming not-thing between them, how Kris's fingers brushed his and it took Adam days to stop feeling the buzz under his skin.

Once they're both safely in the car, Adam lunges forward and grabs Kris's face, catching his lips in a clumsy kiss. After a couple seconds of frozen surprise, Kris makes the hottest little _mmmph_ at the back of his throat, mouth opening under his, teeth pulling at his upper lip. Adam sighs and falls into it, body straining, trying to get closer, all but crawling across the console.

Kris pulls away after a minute, gasping, eyes glazed and mouth shining red. Adam grins then tries to claim another kiss, but Kris laughs softly and cups his face. "Adam. Not here, jeez."

"What --"

"I'm not making out with my boyfriend while parked right in front of his best friend's house," Kris huffs, fingers trailing down his neck.

"Oh. Right." It's like a fog suddenly lifts, and Adam remembers exactly where they are and who might be looking in. " _Oh._ "

Kris just snorts and presses a kiss at the corner of his mouth. "I was thinking - Green Alley?"

"Yeah sure," Adam answers, still dazed.

"You okay?" Kris asks. "I can, uh. I can take you home if you don't --"

That snaps Adam out of it. "What, no - I want - I mean." Adam's never had trouble with words before, but it seems like he can't think of any now. So he just leans in and pours all of it - his excitement, joy, gratitude, giddiness - in a long, deep kiss.

"Oh."

"Uh huh," Adam breathes, exhilarated. "C'mon, let's make good use of your backseat."

\---

Somehow they make it a few blocks to the dead end at Green Alley - Adam keeps running his fingers on Kris's cheek, down his neck, up under his shirt, and Kris looks torn between melting into his touch and trying to keep them both alive by keeping his eyes on the road. "I hate you," Kris grits out and Adam just laughs and laughs.

To Adam's delight, Kris is still scowling at him when they park and then climb into the backseat. "You're so cute when you pout," Adam coos, scooting so he can press Kris into the corner.

Kris scowls, but then gives himself away when he instinctively spreads his legs and tilts his chin up. "I don't know why I put up with you."

Chuckling, Adam settles between Kris's legs and leans forward so their lips touch as they speak. "Can't help it. Been wanting to touch you all day. _Kris._ "

Kris arches up, groaning into his mouth, hands fumbling under his shirt and up his back, grip strong and unyielding. Adam shuts his eyes and just lets himself _feel_ , heart tripping in his chest, skin burning, entire body straining to get close, closer, never, ever enough. He's completely in the moment, gives as much as he takes, lets Kris know what he likes with his gasps and sighs, mapping Kris's mouth with his tongue, chasing away the taste of Twizzlers and coke until all he can taste is _them_.

Adam takes a second to pull away and shifts backward, trying to give Kris space to breathe; Kris groans in protest and surges up, and that leads them bumping their heads together, hard.

The flash of pain that follows isn't too bad, but Kris's head is smaller than his, and gravity was working against him. Kris, on the other hand, lets out a loud whimper, his hand coming up to the sore spot on his forehead.

Adam takes that hand and clutches it with both of his, leaning down to reach the offending spot. "Sorry, baby," he murmurs into Kris's skin, kissing lightly. He carefully moves off Kris's lap, adjusting so they're both on their sides, leaning on the backseat.

Kris automatically laces their fingers together, like he doesn't even need to think about doing it. "I'm okay." He scoots closer, arm reaching out to wrap around Adam's waist, humming when Adam peppers kisses on his forehead.

Adam feels a delicious thrill run through his back when Kris presses closer, leg coming up to hook around his waist. Kris's breaths are hot and wet against Adam's skin. It feels wonderful.

"I think today is the best day," Kris murmurs into Adam's jaw.

"Mmm really? I think the day of our first kiss was the best day," Adam answers. It's a heady feeling, talking to Kris like this, knowing that he _can_ , and Adam doesn't think it will ever get old.

Kris's hand drifts up under Adam's shirt, nails scratching lightly at his waist. Adam can't help but arch into the touch, every point of contact searing his skin. "Well, yes. Felt so much like a dream, though. Then I woke up and it was real," Kris says.

Adam tips Kris's chin up for a short, sweet kiss. "Yeah, it's real," Adam whispers, stroking the delicate line of Kris's cheekbone, enjoying the softness of Kris's skin. Adam has always thought that Kris was good-looking; he's never passed up the chance to stare a little bit, especially when Kris laughs or smiles or - Adam's secret weakness - when Kris ducks his head, shy, exposing the gorgeous line of his neck, eyelashes fanning his cheek. Up close like this, Kris is even more perfect Adam had ever imagined, eyelids heavy with affection, lips red and shiny. All for Adam. _Because of_ Adam.

Kris opens his mouth further and deepens the kiss, tongue stroking Adam's as they languidly explore, breaths mingling. Adam's quickly becoming addicted to the soft sighs Kris lets out whenever Adam sucks on his tongue, how his breath hitches when Adam's hand runs down the smooth plane of his back. Adam's hand drifts all the way down to Kris's ass, just feeling. When Kris pushes himself back into the touch, Adam slides his hand into a back pocket and squeezes lightly. That draws another new, gorgeous sound from the back of Kris's throat, and Adam chases it with his tongue, their kisses going deeper and becoming wilder. Kris whines a little and tugs Adam sideways; Adam has to pull away with a gasp when Kris bucks against him and simultaneously starts to knead his ass and thigh.

As Adam tries to catch his breath, Kris hums and kisses down his neck, licking and sucking lightly. Kris's mouth is _perfect_ , something Adam didn't even know to wish for; full and soft, giving just the right amount of pressure. It seems Adam isn't the only one learning things quickly. It's almost too much. Adam's all the way hard in his jeans, harder than he's been in a pretty long time, and he can feel the line of Kris's cock pressing against the jut of his hip. Adam's head could explode when he lets himself think of all the possibilities, _all_ the things they could do, things he's long wanted to do to Kris. But what Adam wants more is to not make this - their first real day together - just about pawing at each other to get off. It's so much more than that. Adam knows that even when they _do_ take that step, it will never be just about sex, ever, but there's time enough for that. More than enough time.

When Kris's wandering hand makes its way back up to Adam's waist, Adam picks it up. Even if they've done this dozens of times in the last couple of weeks, the simple contact still makes Adam's breath catch.

Kris squeezes his hand like he knows what Adam's thinking. Adam just smiles, flexes his fingers, testing the weight of Kris's hand in his. Runs his fingertips on Kris's callouses, careful and caressing, exploring the dips and lines on Kris's skin. Loves how small and soft Kris's hand is. Loves the knowledge of it, that this is his right now, to touch and explore whenever and however he wants.

Adam twines their fingers together slowly and lets out a soft breath, heart both heavy and light in his chest.

There's a few beats of silence, and then:

"Good fit," Kris murmurs, fingers squeezing his.

Adam grins. " _Great_ fit."

Their fingers continue to move together, twisting and grasping, palms meeting in a kiss. Adam watches, mesmerized.

Abruptly, Kris's hand starts to move toward Adam's face. Kris's fingers lightly touch his lips, and Adam shivers. He turns his head and feels a burst of devastating pleasure at Kris's shining eyes. No one has ever looked at him like that before.

"Your freckles are distracting," Kris whispers.

He smiles at Kris fondly, unselfconscious now, feeling safe under the blanket of his easy, unguarded affection. Kris has always been grabby, has always shown a remarkable disregard for personal space when it comes to all of his friends, but. This is different. It makes Adam brave; makes the sea of emotions easier to drown in, knowing that Kris is right there to put breath back in his lungs.

He reaches out and cups Kris's face in his hands. "I've been waiting for you," he says. This has been a long time coming, and he's never been one to lie in omission. And truths have always been easier to say in the dark.

Kris's eyes stay locked on his, and he turns his cheek, drops a soft kiss on Adam's palm. "I know. Me too."

And this, this is the most terrifying thing he's ever done. Adam braces himself, screws his eyes shut, because maybe he's not as brave as he wants to be. Not yet. "Please don't break my heart," he breathes.

His ears ring in the sudden silence.

Then. "Adam, look at me," Kris says, voice barely above a whisper. Adam opens his eyes and sees Kris's steady smile. "I'm right here with you. It's scary as heck, but I'm here. I _promise_."

Adam shuts his eyes against the burn of tears, and presses his forehead against Kris's, breaths gone shallow, thumbs absently caressing Kris's jaw. "Okay. We're good," Adam sighs, wishing he could take this moment and keep it somewhere he can take it out and look at it and examine it, and most importantly _feel_ it, all over again, any time he wants.

"We're pretty freaking _great_ ," Kris laughs against Adam's mouth and kisses him. And Adam pushes away that ridiculous thought, because he has this now, he doesn't need to lock anything away because Kris is _right here_ , Kris who makes him feel beautiful and giddy and cherished. Kris who makes him feel like he can climb mountains and swim across oceans, sappy as that may sound.

They kiss for a little while longer; soft and sweet kisses devoid of their earlier urgency. Adam sighs at each and every one, feeling blissed out, refusing to pull away completely even if his lips are going numb.

Adam ends up sprawled across the entire backseat, Kris perched on his chest. "I like you," Kris grins at him. It's the most adorable thing ever, and Adam ruffles his hair.

"I really, _really_ like you," Adam answers with a soft smile. "I'm so glad we're doing this."

Kris presses a kiss into Adam's sternum and then turns his head to rub his cheek on Adam's t-shirt. "Me too."

It's getting a little late, and they'll have to go soon, separate houses and families and dinners waiting for them. They'll have to let go for the night, and wait until morning to have each other again. But for now, Adam is more than content to just sit and hold Kris close, match his breathing to Kris's, recall everything that's happened during this impossible day and memorize how it all feels. For now, this is Adam's entire world.

 

* * *

 

 **at my side**

 

Kris is in the living room, fiddling with his guitar, fingers restless on the strings and eyes darting to the clock. It's Saturday afternoon, and Adam is late.

This isn't anything they haven't done before - they've been friends for years, and they've hung out on weekends often enough. Adam's been in his house - in his room - dozens of times, but. Kris kissed him for the very first time on Wednesday night, they've been kissing every day since then, and of course everything is different now. They've gone just about as far as they can get in the backseats of their cars - hours and hours of kissing, learning each other's mouths, hands wandering strictly under t-shirts but over belts. It's been three days of great fun, what he knows is an idiot grin plastered on his face pretty much the whole 72 hours, his personal space invaded by a warm body as often as humanly possible.

Adam is giggly, sweet, gorgeous as all heck, overflowing with affection that Kris very eagerly accepts. Kris wants to brand himself into Adam's skin, always tries to get as close as he can, but it's never close enough.

They haven't talked about it yet, but Kris knows what he wants, what the ache in the pit of his stomach means, that when he jerks himself off in the shower every night, he wants another body with him. Wants someone else's touch. He wants Adam, and more than that, he knows Adam too, knows his heart, knows there's no one he can trust more. He hopes Adam feels the same way.

Before he can get too far into his musings though, there's a sharp knock on the door, and Kris's heart stutters in his chest. He opens the front door to a harried, slightly disheveled Adam, smile warm and tired. "Sorry I'm so late," he says. "It was crazy, Mr. D. didn't want to give up on the run through, and it was just -- all of it was a disaster."

Kris frowns in sympathy and draws Adam into the foyer, tilting up on his toes and pulling Adam in for a hug. Adam just about collapses against him with a deep sigh, nose buried in his neck. Kris squeezes his waist carefully and lets his hands span up and down Adam's back, fingers digging in a vague massage-like way. Adam's sighs shudder against him as they stand like that for a while, just holding each other.

Eventually Kris manages to tug them both further into the house, mumbling, "Go lie down, I'll get you some food."

Adam makes a soft noise of protest when Kris lets go, but Kris insistently pushes him down onto the living room couch. Adam groans and tips sideways, wraps his arms around a throw pillow and snuggles into it like a kitten. Kris smiles and brushes a hand through Adam's hair before ambling into the kitchen, carefully putting the previous night's pasta and garlic bread in the oven. He places the food and a tall glass of lukewarm water on a tray and slowly walks back into the living room.

Adam's curled on his side, eyes half-lidded but wholly trained on him. Kris feels a blush rise up his cheeks but keeps his gaze, carefully setting the tray down. "Eat," he says.

Adam smiles and reaches a hand out to pull him onto the couch. Kris obediently leans back, pulling one knee upward and leaning into the curve that Adam's body made. His hand immediately comes up to card through Adam's hair. Adam leans into the touch, his knees curling further to rest against Kris's hip, essentially wrapping himself all around Kris. "Hi," Adam grins.

"Hey. Eat."

Adam shuts his eyes. "Too tired."

"That bad?" Kris asks, hand rubbing Adam's back.

"Worse," Adam mumbles. "

"I'm sure it'll get better."

"God, I hope so. Or else Mr. D.'s head is going to explode."

"You guys just need some more time."

"Mmm. Feels good," Adam sighs when Kris's fingers dig harder into his shirt.

Kris continues his ministrations, randomly moving his fingers and working off of Adam's reactions. He feels an amazing combination of pride and lust for being able to draw those sounds from Adam's mouth, little sighs and soft moans. He abruptly pulls away once he feels his jeans tighten uncomfortably, squirming in his seat and hoping Adam wouldn't notice.

Adam's forehead wrinkles at the loss of contact, but his eyes stay shut, still clutching Kris's hand to his chest. He's gorgeous like this, rumpled and a little clingy, the shock of brown hair messy on his head, thousands of freckles down his neck and arms, body sinuously twisted around Kris's. Kris feels a sharp jolt of possessiveness tug at his stomach, makes him want to claim, to mark him, climb into Adam's skin and live there. So he carefully lies down next to Adam, twisting around a little, fitting his body into Adam's curves, for once grateful for his size. Adam sighs happily when Kris's hand wraps around his waist and their legs tangle together.

Kris presses a soft kiss on Adam's nose. "Hi."

Adam opens his eyes, bright and gorgeous blue taking Kris's breath away. "Hi, love."

It's easy, natural, to tip his chin forward so he can tug on Adam's upper lip, to swallow Adam's sharp gasp in his mouth. He knows it now, how to move his lips the way Adam likes, anticipates Adam's tongue toying with his bottom lip, to use the very barest hint of teeth to make Adam squirm. Kissing is the best, Kris loves kissing, loves being close to Adam like this, loves Adam's hand twisted in his hair, holding him in place, like he's even thinking of being anywhere else right now. Adam's lips feel amazing, lovely and soft, the shape of it achingly familiar now.

Kris shudders when Adam's tongue strokes the roof of his mouth, when Adam's grip tightens in his hair, when Adam thrusts into his hip. His breath catches in his throat when they shift around and he feels the line of Adam's dick through their clothes, unmistakable, hot and hard against his thigh. The house is empty, they aren't in the backseat of a car anymore, and Kris suddenly feels an overwhelming burst of want, he's almost lightheaded with it.

This is new, Kris hitching his leg up and around Adam's waist, hips tilting just so. Adam lets out a broken moan, mouth going slack and gasping. His hand comes down to palm Kris's ass, shifting them a little more - and that, that's perfect, their erections lining up through their jeans, tearing a whine from Kris's throat. It's clumsy at first, but soon they find a rhythm, thrusting into each other, gasping and nipping at each other's mouths, neither of them capable of shaping their mouths to kiss. Kris's heel is digging into the back of Adam's knee, and Adam's hand is scrabbling up Kris's back, fingers searing points of heat into his skin, it's fantastic, their hips jerking, heat trapped between their bodies.

Adam's surrounding him, heavy and hot, and Kris is close, so close. Kris's hand drifts under Adam's shirt and up his back, feels the ripple of muscle working underneath soft, smooth skin; he gropes clumsily until his thumb brushes a nipple and Adam lets out the hottest, sexiest sound Kris has ever heard in his life. Kris does it again and again, pinching and rubbing, feels it pebble under his fingers, until suddenly Adam's muscles lock around him, thrusts turning quick and erratic, and - oh.

Kris just holds him through it, absorbs Adam's shudders into his body, listens to the hot gasping noises Adam makes, watches agony and bliss blend on Adam's face. Kris feels hot and cold all over, he's never been more overwhelmed in his life. He commits all of it to memory, he never wants to forget this single, perfect moment. He can't help but lean forward to cup Adam's cheek and kiss him, wanting to feel Adam's breathy moans against his lips, waits until Adam's recovered enough to kiss back, body going limp and boneless against his.

When they pull apart to breathe, Adam's blushing, eyes not quite meeting his. Kris smiles and tips his chin up. "Hey."

Adam's eyes fly to his briefly before he shakes his head and buries his face in Kris's neck. "Oh my God, Kris," he mumbles.

It takes all of Kris's self control to keep still, to stop his hips from moving, to take a second and talk. He concentrates on the texture of Adam's hair around his fingers, thick and beautiful. "That was totally hot."

Adam laughs. "I haven't come in my pants in years. Jesus."

Kris thinks it's probably wrong to feel a burst of pride at that, but whatever. "We'll take our pants off next time, then," he says, and Adam moans against him, hip shifting, lips latching on the sensitive skin of Kris's neck, and --

Kris can't help but fist at Adam's hair and thrust back, leg twisted around Adam's waist, foot digging at the back of his knee once again. "Oh, God. Come on, baby. Your turn," Adam whispers against his lips before giving him the dirtiest kiss of his life, mouth open and tongue working. Kris's thrusts become erratic and Adam pushes back against him, finding a rhythm, going hard and fast. Kris is close again, feels like his brain has flown away from his skull, just, he needs just a little more --

He pushes up on his knees and Adam immediately shifts on his back, hands squeezing his ass and murmuring "yeah, come on," eyes dark and staring intently at him, mouth open. Kris braces his hands on either side of Adam's head, shameless, thrusting frantically. Adam's voice and hands and the feel of Adam's body underneath him - it's all his, Adam offering himself up, he'd made Adam come, jeez - Kris lets all of that wash over him as he moves, and he feels the orgasm from the base of his spine, white hot and overwhelming. Adam surges upward to kiss him through it, swallowing his whimpers, hands strong and steady against his.

Kris slumps into Adam, arms shaking from exertion. Adam gently tips them both sideways and crowds Kris into the back of the couch. His touches are gentle, lips dropping small kisses all over his face.

They're quiet for a long time, just kissing and petting. Kris can't stop himself from reaching out to touch every bit of skin he can reach, and is just about to open his mouth to ask Adam to take off his shirt when suddenly a tell-tale rumble sounds out from Adam's stomach.

"Oops."

Kris laughs and kisses him again, feeling light and giddy, Adam's touch heavy on his skin. He imagines dozens, hundreds of afternoons just like this, talking and laughing and making out, being together, finally, after wanting it so badly for so long. Kris feels the idea settle heavy and warm in his heart, feels his skin buzzing, joy pouring out of him in waves. He hopes Adam feels it too.

He sits up and straddles Adam again. "Bet you're not tired anymore," Kris smirks.

Adam rolls his eyes playfully and sits up to wrap his arms around Kris's waist. "Feed me," he murmurs into Kris's neck.

His arms squeeze around Adam in a hug, and Kris loves this too, just holding Adam close, feeling his heartbeat, the world quiet around them. He noses at Adam's hair and breathes. "Yeah. Yeah, okay. Can we change first, though?"

Adam chuckles against him. "Yes, please."

\---

Kris tugs on Adam's hand and they stumble up the stairs and into Kris's room. Adam leans on the edge of the desk and smirks at him.

"What?" Kris asks, wary.

"You cleaned up."

Kris gazes around the room, taking in the visible floor, the neat stack of books and papers on the desk, the full laundry basket. "I don't know what you mean."

Adam guffaws. "I know you, Kristopher. You cleaned up. You cleaned up for me," he coos, eyes widening in delight. "Oh my God, you were totally planning to take me up here and seduce me."

Kris feels a blush rise up his cheeks, but he just rolls his eyes and marches to his closet. "Can't seduce the willing," he mutters. He stands back to examine the contents, trying to figure out what he can lend Adam, when suddenly a pair of arms wrap around him from behind. He happily leans into the embrace, hums when Adam rests his chin on his head. Kris feels steady and warm, standing like this, in his bedroom - with his boyfriend, wow - like they've done it a thousand times before.

"Is this weird?"

"What's weird?"

"This," Kris answers vaguely, rubbing at Adam's arms. "Us. Together."

"Not at all," Adam murmurs into his temple. "It's... nice."

"Nice?" Kris turns around and raises an eyebrow at him. "That's it?"

Adam beams at him and leans down to kiss him gently. It's soft and sweet, and Kris wants more. Always more. "It's awesome." Another kiss. "Mindblowing." Another. "Fucking hot." And Kris is being pulled to his toes, Adam's mouth forceful and unyielding, and Kris lets himself be carried away by it, ready and willing to go wherever Adam wants to go.

"Good," Kris murmurs, taking a second to breathe, pushing up on his toes to press a kiss on Adam's forehead. "Because I don't know if you know this, but I like you kind of a lot."

"I really like you kind of a lot too," Adam breathes into the space between them. "And not just because you're sexy as all hell," he adds as an afterthought.

Kris feels himself blush. "Stop."

"No, seriously. God," Adam says, hands squeezing Kris's waist. "You on the couch? That's going to fuel all my wet dreams for years, baby." He pulls away a little, hot gaze dragging from the top of Kris's head down to his toes, and back up again. Kris boldly meets Adam's eyes, the slight burn of embarrassment quickly replaced by a familiar curl of want. He feels daring and safe at the same time, the ghost of Adam's touch, Adam writhing under him, Adam, Adam, Adam, effortlessly tearing away any kind of shame.

"Mmm, you don't get to be embarrassed either," Kris says, sucking a kiss into Adam's neck, grinning wickedly at Adam's answering shudder.

"Okay," Adam says, tilting his head, wordlessly asking for more.

Kris's lips move up a couple inches, and he feels Adam's knees buckle. Awesome. "Good," Kris murmurs, memorizing that spot. "So when can we do it again?"

Adam laughs and turns his head for a small kiss. "You're amazing."

Kris kisses back, teasing, one hand stealing a quick grope of Adam's ass. "Now's a good time for me, just saying." His other hand drifts up to brush at Adam's nipple through his shirt. Adam bucks against him, and Kris relishes the feeling, loving that he could make Adam feel this way, that he's slowly but surely learning Adam's body and what Adam likes. He swallows Adam's moan and tilts his chin so they can deepen the kiss.

"You play dirty," Adam gasps, gripping the base of his neck. "I want you so much." Another kiss, soft this time.

"I want you too," Kris says as he presses himself closer, pushes up on his toes and wraps his arms around Adam's neck. It's amazing, how all of his thoughts just instantly fly out of his brain, how Adam can so easily weave this hot, heavy spell around him. When Adam makes a choked noise in his throat and hauls him closer, Kris happily takes that as a sign that he basically does the same thing to Adam.

It's barely been three days, but kissing Adam is almost second nature now, it isn't something Kris has to think about. Their bodies slot together easily, lips moving in concert, the heat pooled in Kris's stomach building and building. The bed is _right there_ , and Kris has thought about this so many times, dreamed about it, him and Adam and all the things they could do on it.

Before Kris can tug Adam backward, Adam pulls away with a soft gasp. Kris's fingers come up to trace Adam's lips, gaze lingering at the freckles there. He'd always wondered how they would feel like, taste like, if the dots of brown are raised, if he could feel them if he flicked his tongue on Adam's lips. They aren't, and Kris can't, but he imagines it anyway, pressing forward to take another taste.

Adam kisses him back, slow and soft, thumb sliding up and down his neck. The simple, possessive touch makes Kris shiver. He pulls away and follows the freckles down Adam's neck, enthusiastically licking and sucking, tugging Adam's shirt downward to line kisses along Adam's collarbone.

Adam sighs, breath ruffling Kris's hair. Kris slowly makes his way back up on the other side of Adam's neck, swirling his tongue, taking his tume until Adam tugs him back up to kiss his lips. Kris delves his hand in Adam's hair, mindlessly toying with it until they have to pull away for air.

They stare at each other for a long moment, and Adam keeps himself bent, lips still touching.

"You're perfect," Adam breathes.

Kris smiles lazily, fingers trailing down the side of Adam's face. "So are you," he says, and he kisses Adam again, nipping at his lips. That's when Kris figures the bed can probably wait, that there's time for it later, and this is just really really nice. So he pulls away, grabs Adam's hand and tugs him closer to the closet. "Pick something so I can feed you."

Adam just stands there and blinks for a couple seconds, eyes glazed. "What?"

"Clothes, babe," Kris laughs into Adam's shoulder. "Sweatpants okay?"

Adam nods dopily as Kris hands him the biggest pair he can find. Kris takes hold of Adam's shoulders and pushes him into the bathroom.

"I'll be in the kitchen. Don't injure yourself," Kris says, feeling a little smug. He figures he's allowed; he'd just rendered Adam speechless, after all.

\---

Adam eventually makes it to the kitchen, barefoot and grinning. Kris grins back and pushes him onto a chair, pouring a tall glass of water before sitting down. "Eat."

Adam just looks at him for a split second then pulls his chair closer, ducking down for a quick kiss. "Thank you," Adam says before picking up his fork and digging in.

Kris smiles at the appreciative noises Adam makes as he eats, pulls Adam's free hand for a kiss and then cradling it between his. "There's more where that came from, so just ask."

It's nice, to be able to do something like this for Adam, to make Adam feel a little better after the long day he's had. Kris just watches him avidly, happy to observe the miracle of him, sitting in Kris's kitchen, eating Kris's food, hanging out like he's done a dozen other times. Everything's the same yet different - it's more, _better_ , and when Adam pauses to raise a questioning eyebrow at him, he just shakes his head and leans in.

 _This will never get old_ , Kris thinks as Adam's mouth opens at the press of his tongue, lips moving slowly against his, arm coming around to grip his waist. It's still so new, and it strikes Kris no less than a dozen times a day - this is his, he's allowed this now, it's all his for the taking. Every time he's struck by the urge to touch or kiss or even just _look_ , he can, with no reason for secrecy or shame. And every time he does, Adam will just melt into his touch or happily kiss back or blush under his gaze. It's such a gift, and Kris feels humbled, grateful.

Kris stays tucked against Adam's side as Adam eats; he tells Adam about playing the guitar all morning, maybe writing out a song or two soon.

"Yeah?" Adam pauses, smiling at him. There's a bit of sauce on his chin and Kris licks it away.

"It's... not much, but it's there in my head, y'know? I figure I should try, see where it goes."

"You definitely should. You know music, you've been playing for a while. Maybe it's time to take the next step," Adam says.

Kris nods. "Exactly."

"Dibs on first listen," Adam grins before taking the last bite.

Kris watches Adam chew, and he feels like he's melting under Adam's soft, encouraging gaze. "Yeah, of course," he whispers as he tucks his face into Adam's neck. "You're first everything."

When Adam finishes the glass of water, he wraps his arms around Kris, warm and tight. They sit there for a long time, murmuring conversation, until Kris stands and tugs Adam back upstairs.

\---

When they slip back into Kris's room, Adam's phone is buzzing on top of the desk. Adam picks it up and Kris tugs him down to sit on the bed.

"Mom? What's up?" Kris crawls to the headboard and pulls Adam along. Adam wraps his arm around Kris as he rests his cheek on Adam's chest and closes his eyes, listening to the light rumble of Adam's voice, smiling when Adam's fingers card through his hair.

"Okay. Yeah, in an hour. See you." Adam reaches over to drop his phone on the dresser before tugging Kris down to lie sideways on the bed. It takes about a minute of shifting and wiggling to find a comfortable cuddling position, and Kris ends up sprawled half on top of Adam, their legs tangled together. Adam's hand immediately latches back on to Kris's hair.

Kris sighs happily. "What did she say?"

"Neil's school thing was cancelled, so I'll just go home from here," Adam says, fingers still working.

"Do you know where you're going tonight?"

"It's dad's turn to pick, so I'm sure we'll end up eating bizarre Ethiopian food or whatever." Adam smiles. "It'll be awesome. Or maybe a disaster. But that's okay."

Kris traces Adam's lips with his fingertips. "It's your dad. I'm sure it'll be cool."

"Yeah. I'm telling him about you tonight."

Kris raises his eyebrows and moves his fingers down to Adam's neck, tracing random patterns on the light dusting of freckles there. "You haven't yet?"

"I wanted to say it in person," Adam says, wrinkling his nose. "Too sappy?"

"Nah, it's sweet." Kris kisses him lightly. "You think he'll say anything?"

"Well, he knows something's been going on. Neil always brought it up because he knows it'll score an easy blush," Adam rolls his eyes. "I dunno, maybe he'll start teasing me too, now that it's all official."

"Will he call me up, ask what me about my intentions?"

Adam's laugh is loud and sudden, and it makes Kris smile. He splays his hand on Adam's chest to feel it move. "You know what, he just might." Adam kisses his nose. "And what will you say?"

"I only have the purest of intentions toward your son, sir," Kris says evenly, eyes narrowed and voice gone deep. He can maintain his serious look for just a couple of seconds before he breaks, giggling into Adam's mouth. "That's a total lie."

Adam kisses him through his laughter, one hand tucking into Kris's back pocket. "I hope so. Pure is the last thing I want you to be," Adam murmurs as he squeezes Kris's ass and starts to kiss him deeper. Kris sighs, feeling dreamy, wraps his arms around Adam's neck and opens his mouth further. He feels Adam groan against him when he delves his hand in Adam's hair, nails scratching the scalp. Kris just closes his eyes and lets himself feel, the light scratch of stubble against his chin, Adam's fingers flexing on his back, Adam's foot moving back and forth over his.

Long minutes pass with them just kissing, mouths going dry and lips going numb. Eventually they just lie there facing each other, hands ghosting over soft skin.

Kris's fingertips find their way back to Adam's lips. He just can't get enough. "Busy tomorrow?" Adam asks.

"Church. History paper. And worksheets for chem," Kris murmurs.

"Come over," Adam says, fingers digging into Kris's spine. "Do it at my house."

"Yeah? You don't mind?"

Adam rolls his eyes fondly and smiles. "Of course not. I wanna see you."

"Not sick of me yet?"

Adam narrows his eyes and holds Kris's face in his hands. "I'm never gonna get enough of you," Adam whispers achingly before drawing him into a soft, slow kiss. Kris's heart stutters in his chest, and he pulls Adam close, twists his hand in Adam's hair.

Being around Adam makes him feel safe, like he can say anything out loud. "Me neither. I miss you so much when you're not around."

Adam pushes their foreheads together. "I know. Me too."

"I want you with me. Always."

"Right back at you, baby."

\---

"Call me," Kris says, hoping he doesn't sound too needy, trying to pretend that he's just smoothing down Adam's shirt and definitely not fighting the urge to tug Adam back inside the house.

Adam just grins at him, and basically, Kris knows he's busted. "After dinner, yes," Adam says as he presses Kris into the side of the car.

Kris absently curls their fingers together. And God, yeah, he wants nothing more than to make Adam stay a little longer. "Good," is all he can think of to say.

"And I'll see you tomorrow," Adam says, voice firm. It makes Kris smile.

"Yes. Your house, after church. To, um, study. And stuff," Kris answers, eyebrows raised.

Adam smiles wickedly and leans forward, murmuring "lots and lots of other stuff" before catching Kris's lips in a deep kiss. Kris is more than happy to give in, letting himself be pressed almost painfully up against the car, Adam's lips hot and insistent and knowing.

They part with a gasp, holding on to each other as they try to catch their breath. Kris noses into Adam's shoulder, breathing in deep, willing himself to remember this afternoon, all of it, keep it with him all through the night, let it sustain him until they see each other again. The night will be lonely, he knows, but there are so many more amazing moments to look forward to, now. The universe seems more infinite than ever before, opening up to them, together, just waiting for them to discover everything they are, everything they can be.

It's going to be an amazing adventure.

 

* * *

 

 **say them loudly**

 

Adam's phone buzzes in his hand. He's so surprised, he drops it on his lap as soon as it starts vibrating.

  
_**Kris:** Walking! I have pie_   


He feels the most ridiculous grin spread on his face and a familiar flutter start in his stomach. It's his default reaction whenever he knows he's about to get Kris live in the flesh, get to see his face and hold him and kiss him.

It's been the most amazing week of his life, basically, and when he gets up to open the door, he has the strongest feeling that this one is going to be even better.

Adam flings the door open and takes a beat to take Kris in - faded Beatles shirt, sweatpants, sneakers, backpack slung on both shoulders and a manic grin on his face. The bright afternoon sun is glinting off his hair, making it look lighter than it really is. Absolutely perfect.

It's a reflex, now, to step right into Kris's space and lean forward to claim a kiss. Kris's lips are unbelievably soft under his, so warm and pliant. Adam can't help but let out a soft little sigh and cup Kris's cheek in his palm, edging closer until the length of their bodies are pressed together. He didn't know how much he's missed this until it was given back to him: Kris's hitching breaths, the warmth of Kris's skin, the overwhelming joy he feels every time he gets to touch, to kiss.

Kris makes it easy to forget everything else, and Adam has no idea how long they stand there in the open doorway, making out and grinning at each other like lunatics. When Adam just has to pull away to catch his breath, he pulls Kris into a tight hug. It stuns him a little, how easily their bodies slot together - how Kris fits in Adam's arms like he's always belonged there, like they've been doing this forever.

"You smell nice," Kris sighs into his neck, and Adam can distantly feel both of Kris's hands fist on his shirt.

Adam smiles into Kris's hair, a little sheepish. "Yeah, I got out of the shower like half an hour ago."

Kris plants his chin on Adam's chest and raises his eyebrows.

Adam just laughs lightly and kisses him, soft and sweet. "Sundays are my lazy days. You don't get to judge."

Kris's eyes flutter shut and he leans up, murmuring "no, I love it" against Adam's lips and initiates another kiss, long and slow and deep. Adam groans when Kris's hand slides into Adam's back pocket - it hasn't even been a full day since they last saw each other, but seriously, he's _missed_ this. It's been too long. And normally this is a train of thought that will make him balk, make him think twice about just what he's getting into. Instead all he wants to do is reach out for more.

Kris shivering under a light breeze is the only reason Adam drags him inside, rubbing his hands to warm them up. They make their way to the living room where his mom's settled on the couch, remote in hand.

"Mom, Kris and I are gonna study in my room, okay?"

His mom looks up at them and smiles. "Sure. Hi, Kris."

"Hey, Leila," Kris answers easily. "Mama says hi, too. And she packed this up for you." Kris untangles his fingers from Adam's and reaches into his backpack, taking out a Tupperware container.

"Kim is too nice," his mom says as she gets up to take it from Kris. "Tell her thank you for me, and that we need to get together soon."

"Yeah, of course." They all stand there for a few awkward seconds before Adam grabs Kris's hand and walks them both out of the room.

"We'll be upstairs, mom!" Adam calls out over his shoulder.

\---

It feels like a momentous moment, leading Kris into his room for the first time since they got together. Adam leans on the edge of his desk and watches Kris pause to take it all in - the cluttered mess, the posters, the huge closet, the bed. Kris carefully lays his backpack on Adam's desk chair before stepping between Adam's knees, chin tilted thoughtfully. Adam wraps his arms around Kris and laces his fingers together on Kris's back, just looking.

"I like what you've done with the place," Kris says playfully.

Adam wrinkles his nose. "You think you're funny."

Kris laughs and kisses his chin, arms coming up around his neck. "I think I'm hilarious."

"You keep telling yourself that."

They're quiet for a little bit, just holding each other, enjoying the privacy of Adam's room.

"How was dinner with your dad?" Kris asks soon after he starts rubbing circles on Adam's back.

Adam smiles in remembrance. "It was good. We had Greek food, in that restaurant the next town over? It was a little weird, but fun."

"Your dad's doing good?"

"Yeah, his work's keeping him busy. And he says he's writing, too, when he has free time. I think it's awesome."

"Oh cool," Kris says, pulling away a little to meet his eyes. "Do you miss him?"

Adam sighs. "Sometimes I still wake up in the morning and expect to find him in the kitchen, y'know, drinking his coffee and frowning at the paper. I'm still not totally used him not being here all the time. But I see him every week, we email, and he's there when I need him. I think we're even closer now, how screwed up is that?"

Kris's thumbs rub comfortably up and down Adam's neck. "I don't think it's screwed up. He'll always be in your life. You'll always be family."

"Yeah, I know. And I know this is what's best for all of us."

"That's good. You should talk to them, though, if you feel... weird, or whatever. I'm sure they'd want that. And you can talk to _me_ , too."

Adam smiles and trails his hand down the side of Kris's face. "I know. Thank you."

"That's what I'm here for," Kris smiles.

Adam cocks an eyebrow at him, challenging. "Speaking of which. My dad asked if you wouldn't mind coming to dinner with us."

Kris's eyes widen in surprise, but he doesn't look scared or nervous at the prospect. "Really? Like, next week?"

"No, not that soon. Maybe in a couple months, though."

"Oh, then - sure, yeah, no problem. Just gimme a heads up and I'll clear it with my parents," Kris says easily, cuddling back into Adam's chest. "That'll be nice. I miss seeing your dad around."

Adam sighs happily and nuzzles at Kris's hair. "You're pretty awesome."

"I know, right?" Kris answers. Adam pinches his arm. "Ow, stop it!" he cries but doesn't pull away.

"You're so smug."

"Only when I'm around you," Kris says as he slowly kisses up Adam's neck, mouth hot and wet and perfect.

Adam groans and captures Kris's lips in a dirty kiss, both hands drifting down to cup Kris's ass, squeezing hard as Kris hungrily sucks on his tongue. Kris is squirming, trapped in Adam's arms, nails scraping Adam's scalp. Kris is such a good kisser, damn, but Adam wants more, wants to climb into Kris's skin, plaster himself in and around and all over, and he's about to push them both toward his big, empty, _waiting_ bed when a loud crash from next door startles them apart.

"Oh God, Neil's home," Adam mutters as he stands up and pulls Kris to the bed before striding to the adjoining bathroom. He shuts the door on Neil's side and locks the one on his, checking it three times before going to lock his bedroom door as well.

Adam looks back at the bed and finds Kris reclining on the pillows, legs spread, arms crossed under his head like he's always belonged there. And he kind of always has - that's where Adam has spent many nights thinking about him, wishing for him, _aching_ to share it with him. Here he is, finally, everything Adam has ever wanted, his for the taking.

Despite his presumptuous pose, Kris's smile is shy. Adam just grins stupidly at him for a moment, enjoying the picture, and then pulls off his socks and crawls up the bed. He tucks his face in Kris's neck and breathes in deep, the familiar, uniquely-Kris smell simultaneously comforting and turning him on. Kris's hands run up and down his back, just holding him close, and it's fantastic.

"Hey, stranger," Kris murmurs after a few minutes of quiet hugging.

Adam smiles and scoots upward so they're sharing a pillow. "Hi, baby."

Kris's answering smile is brilliant and their next kiss is slow, almost unbearably sweet, as their mouths take little sips of each other, tasting. He can't stop himself from reaching out for Kris, can't quell the need to touch, to keep Kris close, and he feels a burst of exquisite pleasure in his chest when Kris reaches right back. Which he does, each and every time. Adam relishes the delicious jangle of nerves, he lives for the big, bright newness of it all, but at the same time, he idly wonders when it'll all be second skin, how long it'll be until they fit together without even having to think about it.

They certainly fit well enough right now, Adam thinks, when Kris rolls on his side and slides a knee between Adam's legs. Adam keeps his hand on Kris's face as they kiss, thumbs sliding right where their mouths meet, feeling with his hands how they move so well together. They are so, so very good at this, at anticipating each other's every move, mouths fluid and practiced even after just four days. It's everything Adam never even thought to want, never thought he could ever have, so incredibly addicting, and when Kris pulls away to breathe, Adam can't help the groan of protest that flies from his throat.

Kris just smiles knowingly at him, fingers petting his face, a little clumsy but sweet. Kris has the most beautiful hands, grip always soft but strong, the rough callouses on the tip of his fingers make Adam so pleasantly shivery.

In their moments of quiet, somehow they always end up like this - watching each other, Kris's fingers on Adam's lips and Adam's hand rubbing all along Kris's back. It's like they're covered in a big, warm blanket of silence and calm, lost in this little world that they share. In moments like this, Adam wonders how he ever felt lonely before, and he forgets bit by bit what life was like before Kris was in it. In moments like this, Adam can't be anything but awed and grateful for the miracle of this - of them - brought to his life.

Adam knows the smile on his face is bordering on ridiculous right now, but he's not embarrassed; he just keeps still, doesn't blush or duck his head because he wants Kris to see. Adam wants Kris to know everything he feels, everything he's thinking. He wishes he was good with words because there's so much to _say_ , there's so much he wants Kris to know, thousands upon thousands of words bubbling up under his skin, emotions he doesn't have words for, a kind of incandescent joy he doesn't know how to describe but wants to try anyway.

"Baby, I --" he starts, but all the words fly out of his head in the face of this glorious, extraordinary moment, perfect because they're sharing it.

Kris just looks at him, expectant, fingers still moving slowly all over his face - forehead, eyelids, cheeks, chin, the bow of his lips - reverent and achingly possessive. "Yeah?"

Adam screws his eyes shut and kisses Kris instead, lets his lips and tongue and hands say what he can't out loud. Kris sighs and hitches himself closer, thumbs caressing Adam's ears as he kisses back, languid and slow. It's perfect, Kris's nose pressed against his cheek, leg wrapped around his, tongue hot and insistent in his mouth. It's the best feeling in the world, holding Kris like this and indulging in each other. They could be trapped up here for days and it still won't be enough.

When he starts to feel a little lightheaded, Adam mouths at Kris's jaw, sucks at the soft skin of Kris's neck and tongues down the line of his throat, wondering dreamily of spending hours marking Kris all over. Cover him with marks so that all anyone needs to do is to look at him to know that he's Adam's. Adam's and nobody else's. Ever.

Adam swirls his tongue and sucks earnestly, grinning to himself when Kris moans and starts shaking in his arms. Kris tugs Adam further downward and Adam can't say no - doesn't want to - so he pulls at Kris's shirt and settles into forming a bruise right at the divot of Kris's collarbones. Kris gorgeously gives himself into Adam's touch, keeps making these breathy, encouraging noises, hand fisted in Adam's hair, and Adam is more than happy to stay in one spot.

After a few minutes, Adam leans back to inspect his handiwork, satisfied with skin all swollen and red, then growls and pins Kris to the bed.

"You're all mine," Adam whispers fiercely.

Kris opens his eyes and levels Adam with a glazed look. "Yes, yeah I am --"

It's like a switch is flicked, and their kisses take a turn from soft and sweet to hot and desperate, both of them scrabbling for skin, arching into each other.

"You drive me crazy," Adam gasps as he bites down on Kris's bottom lip, tugging it with his teeth. "Completely insane."

Kris doesn't answer and lets his hand do the talking, blindly raking down Adam's chest, his waist, all the way to the front of his jeans - Adam inhales sharply when Kris's fingers trace the line of his cock through the rough denim.

"Can I - I want --"

"Please," Adam says, so far gone, chest heaving as Kris flicks the button and pulls down the zipper, tugging insistently until Adam's pants and boxers are down to his thighs. Adam fights not to come the moment Kris touches him; tries to calm himself down and let himself feel it, Kris nipping hard at his lips, body draped over his, gorgeous, calloused hand wrapped around his cock and pumping so excruciatingly slowly.

Adam can't help but thrust into Kris's grip, can distantly hear his wrecked voice forming nonsense words, but all he knows right now is Kris, Kris's hands, Kris's touch, Kris's _voice_ \- "I want to see you come. Can you do that for me, babe? I want you to do it for me." - saying it over and over, whispering it in between hot and wet kisses on his lips and chin.

Kris is alternating his grip with every stroke - light, tight, light - thumbing his slit with every upstroke, and Adam doesn't understand how he has the presence of mind to do all of that when Adam feels like all his nerves are on fire. Sweat is breaking out on his forehead, and an unbearable, white-hot heat is pooling in his belly. Kris is gasping right along with him, sucking at his neck, and with one twist of Kris's wrist, Adam is _gone_ , coming all over Kris's hand and both their shirts. It's so much all at once, everything's gone white and blood is rushing in his ears, and it's like he's about to die of the most exquisite pleasure.

Adam doesn't know how much time passes before he comes back to himself, the most fantastic buzzing going on under his skin. He opens his eyes to Kris's breathtaking smile, lips soft and sweet on his cheek. Adam smiles back, giddy beyond belief, hand fisting in Kris's hair and pulling him in for a kiss. Kris's mouth immediately opens at the press of Adam's tongue, kissing back, hard.

They lose themselves in each other for long, long minutes, and Adam doesn't even need to think before tugging Kris's sweatpants off and running his fingers down Kris's cock, hot and hard and leaking at the tip. Adam starts out slow, swallowing Kris's impatient moans in his mouth, loving the weight of Kris in his hand, carefully thumbing at the vein right at the underside. Kris's hands are pulling hard at his hair, and Adam can feel the rise and fall of Kris's gasping, shuddery breaths right against his chest. Adam wants to tease Kris, make him _desperate_ for it, bring him to the brink and back, over and over and over until Kris is begging for it. He pumps slowly, keeps his grip light, revels in how Kris's entire body is calling out to him, at his mercy.

Then Kris's hand closes over Adam's, forcing it closed and tight on his cock; his teeth biting viciously on Adam's lips; gasping "please please please oh please" over and over --

Adam obliges, starts pumping hard and fast, keeping his rhythm in time with his lips sucking on Kris's tongue. He listens to Kris's moans, watches Kris writhe gorgeously on the bed, the entire line of Kris's body arching into Adam's touch. It's the hottest fucking thing Adam has ever seen in his life. "You're so beautiful, baby, you're _mine_ , all mine," Adam whispers into Kris's mouth, and soon after that, Kris's hands are fisting on the bedspread, eyes shut tight, keening as he comes in hot spurts.

Adam kisses Kris through the orgasm and after, feeling Kris's lips go slack against his and not even caring; he keeps jacking Kris's cock until Kris weakly pushes his hand away, over sensitized. Kris's body trembles in Adam's arms for a while, and Adam just tucks him close, more than happy to hold him through it.

When Adam can't ignore the mess anymore, he stumbles to the bathroom and grabs a washcloth. He wipes himself off and pulls on a ratty pair of boxers before crawling back to bed. Kris lets out a little whine and reaches for him immediately, tugging at his arms. Adam chuckles and manages to keep his distance as he cleans Kris up, a soft kind of tenderness clutching his heart at the gesture. Kris watches him with wide, dark eyes as he puts the washcloth away and carefully lifts Kris's legs to tug the sweatpants back on. When Adam bends down to kiss Kris's clothed hip, Kris unceremoniously splays his legs open and pulls Adam on top of him, arms wrapping tight around Adam's shoulders.

"Just... stay here," Kris whispers before pressing a kiss on Adam's ear.

"Not going anywhere, baby."

\---

Kris pouts in protest when Adam tries to roll off of him or even shift them on their sides; all he allows Adam to do is slide downward a little bit so Adam's chin can perch on Kris's belly.

"I'm crushing you," Adam says.

Kris's hands squeeze Adam's shoulders, holding him in place. "No, you're not."

"But you're teeny. We should switch."

"Babe, no." Kris bites his lip, but he's not quite able to stop the shy smile that twists his mouth so attractively. "I like it like this. Okay?"

Adam smiles back, and he feels like face is shining with wonder, like happiness is radiating from his skin. He's always believed that people emit their energy into their environment, and he thinks that right now, they're overloading the universe with their shared joy. "Yeah, okay."

It always happens when there's a lull in their conversation - even if neither of them are speaking, their bodies move like they have minds of their own; hands ghosting over skin, reaching out to touch, and they always end up twisted into each other. This time, Kris's hand makes its way into Adam's hair as his foot absently rubs the top of Adam's thigh. Adam's fingers draw patterns and nonsense words on Kris's chest and down his sides. Adam has always been a tactile person, but Kris is a thousand times worse than that - where Adam happily hugs or cuddles when the opportunity arises, Kris _demands_ them. They'd grown up with it, and now they're all very much used to Kris just walking up and wrapping his arms around them, snuggling into their sides, perching his chin on their shoulders. Adam found it hilarious and endearing before, but it's pretty much the most glorious thing between them right now, getting to touch as much and as often as he wants, reveling in every gesture.

"Is it weird that I really missed you?" Kris asks.

Adam fights a moan when Kris's nails start to scratch at Adam's scalp. "You did?"

"Yeah. I mean, I know I just saw you yesterday, but it just feels like it was a long time."

"You're sweet."

"Really? You don't think it's a little stalkery?"

Adam giggles helplessly into Kris's shirt and Kris just smiles at him, eyes warm. "Well if you're a stalker, I'm a stalker too."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm. I missed you, too."

Kris grins, sweet and a little aching. "Well, then. Stalk me any time."

"Well, since you asked," Adam jokes. He pauses for a few beats, and then - "I always want to be around you."

"Me, too."

Adam runs his hands up under Kris's shirt, touch gentle. "I don't like when you're not with me," he admits with no fear at all.

"Well then, we're just gonna have to make sure that doesn't happen too often."

\---

"I hate to do this, baby, but..." Adam starts.

Kris just looks at him, puzzled.

"I know you brought homework to do. I have a book I need to finish by tomorrow, and I'm not even halfway yet," Adam says with a slight frown. "As much as I wish we could blow all that off for more of this -" he kisses Kris's stomach - "I think we... shouldn't."

Kris smiles wickedly and plants his foot on the bed, using his hips to flip them both over. He scoots down to drop quick kisses all over Adam's face before pressing Adam's mouth open with his tongue and curling his leg around Adam's waist. Adam lets out a noise of surprise before wholeheartedly giving in to the sweet assault, hands tracing up and down the lovely curve of Kris's ass.

Their kisses slow down eventually, until they're just exchanging playful, teasing pecks as they grin stupidly at each other. Soon after that, Kris gets up and pulls his stuff out of his backpack - a laptop, two books, and a few pages of torn off notebook paper. He looks back at the bed, unsure.

"Are you gonna use your desk?" he asks.

"No, but I'm not letting you use it either," Adam says, sitting up and squinting at Kris.

Kris raises his eyebrows. "Um. What?"

Adam grabs his copy of _Catch-22_ from the shelf and picks up Kris's pile of stuff, then he nudges Kris's ankle with his foot. "Move."

Kris just looks more and more confused by the second. "What are you doing?"

"Sit," Adam says as he puts all of their stuff on the middle of the bed and starts fluffing his pillows, heaping them up against the headboard one by one.

"Oh. I always fall asleep when I do my homework in bed."

Adam settles on the left side and grins at Kris sunnily. "That's why I'm here. Come sit."

Kris crawls in next to him, smiling. "I like this plan."

"You're lucky your boyfriend's smart," Adam says with a wink. "Do your thing and I'll do mine."

While Kris waits for his laptop to boot up, Adam flicks his book open and starts to read. Normally he wouldn't be so diligent about his homework, but this film elective - especially under this particular teacher - has been his favorite subject all semester, and he doesn't want to half-ass any of the work that they've been given. And, he admits, there's a certain kind of accomplishment in turning in something he'd worked hard on, something he can be proud of.

After a couple minutes, Adam hears Kris murmur "oh, shoot" and the bed shifts when he stands. Adam marks his place on the page and looks up to find Kris clambering back next to him, this time wearing glasses. Adam's stomach drops.

"Oh my God, seriously?" Adam mutters before tugging on Kris's shirt, pulling him into a deep kiss. He sighs the frames press lightly on his face, splays his hands on Kris's cheeks so he can feel the arms curve into Kris's ears. It takes a great effort to not let himself get too carried away; Adam may need to rethink this whole studying together thing.

"What was that for?" Kris murmurs against his chin when he pulls away. "Not that it wasn't awesome."

Adam huffs a laugh and presses a kiss on Kris's cheek. "Boys in glasses are kind of a weakness of mine."

He expects Kris to laugh it off and maybe preen a little bit, but Kris just looks at him thoughtfully, soft lines forming on his forehead. "So just me, then," Kris says after a few beats of silence, strangely serious.

Adam's heart stutters in his chest. He carefully frames Kris's face with his hands. "Just you, baby. Nobody else."

Kris kisses him, and this time it's excruciatingly slow, tongue exploring every inch of Adam's mouth, tasting. Possessing. Adam sighs and falls into it, lets Kris claim him, mark territory. Kris takes his time, and it's absolutely maddening, the heady mix of being teased and being conquered. They're both panting when they finally part, and Adam's a little shocked to find Kris practically humping his thigh and that both his hands made their way under Kris's shirt.

Kris sits up and plants himself fully on Adam's lap, gaze piercing. "Mine," he murmurs before kissing Adam again, a sweet little peck.

"Always," Adam says, taking a minute to hold Kris, feel Kris's heartbeat against his chest. He could spend days like this, just holding Kris close, breathing each other in. Kris's arms are awkward around his neck, but it's okay, the moment is still perfect.

After a little while, Adam sighs and lets him go, adjusting the frames on Kris's nose. "That's gonna be so distracting. Oh, man."

Kris grins, cheeky. "You're gonna have to get used to it, babe." Kris swings off Adam's lap and settles next to him, shoulders pressed up against his. Adam watches, unseeing, as Kris click around the laptop for a full minute before he can shake off the haze of want clouding his brain.

"History, right?"

"Yeah, I started last night, just gotta fill two more pages," Kris mumbles.

Adam picks up his book and easily falls back into the story, the distant sound of Kris tapping on his keyboard comforting, Kris's warmth somehow grounding him. He's spent years of his life hunched on his desk because like Kris, he'd always fall asleep when he tried to do homework in bed. It was always the best reward, crawling onto his pillows after a long night of work. As he grew up, he started longing for something else - he started feeling so piercingly lonely as he lay in bed. For most of his adolescence, he'd imagined a phantom touch laying across his back or burrowing into his front, holding or being held, it didn't matter as long as he wasn't alone anymore. He'd clutch at his pillows and burrow into blankets, but it never quelled the intense, nameless ache that gripped his chest.

And here beside him, now, he has the real thing. Not just a placeholder for some fantasy, but _Kris_ , bright and funny and sweet and his. Adam lifts his arm and curls it loosely around Kris's shoulder, smiling to himself when Kris just sighs and nestles into his side. He can't quite angle himself to be as close as possible because Kris needs full use of both arms, but it's more than enough.

Adam keeps reading, easily getting through the next couple dozen pages, surprised that he's actually enjoying himself. He doesn't even realize that he's been rubbing his thumb all along the curve of Kris's neck until Kris grabs his hand and kisses it before patting it, wordlessly asking him to stop. After maybe half an hour of more reading, Kris does it again, murmuring "tickles, babe" into his shoulder, almost apologetic.

"Sorry, baby, didn't realize I was doing it."

Kris just smiles at him, eyes glittering, his chin tipped up for a kiss. "It's okay."

There are hardly any more distractions after that. Kris puts his laptop away about an hour later and starts working on some worksheets for chem. Kris turns sideways and Adam wraps an arm around his waist, hand careful not to move too much. Adam just continues reading all the way through it, shifting a little when his legs start to go numb, only pausing for a few minutes when his eyes start to hurt. When that happens, all he has to do is close his eyes, tilt his head a few inches and bury his face in Kris's hair while he waits for the irritation to pass.

Adam is very aware of Kris's presence the entire time, but somehow it's not a distraction at all. Maybe it's because they'd gotten off earlier on and so the urge wasn't as immediate. Maybe it's because they'd gotten their fill of kissing for the time being. Adam pushes that line of reasoning away, though - the burn of want in his gut, his _desire_ for Kris is always there, steady and strong, no matter how many minutes or hours it's been since they'd touched or kissed. Adam wants Kris with the same intensity right after orgasm as when they've spent half a day apart. It's always just _there_ , even as they curl into each other and study.

Adam likes to think that they can stay focused even as they're pressed up against each other, able to turn the burning intensity down to a content hum because they both know very well that they can take all the time they need. They're not losing precious minutes or hours that could be spent doing something better because there _isn't_ anything better when they're doing it together. It's convoluted and cheesy and Adam probably won't ever say it out loud, but that's how he feels. No matter what he's doing with Kris - making out, having sex, studying, talking, driving, watching paint dry - it's all the same, it's perfect, there's no _more_ to it than that.

\---

It's time for Kris to go, and Adam tries not to pout as he packs up his stuff.

"I would've lent you my laptop, you know. You didn't have to lug yours all the way here."

Kris swings his backpack on both shoulders and looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't - I don't know why I didn't think to ask."

"You should've," Adam answers, mock-sternly.

"We'll coordinate better next time," Kris says as he grabs Adam's hand. "Thank you for having me."

Adam just laughs and pulls him downstairs. They peek in the kitchen to say goodbye to Adam's mom.

Kris picks up their Tupperware container from the counter and says, "Good night, Leila. Thanks for letting me stay."

Adam's mom kisses Kris's cheek and squeezes his arm fondly. "Bye, hon. Next time you come over, you're staying for dinner, okay?"

"Promise."

\---

Kris had protested loudly when Adam offered ("it's not even two blocks away, jeez, you don't have to drive me, seriously"), but Adam insisted. So there they were, sitting in Adam's car, parked right in front of Kris's house. They're both curled sideways in their seats, holding hands. Adam is nowhere near ready to say goodnight.

"Will I see you tomorrow morning?" Adam asks.

"I'm gonna try really hard to drag Daniel out of the house early enough," Kris muses. "No promises, though. I'll definitely see you at lunch."

Adam frowns. "That's too far away."

Kris kisses Adam's knuckles one by one. "I know. Come over tomorrow night? Have dinner here. Do you know how late you can stay?" Kris asks, all in a rush. There's no hesitation in it, no shyness, and beyond all reason, it takes Adam's breath away.

"Yes, also yes, and my curfew's eleven on weekdays. We can make that work," Adam says, and the promise of the next night (and maybe the next, and the one after that, and after that, too) buoys him, makes this separation a little bit easier to bear. Adam wonders if there will ever come a time where their time together will be _enough_ , or maybe even _too much_. He doesn't think it's possible.

It's the perfect end to a pretty amazing day, standing under the light of the half moon, pressing Kris into the wood of the front door, kissing him goodnight. Later that night, Adam falls asleep in his bed that smells of Kris, feeling cherished and content and energized, so ready to face the week ahead.


	3. the story so far

 

 **turn the night into the day**

 

Sometimes Adam can't quite believe this is his life.

He's spent more than a little time lost in his own head, thinking about what it would be like to live his life the way he wants - to be free and open and completely secure in himself and his choices. What it would be like to live and breathe art and music, to be content and happy and not feel like anything in his life is missing.

Adam isn't quite there yet, but sitting on his bed with Kris, surrounded by books and notes, birds chirping outside and the sun streaming in through the half-open blinds - well. It's just about as close to bliss as he can get.

Except - maybe he can get a _little_ bit closer.

Kris is just in his shirt and boxers, Adam having had the pleasure of taking his jeans off him about fifteen seconds after Kris had bounded through the door. They'd planned on spending the day studying for the last set of midterms they're ever taking in their entire high school career, but their moment of reunion after more than a handful of hours apart always gets a little frantic. They fooled around for more than an hour - hands gripping and legs locking; arms twined as close as they can get, kisses sloppy and deep as they got each other off; touches turning slow and almost reverent in the afterglow, Adam looming over Kris, pressed all up against each other, lips landing on every inch of skin within reach.

Eventually - and not without a little overdramatic pouting from Adam - Kris put on his clothes ("we can't study _naked_ , Adam") and dragged his duffel bag from where he'd dropped it just inside Adam's door. When he pulled out a pile of notes along with his huge APUSH textbook, Adam knew fun times were over. Adam rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh and pulled on his shirt and boxers too, and went over to his desk to get his calc book.

They've studied together dozens of times over the last year - more often than not it was a pretense so they can spend hours locked in their rooms, but they weren't completely irresponsible, and Kris had to get into college to be able to leave for New York with Adam - so they slide into routine easily, settling into their respective sides of the bed and into their books.

Adam manages to concentrate long enough to get through two calc problems before he feels Kris's eyes on him.

Adam raises his eyebrow. "You keep doing that, I'm gonna have to charge admission."

"Liar. I'm your favorite customer," Kris drawls back cheekily.

"Eh. I've had better."

Kris's nose crinkles adorably as he laughs like Adam just said the most ridiculous thing ever. Adam feels his heart clench a little as a devastating kind of warmth spreads through his chest. Kris's giggling dies down as he catches something in Adam's eye.

He reaches his arm across the bed, runs his hand through Kris's hair and down to his cheek. Kris closes his eyes and turns into the touch, kissing Adam's palm.

"Liar. You love me best," Kris murmurs. His eyes are open now, bright and shining, and Adam's entire universe closes in on this, just the two of them, this cheesily domestic moment on his messy childhood bed, and everything Adam feels for Kris just rushes up underneath his skin, pushing to get out.

"I really do," Adam chokes out. He leans forward to drop a kiss on Kris's forehead, then leans down and catches Kris's lower lip between his teeth. Kris _hmm_ s and and slides his hand on Adam's neck, holding him tight as he opens his mouth further. The kiss feels slow, endless, all lips and tongue and all the time in the world.

Adam swipes his tongue on the roof of Kris's mouth one last time before he pulls away, breaths coming out harsh, almost gasping. "If you keep doing that, we're going to have problems. I really can't fail calc, babe."

Kris snorts out a laugh and taps Adam's nose. "Yeah yeah, back to the books. Behaving now, promise."

Kris plants a quick kiss on his cheek, then on his lips, and finally settles back on his stomach and his book. He's all kinds of distracting, sprawled all along the right side of the bed, forehead wrinkled as he murmurs to himself. Adam smiles ruefully and leans against the headboard, legs all stretched out, hip flush against the edge of Kris's book. Adam wills himself to focus, and continues to read.

A few minutes pass, then suddenly Adam feels Kris pick up his left hand and lace their fingers together. One glance at his face tells Adam that Kris's full concentration is still on his book, and he has to grin at the mindless gesture of affection. He rubs his thumb on Kris's knuckles.

Their fingers stay locked together; both of them manage their books and notes one-handed. More than half a chapter has run by Adam when he feels Kris plant a kiss on his hand and carefully lay it back on the covers. Adam vaguely feels the bed shift as Kris gets up to rummage around his duffel. He takes a moment to appreciate the view of Kris's ass wiggling in the air before dragging his attention back to his book.

Kris comes back to the bed with a folder in his hand, and leans on the headboard, pressing himself right up against Adam. Adam shifts around to accommodate him, lifts his knees and balances his notebook on them, starting in on some more sample problems. He breezes through the first few, but there's a tricky one he can't quite get past when Kris's hand suddenly comes out of nowhere and grabs the pen Adam had started to tap noisily against his leg. Kris leans in and messily scrawls a correction on the margin, and suddenly everything makes sense again. Adam just has to duck down after that, pressing a wet kiss on Kris's cheek in gratitude. Kris lets out a happy murmur and nudges Adam's shoulder - a not-so-subtle hint that he wants to be cuddled - so Adam obligingly lifts his arm and winds it around his small form. Adam cups Kris's hip with his hand and absently rubs circles under his shirt, all while he powers through the rest of the calc questions.

This goes on for another three hours, the two of them shifting and sliding on the bed, focused on what they were doing yet inexorably linked, whether it be their knees bumping together; Adam's head on Kris's lap; pinkies linked as they work on Physics problems; bare feet pressed on top of one another when they relocate to the kitchen for a quick snack.

It's completely dark outside when Adam slams his Lit book with a decisive snap. "Okay, I'm seriously done for the day, my brain feels like it's melting."

Kris peers up at him from his sprawl on Adam's beanbag chair. "Migraine coming in, babe? You need me to get your meds?"

"No, just tired." Adam rolls on his stomach and lays his head on his arms. "You're not done yet? Get up here. I miss you."

Kris rolls his eyes but sets his notes aside and slides in next to him. "You're a sap."

Adam just smiles as he drops a kiss on his shoulder, then his ear, rolling him over and draping his body on top of his, murmurs into his lips, "You love it."

Their kiss starts out as playful and sweet; it builds and builds and builds. Kris pushes them up and forward until Adam is sitting against the headboard, Kris straddling his lap, hips pushing against his insistently. After long moments of glorious, glorious kissing, Kris pulls away, panting. His hands come up to caress Adam's face. "I love _you_ ," Kris says, smile blinding bright.

Adam leans forward to suck a kiss onto the jut of his jaw, smiling to himself when he feels Kris shudder all over. "Show me how much," he growls into Kris's ear.

Adam is seventeen years old, and sometimes he feels like the whole world is at his feet. In moments like this, though, the world is encircled in his arms, squirming happily beneath him, nipping kisses at his neck, legs tangling with his. _And really_ , Adam thinks. _My life right now? Is fucking awesome._

 

* * *

 

 **i will finally know the feeling**

 

"Midnight, Kris."

"Thanks, mama."

Kris smiles when she presses a kiss on his cheek, then waits until she's safely on the other side of their front door. Then he pulls away from their sidewalk, letting his instincts take over the long-familiar drive. When he reaches his destination, he hops out of the car and jogs to the front door. He knocks a few times, bouncing on his heels as he waits.

Leila peeks her head out and she smiles indulgently when she sees him. "I was wondering if I was going to see you today. He's studying upstairs," she says as she lets him in.

He presses a quick kiss to her cheek. "Thank you. Mama says hi, and she said to call her tonight, if it's not too late."

"Thanks, kid."

Kris makes his way up the stairs and to Adam's room. The hallway was quiet save for the strains of a Zep song that Kris can barely hear through the crack in the doorway. He carefully pushes the door open and slips inside, wincing at the loud _click_ when he flips the lock.

The room doesn't look any different from when Kris left it the previous night - piles of clothes randomly scattered on the floor; desk a mess of books and notebook paper; closet door left wide open, an explosion of color and leather and shiny objects. Kris smiles when he spots Adam dozing on the messy bed, on his stomach, a pillow hugged to his chest. He walks closer and feels his smile widen, when he hears light snores coming from Adam's nose.

He makes his way to the side of the bed and kneels on the carpet. He carefully pushes back the soft hair flopping on Adam's forehead, indulging himself for a bit and just looks. It's not often that he can do this without Adam being aware of it, trying to distract him or get into his pants, an adorable blush spreading on his cheeks at the undivided attention. _Stop staring_ , Adam always says, leaning in for a kiss or reaching out for a grope. _Thought you wanted to be a rock star, babe. You gotta get used to the attention_ , Kris always quips back.

He lets his eyes linger on the dark sweep of Adam's lashes on his cheek, at the smattering of freckles all over - Kris can tell they're a few shades darker than usual because of the afternoon Adam spent under the sun, hanging out on the bleachers with Alisan ostensibly to do homework but spent most of it yelling double entendres all through Kris's baseball practice. His fingers can't help but trace lightly on Adam's nose, long and thin and perfect. He thumbs gently on the freckles dotting his lips, aching for a taste. He kind of wants to punch himself in the face for counting, but it'd been five hours since their last kiss - saying goodbye in the car at dusk, when Adam dropped him off at home so he could get ready for a huge family dinner - and other than the time between going to bed and picking each other up to head to school, they don't go that long without any kind of physical contact.

Placing his glasses on the dresser then toeing off his shoes and unbuttoning his dress shirt, Kris tries to figure out the best way to wake Adam up. Then without warning, his world suddenly tilts. And before he knows it, he's lying on the bed, face smushed on Adam's shoulder, Adam wrapped around him like an oversized octopus. A pair of arms are twined around his back, a leg slung across his waist, and he's being squeezed really him tight. Adam hadn't even opened his eyes through any of it, his breathing as even as it was when Kris first came into the room. He'd dragged Kris onto the bed like a ragdoll in his sleep. _My giant weirdo_ , Kris sighs internally.

He tries his best to adjust in Adam's grip, turning his head and pressing his face into Adam's neck, his hands drifting under Adam's shirt to trace light patterns on his back. Sappy as it may sound, if anyone asked him where his favorite place in the world was, this would undoubtedly be his answer. He kisses the thin skin of Adam's neck and breathes in deep. He could so easily fall asleep like this. While every cell in his body is screaming for him to just close his eyes and fall under, he knew two sets of parents will freak out if he let himself give in.

Every attempt to pull away only results in a rumbling in Adam's chest and arms tightening their grip around him. Part of Kris chastises himself for stopping by so late on a weeknight, but a bigger part knew better - _of course_ he was going to stop by, they can't stay away from each other that long, he can't not come over even to just say goodnight. Adam would be more pissy if Kris just left than if he gets woken up in the middle of the night.

They only have so much time, and Kris knows that however much he wants to, they can't stay this way for long. He pulls back the few inches that he can, putting his head beside Adam's on the pillow, their noses touching.

"Adam," he murmurs. "Baby, I need you to wake up for me."

Adam mumbles something incomprehensible and pulls, trapping Kris against his shoulder again.

Kris can't help but smile into his skin. He loves Adam in every way, all the time, but Kris thinks he loves him like this the most, when he's soft and clumsy and sweet, completely unaware of his surroundings. He turns his head and plants soft, wet kisses all along his shoulder and up his neck, nipping at the freckles he knows are there, sucking a light bruise on the jut of Adam's jaw. His hand drifts downward from Adam's back, squeezing his ass through his boxers. He feels Adam's cock twitch against his stomach and smothers a grin. "Wake up, love."

He feels the arms around him tighten their grip minutely, and Adam's body stretches beside him. Kris pulls away, eyes darting up at Adam's half-lidded, bleary gaze. He smiles brightly. "Hey, you."

Adam's forehead wrinkles, all adorably confused and caught unaware. Kris lets him take a few moments to wake up a little more, planting butterfly kisses all over his face. Then he feels warm, clumsy hands cup his cheeks and pet at his hair. He sighs and happily leans in to the touch, playfully nipping at the bits of palm and thumb that he can reach.

"Time is it?" Adam rasps.

"Just past eleven," Kris says. "Came to say goodnight."

"Mmm," Adam murmurs as he leans in and hilariously puckers his lips. "Kiss."

It takes all of his self control to keep from laughing and instead he clumsily catches Adam's upper lip in his teeth. _This_ , he thinks. _Just this._ He feels his whole body sag in relief, finally getting what he's been thinking of all night. After a few lazy kisses, he takes the lead, opening Adam's mouth with his own, drawing his tongue out and sucking lightly. Adam's entire body jolts, hands grabbing at Kris's hair, pressing them even closer together. They kiss for a long time, slow and languid, barely taking full breaths. Their hands wander down each other's bodies, both touch-starved and extra grabby, taking stock of long-familiar skin.

An eternity later, Adam pulls his lips away and pitches forward to plant his face on Kris's neck, breathing in deep. Kris just keeps rubbing his thumb on Adam's hairline, soothing him, enjoying the contact. Sometimes he thinks it should be strange that he enjoys quiet moments like these almost more than their more intense ones - moments of calm over moments when it seemed like they would die if they didn't get their hands down each other's pants quickly enough. But he does; he loves the weight of Adam's arms and legs draped over him, his warm and wet breaths on his skin, the softness of Adam's childhood bed beneath them.

He hears his phone beep in his pocket - it's the alarm he set for 11:30. It takes a great effort to disentangle their limbs. Adam lets out a loud groan of protest, but Kris just shushes him. It gets more and more difficult to do this every night, saying goodbye when all they want is to keep holding on. He's slept on his bed alone for all of his life, but these days, the yawning gap that he feels on the space beside him becomes harder and harder to ignore. He's taken to sleeping with extra pillows piled around him, but it doesn't help. Normally he'd feel a little silly feeling like this, but he knows Adam has spent more than a few nights sleeping on his living room couch because his bed felt disturbingly big.

Kris sits up to lean against the headboard. Adam immediately rolls over and follows, his head pressed against Kris's side, arms gripping his waist. He winds his fingers in Adam's hair, massaging his scalp. He murmurs under his breath - he heard the song in the car and won't get out of his head - " _I could drink a case of you and still be on my feet_."

Adam _hmm_ s and presses a kiss on his stomach, whispers, " _part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time_ ". Moments like these, Kris feels like the luckiest guy in the world. He's the only person who gets to see Adam this way, all cuddly and open; he holds this warmth close to him, tries hard to keep it in his heart and burn it into his brain, something that will get him through the next few hours apart.

He sighs and runs his hands over Adam's arm. "Did you have a good night?" he asks quietly.

"Mmhmmm. Hung out at Alisan's with everybody."

"Everybody?"

"Yeah," Adam snuffles. "Ali, Dani, Brad, Josh, Cass..."

Kris raises his eyebrows. "Oh? So every guy you've ever hooked up with, huh?"

"Mmm. Neil, too. Matt. Tommy. Tay."

Kris fights to stifle his laughter. "So... your brother. And the three guys who hit on you mercilessly 24/7? I see how it is."

"See... what?" Adam tips his head up, eyes glazed and confused.

Kris pinches his arm. "You and your harem, babe. Bet you had a _great_ time."

Adam's eyes widen comically and Kris can't keep up his faux-jealous face, just bursts out laughing. Adam sits up and tickles Kris's sides. "I do _not_ have a harem."

Kris bends in half and tries to catch his breath. "I was - I was kiddin - oh gosh, stop -"

Adam sits up, straddles Kris's knees and sits, leaning in to nip at the edge of his jaw. "They almost kicked me out, y'know. Said I kept whining. No idea what they were talking about."

Kris reaches out and laces their fingers together. "Missed me, did you?"

"Can't imagine why," Adam scoffs. "When you come here and call me a slut."

Laughing, Kris leans in to press a kiss on his nose. "I just said they wanted in your pants. Too bad they never will. Don't feel too sorry for them, though."

"Oh, really?"

"Mmm. All mine."

"Damn right."

Adam grins at him, eyes bright, and draws him in for a kiss made sloppy by their smiles. Kris's phone beeps again - 11:45 - and he groans. "I don't want to go," he whispers into Adam's mouth.

"Then don't," Adam mumbles brokenly.

"My mom will have a stroke." Kris carefully rolls out from under Adam and pushes him back down on the bed, smoothing the blankets down, all but tucking him in. Adam pouts the whole time.

"I hate this," Adam says.

Kris pulls his shoes on and grabs his glasses from the dresser. "I know, babe. I'm sorry," he murmurs as he leans in for one last kiss. He pulls away after a long moment, and smiles when Adam reaches up to adjust the glasses on his face. "Sleep tight."

"Sweet dreams, baby. I love you," Adam says with an unbearably sweet smile on his face. It takes all of Kris's self control - and then some - to back away from the bed.

"I love you too." Kris doesn't take his eyes off him until he closes the door.

 

* * *

 

 **so anyone can hear**

 

Kris smiles when a familiar pair of arms wrap around him from behind.

"Ali let you out of her sight?"

He feels Adam grin into his shoulder. "Will called."

"Ooh, excellent distraction." Kris tips his head back and peers up at him. "Remember when we used to talk on the phone? I miss that."

Even without looking, Kris knows that Adam's making one of his ridiculous faces. "I see you every night. What is there to miss?"

"Nothing, I was just making it up," Kris laughs.

"Silly," Adam murmurs into his neck.

"Mmm." Kris straightens a little to pour the third batch of popcorn into the third huge bowl and puts the last bag in the microwave. "I remember I'd get all nervous whenever you said you'd call. And when you did, I'd have a stupid grin on my face all through dinner, and Daniel would just laugh and laugh."

"I remember that one time Mr. D. kept you after rehearsal, and you called an hour late," Adam muses, and Kris leans further into his chest, enjoying the soft rumble of his voice against his back. "I freaked out and stomped around the house so loudly, Neil wanted to _kill_ me. At one point I was seriously ready to cry."

"So dramatic."

"I know, right? But I liked you _so much_ , and I thought, y'know, that we were building up to a _thing_. And then I thought you'd changed your mind. God, I was such a spaz."

Kris guffaws. "You still are."

"Am not."

"Are too."

Adam playfully nips at his ear. "Shut it."

"Make me."

Adam turns him around and raises an eyebrow at him, hauling him onto the kitchen counter. Kris happily leans into him and kisses back, groaning when Adam sucks on his tongue.

Kris pulls away when he realizes he can't let this moment pass. "You were spazzing about _me_ ," he grins.

Adam rolls his eyes. "Can't imagine why."

"You _like_ me," Kris crows.

"Gloating is unbecoming, baby," Adam says, eyes narrowed playfully.

Kris laughs and pulls him closer. "I was so stupid over you, babe. Still am. Worse now, even." He just knows he has the sappiest look on his face right now, but he doesn't care. As long as Adam keeps smiling at him like that, all affectionate and grateful and like he wants to devour him whole, Kris really can't make himself care about anything at all.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm completely stupid over you too," Adam whispers against his lips before pulling him into another kiss.

It's languid and slow, their tongues exploring, teeth nipping lightly at odd intervals. Kris kisses the curve of Adam's grin, sighing when one of Adam's hands start to creep up under his shirt. He then occupies himself with the freckles on Adam's neck, enjoying his gasps and shudders, when suddenly they're interrupted by a loud cough.

"Our dear friend Alisan sent me here and told me to yell. Says if you're not back downstairs in five minutes, she'll castrate one of you. And make the other one sit with Brad all night," Cassidy says, eyebrow raised.

They both laugh and lean in for one last kiss before Adam gently pulls Kris back to the floor. They pick up two bowls of popcorn each and head out.

"Could you grab the napkin holder, Cass?" Adam asks.

They all head downstairs to the basement/rec room, only to find Ali and Brad bickering.

"We already agreed on a _Mummy_ marathon today, Brad. There are rules," Alisan was saying.

"Rules are for Christians," Brad says. "Come on, I brought the _Donnie Darko_ director's cut. Jake G. Creepy rabbit. Adam's favorite song --"

"Hey, leave me out of this," Adam interrupts as he puts the bowls on their usual spots.

"Whatever, come on Ali, just this once --" Brad wheedles.

Alisan sighs. "Five years of this, seriously, we're not changing the rules. Now go sit and enjoy the freaking movie because I told you so. Cale, go."

Cale obediently presses play on the remote and leans on one arm of the couch, grinning at a giggling Danielle sitting opposite him. Alisan sits beside her and playfully pulls on her hair. Allison and Andrew were on the floor, Andrew playfully leaning on Cale's knees and the girls fussing with Alli's hair while Brad, Cassidy and Tommy were sharing the pair of beanbag chairs on the left side of the room. Kris and Adam settle on the loveseat that they'd pretty much claimed for themselves the moment they got together - Adam sits and tugs on Kris's hand; Kris lets himself be pulled sideways and down, draping his legs on Adam's lap and curling up under his arm.

They try their best to pay attention to the movie, but they're sharing a bowl of popcorn too, and Adam insists that Kris just has to be the one to feed them both. Kris finds it difficult to keep his attention on ancient Egypt when Adam keeps faux-innocently nipping his fingers; it gets even worse when Adam drops his thinly-veiled act and starts full-on sucking his middle finger, his tongue swirling obscenely. Kris pulls his hand away and offers up his lips instead, bucking a little when Adam's hand creeps up his thigh.

"Babe," Kris murmurs against his lips.

"Mmm."

"Babe," he says more forcefully, gripping Adam's chin, keeping it in place as he puts as much distance between them as possible (which really isn't much at all). "Not here, jeez. We are not these people."

Adam sighs and pulls him back in, nuzzling at his temple. "I know. Sorry, sorry."

Kris snuggles in and presses a soft kiss on his neck. "S'okay. I want you too." He feels Adam's answering smile on the top of his head, and it makes him grin. "Can't help if I'm just so irresistible."

Adam huffs a laugh and pinches his thigh. "Gloating."

"Uh huh. Goes both ways, though."

"Damn straight."

They're quiet for a long time after that, getting into the movie, whispering innuendo under their breath and giggling at inappropriate parts. Kris loves that he can feel it all over his body when Adam laughs, and wishes he can carry the beautiful sound around with him forever.

Just as Rachel Weisz gets kidnapped, he feels Adam urgently pinching his waist and shaking him.

"What is it? You need to get up?"

"No no, I'm fine. Oh my god. Okay, be casual," Adam whispers urgently.

"What?"

"Don't be too obvious."

"Obvious about what?"

"Ssh," Adam whispers impatiently. "Okay. Be chill. Don't move your head too far."

"Are you having a fit?"

"Okay, ready?"

"What the heck --"

"Brad and Cassidy are holding hands," Adam murmurs into his ear.

Kris's eyes bug out and he represses the strongest urge to sit up and swivel his head in shock. "Oh my gosh. Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"You're sure?"

"I'm very sure."

After a few seconds of stunned silence, Kris stretches his arms in a fake yawn and turns his head a few inches to the left. Tommy had made his way on the floor beside Allison, his head on her lap. Brad and Cassidy were sprawled close together on the lump of beanbag - nothing new there, they've never been a bunch that had all that much respect for personal space - but. Between them, their hands were tangled loosely together. They were both sitting ramrod straight, and staring a little too interestedly at the TV.

"Oh my god," he murmurs, mostly to himself. He jerks in surprise when Adam suddenly grabs his face and smacks a kiss on his lips. When he looks up, Adam's grinning at him, eyes bright and laughing. "What?"

"You are the worst actor ever."

Kris pouts at him. "Well, that's the best I could come up with in short notice!" He _hmm_ s distractedly when Adam bites at his protruding bottom lip, but pinches his arm a few seconds later.

"Ow!"

"Focus, babe. I just - did you know about this?"

Adam's eyes widen hilariously. "No! I know they've been flirting forever, but I had no idea they had a _thing_. They're both such shitty fakers though, jeez. Way to be obvious."

"We weren't much better when we started out," Kris says, remembering all the times they held hands under the table, in the movie theater, that one time in Matt's car; all the times they hung back from the group, talking and clumsily flirting; their entire lunch table laughing at them when they announced that they were officially together.

"Mmm, true," Adam says, an affectionate lilt to his voice. "Remember being squashed in Matt's car?"

Kris laughs softly. "I was just thinking about that too."

"I didn't get why Matt and Ali were laughing so hard," Adam says, his voice far away. "It felt like my entire universe was just this," he says as he lifts their twined hands.

Kris presses soft kisses on Adam's knuckles. "I know. There was this kind of loud buzzing in my ears too, I was freaking out so much. I couldn't concentrate on anything." He sighs as Adam kisses his cheek. "And the first time, oh gosh."

"Yeah babe, Dani still hates us for that. She _really_ liked those pants."

"That was all you."

"You were the one who almost turned over the whole table and spilled half the drinks!" Adam says indignantly.

"Because you grabbed my leg without, I dunno, some kind of warning! Or even subtlety!" Kris snipes back.

"You kept bouncing! It was distracting!"

"Because you were freaking me out! With your 'oh, Friday's gonna be so much fun, Megan's brother is gonna bring his fraternity friends and that can only mean fresh blood'," Kris dips his voice lower in what he knows could only be a hilarious attempt to imitate Adam's voice.

"I was talking about boys for Ali and Dani! In fact, I said just a few minutes later --"

"Yeah, but I didn't know it _then_. And by the time Ali was talking, I really wasn't paying attention to anything else because _you were holding my hand_. It was kind of a big deal, I dunno."

"Listen to you being all sappy."

Kris smiles. "Yeah yeah, all for you," he whispers, leaning in and indulging himself in a slow, soft kiss. "Mmm. So now it's our turn to pretend that we don't know that something's going on, and point and laugh when they finally get it right."

"Exactly. This is gonna be fun," Adam grins. "Ooh, this is my favorite part."

Kris feels Adam's deep sigh as Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz kiss in the sunset. He smiles wryly and drops a kiss on Adam's nose, then swings his feet to the floor. Adam's arms reach out and grab his waist. "Where are you going?"

"Movie's over. Gotta pee."

Adam pouts up at him. "Kiss first."

Kris rolls his eyes fondly and lets himself be pulled in. Then he gets up and stretches his arms and legs, winking when he sees Adam looking appreciatively.

Alisan catches him by the door, leaning into him with a sigh. They walk up the stairs together.

"Hey you," he slings his arm around her and presses a kiss into her hair.

"Did you see?"

Kris laughs. "Yeah. Took all my control not to stare. It's sweet."

"I don't want Brad to break his heart."

"Cass knows what he's doing. And Brad doesn't hold hands with just anyone, you know that."

She hums thoughtfully and digs her chin into his shoulder. Once they're on the landing, Kris gets the surprise of his life when she twists around and grabs him in a crushing hug. He sways on his feet, puzzled, but happily hugs back.

"Dunno if I ever told you, but I'm glad it ended up being you," Alisan says into his collarbone.

"Hmm?"

"You take such good care of him. You make him happy. I've always trusted you with him," she says. "Just. Thanks."

Kris is completely floored, and he has no idea what to say. After a few seconds of silent hugging - "He makes it easy," he whispers.

Alisan pulls away and gives him a brilliant smile. "See you down there," she says, and turns to go up another flight of stairs, probably to her room.

Once Kris gets back to the basement, it was buzzing with activity. Cale is up and fiddling with the DVD player; Andrew and Tommy's heads bent together in conversation; Cass and Alli cuddling on a beanbag chair; Dani, Adam and Brad pow-wowing on the couch.

He runs a hand through Adam's hair and gives him a small smile when he passes by the couch on his way to the beanbags. "Your hair's a mess, Alli."

"Oh man, I don't even want to look at it. They'll fix it by the end of _Mummy Returns_ ," Allison says. "If they don't, I'll kill them."

"Bet you could totally work this in daylight though," Kris teases.

"You know it, bro."

Kris peers at Cassidy, who looks like he's trying his damnedest to not look like he's staring at Brad. And if Kris can tell, _everybody_ can tell, and it's all he can do not to laugh out loud.

Alisan stomps back into the room and plants herself on Adam's lap. "We ready to go?"

Allison ducks from under Cass's arm and gets up, only to drop on the floor between Dani's knees. "Time to fix me."

Ali grins and ruffles Adam's hair, then moves off his lap to sit back on the couch, tilting her head to try and figure out how to get Allison's hair back to what it was earlier that night.

The boys approximate the same places they were in earlier, except Andrew now has the couch and Cale's on the floor. Brad and Cassidy are sitting stiffly on the beanbag chairs, and Kris tries really hard not to burst out laughing. The "drama" really does look kind of ridiculous from the outside in.

Next thing he knows, Adam is draped around his back. "How do you feel about being the big spoon, baby?"

Kris leans further into the embrace. "Are your legs okay? Sorry I'm so heavy."

He feels Adam's lips on his hair. "You're not. Just sat too long without moving. Floor okay?"

"Yeah, c'mon."

Kris settles on the carpet, his back up against their loveseat. He spreads his legs and pulls Adam down. Adam sits obediently between them and leans against him; Kris runs his hands down his arms and tangles their fingers together.

"Comfy?" he murmurs against Adam's cheek.

"Very. Thank you."

Adam's breathing centers him, and he settles in to watch the movie. When the little kid gets kidnapped, Kris shifts a little and lifts his knees to keep circulation. Adam's hands start running up his thighs, then go down his legs and under the hem of his jeans. Adam's fingers cup his ankle, thumb caressing his shin. Kris sighs and tips Adam's chin up for a kiss.

Adam stares at him silently when they part a few seconds later.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Kris whispers.

Adam smiles hazily. "They're all of you."

"Man, we're bringing the cheese tonight," Kris chuckles. "I think I like it."

"Mmm. Brad's completely freaking out. It's like DEFCON 5 in his head. Apparently Cass was the one who reached out."

Kris steals a glance at the supremely tense couple on the other side of the room. It's dark, and Kris could only just see that Brad's hand was twitching minutely closer to Cassidy's, but no dice on contact. "Man, do I know how that feels. Did you tell him it's his move now?"

"Dani and I kept telling him. He didn't even want to go back and sit next to him, I'm glad we convinced him to change his mind about that at least," Adam says.

"Clearly the ball's in his court now, he should go for it. Cass put himself out there, I'm sure he's freaking out even more. He couldn't even look at me when I sat with him."

"Yeah well, not everyone can be like you, baby," Adam says fondly.

"This is true," Kris says, remembering how he had been the one to grab Adam's hand when they were about to leave the restaurant, the night of the first time. Everyone saw, and he refused to let go until he was dropped off at his house.

"I really hope they work it out," Adam murmurs. "I think they'd be good for each other."

Kris ponders it for a moment. "Brad with a boyfriend. Who would have thought."

They're quiet for another long while, Kris enjoying Adam's hands drifting all over his legs. He occupies himself with Adam's waist and stomach, rubbing gently on warm flesh under his shirt. Every time Adam's contented sighs rumble through him, he drops a soft kiss on his neck.

By the time The Rock is back on screen with his weird scorpion CGI, Kris isn't even looking at the screen anymore, but was pressing dozens of kisses up and down Adam's face, Adam completely soft and pliant against him, pushing his neck further up.

"I want to take you home," Kris murmurs in his ear.

Adam groans and abruptly sits up, scooting over Kris's knees and planting himself beside him. "Jesus, baby. Now is neither the time nor the place."

Kris sighs in frustration and leans into Adam's side. "I know, I know. Sorry. Got carried away. Couldn't help it."

Giggling quietly, Adam cards his hand through his hair. "I'm just that irresistible."

Kris huffs and leans further in, throwing his arm around Adam's waist. "Shut up." He smiles when a soft kiss is pressed on his ear.

The movie ends soon after that, and Kris catches a glimpse of Brad practically flying past them and running up the stairs. He shares a puzzled look with Adam, who just shrugs. A quick glance around the room shows that everyone's confused but trying valiantly to be casual about it; Cassidy had struck up conversation with Alisan, distractedly glancing at the door every other second.

Kris stands up and stretches, his eyes adjusting to the new brightness of the room. Adam squints at him and worldlessly lifts his arms; Kris pulls him up with a loud grunt.

"Hug please?" Adam asks primly.

Kris smiles and obliges immediately, sighing when Adam squeezes him, laughing when he gets lifted to his toes.

"Cuddle pile!" he suddenly hears Allison yell, and a split second later, he gets the wind knocked out of him when he's tacklehugged from behind.

He's beyond grateful for the soft carpet when he gets pushed to the floor by what he assumes are at least five people. Adam grunts underneath him, taking the brunt of all the weight. There's yelling in his ears and a ton of hair tickling his nose and mouth, and all Kris can do is grin.

"I can't breeeeeeeathe!" Adam yells. "Get off me!"

"You love us!" Cale sing-songs from somewhere above.

"I hate all of you!" Adam growls.

"That's a lie," Kris says.

"You're crushing my spleen!"

After a few long moments of giggling and groaning, Kris feels the weight come off him slowly but surely, until it's just him and Allison on either side, lying half on top of Adam. Kris grins at her. "Hey, baby girl."

"Hiya, half-pint."

Kris scowls at her for that.

"He's pouting, isn't he," Adam says delightedly, his hand trying tip his chin up.

Kris ducks away and sits up, glaring at them both. "You're so mean to me. I don't like you anymore."

Adam and Allison lay cuddled together on the floor, giggling hysterically. "Oh my god, you're _adorable_ ," Alli coos.

Everyone's laughs are suddenly extinguished when Brad reenters the room. He nonchalantly sits on the couch and pulls Alisan down with him, whispering something in her ear.

The rest of them stand there awkwardly for a handful of seconds, then Cale claps Cassidy's back and leads him to the keyboard standing in the corner. Adam, Kris and Allison stare at each other for a while longer before Kris offers his hands and lifts them off the floor.

Alli pinches his cheek and then turns to make a beeline toward Andrew, who was talking and gesturing to Tommy. Kris smiles as he watches her tuck into his side, Andrew cuddling her close without even missing a beat.

Adam tugs on his hand and pulls them over to where Dani was standing and observing.

"Hey lovebirds," she coos.

Adam rolls his eyes. "Can we not."

Danielle just looks at them, eyes dancing. "The two of you have the most bizarre ability to forget that you're in a room with other people."

Kris feels a blush spread across his cheeks but strives to keep a straight face. "Um."

"It's a good thing we love you both. And we learned very early on to just keep our eyes averted pretty much all the time."

"What can I say, I have an exhibitionist streak," Adam drawls, and then yelps when Kris pinches his arm.

"Stop it."

Adam ducks down to look him in the eye. "I don't know how to tell you this, but baby, the jig is up. Nobody believes your 'I'm a virginal prude' act. Not anymore, anyway," he says with a smirk.

Kris scowls. "I don't know why I put up with you."

Adam and Danielle just laugh. "You are just as slutty as I am, baby. Everybody knows it."

"You're a terrible influence."

Danielle reaches up to pinch his cheek. "Oh come on, Kris. Ever since that ride in Matt's car, everyone kind of knew. Worst kept secret ever."

Kris's eyes threaten to bug out of his head. "How do you even know that story?! You were in Europe for a month!"

"We were the golden couple back then, baby. Everyone knew everything," Adam says, smiling and tucking him back to his side.

"Well, your fifteen minutes are over," Danielle says. "There's trouble brewing."

Kris frowns, absently curling his fingers in Adam's belt loops. "It's crazy," he says. "What's Brad doing, running away like that? Like Cass has the plague?"

"He's scared shitless. Can't say I blame him," Adam says as his hand comes up to grip the back of his neck.

"He's being an idiot," Danielle says firmly. "They should just talk about it like, I dunno, reasonable human beings."

"Easier said than done, Dani girl."

"I know, but - I just - it's annoying that he's making it so unnecessarily difficult. It's all _there_ , why can't he be upfront too?"

"Fear is a powerful thing," Kris says. "A lot of people would much rather stay alone if it meant never getting hurt."

"Well, _you_ made it work. Scarlett and Lee are perfectly happy. Even Ryland with his girl."

Adam laughs softly. "Well, it wasn't an easy road for _any_ of us. But yeah, it's definitely annoying to watch from the outside like this. I really want to smack Brad upside the head."

"You talkin' 'bout me, Lambert?" Brad lilts from his perch on the couch.

"You wish," Adam shoots back.

There's an awkward silence before Tommy clears his throat and glances around the room. "Uh guys, I know it's Friday night, but I do have a curfew I need to not miss. So... Cale? You good?"

Cale presses down on a dissonant chord. "Yeah, sure, whenever you're ready."

It was another sleepover night for Adam and the girls, so when the rest of the group head up the stairs and to the driveway, Kris lets himself be dragged back into the bathroom right inside the foyer. He's hauled onto the counter, Adam's lips hot and insistent on his, hands all over his back and arms, eyes shut tight. After a few long moments of just drowning in the attention, Kris grabs Adam's face in his hands and slows them down, planting soft, quick kisses on every inch of Adam's lips.

Adam sighs and draws Kris into his arms, breathing in deep. Kris squeezes with all his might. "Have fun tonight, okay?" he murmurs against Adam's shoulder.

"Mmm. Lots of boy talk. Fun," Adam huffs.

Kris giggles and pushes himself back on to the floor, making his way out of the house, tugging Adam's hand the whole time. "You love gossip. And there's lots to talk about, after tonight."

They make their way to the sidewalk where the group was lingering outside Cale's van. Kris blushes under the knowing look Alisan throws at them, but Adam just pulls Kris tighter against his side.

"Everyone can get home from Cale's, right?" Danielle asks.

"Yeah. Allison's staying with you, so none of us are more than six blocks away, I don't think," Andrew says. He darts forward and grabs all three girls in a group hug, dropping kisses on top of their heads. "See you Monday."

"Love you, Dickie," Alisan singsongs.

Andrew just rolls his eyes and disengages, moving to clap Adam on the back. "Night, bro."

"Night, Andrew," Adam says. The rest of the guys dole out goodbyes in much the same way, with Cale swinging Allison off her feet, Tommy and Brad kissing their cheeks, Cassidy pulled into a mini pow-wow for a couple minutes. Kris goes to give them hugs one by one, lingering especially long with Alisan, rocking her from side to side.

"Your turn now," Kris mumbles into her hair.

She giggles as she pulls away. "Safe with me, promise."

Kris then goes to where Adam is chatting with Cale. He's lifted to his toes, Adam's grip around him almost too tight. "I love you," Kris says into his neck. "Sleep tight, okay?"

Adam sniffs. "Call me when you get home."

"Mmhmm."

"Breakfast tomorrow?"

"You're not gonna make breakfast, babe."

"Lunch, then."

"I'll be home all day, come over when you can."

"'kay. Sweet dreams, baby. I love you."

They share a soft, chaste kiss, then Kris pulls away and climbs into the van.

"You all need to text me when you get home," Allison says in a voice that leaves no room for discussion.

"Yes, mom," Tommy teases.

"Drive safe, Cale," Alisan says. "Night, boys."

"Night," they all chime.

Kris smiles when Adam reaches in and cups his cheek. He turns his head and kisses Adam's palm, squeezing his fingers and mouthing _love you_ as the van moves away.

 

* * *

 

 **take another breath of evening**

 

It's one of the rare days when both of them are completely caught up on their homework and could blow everything off for an afternoon.

So to speak.

Kris is sprawled on top of Adam, planting wet and lazy kisses on his shoulder, tracing skin with his tongue. Adam heaves breaths through his nose, willing his heart to stop racing. He peers past Kris to the not-quite-setting sun outside - he guesses it could be funny, how quickly they managed to make their way from school to Adam's house, coming dangerously close to slipping and falling down the stairs as they frantically made out all the way up to Adam's room. They'd torn two buttons on Kris's shirt in their haste to get to bare skin; spilled a bunch of condoms on the carpet as Adam grabbed at the box to get just one; not bothering with foreplay, Adam pounding Kris on the bed, barely taking his tongue out of Kris's mouth to breathe.

The thing is, they make sure to spend quality time together every day, finding hidden corners and unoccupied broom closets in school, heading into theater rehearsal early to make out on Kris's chair in the orchestra pit, violating Adam's makeup counter in his dressing room. It's a heady feeling, wanting and being wanted right back, and more often than not, they're happy to give in to their teenage hormones. But days like today are a treat; the night stretches out in front of them, seemingly endless, and they can take as much time as they want.

"You sure you don't want to go out?" Adam murmurs into Kris's hair.

Kris shifts so the bed is carrying most of his weight and throws his leg across Adam's waist before Adam could protest. "Wanna be with you."

"Always, baby," Adam squeezes back. "I could take you out to that new Italian place? Or we could go to Matt's party."

Kris peers up at him. "I don't mind just staying in tonight. But if you wanna go, we totally could."

"Alisan's party is this Friday, let's just go to that. I don't really want to move right now," Adam says.

"Good," Kris sighs, and tucks his face into Adam's neck.

Adam giggles to himself as he hears the front door slam. Neil had just gotten home from school. They _were_ fast.

\---

"Did you see Allison outside Lit today? She was like this eager little puppy, waiting for Cook to get out."

"Kinda hard to miss her and her hair," Kris says as he fiddles with Adam's iPod dock, presumably looking for the playlist they made together - a kind of bizarre mix of songs they both like and can relax to.

"Yeah. She's so cute though, she's crushing on him so hard," Adam giggles.

"Cook's way funnier - it's hilarious that he has no idea what to do with her," Kris deadpans as he plops next to Adam on the bed.

Adam toys with the hem of Kris's shirt - Adam's shirt, really - his favorite Bowie one, well-washed, a few sizes too big on him. Kris has made a habit of nicking Adam's clothes after Adam had told him how much of a turn-on it was. Seeing Kris in his clothes makes Adam hot all over, fiercely possessive and almost violently territorial. He spent an entire day all twitchy and distracted when Kris evilly ("accidentally", he'd lied) turned up in school wearing the only plaid shirt Adam owned. It was way too big, it hung on Kris's frame awkwardly and went past his wrists and knees, but Kris made it work. Made it look unbearably hot. Needless to say, a huge chunk of their study time that night was _not_ spent studying.

Kris was probably going to have to take this one home with him too - the button-down he was wearing earlier looks just about damaged beyond repair.

"It's like a hilariously PG plotline on Gossip Girl," Adam says. "Teenage drama - no high school experience is complete without it."

Kris covers Adam's hands with his and laces their fingers together. "I gotta say, it's much more fun looking at it from the outside in."

"Oh definitely," Adam agrees. "Though sometimes - like, when Alisan corners me and talks my ear off for like an hour about her boy troubles - sometimes I wonder if I'm missing something by not having that in my life."

Kris gives him an adorably puzzled look. "So... the time you spent dating before we got together, that wasn't enough drama for you?"

Adam sticks out his tongue. "Eww no, those years were _disastrous_. It's just. I don't know, sometimes it's like we're too young to be this... stable."

Kris's forehead wrinkles, like he doesn't quite know what to make of what Adam just said. "What are you --"

"I dunno, just thinking out loud. I mean, we're barely eighteen. We're going to New York together. Cass says we're like an old married couple. And Tommy doesn't get us at all. He keeps telling me there are boys lined up and down the block, just waiting for me to give them the time of day. He doesn't understand why I'm not a player like him," Adam says.

A wide grin suddenly blooms on Kris's face. "Down the block, huh?" He jumps off the bed and peers outside Adam's window. "Sorry babe, I don't see any of them."

Laughter bubbles up in Adam's stomach, and he giggles helplessly. "You're an ass. I was just... I don't even know. Do you even understand what I'm saying?"

Kris leans on the windowsill, arms crossed, expression suddenly serious. Framed by the fading light, he's almost painfully beautiful. Adam's breath catches in his throat. "I guess? I dunno, I can't - I'm just not a casual dater," he says slowly. "I'm not built for, like, random hookups or whatever. You're the only person I want to be with, that's been true for a long time. You're the only one I want right now, and in the future." Kris shrugs. "I think it's awesome that we don't have drama. I _like_ that we're stable."

Adam sits up and wraps his arms around his knees. "I like that we're stable too," he says, voice a little shaky. "You don't think we're too young?"

There's a pause, and then. "No," Kris shakes his head. "Just 'cause we're teenagers doesn't mean we don't know what we feel. I mean, you're hot, and sex is fun, but I love _you_. I don't care if we just hang out like this, and not do anything else. You're my best friend."

"Kristopher," Adam breathes. "I didn't know you were such a sweet talker. Get over here."

Kris grins and crawls up the bed, planting himself on Adam's lap, winding his arms and legs around Adam's neck and waist. "Do you want other boys, Adam?" Kris whispers as he rolls his hips and nips at Adam's ear. "Hotter," a sucking kiss on his neck; "prettier," a kiss on his chin; "twinkier boys?"

Caught between a laugh and a moan, Adam curls his hands around Kris's ears. "You're the only one I want, baby," he murmurs against Kris's mouth. They kiss lazily, arms wound tight, pressed as close as they can get. Adam groans as Kris noses his way down his throat and sucks a bruise on his collarbone.

"Jesus, Kris. I'm out of concealer," Adam forces out.

"I wish you didn't hide these. It's hard work making them, you know."

Adam laughs and pinches Kris's hip. "Hickeys are so trashy, baby."

Kris leans back and examines his handiwork, tracing the mark with his fingertips. "I like marking you. Shows everybody that you're mine."

A strong flood of pure _want_ washes over him, and Adam marvels at it a little. He knows his hormones are more than a little insane right now, but after six solid months of getting their hands all over each other as often as possible, the crazy lust has morphed into this bigger, overwhelming, not-just-physical _thing_. There's no word for it. It's exhilarating. He pushes Kris onto the bed, pinning him with his legs. "When you say things like that --"

"Like what?" Kris's eyes glinting with mischief.

Another hour passes with nothing but their grunts and moans filling the silence.

\---

They migrate to the den, Adam insisting on continuing Kris's _Gossip Girl_ education. Adam's leaning on the arm of the couch, arm wrapped around Kris, fingertips tracing random shapes on his stomach.

"Everyone just sleeps with everyone in this show, don't they?"

Adam giggles and says, "Yeah. They have pretty outfits!"

"It's so skeezy, though." Adam knows without looking that Kris is wrinkling his nose in distaste. "This what you want, babe? Slutting around like this?" Kris tips his head up to look at him.

"Everything I want is right here," Adam says.

Kris's answering smile is brilliant. "Now who's the sweet-talker?"

Adam rolls his eyes and pokes at Kris's side. "Shut your face."

Kris yelps and tries to pull away. Adam just tightens his grip and tips them both over, pins Kris down with his knees and continues his attack. "Stop! Oh gosh, stop!" Kris wheezes. Adam grins wickedly, then flips Kris over so they're spooned together, Kris's back flush against his chest. Their legs tangle together automatically.

"Shut up and watch the show," Adam crows, biting at Kris's ear.

Kris pulls at Adam's arm to draw them closer together and relaxes against his chest. "Fine, fine."

\---

They're still on the couch when someone comes thundering down the stairs and Neil comes barreling into the den. He stares down at them and - in a voice dripping with disdain - says, "You're not even wearing pants. Gross."

Kris just laughs as Adam flips him off. "Go away," Adam growls.

"Mom'll be home soon, she said we should order dinner. I'm thinking Chinese," Neil says.

"Sure," Adam answers. "The usual for me, please."

Neil blanches. "Wha -- _you_ call the place, dude."

Adam just rolls his eyes. "I'm busy. Go away. Kris will have his usual too."

"Oh, you're my spokesperson now?" Kris pipes up.

"What? No, I just assumed -- sorry babe, did you want something else?" Adam rubs his hip in apology.

Kris laughs. "Nah, I was just kidding. The usual's fine, thanks, Neil. Ow! What the --" Kris yelps and sits up as Adam pinches his arm. Hard. "The heck was that for?" Kris pouts.

"You're such a brat. Wait, oh my god, are you pouting? That's so _cute_! Do it some more," Adam laughs.

Neil makes loud, faux-vomiting noises beside them. "You make me sick. I'm getting out of here," he turns on his heel and stomps out the room. "Don't let mom catch you dicking around!" he calls over his shoulder.

Adam is still curled on his side, giggling hysterically. "You're so ridiculous," Kris says. He rolls his eyes with barely-concealed affection and lies back down.

\---

The two of them look up as someone knocks on the door. Leila pokes her head in and smiles at them. "Hey, kids."

"Hey, mom."

"Hi, Leila."

"Dinner's here, come on," she says.

Adam lets Kris pull him up and off the couch. They're right at the doorway when Kris stops abruptly, and Adam walks right into him. "Babe, what --"

Kris turns and pulls him into a fierce, dirty kiss. Kris's hand digs into Adam's shoulder almost painfully, but Adam just falls into it, pushing back just as hard, nipping and sucking and biting. After a few seconds, Kris pulls away, gasping. "Okay, yeah, that can last me through dinner, I think."

Adam bumps his forehead against Kris and rolls his eyes. "You have the strangest hangups. I'm pretty sure my mom knows we _kiss_. She won't care if we do it in front of her."

"Leave me alone," Kris says and drops another kiss to Adam's lips. "C'mon, I'm starving."

They pad to the dining room, hands twined. Neil rolls his eyes as soon as he sees them, and stuffs his mouth with an egg roll. Leila smiles at them fondly from the head of the table.

"I'll take the left," Kris says as he pulls two chairs together. Adam opens their takeout containers, dividing each dish into two plates. Then he lays out chopsticks for him and a spork for Kris. Kris pours water in two glasses and settles into his seat. Adam follows, immediately reaching out and lacing their fingers together. Their joined hands rest on Adam's knee as they eat and talk.

"Any plans tonight?" Leila asks.

"I might go to Giraud's party," Neil mumbles.

"We're just staying in tonight," Kris answers simultaneously.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, Neil. It's gross," Adam says.

Neil stops chewing and just looks at them. "You're boring."

Leila just laughs. "Neil."

"It's true! What else is there to do on a weekday if not go to a party?"

Adam glares at Neil and feels Kris's fingers tighten against his. "Whatever, we'll go to Alisan's this weekend, show you how boring we are."

Kris takes another bite of his half of the orange chicken - his aim is a little off, and gets a bit of sauce on his chin. Adam reaches up unthinkingly, uses his thumb to wipe the stain and licks it off. Kris doesn't even miss a beat.

Leila lets out a stifled laugh as Neil declares, "You're creepy. And both hands on the table, jeez, mom's sitting _right there_."

Kris just laughs and pulls up their joined hands. "Mind out of the gutter, Neil. Come on now."

"You're so bizarre, I swear. Don't you freak yourselves out? Mom, aren't you freaked out?"

Leila grins. "Nope. I think it's cute."

Adam and Neil groan loudly, and Adam sees Kris duck his head, trying to hide his blush. "Can we please just eat? And talk about something else?"

"Yes please," Kris mutters. "Not like any of this is even new or anything."

"Speaking of new," Leila masterfully deflects. "I got you that humidifier you wanted, Adam."

Adam perks up, grinning at his mom and then at Kris. "Awesome! Thanks, mom. Hardcore rehearsals start on Monday, I'm gonna need it."

"Are you playing for the show, Kris?" Leila asks.

"Yeah," Kris says. "It's the most complicated score I've ever worked on so far, it'll be a fun challenge."

"Oooh, can you show me, Kris?" Neil pipes up. "I need new stuff to try to play."

"Yeah sure, it's in my bag upstairs."

They finish dinner and put away the dishes. Once they're back upstairs, Adam sprawls on his beanbag chair as Kris rummages through his duffel.

"I'll just give this to Neil," Kris says, dropping a kiss on Adam's hair before heading out the door.

Adam turns the music back on and sprawls on his stomach on the bed, idly fiddling with his phone. _staying in 2nite, party on saturday_ he sends off to Tommy as Kris walks back in and drops down next to him.

"We're staying in fo'real?" he lilts.

Adam just laughs. "Yeah babe, fo'real. Already told Tommy we'll be there Saturday," he says as he waves his phone in Kris's face. "I want you to myself for a while longer."

Kris swats the phone away and bumps their shoulders. "You say that like we never spend time together."

"Never enough," Adam clucks at him. "You have baseball and orchestra and Charles and Cale. And I have theater and Dani and Alisan and the others. There's lots of things we don't do together."

"My baby's so needy," Kris coos as he drapes his arm around Adam and playfully nuzzles his cheek.

Adam jerks away and pouts. "Fine, you don't miss me, ever. I see how it is."

Laughing loudly, Kris hauls him closer. "Stop. Of course I miss you. I wish we could spend all our time together - and that's not just 'cause I want you all the time. But I love my friends. I know you love yours too. And getting to miss each other a little makes for fun reunions, right?" Kris murmurs as he plants kisses all along Adam's jaw.

"You only want me for my body," Adam sighs.

"Oh my gosh, shut up. I gotta go home in three hours, is pouting really the best use of our time?"

"See? You're just horny! Here I am being all vulnerable and shit and you just crawl all over me," Adam puts on his best dramatic voice and tries to pull away.

Kris rolls his eyes and flips Adam on his back, straddling him, lacing their fingers together and pressing them above his head. "Adam. Adam. Adam. Adam, I love you," he murmurs as he nips at Adam's neck and shoulders. "You have me, always. I need you, always. Spending half our days apart will not kill us, I promise." He licks into Adam's mouth and rolls his hips insistently. "Clothes off now, please."

\---

They're naked and spooned together on the bed - this is Adam's favorite cuddle position; he loves how small Kris is in his arms, loves being pressed together as close as they can get, loves feeling Kris's voice rumble in his chest when he talks.

"Time is it?" Kris mumbles into Adam's arm after a long silence.

Adam buries his face into Kris's neck and breathes in deep. "Time for good boys to get dressed and get home or else get grounded."

Kris's chest heaves with a sigh and Adam feels him snuggle closer. "Wish I could stay the night. Don't wanna move."

This was always the worst part of the day. No matter how long they've been together, no matter how often they've had to separate after lazy days like this, Adam can't get used to it. It's just about the one thing they haven't done, staying the night. Their parents are incredibly supportive of their relationship and have let them get away with a _lot_ , but both of them knew better than to ask for sleepovers. Adam squeezes Kris's waist, fighting a wave of frustration. Suddenly he's aching for high school to finish, for New York and college and freedom to be with Kris; the _right_ , the _choice_ to hold him for as long as he wants.

"Your mom loves me and has let me corrupt you in just about every way, but she's gonna kill me if you miss curfew," Adam says.

Kris turns over and _clings_ , wrists and knees locked around him, face buried in the crook of his shoulder. "I want to sleep beside you. I wish I didn't have to go. My bed always feels too big when I sleep in it," he whispers urgently.

"Not sure I'll be able to sleep here tonight, not when everything smells like you," Adam murmurs. He winds his hand in Kris's hair and kisses him.

After a long moment, Kris pulls away and rubs his thumbs on Adam's eyelids. "Sorry, baby." He carefully lets go and sits up. "I really don't want to go," he sighs. He looks utterly debauched, lips swollen and red, hair a complete mess, new hickeys blooming on his collarbone and right at the jut of his hip. Adam feels a pang in his chest and promises to never take any of this for granted.

He drags himself up and off the bed, fishing their clothes off the floor. He throws his Bowie shirt and Kris's pants to the general direction of the bed and then pulls on his boxers and an old button-down. "I'll get the car keys from my mom. Meet you downstairs."

Kris peers up at him. "Still no pants?"

Adam smirks. "Pants are overrated. Now get your cute butt moving."

\---

It's a two-minute drive to Kris's house, and they get there much too quickly for Adam's taste. Adam disentangles their fingers and reaches into the backseat for Kris's bag.

"Wow," Kris says. "Not even a goodbye kiss?"

Adam huffs out a laugh. "So needy." He draws Kris in, nipping on his bottom lip, tongue leisurely exploring. Kris moans and crawls across the console to drape himself on Adam's lap, all while keeping their mouths fused together.

That's another thing they haven't done - car sex. Adam slows the kiss down, nipping softly, then reluctantly pulls away. "Much as I would love to christen this car, my mom drives it," Adam rasps. "And you know I love you, but that's just..."

Adam feels Kris's giggles all along his body. "Yeah, yeah. It's late. I know you need your beauty sleep." He drops a kiss on Adam's forehead and opens the car door. Adam passes his duffel through the open window, and Kris swings it on his shoulder.

They pause for a few beats, taking each other in. Kris is beautiful under the moonlight, almost ethereal. Adam can't look away, doesn't even want to try.

He reaches his arms out the window and tugs on Kris's waist. They hug awkwardly with the car door between them for a few moments, Adam rubbing his cheek on the softness of Kris's shirt, Kris's hands playing with his hair. Kris tugs a little and Adam tips his chin up.

Kris is smiling. "Goodnight, baby. I love you."

Adam presses a kiss on Kris's stomach and looks back up. "I love you so much. Dream of me?"

Kris swoops down and kisses him, soft and sweet. "Always. Drive safe, text when you get back."

Reluctantly, Adam lets him go and starts the car. Kris walks backward to the house, eyes trained on him. Adam waves and slowly drives away.

 

* * *

 

 **loud and clear**

 

Tommy has become horrifyingly easy to spot since he dyed his hair. Kris still isn't sure what he thinks of the style change, but it makes their table ten thousand times easier to find in the crowded cafeteria, so he's grateful for at least that. He walks up with his tray, high-fives Cale and nods hello to Megan and Danielle.

"Hi baby boy," Tommy says with a smirk.

"How many times do I have to tell you - you're like two months older than me. Cut it out," Kris mock-growls. They have this conversation every single day, and neither of them really wants to stop even if the whole table just rolls their eyes at them.

He snags a carrot from Megan's salad and munches. "Do we know what we're watching tonight?"

Cale looks up from his burger. "Andrew's cousin lent him the _Star Wars_ box set," he says with a manic grin, almost vibrating with excitement.

"If we're sitting through the prequels, I'm out," Danielle declares.

Allison comes bounding to them and drops on the bench next to Tommy. "Ooh, _Star Wars_? Hayden Christensen. Mmmmm."

"All he does is scowl," Cale says.

"Yeah, scowl, and grunt, and grit his teeth. Sometimes he says words. Worst 'acting' ever," Megan adds, with finger-quotes.

Danielle rubs her chin mock-thoughtfully. "Ewan McGregor, though."

"Ewan McGregor?" Adam's voice drifts from somewhere behind Kris. " _Velvet Goldmine_ tonight?"

"Ooh, yes please!" Tommy exclaims.

Kris tilts his chin up and grins as Adam plants a quick kiss on his eyelid, then scoots to the left to make space. He frowns as Adam pries his Tupperware container open, revealing a salad. "Three days in a row of that rabbit food, babe? Really?"

Adam just rolls his eyes. "Don't you start."

Kris frowns, then cuts up his chicken breast and dumps half of it on Adam's salad. Adam squawks in protest and slaps at his hand. "What are you doing?"

"You need real food. Stop complaining," Kris says evenly.

"So, _Star Wars_?" Allison interrupts.

" _Star Wars_?" Adam mumbles around a mouthful of lettuce. "That's so nerdy, though."

"Nerdy is the new cool," Megan says. "And I vote originals. Harrison Ford is totally hotter than Hayden Christensen."

Danielle claps her hands in delight. "I'm in!"

Kris blanches when Adam dumps a third of his salad on his tray. Adam holds his hand up before he could even speak. " _You_ don't start. You need vegetables."

Allison bursts out laughing. "That's what you get, Kris."

Kris picks at the green stuff. "But --"

"Stop complaining, dude. You need it. Maybe that'll help you, y'know, grow a little taller," Cale drawls.

Kris makes a face and throws a piece of celery at him. The whole table is laughing, though, and Kris can't help but smile. "Shut up."

Adam throws his left hand across his waist and squeezes affectionately. "Don't listen to them. I think you're the perfect size," he declares and pecks him on the cheek. Kris smirks.

"Gross," Allison and Tommy groan simultaneously.

Adam just grins at them and sticks out his tongue. Kris scoots closer and slings his right leg on top of Adam's left, smiling as Adam starts rubbing his knee.

"So okay, _Star Wars_ in Alisan's basement tonight?" Megan asks.

A chorus of "yeah"s and "sure"s echo across the table.

"I'm bringing my van, y'all should meet me at my house and we'll go together," Cale offers.

"Thanks, man," Tommy says.

Allison rolls her eyes. "Alisan's fucking house."

Kris grins. "Y'know, we - and by 'we', I really mean 'you', Alli - should really be used to that already."

"It's all the way up in the mountains! So inconvenient," Allison complains.

"But that would be a _reasonable_ reaction, Kris," Danielle says before Allison can get into her patented diatribe about things being in the middle of nowhere and totally inconvenient and _we should stop going there, seriously_. "You should know better than to expect it from any of us."

"That's true," Kris laughs. He stops abruptly as he feels Adam's hand drift down his inner thigh. He pinches, hard, but Adam just smirks and continues rubbing him teasingly, thumb running up and down his inseam. He tries to pull his leg away but Adam has a pretty solid grip. The conversaion had moved on to something else - some viral video on YouTube? - but for the life of him, Kris can't concentrate. Adam looks annoyingly calm and composed, picking at his salad and chatting with Cale, and that is just so _not on_. Kris shifts a little bit so his thigh is pressed right against Adam's crotch.

Adam jerks slightly, his grip on Kris's thigh tightening. Kris smothers a grin and nonchalantly brings up his favorite flash mob dance.

He has to grip the table to keep from falling off when Adam abruptly stands up. Everyone at the table looks up at him, but Kris knows he's the only one who can tell how flustered he is.

"Hey Kris, uh... that sheet music you wanted to show me?"

"Sheet music?" Kris grins at Adam innocently.

"Yeah, uh, the one you told me about last night. That... melody line? You wanted to talk about?" Adam glares at him.

"Oh, right. The melody line. It's in my viola case in the orchestra room."

Adam narrows his eyes and tugs on his hand. "Come on, then."

Kris doesn't even try to fight his grin as he drains his orange juice and swings his backpack on his shoulder. He tightens his grip on Adam's hand and gets up. "Yeah, I'll show you that sheet music."

Tommy snorts. "Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

Allison giggles and waves them away. "Have fun, guys. Try not to injure yourselves this time."

Everyone at the table guffaws with laughter, and Kris feels a blush creep up his neck.

"You think you're so funny. See you fools later," Adam says.

Kris lets himself be dragged out of the cafeteria and be manhandled inside the nearest broom closet. It's dark and a little dank, and they accidentally knock over a huge mop. The resulting clatter is loud and people in the hallway probably know exactly what they're doing, but he just doesn't _care_. He moans as Adam pushes him against the wall and devours his lips. He lets himself get lifted up, wraps his legs around Adam's waist, revels in the feel of Adam's hands kneading his ass. He kisses back desperately, just as hungry for it, fingers gripping Adam's hair just the way he likes.

They keep at it for as long as they can, not trying all that hard to stifle their moans, Kris mindlessly rutting against Adam's stomach until finally Adam wrenches his lips away with a gasp. Adam pins him to the door and crowds him in, bumping his forehead on the wood. Kris squeezes his knees and cranes his neck, planting sloppy and wet kisses along the side of Adam's face.

"I want to take you home so bad," Adam whispers fiercely.

"I know," Kris says as he tries to soothe, rubbing Adam's arms that were shaking in their grip. The strong pull of want in his gut makes it difficult to form words, and getting out of this room and going back to class is just about the last thing he wants to do. With a deep and careful breath, he presses his face against Adam's neck and carefully climbs down. He's grateful for Adam's hands on him, keeping him steady until he can stop his legs from wobbling.

Adam starts to move side to side a little bit, gently rocking them on their toes. "Are we hitching a ride with Cale?" he murmurs after a while.

"Hmm?"

"To Alisan's? Movie night?"

"Oh, right. Uh."

After a too-long silence, Adam chuckles. "Did I render you speechless, baby? I'm just _that good_ , aren't I? Come on, you can tell me."

Kris pinches him. "Shut up."

Adam just laughs louder. "You love it."

"Daniel has the car today, so Cale's my ride. You?"

"Mom has errands to run, so yeah, me too. Bet she can drop us off at Cale's though," Adam muses as he plants kisses all along Kris's collarbone. "Ali made me promise to stay over tonight - boy troubles. Again."

Kris snorts. "As usual. So I'm not invited, then?"

Adam lifts his head and catches Kris's eye. "Sorry baby, it's just - they've been hinting all week. You know --"

Leaning up, Kris interrupts him with a kiss. "I know. It's totally okay. Charles has been nagging me, too. We're hanging out Sunday afternoon."

"Our friends are so high maintenance," Adam rolls his eyes. "You're mine Saturday, then?"

Kris smiles. "I'm yours always. But yes, Saturday too."

Adam's answering grin is brilliant, almost blinding, and it hits Kris right in his chest. He plants a kiss on Adam's cheek and bends to pick up his backpack from the floor. "Bell's ringing soon. I'll go first?"

Adam thumbs at his bottom lip. "Go ahead. See you in Calc."

 

* * *

 

 **the rising tide**

 

It's early, morning light slanting on the bedroom floor, and Adam's standing in front of the bathroom mirror, hands artfully brushing product into his hair. His eyes keep getting drawn to the streak of blue, bright against the black. He remembers the previous afternoon, sitting right at the same spot but flanked by Danielle and Allison, the sharp smell of hair dye permeating in the air. They'd made a pact to do it together, taking turns to streak their hair with different colors, a solidarity thing as much as it was an experimentation thing. He remembers Kris on his bed, stuffy and congested with a cold, sprawled on his lap and running his hands over and over in his hair, forehead scrunched up in concentration. Kris couldn't seem to stop himself from touching, rubbing Adam's hair between his fingers, playing hide and seek with the strands of blue. If he closes his eyes, he can almost feel the ghost of Kris's warm, familiar weight.

He catches his eye in the mirror and wrinkles his nose at the soppy, lovestruck look on his face. "Ridiculous," he murmurs.

After another minute of fussing, he declares himself dressed and ready for school. He's trying to find his Physics worksheet lost somewhere in the hopeless mess that is his desk when he hears his phone buzzing on the dresser. He distractedly picks it up, and jolts in surprise when he sees the name on the display.

 _Allen, Kim_

"Hi, mama," he says cheerfully.

"Good morning, Adam," her warm voice anwers. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Oh no, I've been up for a while. About to head over there, actually. What's up?"

"Oh sweetheart, Kristopher's sick. Looks like his body gave in to that cold and it turned into the flu. He won't be coming into school," she says. "The three of us decided to carpool today, so you won't have to drop by to get Daniel."

Adam's shoulders tense up, and he feels a knot of worry form in his stomach. "Is he doing okay? Is anyone staying with him?"

"He insists that he'll be fine on his own, but I'm coming back at lunch and Neil's coming home early. He has his phone, and I already talked to Mrs. Stein next door, too," she soothes, her tone calm and in control.

"Thanks for calling, mama. You didn't have to --"

"I know how you worry, Adam. It's no problem."

Adam smiles. "Thank you. Have a good day."

"You too, hon."

He stands there for a long moment, clutching his phone. Then there's a sharp knock on the door and Neil pokes his head in. "Dude. We're late."

Adam starts in surprise and starts to distractedly cram stuff into his backpack and head out the door.

"You okay?"

"Uh yeah. Kris has the flu and Daniel's riding with his parents, so we're actually early."

"Oh okay. You need me to drive?"

Adam blinks at him and takes a deep breath. _Get it together._ "I'm fine. But yeah, sure. Thanks."

He sprawls comfortably on the passenger seat and fiddles with his phone, so very tempted to call speed dial #1, suddenly feels a great need to just hear Kris's voice. But it's early, he needs his rest, it can wait. Really, it can. So instead he stares distractedly at his wallpaper -- it's a picture of the two of them together, making ridiculous faces at the camera -- and thumbs at Kris's face. He sighs and resignedly pockets his phone when Neil turns the car into the school parking lot.

\---

The day is long and weird. He feels jittery and unsettled all throughout, twitching in his seat through all of calc, staring at Kris's empty desk next to him out of the corner of his eye. He gets reprimanded by three different teachers and gets glared at by countless classmates when he starts tapping his pen on his desk. He has to stop himself from buying two bottles of water at the cafeteria line. Allison has to pinch his arm to get him to stop frowning at Scarlett, who had taken the seat next to his at the lunch table.

His cellphone doesn't leave his hand all day and he sends Kris inane texts a few times an hour in hopes of helping stave off his boredom at home.

  
_Had bacon n eggs for brkfast be proud_   


  
_Mr. K's new jacket has elbow patches i want one_   


  
_TELL ME WATCHU WANT WATCHU RLY RLY WANT_   


  
_Dickie says dani alli and i are powerpuff girls. Cass says yr monkey_   


  
_I before e except after c omg so bored i h8 grapes of wrath whyyyyyyyyyyyyy_   


  
_I miss yr stupid face_   


Kris sends him smiley faces and rows and rows of hearts, and it makes him grin.

Once the final bell rings and he's done putting his things in his locker, he makes his way to the music wing and knocks on Mr. D.'s office door.

"Adam. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Um. Hi. Just thought you should know -- Kris has the flu, so he won't be in rehearsal today."

"Oh yes, Daniel came by at lunch to let me know. Thank you," he says kindly.

"Oh. Uh, right." Adam won't blush. He _won't_. "Okay well, see you later."

He ducks out of the room and walks to the parking lot. Alisan is waiting for him beside his car. "Mind giving me a ride, superstar?" she grins up at him.

Adam fondly tousles her hair. "Where's the harem of boys clamoring for your attention? They can play chauffeur, not me."

"I do not --" she's interrupted by her phone ringing, and she holds up a finger in front of his face.

Adam bats it away, laughing. He glances down at his own phone, lightly touching the call button, getting ready to press speed dial #1 --

But then, Alisan's tugging on his sleeve. "Change of plans. Alli and Cass want to get froyo. You in?"

He smiles as he pops his car door open. "Rain check? Gotta play nurse for my boy."

"Kinky. Tell him we say hi," she says next to his ear as she leans up for a kiss.

"See you tomorrow, hon."

\---

To Adam's relief, the family car is parked in the drieway. The front door is locked, so he makes his way around the house and into the backyard, grinning when he sees the kitchen door propped open. Mr. Allen is at the sink, washing a set of bowls. He turns at Adam's first knock.

"Hi, Adam."

Adam ducks his head sheepishly as he steps inside. "Hey, dad. I swear I'm not a creeper -- I just didn't want to ring the bell in case Kris was asleep."

Mr. Allen just shakes his head and smiles. "It's no problem. Come in, son. Do you want something to eat? There's pie in the fridge, help yourself."

"Maybe later, thank you. Is he upstairs?"

"Yes, he's been napping off and on. The cold medicine makes him sleepy. His temperature's down, and he says he feels better." Mr. Allen busies himself with preparing a tray, pulling out a bottle of water and two packets of crackers from a cupboard. "Go on up and bring this to him, would you? Kim said he hasn't eaten since lunch."

"Of course," Adam says. Mr. Allen squeezes his shoulder and heads into the living room as Adam pads quietly up the stairs. The door to Kris's room is ajar, and Adam knocks primly before pushing it open.

The curtains are drawn and the only light in the room is coming from the bedside lamp. There are tissues strewn all over the floor, three empty water bottles and various medicine containers standing on the dresser. Kris is half-sitting against the headboard, fast asleep. His phone is clutched in his left hand and his laptop open on his right, on the bed - upon closer inspection, Adam sees that he'd been watching SNL on Hulu. His heart skitters in his chest when he sees that Kris is wearing Adam's Stones shirt.

Adam moves around the room as quietly as he could, carefully throwing the discarded tissues and water bottles in the wastebasket, placing the tray on the now-empty bedside table. Then he gingerly climbs into bed - freezing for a handful of seconds when Kris snuffles in his sleep - and pulls the laptop toward him, opening up his email.

He's in the middle of typing up a proper response to Brad forwarding him a Viagra ad when he feels a warm weight settle on his shoulder. He lifts his arm and wraps it around Kris, sweeping away the damp hair on his forehead. He ducks down a little to let his lips land on alarmingly hot skin.

Kris sighs into his neck. "You're here," he mumbles.

"Mmhmm."

"M'sick."

"I know, baby," Adam says. "Do you want some water?"

Kris swallows loudly. "Please?"

Adam reaches behind him to grab a water bottle and Kris downs about half of it before settling back in.

"There's crackers here too, your dad said you need to eat."

"Maybe later."

"You sure?"

"M'not hungry," Kris manages before he lets out a string of wracking coughs. Kris sits up and leans forward on his knees, turning his head away and covering his mouth with a hastily-grabbed towel. He curls into himself while his whole body shudders, and Adam winces at the awful sound. He holds Kris still and rubs his back all through the ordeal.

When Kris is done, he shudders out a sigh and collapses back onto the bed, head on Adam's lap while the rest of him curls into a ball. Adam frowns and _hmm_ s his sympathy, carding his hands through his hair. He tamps down a wave of irrational annoyance at his helplessness, and just keeps rubbing Kris's back, hoping to at least give him some semblance of comfort. When shudders give way to soft and easy breaths, Adam sighs with relief.

"More water?" Adam asks.

Kris shakes his head then twists around, pressing his face into Adam's stomach. "Sorry I'm so gross."

"Oh baby, of course not," Adam says, lightly tugging at Kris's hair in an attempt to hammer down the point. "I wish I could help more."

Kris blindly gropes for his hand and squeezes. "Glad you're here. Missed you," he sighs.

"I missed you too."

They're quiet for a while after that, and Kris falls back asleep a few minutes later, breaths wet and warm through Adam's shirt. Adam pulls the laptop back toward him, emailing and browsing with his right hand, his left still clasped on Kris's chest. Alisan texts him a couple times just to check in, tries to coax him into a movie, but he just says no. He feels like it should be a little bizarre that he's more than happy to just curl up in bed with his sick boyfriend that he can't even really be much help to than to maybe hang out with his friends or stay in his own, comfortable, non-disease-carrying bedroom. It should be weird, but it isn't, and after the day he spent fretting and freaking out, all the comfort in the world is in Kris's weight slumped against him, surrounded by Kris's things, unflinchingly welcomed by Kris's parents as just another caretaker. He doesn't even really mind Kris drooling on his shirt.

The sun has completely set and the laptop on the verge of shutting down when Kim pokes her head in and pads quietly to the dresser, holding a tray topped with a bowl of soup and a plate of lasagna.

"Dinner," she smiles.

Adam grins back gratefully. "Thank you. He's been sleeping the whole time."

"He's exhausted. All that coughing kept him awake most of the night," she says, palming the side of Kris's face gently. "Kristopher, you need to eat. Wake up, sweetheart."

Kris snuffles a little and opens his eyes. "Mmmph."

"Dinner. Then medicine. Then you can sleep as long as you want," Kim says softly.

"'kay," Kris says and slowly pulls himself upright. Adam keeps an arm on his elbow and guides him to the headboard, smoothing the blanket down on his lap. Kris tugs on his shirt. "Don't leave."

"I won't, babe. Now eat," Adam soothes, setting the tray on the bed.

Kim smiles and squeezes Adam's hand before leaving the room. Kris slowly inhales the soup and crackers, looking more and more energized with every bite. Adam smiles fondly, relieved, and eats. Kris pouts masterfully when Adam makes him drink his meds, swallowing them down with a childish grimace.

"Good boy," Adam croons, dropping a kiss on his forehead. Still warmer than normal, but a little better.

"M'not a baby," Kris sighs indignantly, his protest immediately rendered useless when he yawns, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, looking for all the world like a sleepy little puppy.

Adam stifles a laugh and kisses him again. Then he carefully shifts off the bed, tugging on Kris's hand. "Up. Your shirt's - _my_ shirt's - soaked through. You need to change."

Kris follows obediently and squints up at him. "I like this shirt."

"I know, baby. You look better in it than I do. Hold on." Adam opens Kris's closet door and raises an eyebrow at the neatness, figuring Kim had fixed it up earlier in the day. He grabs the rattiest shirt he could find and throws it over his shoulder. He tugs the Stones shirt up and over Kris's head and carefully wipes the sweat off his chest and back, dropping a kiss on his collarbone before tugging the fresh shirt down. Kris is pliant all throughout, sighing happily under his ministrations, murmuring a soft _thank you_ into his neck when Adam pulls him into a hug.

Adam draws in a deep breath and tries not to crush Kris with his grip, relishing the contact. _All the comfort in the world._

From this close, Adam can hear the worrying rattle of Kris's breath in his chest, and sighs at the thought of Kris probably having to miss school for the rest of the week. He writes up lists in his head, classmates and teachers he'll talk to for notes and homework; mentally rearranges his sleep schedule and absently strategizes his transportation pitch to Neil so he can stop by in the morning; cringes and clings harder at the thought of a couple more endless days like this one, roaming the halls and sitting in classrooms feeling like he's lost a limb. Adam sighs again and Kris murmurs soothingly, arms tightening around him.

When Kris muffles a yawn into his chin, Adam shuffles them forward and gently lays Kris back down. He lets out an unhappy noise and grabs at Adam's arm. "Stay."

Adam shushes him and climbs into bed. "I'll be here 'til you fall asleep. Close your eyes."

Kris curls an arm around his waist and settles in. "So good to me. Love you so much," he murmurs.

"I love you too," Adam says, and he lays there for a long time, listening to the sound of their breathing.

 

* * *

 

 **bookends, part 1**

 

Kris is hurrying down the stairs when he hears the familiar sound of the car honking on the sidewalk.

"C'mon, Daniel!" he yells in the general direction of his bedroom.

He swings the front door open and picks up his things, looking up just in time to see Neil slam the backseat door. He walks up to the car and grins when he sees Adam sitting in the driver's seat, fussing with his hair. He pulls the passenger door open and gingerly slides in, careful not to let his viola case hit anything, setting it on the floor and cradling it between his knees. Once he's settled, he tips his head to the side and smiles indulgently at the sight of Adam smudging his eyeliner with an extended pinkie, nearly pressed nose-to-nose with his reflection in the rearview mirror.

"Hey Kris, did you --"

"Oh yeah, hold on." He leans forward to pull out the sheet music he'd promised to lend Neil. "You can keep it, I have another copy in my music locker."

"Thanks, man. Thought I should practice with these for my audition next month," Neil says.

"No problem. Let me know if you need help with it. There's this really tricky part in the bridge, and the coda gets a little weird. Took me a while to straighten it out."

"Yeah sure, thanks."

When Kris twists back to face the front of the car, he catches Adam looking at him. "Hi baby," he says, smiling.

Kris grins back. "Hey." They both lean in for a soft, chaste kiss, Adam's hand coming up to grip the back of his neck.

"Mmm. Good morning."

"Morning. I like your hair," Kris smiles.

His seat shifts suddenly, and the car is filled with the smell of newly-toasted Pop Tarts. Daniel slams the door closed. "Sorry, we're running track in PE this morning. Can't skip breakfast."

"No big," Adam says as he pulls away from Kris and restarts the car. Once they're moving, Kris reaches over and twines their fingers together. Adam squeezes and rests their hands on his knee. They drive silently for a bit, Kris squinting behind his glasses at the sun hitting his eyes directly. He mentally runs through his day, makes sure he didn't forget to bring or do anything for his classes; reminds himself to talk to Andrew about the new electric he was supposed to get yesterday; also to get two cobblers at lunch because they ran out early last time, and he doesn't like when Adam pouts.

When the school facade becomes visible, Adam lifts their joined hands and presses a kiss on his knuckles, gently laying Kris's hand back on his own lap. Adam uses both hands to turn into the lot and smoothly parks the car in the first empty spot he finds.

"Six thirty, Adam," Neil says before climbing out. Daniel swings his legs out of the car and then shoves a half-finished Pop-Tart at Kris's nose. Kris fumbles to catch it before it falls on his lap.

"Uh, thanks?" Kris says as he takes a bite.

"Mom said to tell you - bleachers at six," Daniel says before he slams the door shut.

Kris offers up the last bit of Pop-Tart left. Adam happily takes it in his mouth, nipping at his fingers.

Once Adam's done chewing, Kris tugs at Adam's sleek leather jacket. "I don't know how you can always wear so many layers. It's not even that cold out."

"It's called having a sense of style, baby. One you could really use, honestly," Adam says.

"Ouch. You love me and my style."

"No, I love you _despite_ your complete lack of style. There's a difference," Adam smirks at him.

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that. And don't change the subject."

"I don't even know what we're talking about."

"You. And your jackets. Why don't you want to wear short sleeves?" Kris tugs at it again, laughing when Adam swats his hand away.

"Well, it's weird! Like I'm so exposed," Adam says as he checks his hair in the mirror again. "Why are you fussing?"

"I'm not fussing! I'm just saying. I dunno why you don't want people to see your elbows or whatever."

"My elbows?" Adam snorts.

"Yeah, your elbows. _I_ like them."

Adam just goggles at him for a couple seconds, then shakes his head. "I like _you_ , you weirdo," Adam murmurs as he kisses his cheek.

Kris turns his head and thumbs at the freckles on Adam's neck. "I like your pointy elbows. And your freckles," he whispers before leaning in and swiping his tongue along the seam of Adam's lips. They kiss languidly, breaths mingling, pressed as close as they can with the console between them. After a few long moments, Adam pulls away, nipping at his bottom lip.

"Well I like your elbows too," Adam says. "And the freckles only I can see."

Kris grins and pokes Adam on the nose, stupidly glad that he went along with this silly conversation. He grabs his bag and gets out of the car, hooking his stuff on his shoulders and slamming the door closed. He makes his way to the other side of the car and leans on the backseat door, watches Adam mess with his things and get out.

Adam slams the driver's door shut, then immediately turns to brace his hands on either side of Kris's head. Kris lets his viola case lean on the car and reaches out to tug on Adam's belt loops. He kisses back happily, enjoying the press of Adam's body against his, reaching up under his jacket to toy with soft skin.

The sound of a couple catcalls makes them break apart, Kris blushing to the roots of his hair, Adam unfazed, laughing and throwing the finger over his shoulder.

Adam kisses his forehead and draws him into a tight hug. Kris squeezes hard around his waist. "See you at lunch," he feels - more than hears - Adam murmur at his temple.

Kris _hmm_ s and presses a kiss on his neck. "Save you a seat. Love you."

"I love you too. Try not to fall asleep in Lit."

Kris snorts as he pulls away and picks up his things. "Easier said than done. Mr. B. is like a human Ambien pill."

Adam laughs and squeezes his hand. "Well try. See you, baby."

"See you." Kris walks backward a few steps, watches Adam glide to the arts building. Adam turns and waves, as if feeling Kris's eyes on him.

Kris grins and waves back. It's a great start to the day.

 

* * *

 

 **bookends, part 2**

 

"Of course not," Adam says indignantly, rolling his eyes when he hears the crackle of Alisan's laugh through the phone line. He scratches at his knee idly, eyeing his toenails with a frown. He'd have to retouch soon. He spots the bottle of remover right on his desk, but he's loath to get off the bed to get it.

Snorting at Alisan's flaily recap of a short conversation she had with Will that morning, Adam looks up to see Kris standing at his bedroom door. He feels a silly grin spread on his face and waves him in.

It's impossible to keep his attention on anything else when Kris is casually stripping off his hoodie and toeing off his shoes, slinking toward the bed with a raised eyebrow and his crooked smile. Breathing properly becomes difficult when Kris crawls up the bed and onto his lap, nonchalantly nibbling on his free earlobe in lieu of a greeting.

He sighs and pulls Kris closer, tilting his head for better access, hand drifting up Kris's shirt and toying with bare skin.

"Adam? Adam, are you there?" Alisan yells into his ear. Adam's so startled, his head snaps up and he almost drops the phone.

"Yeah, I'm here," he says breathlessly, glaring at Kris's self-satisfied smirk.

"Were you even listening to me?"

"Of course I was. Will's adorable, you're going out tonight, blah blah blah, I really think you should wear those heels with your new dress," Adam rattles off. He swallows a gasp when Kris starts kissing up his neck.

"Won't the heels be overkill, though? And dude, I was done talking about Will, like, five minutes ago. I just asked you if you'd talked to Brad lately. Cass is freaked out about something but he won't say."

Adam blushes and forcibly pushes Kris away with his hand. Kris pouts and squeezes his knees, lays his hand on Adam's hip instead, teasing with his fingers and smirking at Adam's sharp intake of breath. Smug bastard. Adam slaps his hands away and takes both of his wrists in a strong grip. Kris's eyes widen at that, mouth going slack. _Oh._

He clears his throat. "Those heels are totally hot, if Will thinks they're overkill, he's not worth it. And no, I haven't talked to Brad recently. Did Cass hint at anything specific?"

"No, he's just been pouting a lot the last couple days. Maybe ice cream will make him spill," Alisan says. "You okay over there, space cadet?"

Kris is squirming in his lap, staring at his captured hands. Adam squeezes experimentally and Kris's tongue darts out to wet his lips. _Jesus._ "Yeah. Uh. Sorry hon, I have an intruder in my room," he says, watching Kris's eyes glaze over when he tightens his grip.

Alisan's little laugh gusts over the line. "Hi, Kris."

"Hi Ali," Kris says into the receiver, voice scratchy and deep.

"Okay I'll talk to you tomorrow," Alisan then says. "You better be ready for a full-on breakdown of my date tonight. Bye!"

"Have fun!" Adam manages before dropping the cordless phone and catching Kris's lips in a deep kiss.

Kris groans, wrists twisting. Adam just hitches him closer, dips his tongue in his mouth and hums. "I learn something new about you every day, baby," he gasps as they pull apart.

Kris wrenches away from his grip and cups his face, head dipping forward. "Just found out about it myself," he murmurs between hot, wet kisses. "We should try that out next time we're free all day."

"Can't wait." They keep kissing, and Adam chases the taste of flour and vanilla from Kris's tongue. "Your mom made pie?" he breathes, tongue dipping over and over, licking it away.

"Got you a slice," Kris says, pulling away a little. "In my bag. You want?"

Adam shakes his head. "Want you first."

Kris smiles and rolls off of him, spreading himself out on the bed. Adam follows immediately, pausing for a second to take a long look at the line of Kris's body, then sprawls on top of him, sighing when Kris opens his legs. They continue to kiss, soft and deliberate, lazy and slow and deep. Kris's arms come up to wrap around his neck, knee rubbing idly against his hip. Adam's hand fumbles under Kris's shirt, toying with his nipples, while Kris's drifts down to palm his ass.

In some unspoken agreement, they don't go much further than that. They just keep kissing, mapping out every crevice in each other's mouth, taking turns sucking each other's tongue, nipping at each other's lips when they need to catch their breath. Adam pays special attention to the roof of Kris's mouth, running his tongue over and over, knowing from their very first kiss that it's extra sensitive, feels it all along his body when Kris groans in appreciation. He can't help but shudder when Kris's hand comes up to grip his hair just the way he likes. Adam _loves_ this, loves that none of it is new but it never, ever gets old, wanting Kris like this, swallowing down the gorgeous little sounds he makes, giving themselves to each other this way.

Their shirts come off eventually, and Kris happily laps at Adam's shoulder, sucking bruises in places he knows nobody else will see. Adam drifts downward to tongue languidly at the scar on Kris's stomach, smirking when Kris bucks beneath him. They roll on their sides after a while, legs tangled together, lips still sealed and hands exploring. They kiss and grope and idly thrust at each other, and Adam is reminded of the first time, marvels at how _hot_ it still is, just moving their bodies in this rhythm that's tattooed on their skin. It's all so sweet and lazy and slow that before Adam knows it, Kris is going rigid against him, hips moving erratically, lips going slack. He kisses Kris through the orgasm, noting with mild surprise that he's almost at the edge too, and when Kris catches his breath and leans forward to suck at _that spot_ on his neck, hips tilted just right, he's coming in his pants as well.

He tucks his face in Kris's neck and tries to catch his breath, Kris's hand rubbing wide circles on his back. When Kris noses at his temple and makes a soft sound, Adam tips his head back for a soft, sweet kiss.

"You're 'mazing," Kris mumbles into his skin, dropping small kisses on his cheek.

"Back atcha, baby," Adam says as he snuggles closer. "Love you."

"Love you."

They're quiet for a little bit, and just as Adam's about to start up another round, Kris chuckles against his throat.

"Shoulda thought this through," he whispers.

"Mmm?"

"Pants."

"Oh." Adam looks down and -- uh. Right. They're both still in their jeans, cleanup long overdue. "Your fault. Couldn't even wait for me to finish talking before you crawled all over me. _Seduced_ me, even."

Kris laughs softly, breath tickling Adam's face. "You don't need seducing, love."

"True. Yeah okay, this is a little gross, come on."

"Come on where?" Kris asks, nose wrinkling as Adam pulls away.

"Shower."

Kris's eyes brighten at that. "I like how you think," he says as he gets up and shucks the rest of his clothes off, all but running to the bathroom door.

Adam takes a second to admire the view before he scrambles off the bed and follows.

 

* * *

 

 **spun inside my heart**

 

It's a gorgeous Friday afternoon, he's surrounded by some of his best friends in the world, Adam's arms are draped over him like a warm and cuddly backpack, and Kris thinks life really can't get any better than this.

Except Ryland's suddenly frowning. "What is it?" Kris asks, interrupting Alisan and Tommy's gossip.

"We're gonna have trouble if all of us are going for pizza. I brought my drums today," Ryland says, squinting at the semicircle they'd formed.

"Your van seats ten, right?" Cale asks.

"Yeah. But with the drums, it's down to six. Maybe seven if we get creative with the squeezing," Ryland answers, forehead wrinkling.

"Oh, no problem. I can take Kris. And one of you guys can take Alisan," Adam says completely casually, like it was something he said every day.

Kris cranes his neck to peer up at him. "I'm sorry, what?"

Adam rolls his eyes and digs his chin into Kris's shoulder. "Sit on my lap. Cale or whoever can take Alisan. Then there's Dani, Brad, Tommy, Lee, Ryland, and Andrew. No sweat. Brad and Tommy make, like, one person anyway, so we'll be comfortable."

"Allison's not coming?" Tommy asks.

"I think Matt ambushed her and dragged her around for some shopping. They'll meet us there," Adam says.

"Okay, so this is all of us, then? Let's load up," Andrew claps his hands and picks up his backpack.

"Hoooooold on," Brad sing-songs. "How come Adam gets to decide for all of us? What if _I_ want to sit on Cale's lap?"

The whole group bursts out laughing. Cale looks at Brad and raises his eyebrow challengingly. "I see," he says. "I knew you weren't immune to my studly charm. I just knew it. Come on, then."

"Wait! I'm offended," Alisan mock-pouts. "Just like that, Cale? Do I mean nothing to you? I'm defenseless against this twink."

"I'll let you sit on my lap, Ali," Danielle pipes up with a little grin.

Kris bent over laughing at that one, disengaging Adam's arms around him. The hysterical laughter of the rest of the group just makes everything more hilarious, and it's a while before any of them can stop.

"Well now I'm jealous of all the action you guys are getting," Ryland says, cheeky. "Anyone wanna hop up front with me?"

"I'd totally do it. Too bad it'd get us arrested, so next time, maybe," Tommy winks. "Come on, this'll be fun."

They pile in the van carefully, Ryland at the driver's seat with Andrew and all of their backpacks up front; Adam, Danielle and Tommy sitting on the first row; Cale and Lee at the back, heads ducked, trying hard not to get hit by the cymbals. Kris relaxes into Adam's chest, long since used to sitting this way; Alisan is elevated next to him, her hand ghosting on his forearm in case she overbalances. Brad is right behind them, gleefully making lewd jokes about Cale's shoe size and how big shoes mean... big feet.

Adam's giggling into his neck and Kris sighs deeply, feeling mellow and blissed out. Right as they turn the corner from the school parking lot, Adam jumps under him. "What the fuck, Brad?"

"Won't your precious boy switch with me, superstar? Damn, I wish I'd thought of this earlier. I want to tell everybody that I rode the _great_ Adam Lambert," Brad crows.

Kris huffs and pulls Adam's arms more tightly around him. "Don't you even start, Brad."

"Ooh, baby boy's getting snitty!" Tommy cries. "Catfight in Ryland's van!"

Kris grins as he feels Adam's rumbling laugh against him. "In your dreams, Bradley," Adam says.

"Oh, I've _def_ initely been having dreams, baby," Brad coos. "Very hot, very _wet_ dreams. I'm up for a demonstration if you are."

The rest of the van all but collapse in helpless laughter as Kris sits up straight and pins Brad with his most menacing glare. Which is to say, it really wasn't menacing at all. "Believe me, not even your wildest dreams even compare to the real thing."

"Oh, snap!" Alisan gleefully cheers as she claps her hands. "This is exactly why I love you, Kris."

Adam pulls him back into his chest and nips at his ear. "Mmm, you're my favorite."

"Damn right. I'd fight you for him, Brad, but I'm pretty sure I've already won."

\---

They eventually make it to the pizza place and tumble out of the van in a not-so-graceful heap. Cale goes up to high-five Kris as Adam gives Brad a noogie, immediately jumping away when Brad playfully attempts to snag at his belt loops. Kris mock-growls at Brad then turns and tangles his fingers with Adam's, stumbling inside the pizza parlor. They spot Matt and a pouting Allison at a booth and drop down beside them.

"This guy torture you this afternoon, baby girl?" Adam laughs as he pulls on Kris's right leg to sling it over his left.

"You don't even _know_ , man. He must have tried out, like, ten thousand fedoras. Fedoras aren't even _cool_ ," Allison grumbles as she slaps at Matt's shoulder.

"Fedoras? Really?" Kris asks with a wrinkled nose.

"Oh, like _you're_ some kind of fashion guru, Kristopher," Matt says.

Kris laughs good-naturedly. "But even _I_ know that it's not a good idea. How about that."

"What's not a good idea?" Alisan pipes up as she slides in next to Matt.

"Matt is trying to make fedoras happen," Adam says wryly. "Tell him it's not a good idea, Ali."

"It's definitely not a good idea," Alisan, Danielle, Brad and Tommy say simultaneously.

The guys drag another table to connect with the one they already had, and they manage to squeeze together into one jumbled, noisy mess. Kris converses lightly with Allison about her new Biology teacher, just enjoying the endearing cacophony of voices around him and the warmth of Adam's hands cupped around his knee. As usual, it takes them fifteen minutes to decide what to order, and another five to sort out what they'll each be drinking. Kris thinks that after just about their entire teenage lives of Friday nights like these, they really should have it down by now. But just like the fights they have over what to watch on movie nights, this is another one of their traditions, and Kris just has to sit back and smile.

He looks up at Adam's voice in his ear. "You're quiet."

Kris gives him a smile and a shrug. "Just enjoying the atmosphere."

"Atmosphere? You mean a dozen of us yelling over each other and having at least five different conversations at once?"

"Yeah, exactly," Kris grins and leans in to brush a soft kiss against his lips.

They both look up at Alisan's loud squawk of indignation. "Hey hey hey! None of that in here! There are _rules_ ," she says very seriously.

"Right, rules!" Brad cries from beside Cale, all the way at the other end of the table. "You know what, I think Kris and I should switch seats. So this will _never happen again_ ," he says, eyes twinkling.

Kris just laughs. "Nice try."

"You lose, Brad. I think _I_ should switch seats with Kris," Tommy says earnestly. "I'll protect Adam's virtue."

Their table explodes with the loudest burst of laughter of the night. Allison pounds her fist on the table, tears running down her cheeks. Adam tilts his body completely into Kris, giggling hard, and Kris leans back into him.

"That's rich, Tommy," Andrew says dryly.

"What? That wasn't a joke," Tommy winks.

"Sorry boys, this little one's got first dibs," Adam says as he wraps his arm around Kris's shoulder and pulls so they're leaning on the back of the booth.

"So there's second and third dibs, huh?" Danielle asks.

"Yeah, and I got those too," Kris smirks. "I have _all_ the dibs."

"That's my boy," Adam murmurs, just for him to hear.

The group laughs again, then the conversation switches to Megan's budding romance with Anoop.

"Seriously, 'Noopie's cool. He's smart and funny, and she'll make him lighten up. They'll be good for each other," Matt says.

"He can't be that cool if he lets you call him 'Noopie," Lee deadpans. "I mean, come on."

Matt laughs. "Nah, he hates it. I only do it to annoy him."

"Anoop's good people," Cale pipes up. "And he's really, _really_ into Megan."

"Yeah, don't tell him, but Megan's crazy about him. It's hilarious," Allison says.

"That little player," Adam says. "Wasn't she all about that Jonathan guy just last month?"

Tommy laughs and says "Human beings were never meant to have just one partner. Monogamy is so overrated. Take note, Lambert. And you, Cherry."

"Shut up," Adam and Lee say simultaneously.

Kris just laughs and takes a sip from Adam's drink. "Where's Scarlett tonight, Lee?"

Lee smiles ruefully. "She's taking this fancy new art class. There's college credits, but the teacher can only take them Friday and Saturday nights."

"Bummer," Andrew says.

"So she's getting serious about RISD, huh?" Ryland muses. "Good for her."

"Yeah, it's pretty awesome," Lee says with a little grin.

Danielle put her chin in her hands and coos. "Scarlett tells me you're having dinner at her house every night just so you can spend some time together."

"Awwwww," the table cries in unison.

Lee rolls his eyes. "Yeah yeah, you're all hilarious."

The pizza arrives then, and, as they do with everything else, they bicker over who gets which slices.

"I will never understand why anybody would want pineapples on their pizza," Danielle grimaces.

"Yeah well, I don't get why anyone would want disgusting fish on theirs," Matt sasses.

"Anchovies should be made illegal," Cale says and gives Matt an air-five.

"Preach," Kris murmurs as he picks out all the olives off his slice and dumps it on Adam's.

"You and your olives," Adam smiles at him indulgently.

"They look like little eyeballs," Kris frowns. "I don't get what _you_ have against onions."

"Yeah? Well unlike you, I have a little respect for the person who's gonna be kissing me goodnight," Adam says.

Mid-bite, Kris's eyes widen in surprise. He puts down his half-eaten slice. "Wait, what -- you've never said anything!"

"I didn't want to seem like a jerk!"

"Seriously? You mean every -- even on our first _date_?!" Kris shrills.

Adam just shushes him when the whole table falls silent. "I was teasing. You're fine. Eat your food."

A loud giggle bursts out of Brad. "You're so adorable it's gross."

Kris pouts as he picks off all the onions from his pizza. "Stupid onions. Stupid, stupid boyfriends," he mutters.

Adam drops a kiss on his head. "You're so cute when you pout."

"I'm not talking to you anymore," Kris says as he scoots closer to Matt.

It's Adam's turn to roll his eyes outrageously. "Stop being a brat. Get back here," he says as he tugs on Kris's leg and slings it back on top of his. "I love your onion breath."

Kris's can't help but laugh at that. "You're ridiculous."

An hour passes as the group continue to laugh and eat and rib each other as lifelong friends are wont to do. It's a good time, it always is, and they always leave a big enough tip so the people who run the place always just indulge their general ruckus.

Lee leaves close to eight, heading back to school to pick up Scarlett. Matt takes off soon after, calling it an early night. Tommy and the girls hitch with him, all living in the same side of town. Then there's just six of them left, Cale and Andrew huddling together in conversation while Ryland talks to his brother on the phone. Adam is pressed up against Kris, clasping his hand, fingers carefully touching the new callouses on his skin. His forehead is scrunched up in concentration, as if trying to commit them to memory. Kris looks up distractedly as Brad plops down next to him.

"Hello, Kristopher."

"Hi, Bradley."

"You're a really bad sharer, you know."

"Oh? How's that?"

"Adam."

"Sorry, Adam's non-negotiable," Kris smirks.

"It's a shame that hot piece of ass is being kept on such a tight leash," Brad says nonchalantly, examining his nails. "A simple makeout session is all I'm asking for here. Well. Maybe two."

Kris laughs. "Oh, man. You just lost any chance you had there, champ."

Adam smirks and nips at Kris's knuckles. "There was never a chance. But 'piece of ass'? Really, Brad? Like saying that would make me drop my pants right here?"

Kris leans in to kiss his cheek. "Your ass is the hottest ass, babe," he says facetiously.

"Come on, don't be such a prude," Brad frowns.

"Oh, I'm the farthest thing from a prude, Bradley," Adam smirks. "My dear Kristopher here can attest to that. I like being objectified just as much as the next person, but y'know, I have other assets too."

"Life should just be about _fun_ , Adam. We're young and beautiful and free. All that... touchy-feely stuff? Way overrated," Brad says with a grimace.

Adam just sighs, impatient. "You mean real feelings? Building an emotional connection? Sorry Brad, but if I'm going to have a fling, it's not gonna be with someone who just wants to tap this." Adam grins and thumbs away the wrinkles that appear on Kris's forehead. "You know better than to worry about _that_ , baby."

"You talk like you've been thinking about this," Kris says, trying to tamp down the suddenly cold feeling in his chest.

"Well, yeah. I've thought about how there's nobody in the world who could ever tempt me to cheat," Adam smiles. Well. That makes Kris feel a little better. Kind of.

"Jeez guys," Cale pipes up. "Can't we go more than ten minutes without you slobbering all over each other?"

Kris kisses Adam's palm and turns to them. "Who's slobbering?"

Brad rolls his eyes. "The two of you are freakish."

"The two of _us_ are leaving now," Adam says as he stands. "Mom's taking us out for ice cream, she said Moe's at eight thirty."

"Awesome." Kris pulls on his backpack and gives hugs all around the table. "See you Monday, guys."

They stop right at the door, Kris grinning and enjoying the attention as Adam fusses with his jacket, tugging it in place and and zipping it up to his chin. Kris steals a small kiss and then holds the door open for Adam, easily falling into step with him and threading their fingers together. They're three restaurants from the ice cream parlor when an unnaturally strong breeze ruffles their hair, and Adam automatically swings his arm around Kris's shoulders, absorbing his shivers.

"I'm gonna get you a thicker jacket," Adam says, not quite recoiling when Kris's cold nose touches his neck.

"S'fine," Kris murmurs. "Got you to keep me warm."

Adam _hmm_ s happily and hauls Kris impossibly closer. They continue walk a few more steps and enter Moe's, and Kris smiles as Adam runs his warm hands over Kris's ears and neck. After a few seconds, he steps in for a hug and whispers a quiet _thank you_ into Adam's shoulder. They slide into an empty booth and Adam tucks Kris into his side, breathing endearments into his hair as he continues to rub down his arms and tries to warm his hands. Kris turns his head and draws Adam into a slow, soft kiss.

"I'm keeping you forever," Kris breathes as they pull apart.

Adam's smile is big and brilliant, his thumb coming up to rub at Kris's bottom lip. "You'll never get rid of me."

Kris's tongue darts out and licks at Adam's thumb, and Kris smiles as Adam's eyes suddenly darken. He opens his mouth to suck at it when suddenly Adam recoils, his eyes flying to the door. Neil and Leila enter, Neil's voice booming in the mostly-empty store, saying something about extra toppings.

"Hey boys," Leila says as she slides in the seat across Adam.

"Hi mom," Adam chokes out before letting out a string of coughs.

Kris rubs Adam's back and smiles at Leila. "Hi, mom."

"You getting sick, Adam?" Leila asks with a furrowed brow.

"No I'm fine, just... breathed wrong," Adam wheezes.

"Still up for ice cream?"

"Of course."

Leila hands him a couple of bills, then Adam stands and tugs at Kris's hand, and they make their way to the counter.

"Do you still want ice cream, babe?" Adam asks.

Kris looks up at the menu casually. "Yeah. I'm all hot and bothered now," he says.

Adam giggles and checks his hip. "It's your own fault. And shut up, my brother will hear you."

"You guys talkin' 'bout me?" Neil asks, holding a tray with an enormous banana split on top.

"Mind your own business," Adam says. Neil just shrugs and walks to their table.

"Do you wanna share a big one?" Kris asks.

Adam raises his eyebrow. "Oh I want a big one, alright."

Kris muffles his giggles into Adam's shoulder. "Oh gosh, stop. Your mother is _right there_."

" _You_ stop being so suggestive!" Adam says. "Okay, a large sundae, the works?"

"Yeah, sounds good. Extra rainbow sprinkles please."

"You're such a little kid, it's adorable."

"Shut up, you like them too."

"Never said I didn't," Adam smiles.

They lean on each other as they wait for their order. Kris picks up the tray and heads back to the table while Adam gets a couple glasses of water and a wad of tissues. They slide back into the booth, and Kris automatically slings his right leg over Adam's left, grinning when Adam doesn't even have to think to drape his free hand on Kris's knee.

"You're trespassing!" Adam exclaims as Kris takes a particularly large spoonful of sundae.

"Am not," Kris mumbles.

"That bit of syrup was the line of demarcation, and you clearly spooned past it! Unfair!"

"Stop making up words."

"Boys, behave," Leila says with a smile. "Tell me about your day."

"Mine was okay, I bombed on a surprise calc quiz but Mrs. K said it didn't count anyway. And dinner was fun," Adam says.

"Oh of course it was," Kris mutters, rolling his eyes with a sarcastic smile.

Neil lights up at that, grinning. "Ooh, intrigue."

Kris smirks and reaches under the table, pushes his fingers between Adam's. "Nah, I was kidding. Adam _did_ spend the whole dinner getting propositioned by half the table."

Adam sputters. "You liar! It was _two_ people. And it was mostly Brad anyway, so that doesn't even count."

"How so?" Leila asks, not even trying to hide her grin. Neil raises an eyebrow at Adam, still smirking.

"Brad hits on everyone," Adam says, rolling his eyes fondly. "It's never serious. He just loves when he gets under people's skin."

"Ha, yeah, he even hits on _me_ ," Neil groans. "He has a pretty good leer."

Kris laughs. "Yeah, and that eyebrow has, like, a mind of its own. Magical powers."

"He's always been a little sweet-talker, even back when you were kids," Leila recalls, an affectionate dip in her voice. "It'd be weird to see him settled down, even if that's still pretty far off."

"Oh I think he'll meet his match someday. He won't know what hit him."

\---

Adam pushes Kris into the backseat of the car, plopping down beside him with a sigh. Kris curls around Adam's left arm and tips his head on his shoulder, grinning as Adam starts humming along to the song on the radio.

"Are we taking you home, Kris?" Leila asks.

"I have a few hours before my curfew, I'd like to stay at your place for a bit, if that's okay?" Kris asks politely.

"You didn't need to ask, honey," Leila smiles and pulls away from the lot.

"Hey Neil, how'd your audition go?" Adam pipes up.

"Think it went well. I wasn't too nervous," Neil says, air drumming absently on the dashboard.

"Who else auditioned for piano?"

"Nicole something, she's a sophomore too. And this freshman showed up, she was pretty good. And some junior who was so _badass_ , kept playing these classic jazz stuff while we were waiting. Good thing they're taking two people, or I wouldn't even stand a chance."

Kris smiles encouragingly. "Try not to worry too much, I'm sure you did great. Did Mr. D. say anything to you?"

"Nah, he didn't really say anything to anyone."

"Okay, yeah, he tries not to give away too much during auditions. Except if you really suck."

"Well, that's encouraging," Neil says wryly. "Anyway, I'm not really stressing, I'll be fine either way. Just thought it wouldn't hurt to try."

Adam giggles. "Wow. That was almost mature. There might be hope for you yet."

"Shut up."

The car rumbles to a stop on their driveway and Leila gives Adam the keys. "Just put 'em on the kitchen hook when you get back."

"Thanks, mom."

"Thanks for dessert."

"Yeah, thanks, mom."

Adam all but drags Kris up the stairs and slams him against the door, the snick of the lock loud in the quiet of his room. Their kisses are sloppy and wet and deep, and it all escalates so fast, Kris is breathless with it. After a few seconds, Kris takes charge, pulling off his clothes faster than he's ever done in his life. There's a sudden itch under his skin, and he just. He just _wants_. Badly.

While Adam is single-mindedly mapping his whole upper body with his smooth, wide hands and sucking bruises on his lips, Kris pushes Adam's jacket off his shoulders and unbuckles his complicated belt, kissing up his neck, walking them both to the bed. Adam drops down on it with a deep sigh, shucking his shirt and boxers off. Kris stands at the foot of the bed, admiring the view. They're both breathing heavily, Adam's cock red and flushed against his stomach; Kris's mouth starts to water. Adam is shifting to reach for their supplies tucked in his bedside drawer when Kris crawls over him, knees on either side of his chest, pinning his hands on the bed.

"What --" Adam breathes.

Kris dips his head down for a deep kiss. "I'm driving tonight." He sucks a small bruise on Adam's neck and grins as he shudders underneath him. He squeezes Adam's wrists and pushes down. "Keep 'em there." He crawls down Adam's body, pressing wet kisses on his collarbone, his shoulder, his sternum. When he licks at Adam's nipple, he feels Adam's hand clamp in his hair and he immediately pulls away.

Adam groans impatiently. "Kris, what --"

"I said arms _up_ ," Kris says sternly. "Do this for me."

Once Adam obliges, Kris continues his trek down his body, sucking marks on his chest, murmuring endearments into his skin. Adam writhes under him, muttering filthy words as Kris goes further and further down. Kris works on forming a hickey right on the jut of Adam's hip, hand fisting slowly up and down Adam's cock. Adam hisses, hips violently bucking upward. "Baby, please --"

Kris smiles darkly as he tightens his grip, twisting a little. His thumb presses on the newly-formed bruise and he surges upward to swallow Adam's gasp, tongue demanding entry into Adam's hot mouth. The kiss is dirty and hot, and Kris makes it last until he starts to feel lightheaded. He pulls away and they both try to catch their breath; Kris brushes his nose against Adam's. "I love you. And you're _mine_." Their next kiss is bruising, teeth knocking violently together, Kris completely in charge, sucking on Adam's tongue, gripping the back of his neck, hungry and desperate. Kris feels hot and overwhelmed, hands wandering everywhere, wanting to mark every inch of Adam's beautiful body, wanting to crawl underneath his skin, wanting things he couldn't even begin to name.

Before he knows it, he's made his way back down, his mouth wrapped around Adam's dick, his head bobbing up and down, tongue swirling and wrist twisting exactly the way he knows Adam loves, the way they discovered together so long ago, the way nobody else in the world knows. The way Kris doesn't want anybody else to know, ever. Adam's muttering curses under his breath, hands fisting the sheets, thighs shaking, and Kris feels a bizarre mix of proud and terrified and violently possessive and just before he thinks his jaw is getting a little sore, Adam swells in his mouth and comes with a loud groan. Kris swallows everything that Adam gives, well-practiced; tongue working, grinning when he feels Adam's hand card clumsily through his hair.

Kris crawls back up Adam's body, tucking his face in his neck and slumping against him, hands soothing his twitching muscles. He tries to ignore his raging hard-on, and how he feels a little woozy from the lack of oxygen. Adam lets out a hysterical giggle against his temple, and Kris doesn't even stop the dopey grin that stretches his face. He plants wet, sucking kisses on his neck, arms coming around and squeezing Adam's waist. Adam's hands come up to clumsily pat his cheeks, twisting in his hair and fondling his ears.

He's just managed to calm his racing heart and slow his breaths down, and suddenly he's on his back, Adam hovering above him, an unreadable look on his face. Adam's eyes are shining as he just stares, and Kris fights not to squirm under his intense blue gaze.

And then Adam's _smiling_ , bright and beautiful and the absolute _best_ thing in Kris's life, he can't not screw his eyes shut against the sudden tears burning in them, surging up for a desperate, dizzying kiss. The itch under his skin is back, and he scrabbles his hands up Adam's arms and into his hair, pressing tight against him, trying to fuse them together somehow. Adam groans and follows his lead for a while, bruising his lips before slowly pulling away, thumbs stroking his eyelids.

Kris whimpers in protest when Adam turns his head away; he fights Adam's grip on his face and kisses up his jaw. He thrusts up against Adam's thigh, inhaling sharply at the friction. "Adam, c'mon --"

Somehow Adam pulls away from him completely, braced on his hands and knees, hands gripping his wrists. Kris is so turned on he could _die_. "Dammit Adam, what are you --"

"Baby, look at me," Adam whispers, and Kris nearly comes undone when he catches the look on his face. Adam's eyes are shining, full of wry affection and unbearable sweetness with a hint of pure, almost childlike joy. It's like staring into the sun, and Kris can't keep his gaze for more than a handful of seconds. He stares past Adam's shoulder instead, willing himself to calm down.

Adam leans down and noses at his cheek. "Kristopher," he breathes. "You're kind of an idiot."

Kris glares. "Wow, thanks. That's exactly what a guy likes to hear while pinned under your naked body."

Adam's smile widens at that, and Kris just blinks at him. "Don't think I don't know what's going on in that head of yours," he whispers, dotting small kisses all across his forehead.

"You're killing me, babe. I need -- I can take care of myself if you just --" Kris grunts, bordering on annoyed, trying to wrench his right hand from Adam's grip.

Adam presses his forehead against his - "I love when you're bossy" - and suddenly Adam's hand is around his dick, grip tight and twisting, and Kris is just _gone_. He screws his eyes shut and whimpers against Adam's cheek as he comes three strokes later. He'd feel embarrassed if he could make his brain work at all; instead he just breathes and breathes, willing his heart to stop racing. He's vaguely aware of Adam chuckling, nosing down his cheek to his neck, pressing wet kisses on his collarbone, lips wide with a stupid grin. He's pulled to his side, Adam wrapped all around him, sucking on his bottom lip. Their legs tangle together automatically.

"I love you, Kris. Even if you're an idiot."

Kris just squints at him. "Yeah, I really feel loved right now. The heck did I do to you?"

"I can't believe you think you have anything to worry about," Adam says, face turning serious. "I must be doing something wrong."

Kris frowns, alarmed, and reaches up to smooth the lines away from Adam's forehead. "Hey. What -- I have no idea what you're talking about, babe."

Adam glances down at himself and lifts an eyebrow. "I have, like, six new hickeys right now. Not that I'm complaining, but. Y'know. You think you're being subtle, but you're really not."

Kris runs his fingers down Adam's side, looking at what he's just done, thumb pressing the mottled bruise on his hip. Adam inhales sharply, eyes darkening. "Wanted to make you feel it," Kris murmurs, fixing Adam with a dark, intense gaze. Yeah, he did that. "So you won't forget."

"Forget what, baby?"

Kris looks at Adam for a long time, just looks. Adam's _gorgeous_ , and it's like, it's not that Kris ever forgets, but it still floors him sometimes. His skin is humming. Then he leans forward and closes his eyes. "Don't want you to ever forget who you belong to," he whispers fiercely, forehead pressing hard against Adam's cheek.

They're silent for a moment, then Adam pulls away, gripping Kris's chin until he opens his eyes, pinning him with an powerful gaze. "You totally let Brad get to you," he murmurs disbelievingly.

Kris rolls his eyes. "I did not."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not! It's just..." he trails off, distractedly thumbing under Adam's eyes.

"Just what?"

"Sometimes I think I take it for granted. You. What we have. That I could easily just wake up one day and not have... _this_. And you really need to stop laughing at me, you're gonna give me a complex," Kris pouts. He traces the little wrinkles that form around Adam's eyes and allows himself a small smile. "This is all crazy talk. I don't even -- I don't think I can even explain."

Adam nuzzles at his cheek. "Baby. I love you. And I want you, always. Every day, I choose you. I don't -- it's not even really a _choice_. I just wake up, and there you are. There _we_ are," Adam says earnestly. "We have _plans_ , babe. You're it for me."

"I know all that. I _do_ , I swear," he insists at Adam's skeptical eyebrow. "But then sometimes I take a look around, and the world's so _big_ , and even with our friends, you're -- you're _you_ , everyone _wants_ you, and why shouldn't they? And I just. I get, like, this _itch_. Like, it could be so easy --"

"You know I'm not just -- I have to want them _back_ , and I don't --"

"Well I didn't say any of it made sense," Kris huffs and wrinkles his nose.

Adam smiles and kisses him, soft and quick. "I'm not gonna lie and say that I don't enjoy this possessive streak of yours," he leers. "I mean, feel free to mark me anytime. But babe, _seriously_. I have never even considered -- I don't even _see_ any of that. It's all just you, in here," Adam says, pressing Kris's hand on his chest.

"I'm an idiot."

" _My_ idiot."

"I just really really love you," Kris murmurs against his lips.

"Love you right back."

Kris squeezes his eyes shut and tries to breathe.

"You told me that first night -- do you remember? You told me I shouldn't be afraid. Not of this. And I haven't been, Kris."

"Really?" Kris whispers, feeling the vise in his chest loosen, suddenly warm and calm.

"Really. I'm not scared. So you shouldn't be either," Adam says firmly.

Kris meets his gaze, desperately wanting to make Adam understand. "I'm not scared, Adam. Not of you. Never you," he says, thumb stroking Adam's cheek. "My brain just runs away from me sometimes. I'm done now, I promise."

Adam quirks a smile at him, and it makes Kris ache. "It's okay. I'll always be here to remind you."

Kris has to kiss him for that. Adam kisses back, sweet and slow, and it feels like a promise.

\---

"It's cute," Adam murmurs into his mouth a little later.

"Hmm?" Kris asks absently before tugging at Adam's upper lip.

"God," Adam sighs. "I love when you do that," he says before opening his mouth further.

"I know," Kris says as he does it again, teeth biting a little more sharply, relishing Adam's groan.

After a few moments, Adam pulls back. "Stop distracting me," he says, and then immediately contradicts it by slinging Kris's leg around his waist.

Kris smiles and kisses his neck instead. "I'm not."

Adam sighs and hitches himself closer, tilting his head a little. Kris obediently mouths at the underside of his chin. "I was saying something, and you were distracting me," he insists.

"Kissing was meant to be a quiet activity, babe. No talking," Kris whispers into Adam's shoulder, tonguing at the freckles there. There are hundreds of them, _thousands_ , and Kris wants to touch each and every one. He can't think of a better way to spend the night.

"Uh huh," Adam whimpers as Kris moves down, closer and closer to his nipple. Before Kris can close his lips around it, Adam grips the back of his neck and tugs him upward, tongue dipping into his mouth. The kiss is somehow equal parts dirty and sweet, and Kris gasps into Adam's skin when they pull apart for air.

"You're cute when you're jealous," Adam says suddenly.

"I am not cute," Kris scowls, biting at Adam's ear.

"Yes you are. It's sweet," Adam coos while stroking down his back.

"That's so screwed up."

Adam laughs. "Little bit, yeah."

They lay together and just kiss for a long time after that, hands mapping soft skin, trying to get their fill of touching before separating for the night. Kris's heart feels like it's about to burst out of his chest, and he pours all of himself into Adam through kisses and tender bites, imprinting himself on his skin, willing himself to believe in him, in _them_ together. Adam is full of reassurance, infinitely patient and indulgent, gracing him with his smile and twinkling eyes. Kris gazes into the bright blue, and he can't help but think, _so this is what perfect happiness feels like_.

\---

They end up curled on their sides, Kris's back tight against Adam's chest, knees slotted together. Kris is about to doze off when he feels Adam bite at his shoulder. He sighs and pushes back. "Mmm."

"You like?"

"Mmhmmm. More please."

Adam chuckles and bites again, barely breaking skin; Kris inhales sharply at the prickle of pleasure-pain. "Didn't know you were kinky, babe," Adam murmurs as he soothingly tongues at the ring of teeth impressions.

"M'not," Kris slurs. "I just like to feel it, sometimes."

Kris feels Adam's grin against the back of his neck. "Silly."

"Hot."

"That, too."

Both of them tense up when Kris's phone alarm cuts through their content silence. Adam groans and squeezes him just a little too tight. "Oh my god, I hate this so much I could cry."

Kris sighs and turns over, pulling Adam into a wet, dirty kiss. "I know, baby. I'm sorry. There's not much time left, and then we'll have New York. Just think of that, okay?"

"I know, I know. Ugh come on, I don't want your mom to hate me," Adam says as he sits up and reaches for their clothes.

\---

They're parked in front of Kris's house, leaning against the car. Kris sighs when Adam's hands slide down to tuck inside his back pockets, and he props his chin on Adam's chest.

"You love me," Kris says, loud and clear and _sure_ in the dark quiet.

Adam smiles down at him, hazy, eyes full of affection. "I really, really do."

Kris tips his chin up for a kiss.

After a few moments -- "You love me," Adam says with a playful smile.

"I do," Kris says, his gaze steady and serious. "More than words can say."

 

* * *

 

 **breathe the joy**

 

It's been a long day - heck, it's been a really long _month_ \- and Adam can't help the full body sigh he lets out when Mr. D. claps his hands and says, "Okay, we're done for the day, principals. Rest up. We'll be back on Monday."

Adam's not alone in his exhausted relief - Brad and Danielle sprawl dramatically on the floor, limbs all akimbo; he spots Allison across the stage, swallowing down half the contents of her water bottle and spilling the rest on her head; the door at the back of the theater _thunks_ closed in someone else's hurry to get out. Adam wipes sweat off his forehead and arms, waves a weak goodbye to everyone and trudges to the parking lot.

\---

He should really be used to this. Seven productions in four years, his third time as lead - the grind of the first month and the frantic chaos that's the last week of rehearsals, doing scenes over and over and over, Mr. D.'s perfectionism, a perpetual sore throat, he was even made dance captain once and he's swearing that off the rest of his life - none of this is new. But no matter how many times it's been, it really does take its toll. Add to that the ridiculous exam schedule he got dumped with, and well. He hasn't gotten any kind of decent rest in weeks. The next day and a half of semi-freedom is such a gift, and Adam intends on making the most of every single moment by doing absolutely nothing at all.

He gingerly slides into his car, throwing his duffel bag on the floor. The blast of air conditioning makes him slump with relief, and he blindly reaches out to turn the stereo on. Adam smiles at the soft strain of Ani diFranco mid-song, remembering just how the previous night ended - he and Kris making out in the backseat, cycling through this mix CD one and a half times before reluctantly separating for the night. Other than the stress of the show and schoolwork basically fraying at his sanity, the severe lack of quality time with his boyfriend just compounds all of it. Adam's rehearsals run up to 9 every night, and while Kris is always there at the end of it, unbelievably patient and supportive, armed with a kiss and a tumbler of Adam's favorite tea, holding his hand in the car and telling stories about his day as they drive home, Adam is usually too exhausted for more than a quick grope. Kris hasn't come up to his room in what feels like forever - they'd made a deal to study separately for a while since neither of them even have a spare half hour to get distracted. Basically, Adam's been walking around like he's missing a limb.

And it's not even just the sex - though boy, does Adam miss that - mostly it's _Kris_ , just hanging out, being with him, talking, making him laugh, feeling that connection that a few minutes of stolen moments can't even begin to glean.

Adam makes the familiar drive to Kris's house, grateful and excited for the long afternoon that stretches before them, happily singing along to the CD, bobbing his head, blinking his eyes against the sun. He pulls into their driveway, taking the space where the family car usually sits - sending thanks to the Universe that Kris's parents are away for a wedding - and grabs his duffel bag. His ears pick up a high, shouting laugh from somewhere inside the house, and it makes him smile. He's missed these kids.

He knocks on the front door and fiddles with the hem of his shirt while he waits. There's a rumble of footsteps and Adam hears a muffled "No running, Kaya! And you're not allowed to open the door on your own." Adam's imagining the pout on the little girl's face, and he bites down a laugh.

The door opens and Kris is standing there, two tiny, blonde children wrapped around him. A little boy curled on his shoulder, thumb in his mouth, and a four-year-old girl peeking from behind.

"Adam!" the girl shouts as she flings herself at him, her momentum making him stagger backwards a couple of steps.

Adam catches Kris's grin over her head, then picks her up, grunting when she accidentally elbows him. "Hey, little girl," he answers fondly, dropping his bag just inside the door and making his way to the living room. "You're getting so big, sweetheart. You're growing up so fast."

"I'm turning five in eighteen days!" she cries excitedly as Adam folds onto the couch. She sits back on his knees and they look at each other for a moment. Adam smiles at her bright blue eyes and unruly hair and rubs away a bit of dirt from her cheek.

"Five?! I remember meeting you when you were an itty bitty baby!" Adam says as he brushes her hair with his fingers. "Next thing you know, you'll be too old to play with boring old me."

Kaya throws her arms around his neck and squeezes his head. "You're not boring! And I'll always play with you, Adam," she says earnestly. "I promise."

Adam rubs her back, grinning up at Kris, who's just making his way into the room.

"She's been waiting for you all day," Kris says. "Looks like I've been replaced."

"Sorry, Kris. Everyone knows I'm the cooler one," Adam winks.

Kris snorts and walks over to them, carefully sitting and shifting the little boy in his arms. Adam makes a silly face at him and giggles when he hides his face in Kris's neck.

"Jamie," Kris whispers into his ear. "This is Adam. You've met him before, but you were really little, so you probably don't remember. But he's very nice. And look, Kaya loves him."

At the mention of her name, Kaya twists around, digging her elbows and knees into Adam's torso until she settles herself on his lap once again, her back against his chest. She rubs her head on his shoulder, and Adam winces at the bruises she's probably formed. Kris wrinkles his nose in sympathy.

"Say hi to Adam," she says. "It's okay, Jamie. We like him."

Jamie twists his head a little, thumb back in his mouth, and just looks at Adam for an unnervingly long time. Then his chubbly little fingers curl in a little wave.

"It's nice to meet you, Jamie," Adam says. "When I first saw you, you were littler than my arm."

Jamie just blinks at him, eyelashes swooping on his cheek. Looks like that's a family trait.

"You run out of words there, Jamie?" Kris drawls as he rubs Jamie's back.

Jamie shakes his head, free hand fisting on Kris's shirt, still quiet.

"You're all sweaty, Adam," Kaya says suddenly.

Adam lets out a startled laugh and tries to shift away. "Sorry, sweetie. I was in rehearsal all morning."

Kaya shifts closer and pulls his arms around her. "It's okay. What are you rehearsing for?"

"Our spring musical is next week. Are you going to come see me?" Adam asks as he digs his fingers into her sides. "You're going to watch, right?"

She shrieks and squirms in his lap, laughing breathlessly. "I will, I will! I promise! Stop! Adam!"

Adam laughs and squeezes her waist, presses a kiss on her temple. "Good. I'll get you tickets."

"Yay! Can I bring my boyfriend?"

"What?"

"Excuse me?!" Kris and Adam sputter simultaneously.

"My boyfriend! His name is Kevin. He holds my hand and carries my bag and we sit together during recess," she rattles off casually.

"Does your mom know about this Kevin?" Kris asks, eyes wide and laughing.

"Yes! He comes home with us sometimes after school and mama makes snacks," she giggles.

Adam twists her sideways on his lap. "Aren't you a little too young to have a boyfriend and kissing and all that stuff, young lady?"

"Eww, he doesn't kiss me!" Kaya shrieks. "I'll punch him if he does. Boys are so gross."

Kris tips sideways in laughter, making Jamie giggle along with him. It's all so adorable, Adam could _die_.

"You have no idea how good that is to hear, kiddo," Adam chuckles into her hair. "Any boy you kiss will have to go through me first, okay?"

"Okay," Kaya says distractedly, eyes darting to the TV. "Can we watch my show, Kris?"

"We can watch your show if you promise to nap right after," Kris says, letting Jamie curl into the corner of the couch and then standing to take the remote.

She pouts up at him. "But Adam's here! I can't sleep if Adam's here. I haven't seen him aaaaaages."

"Adam will watch your show with you," Kris says patiently, moving to stand in front of Kaya, remote clutched to his chest. "Do we have a deal?"

"Deal," she grins, grabbing the remote and flipping to the right channel. It's a cartoon, with girls who are superheroes and other loud, strange things that Adam doesn't even want to try to understand. Kaya scrambles off his lap and cuddles into his side, eyes rapt.

There's a sudden whimper to Adam's left, and he sees Jamie reaching his arms toward Kris, forehead wrinkled. Kris squeezes Adam's knee and drops a small kiss on his lips before stepping to the side and picking Jamie up. Jamie wraps his arms tightly around Kris with a sigh, face pressing into his shoulder. Adam's heart stutters in his chest, equal parts envious and admiring, his heart warming to see how good Kris is with the kids, wishing he could do what Jamie just did. But there's time for that later.

Kris disappears into the living room and stays there for most of Kaya's show, and Adam's happy to listen to Kaya's babbling about her friends, letting her play with his rings and examine his painted nails. Kris walks back in a couple times, Jamie cradled in one arm and a bottle held with the other, rocking the baby and singing under his breath. The two of them share smiles every time, but they keep their attention on each of their charges.

When Adam asks Kaya about her coming birthday party, she shares all of her plans and birthday wishes and how she thinks she knows that her parents got her.

"They're getting me a puppy!" she says, eyes lit up and excited.

"That's so cool! But how do you know, Kaya?" Adam asks.

"I heard daddy talking to someone on the phone. He said stuff about a pound and new-tring and fur!"

"Oh wow, yeah, that definitely sounds like a dog. And you're getting one from a pound, that's so awesome," Adam says.

Kaya's self-satisfied smile makes Adam want to laugh, it's such a familiar look. "I know. But it's a secret, so don't tell."

"My lips are sealed."

"Good. And I'm gonna be like you, Adam. I'm gonna act!"

"Really?"

"Yes! I'ma pretend to be surprised when they give me my puppy! So mama and daddy won't know!" she laughs delightedly.

Adam tugs her back into his lap and feels a rush of affection for her. "You're a great kid, Kaya."

She laughs a little more, then stifles a yawn in his shoulder. "You're great too, Adam."

Kaya's a lot more quiet after that, giggling at odd intervals, slumping more and more until she's curled sideways on his lap. Adam keeps his arms around her, relaxing into her touch and feeling a little drowsy himself. He's fighting off a yawn when Kris walks back into the room with a sleeping Jamie in his arms.

"I'll get this one settled first, then I'll come back," Kris says.

"S'okay, I can take her up," Adam whispers back, taking a moment to arrange Kaya's limbs around him before carefully getting to his feet. "I'll follow you."

They pad up the stairs and into Kris's parents' room, where Adam spots what must be Jamie's diaper bag sitting on one corner. They put the children on the bed and tuck them in, and Kris puts the baby monitor on the bedside table. They walk out as quietly as they can - once they're out in the hall, Adam tucks his face in Kris's neck and just collapses, sighing as arms come up to wrap tightly around him.

"Hi," Kris breathes into his ear.

"Hey, baby," Adam answers, pushing Kris against the wall.

Adam groans at Kris's fingers digging into the small of his back, at Kris pressing kisses up his neck, at their lips sliding together in a rough, desperate kiss; Kris tilting up on his toes and pulling at his hair, Adam hauling him against the wall and _up_ , Kris's legs wrapping around his waist, and _this_ , all of this, holding Kris close and knowing Kris wants it just as badly, has _missed_ this just as much, and all Adam wants to do is close his eyes and fall under, the hole in him aching more for being filled.

"Bedroom," Kris manages to muffle in the midst of Adam's assault, and Adam stumbles a few steps, carrying Kris there and absently locking the door before dumping him on the bed, dropping down on top of him, hands and lips and tongue claiming what's his, and Kris is there right along with him, meeting every lick and thrust and bite with one of his own. For endless minutes, Adam's universe consists of Kris's mouth, and his lot in life is to relearn every centimeter of it, even if he has never, ever forgotten.

Adam vaguely notices Kris exhibiting excellent multitasking skills as he seems to be able to tug off all of Adam's clothes, and his mind goes amazingly, blissfully blank when suddenly he's sprawled on his back and Kris is swallowing down his cock in one go. It's all so much, _too much_ , Kris moaning around him, lips shiny and wet and so deliciously red, hips canting helplessly into the mattress, so desperate. Adam can't help thrusting into his mouth, and this would be usually when Kris would smile at him, smug, then hold him down while he keeps sucking in earnest and driving Adam crazy. But this time Kris just takes it, eyes shut tight, hands fisted in the bedspread on either side of Adam's hips, and holy _shit_ , it's unreal, fucking into that gorgeous mouth, Adam's hand gripping Kris's hair to keep him in place, fighting to keep it shallow but his body giving in, thrusting wildly into tight heat, Kris's eyes flying open to watch him, gaze sharp and dark, and Adam can't last, he can't --

Adam comes with a half-groan, half-shout, his thighs shaking, and Kris soothes him with one hand while the other jacks his cock, milking him dry. It's so _intense_ , and Adam pulls Kris upward to pour everything he's feeling into the hottest, dirtiest kiss he can manage, and Kris moans into his mouth, tongue wild and relentless, and Adam just _takes_. They manage to tug Kris's shirt off without ripping it, his jeans and underwear following quickly, Kris's cock hot against Adam's stomach as they continue to kiss.

When Adam tries to maneuver Kris onto the bed so he can return the favor, Kris just shakes his head and keeps mauling his mouth, pressing forward like he wants to climb into Adam's skin. Kris always makes the most unbelievable, hot noises during sex, and this time is no different; when Adam's hand closes around his cock, Kris's whimpers turn into a low, aching whine, and suddenly, impossibly, Adam's getting hard _again_. Adam focuses on Kris in his hand, twisting his wrist the way Kris likes, gripping on the side of a little too tight. He swallows all the sounds that Kris makes, relishes their simultaneous gasps when he takes both their lengths in his hand, jacking them together, kissing Kris's mouth as it goes slack with orgasm. Adam only needs a couple more strokes with his hand and he's coming between their stomachs, adding to the mess.

Kris's arms wrap around his waist and they curl into each other, hands drifting lazily on skin. Adam feels a kind of calm settle in him, like the last piece of a puzzle sliding into place, the picture finally complete. He wants this moment in time to stretch forever -- the tilt of afternoon light through the curtains, Kris's bed soft underneath him, Kris warm and pleasantly heavy in his arms -- he takes it all in, stamping it into his memory.

"I can't believe how much I've _missed_ you," Kris whispers achingly into his neck.

"The feeling is more than mutual, baby," Adam murmurs before pressing a kiss on his hair. "I'm here now."

"Don't go."

"I won't, I promise."

Adam grins when he feels Kris's dick twitch against thigh. He shifts a little to press a little harder, to get some friction for him as well.

"Stop gloating. I've been deprived, okay," Kris groans.

"I didn't say anything!" Adam says indignantly.

Kris peers up at him, eyes narrowed. "I can hear you thinking," he says. A sudden, beautiful grin blossoms on his face, and Adam's struck dumb for a moment, can almost feel his brain grind into a halt in the face of Kris's adoration. He shakes his head to try and clear it, and the next thing he knows, Kris is tugging on his hand until they're up and off the bed, pulling them both toward the bathroom and into the shower. Getting clean is a pretense; they make out under the spray, kisses soft and seemingly endless; they giggle and sigh and kiss and jerk each other off, teasingly towel each other off and kiss. And then kiss some more. Adam stays in the bathroom while Kris runs downstairs to get Adam's duffel, and they pull on sweatpants and the rattiest shirts they own.

They head to the kitchen, and Kris throws together some sandwiches to ease Adam's rumbling stomach.

"I'm stressing out so bad," Adam says after he swallows a bite of rye and bacon. "There's still so much to do."

"Mr. D. knows this, babe. He's done it so many times," Kris says and squeezes Adam's knee. "You got this."

Adam frowns at him. "I know that, intellectually. I just worry. I mean, it's my last. I hope _I_ don't do anything to screw it up."

Kris scoffs as he scoots over and tugs on Adam's leg, wordlessly lifting and draping both across his lap. "You'll be great. You always are."

"But --"

"No buts. I mean, I get worrying about the tech stuff - there's rehearsal for that, and Mr. D. won't allow mistakes."

"Yeah, I guess, but what about me, I --"

"Shush. Babe, seriously, I wish there was a way for you to see how you are when you're performing. You're _amazing_. You blow everyone away, every single time," Kris says, gripping Adam's ankles in emphasis.

Adam ducks his head, blushing. Things like that are always good to hear, but he could never get used to praise, even when it's coming from his own boyfriend. "Stop."

"It's true," Kris says earnestly. "You need to get used to hearing this."

"I really don't --"

"You really do. You're going to be hearing it from everyone," Kris says with all the confidence in the world. "You'll have all of them falling at your feet. You'll see."

"Oh, because you're not biased at all."

"Nope," Kris grins. "Just because I love you doesn't mean I don't mean it."

Adam keeps still, and just looks at him. "You don't know how much that means to me," Adam says, quiet.

"I think I do," Kris answers, a soft smile on his face. "You got this. It'll be great. I know you. You wouldn't have gotten into this at all if you didn't think - if you didn't _know_ , deep down - that you could pull it off."

Adam feels something in his chest break open. Kris is right. _Of course_ he's right. Adam shifts forward in his seat and frames Kris's face with his hands. Kris meets his gaze head-on, no hesitation at all. "Thank you," Adam murmurs in the small space between them before capturing Kris's lips in a soft, slow kiss. It's so freeing, being loved and cared for like this, knowing he can reveal his deepest, darkest secrets, the ugliest parts of himself, and be met with no judgement.

In the beginning, when they started all of this, Adam didn't really understand what it meant. They sat in the dark quiet of his car and whispered promises of faith and trust. All he knew then was that it was _Kris_ , and Kris made everything easy. Adam had no idea that loving someone could be _this_ , this absolute confidence and utter belief in Kris, and in the two of them together. Sitting with him, here and now, in this moment and the hundreds of moments from before and the thousands more yet to come, Adam can't imagine anything better.

"You're welcome," Kris whispers.

Once Kris was satisfied with Adam's nutrient intake ("I know you haven't been eating properly, we're not leaving this table until you finish that" and Adam has never been able to deny Kris much of anything - especially when he pulls that adorable angry puppy face), they make their way to the living room to wait out the last hour of the kids' nap.

Adam halfheartedly flips through the channels (they really don't make Saturday cartoons the way they used to), but he quickly gives up the pretense in favor of pinching Kris's arm to stop his wiggling around. "Stop fidgeting, what's wrong with you?" Adam huffs when Kris's elbow digs into his stomach.

Kris sighs petulantly, breath warm against Adam's cheek. "M'trying to get comfortable," he says as he throws an arm across Adam's waist.

"I'd appreciate if you didn't - ow! - bruise me in this endeavor of yours," Adam frowns, swatting Kris's wandering knee away. This is going to go awry, he can already tell.

"No."

"No?"

"Don't wanna," Kris says as he pushes Adam's shoulder down.

"What is your damage, Kristopher?" Adam grunts, indignant, falling sideways on the couch.

Kris collapses half on top of him and tucks his face in his neck with a happy sigh. "Better."

Adam laughs. "You could've just said you wanted to cuddle and saved me a little pain." He shifts Kris a little closer, tangles legs with his and curls his arms around Kris's back.

Kris squeezes him. "I _missed_ you. I've said that, right?"

"Aww. Baby." Adam nuzzles the top of his head. "I'm here now."

Kris rubs his face into Adam's shoulder, hands drifting up under his shirt, thumb caressing idly. Adam knows how much Kris likes to touch, how much Kris _needs_ it, so amazingly tactile even in public, so Adam does the same, spans his hands on Kris's back, feeling Kris's muscled skin under his shirt.

They lay together for a while, the low hum of the TV the only sound in the room. Adam dozes a little, hangs out in the space between awake and asleep, Kris's warm weight steady and comforting, something he's been missing. He thinks he hears Kris mumble something about unicorns, and he opens his mouth to say something equally ridiculous...

\---

The next time Adam opens his eyes, Kaya's on the floor, hunched over the coffee table. She's coloring something. Kris is sitting on the other end of the couch, cradling Jamie and Adam's feet in his lap.

Jamie lets out a shrieking laugh at something on TV, and Adam can't help but giggle along. Kris lifts his head to smile at him, sweet and fond, then leans in to whisper in Jamie's ear. And suddenly Jamie's crawling up Adam's legs, stopping to perch right on his stomach. He reaches his chubby little hands out to pat clumsily at Adam's face.

Adam grins. "Hi, Jamie."

Jamie grins back, toothless and adorable, shrieking again when Adam mock-bites at his hands. Adam tickles his sides, and there's some more laughter until Jamie collapses against him, breaths hitching. Adam cuddles him in his chest and breathes in his baby smell, the unique mix of milk and powder and _joy_.

Kaya crawls over and pokes his nose. "Kris said you were tired. You should sleep s'more, Adam."

"I'm better now. I want to say goodbye when your parents pick you up," Adam says, reaching out a hand and ruffling her hair. "Can you show me what you're coloring?"

Kaya's eyes light up, and she reaches out to grab her coloring book. "I'm coloring ponies!" she cries, shoving the page in Adam's face, all childlike enthusiasm.

Adam holds out the picture so Jamie can see. "Your pony is purple!"

"Yes. Purple's my favorite color."

"And the pony's mane is green and pink?"

"Uh huh," Kaya says absently, taking the picture back to the table. "I gotta finish before mama and daddy come back."

"It's really pretty, Kaya," Adam says. "Your parents will love it."

Kaya smiles at him, big and bright. "I know!"

Jamie laughs again, and this time he's grabbing at Adam's hair. And - ow, he's pulling. "Blue," Jamie giggles and tugs, hard.

"Adam's not a toy, Jamie. Stop pulling his hair," Kris says, firm.

"Blue!" Jamie cries and pulls even harder. Adam steadies Jamie in his hands and sits up, planting him on his knees.

"Okay, no more pulling, buddy," Adam says, tweaking his nose. "Just look."

Jamie pouts, but he stops, hands patting Adam's nose and cheeks instead. Kris scoots closer, perches his chin on Adam's shoulder, tickling Jamie's sides and giggling when Jamie laughs. Jamie's nose crinkles just like Kris's. "You're gonna grow up to be a heartbreaker, Jamie."

Jamie eventually gets bored with them and crawls over to his sister, grabbing at her crayons and beaming when he gets her attention. Kaya turns to a new page and starts to teach him how to color.

"They're such good kids," Adam says.

"Runs in the family," Kris answers, laughing when Adam nudges him.

Kaya's telling Jamie very, very firmly not to put the crayons in his mouth when Adam hears the rumble of an car engine stopping right outside. Kaya darts up and grabs Adam's hand, pulling them to the front door. "They're here!" she cries, bouncing on her toes.

Adam laughs and opens the door, stepping to the left to let Kaya run into her mom's waiting arms.

Natalie kisses Kaya's head and grins at Adam, eyes wide with delight. "Adam! I didn't know you were gonna be here!" She hurries over and kisses his cheek. "You're a little too thin for my taste, hon, do I have to have words with Kristopher? Is he not taking care of you?"

Adam laughs and follows her inside, holding the door open for Henry. "We open in a week, rehearsals have been killer. Kris will fatten me back up soon enough."

"Good. Oh, I'm so excited to see your show."

"I'm a little nervous, but it's shaping up to be pretty good."

"We'll come see you. And how were my little monsters?"

"They were perfect. Jamie's gotten so big," Adam says as they walk into the living room. Kris gets up, Jamie cradled in arms.

"Here they are, buddy," Kris says, dropping a kiss on Jamie's head before handing him off to Henry.

"Did you guys behave for Kris and Adam?" Natalie asks.

"We were good, mama. Promise!" Kaya exclaims. "Adam watched my show with me! And Kris made us pancakes! And we stayed real quiet while Adam was sleeping coz Kris said Adam needs rest."

Jamie gurgles in agreement and grabs at Natalie's hair. "What did I tell you about hair, Jamie? You can't just pull," she says before kissing his cheek. "Thank you for doing this, guys."

Kris hands over Jamie's diaper bag with a grin. "It's no problem at all, Nat. Anytime."

They all herd to the doorway, and after Kaya gives the two of them sloppy kisses on the cheek, and Jamie blows them an adorably disgusting spit bubble, Kris tugs Adam up the stairs. They stagger to Kris's bedroom and unceremoniously drop down on the bed, limbs all tangled together.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," Adam says.

"It's okay. I know you're exhausted." Kris pushes a pillow under Adam's head and cards his fingers through his hair. "Sleep some more."

Adam pouts. "I didn't come to your house to take a _nap_ , come on."

Kris just keeps stroking his hair, and Adam pushes his head up to the touch, fighting the urge to purr.

"You're not playing fair."

"I'm not doing anything," Kris murmurs. "Close your eyes, babe. I'll be here when you wake up."

\---

Adam opens his eyes, and the room is dark, save for the glare from the laptop perched on Kris's outstretched legs. Kris is sitting on the other side of the bed, typing something, and - oh. He's wearing glasses. Maybe Adam won't get mad at him after all.

"You're too far away," Adam rasps.

Kris turns his head, surprised. "Hey, sleepyhead."

Adam reaches out blindly and tugs on the leg of Kris's sweatpants. "C'mere."

Kris huffs a laugh, putting the laptop away and crawling up Adam's body, thigh nudging at Adam's morning - er, evening? - wood. "Hi."

"I'm mad at you."

"I didn't do anything," Kris says as he nuzzles at his chin.

"I'm still mad," Adam says before pulling Kris into a sloppy, dirty kiss. Kris responds immediately, opening his mouth and moaning when Adam's tongue starts a leisurely exploration. They make out lazily, lips comfortable and knowing, hands moving exactly where they're wanted, only separating for the half-second it takes to pull off their clothes. Adam gasps at the feel of their cocks sliding together, hand immediately coming down to grasp them both. It's hot, and quick, and Adam groans out "God, I love you," as he comes in hot spurts in his hand. Kris continues to kiss him, lips biting just a little too hard, thrusting into Adam's grip.

"Come on, honey," Adam whispers into Kris's mouth, strokes tight and fast and twisting. "Come for me."

With a strangled gasp, Kris obeys, hips bucking wildly. Adam holds him through it, watches as Kris's eyes screw shut and his gorgeous mouth falls open, breaths coming out hard and fast. Kris is beautiful in every way, all the time, but Adam thinks he's most devastating in the moments he comes undone like this, body falling into the pleasure that Adam gives, breaking under Adam's hands.

Kris slumps against him, boneless and pliant, blindly mouthing up his chin and drawing him into a sloppy kiss. Adam flips them over, smiling when Kris automatically opens his legs and tugs him down, insistent as always on taking Adam's full weight. Adam presses soft, quick kisses all over his face, and Kris sighs happily, hands ghosting down Adam's back.

"I could get used to this," Adam whispers.

"Hmm?"

"Waking up for sex," Adam grins.

"Mmm."

Adam doesn't know how long they stay like that, just curled together and murmuring to each other. Their rumbling stomachs eventually make them get up, wipe off and go back to the kitchen for the dinner Kim left them. Adam stretches up on his toes to get a couple of glasses from the cupboard, smiling when Kris shuffles next to him, arms sliding around his waist.

"This is nice," Adam murmurs into his temple.

Kris just nods his head and kisses his shoulder, squeezing one more time before making his way to the fridge. Adam lays out the glasses with one plate and two sets of utensils, then pads over to where Kris is watching the microwave. Adam pulls Kris close, enjoying the moment. It _is_ nice, waking up in bed and reaching out to find Kris there beside him, playing house like this, the most mundane activities made less so by virtue of doing them together. Suddenly Adam can't wait for senior year to end, wishes for time to fly by and for September to come, and he's imagining them finding a place, shopping for things, living together - getting to do this, to have this, every single day. No limits.

The beeping of the microwave brings Adam out of his thoughts, and he realizes that his grip on Kris has gotten a little too tight. Kris is looking up at him, a question on his face, but Adam just smiles and kisses his forehead, letting him go so they can bring the food to the table. It looks like a stew of some kind, and suddenly Adam realizes he's _starving_.

They squish together at the table - Kris's legs are draped across Adam's lap, and they're practically sharing a seat. They feed each other tiny bites (further proof that Danielle is right, sometimes they really _are_ the epitome of the cute couple cliché) and Adam purposely misses his aim several times, leaving bits of sauce around Kris's mouth so he can kiss them away. Kris just smiles at him indulgently, enjoying the attention.

"We really need to learn how to cook," Adam says between bites.

Kris looks at him in alarm. "That's a dangerous line of thinking."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. I can totally learn!"

"You can't even toast bread properly, babe. Or have you forgotten --"

"I thought we promised to never bring that up again!" Adam cries, voice going high. "That was _one time_."

"One really, really, _really_ awful time."

Adam pouts at him. "Shut up. I was gonna say that I want to learn how to cook all your favorite things, but never mind."

Kris aims a brilliant grin at him and leans in to nudge their noses together. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"I don't know. You really hurt my feelings just now."

"Stop being so cute," Kris coos. "I'm sorry. I won't ever bring it up again. Now talk some more about how much you love me."

Adam gasps and slaps Kris's arm. "I'm trying to be _serious_ here! Talking about _living_ together and _making a life_ and _learning_ things, and you're just --"

Kris grabs at his flailing arm, forcing Adam to stop. Kris kisses his knuckles and says, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm taking this seriously. I promise. No more jokes."

Adam just looks at him, wary.

"I promise," Kris repeats, aiming his earnest puppy eyes at him.

Adam just sighs and leans in for a kiss. "I really shouldn't have told you about the puppy eyes thing."

"I love you too," Kris just answers, smile almost smug. It'd be annoying if it wasn't so cute.

"You've been thinking about it, though, right? What it's gonna be like, next year? Getting a place --"

"It's all I think about whenever we say goodnight," Kris says, expression suddenly serious. "I can't wait. Adam, I want it so bad. I want it right now. I want it _yesterday_."

Adam's breathless, closing his eyes under the sudden flood of emotion. He cups Kris's face in his hands and bumps their foreheads together. "Me too. I don't have words to say how much."

"I get to fall asleep and wake up next to you. Make you breakfast. Read lines with you. I'll make you study with me and you won't be able to get away. We can sit on the couch and waste away weekends together. I can - I _will_ \- blow you up against the front door," Kris says, voice tight. "I want all of that so bad."

Adam can see all of it so clearly in his head, and it's almost too much to bear. " _Kris_ ," he breathes.

"Yeah?"

"This is real, right?"

"Of course it is."

"It's not just some dream?"

Kris lets out a surprised laugh. "It's real. All of it. Baby, look at me."

Adam takes a deep breath and opens his eyes, meets Kris's gaze. He's smiling, face soft and completely open. "We're doing this. It's going to happen, and it's going to be _amazing_."

Adam kisses him, then, because how can he not? He kisses the grin off of Kris's face, traces his tongue on the roof of Kris's mouth, swallowing his surprised gasp. Kris grips his hair and sucks on his tongue, just as desperate. Adam pours all of himself into the kiss, everything he feels, just gives it up until he can breathe again.

They pull apart, and Adam wrinkles his nose. "You're going to get so sick of me."

"Not possible," Kris says immediately.

"Oh, just you wait. I think we're going to drive each other crazy," Adam grins. "It's going to be so much fun."

Kris traces a thumb on his cheek, smiling. "Mama can teach us how to cook."

"Okay."

"And I'll practice being neat so you won't yell at me. Much."

"Okay."

"And you'll compromise on closet space?" Kris asks, tweaking Adam's nose.

There's a long pause. "Yeah, okay."

"And we'll start stocking up on condoms and lube."

Adam bursts out laughing at that, the force of it tipping them both sideways. "Yes, this is a very good plan."

"We should look into sex toys too, y'know, so we can spice things up a little."

"Kristopher!" Adam gasps, faux-scandalized.

"What? We should broaden our horizons. I thought you'd approve." Adam doesn't understand how Kris can say these things and keep a straight face.

"I do!" Adam sobers suddenly. "Wait, are you saying our sex is boring?"

Kris pinches his arm. "Stop being ridiculous. I just. You know."

Adam raises his eyebrows. "You what?"

The most adorable blush starts creeping up Kris's neck. "Handcuffs?" he asks meekly.

Adam laughs and laughs and it's a long time before he can stop.

\---

They finish their food and clean up, then go back to Kris's room. Adam takes hold of the laptop to look at his email and to check in with Alisan. Kris puts his glasses back on and grabs a book from his desk, probably something for Lit class that he can't put off any longer.

Adam waits for Kris to settle against the headboard and crawls up the bed to sit beside him, fluffing up a pillow to support his back and leaning up against Kris. Kris curls his left arm around Adam's neck and settles his hand right on Adam's heart. They're quiet and productive for a couple hours, occasionally shifting on the bed to keep comfortable.

Adam signs off chat with Danielle and Alisan, and he impulsively types "new york apartments" into Google. They both have family friends scattered around Manhattan and Brooklyn so finding a place really isn't their problem quite yet, but Adam wants to look. Maybe take a little peek at what's in store for them. He looks at all kinds of places - studios, lofts, cramped walkups - and tries to imagine the two of them living there, filling it with their things and their energy. He loses track of time, opens a dozen tabs in two minutes, and before long he can feel Kris's chin perched on his head.

"Do you think we'll have to get a roommate?" Kris asks, pointing at an insane price tag on the apartment listing.

"I hope not," Adam says. "We'd make terrible roommates, and not just because they'll be the third wheel."

Kris murmurs his agreement and stays quiet, though Adam doesn't know if he's just watching him surf or has gotten back to his book.

Adam clicks around some more, and somehow finds his way into a forum full of casting calls for off-Broadway shows. He looks through them eagerly, tries to imagine working with a professional cast, training under real directors and choreographers. Something makes him pause. "It's going to be like this a lot of the time, you know that, right?" Adam asks.

"Hmm?"

Adam tips his chin up to meet Kris's gaze. "You'll be in school, and I'll have, like, auditions and rehearsals. And if I ever get cast in a show, it's gonna be an insane schedule. Probably worse than this."

Kris nods. "I know."

"I'll have a lot of late nights, probably. And I won't get up until the afternoon. Weird hours, that kinda thing."

"I know that."

"Yeah?"

"Mmhmmm. I can fix my schedule, I think. Classes are more flexible in college. I'll get my studying done early so we can just hang out when you get home, stuff like that. And you get days off too, right? I can keep those open. We'll coordinate," Kris answers, smiling.

"That sounds plausible."

"Of course it is."

"You make it sound so easy."

Kris squeezes his arms around Adam and presses a kiss on his forehead. "It won't be. But we'll make it work." Always so sure.

Adam kisses him, soft and slow. "Yeah, we will."

Kris silently puts his book away and tugs Adam up against him, lips hot and insistent, igniting Adam's skin. They kiss for a long time, until their lips are red and bruised, and Kris spreads himself out on the bed, so eager, so easily taking Adam's breath away. Adam pulls out a condom and their bottle of lube from the dresser and gets Kris ready, with two fingers, then three, watching the blush spread down his chest, listens for the whines that catch in his throat. Kris's breaths turn into short, quick gasps, and he's growling "now, Adam, please please please" and how can Adam say no?

He doesn't; he pulls out his fingers, groans right along with Kris at the loss of contact. He rolls the condom on with shaking hands and lines himself up, hands braced on Kris's pressed up on his chest. Kris lets out a little sob when Adam sheathes himself all the way in; it's hot and tight and so fucking _good_ , Adam muffles a shout into Kris's temple and he wills himself to calm down a little, to last longer than he thinks he can.

Kris's legs wrap around his waist and he pulls Adam close, so close, hand gripping his neck, lips insistent, kissing him until they're both breathless. Adam's thrusts start slow and deep; Kris whimpers loudly, and that's how Adam knows he's hitting all the right spots. "More, please, Adam," Kris groans, twisting to throw a knee on Adam's shoulder, and stars explode under Adam's eyes at the new angle. He fucks into Kris hard and fast and earnest, and Kris just takes it, takes all of him so beautifully, murmuring soft curses under his breath, nails scratching at Adam's back.

Adam tries to hold himself back, but when Kris starts jacking himself, letting out a sharp cry and lifting himself off the bed, the white heat that starts up Adam's spine explodes through him, his limbs locking up, hips jerking as he comes. An instant later, Kris squeezes around him, so impossibly tight, coming with a yell that Adam muffles with his mouth.

Adam keeps pushing into Kris until they're both oversensitized and twitchy. His hands hold Kris down as he pulls off, twisting up the condom and throwing it into the wastebasket. Kris's limbs flop on the bed, a soft grin forming on his face as Adam cleans him up.

"Not boring," Kris slurs when Adam tugs him to his chest.

"Definitely not."

Kris opens his eyes and bites at his neck, grinning drunkenly. "Best boyfriend in the world."

"Damn right."

\---

They're outside, leaning against Adam's car, counting down the last few minutes before Adam absolutely has to leave. It's one of Adam's favorite things, being wrapped up in each other like this, enjoying a quiet moment under the moonlight.

"We're thinking about the same thing, aren't we," Kris whispers into his neck.

Adam smiles and pulls Kris closer. "Yeah, we are."

"I hate watching you drive away from me."

"I hate it more than anything. Soon, we won't have to."

"Good."

Adam slides his hands up Kris's neck and pulls him into a kiss. "I love you."

"I know," Kris smiles. "I love you, too."

"Dream of me?"

Kris trails his fingers down Adam's cheek. "I will. Please drive safe."

"Always. I'll text you when I get home," Adam whispers, sneaking in one last kiss.

Kris waves at him from the doorway, and Adam pulls off the sidewalk, not quite looking forward to sleeping in his big, empty bed, but mentally scratching off another day that they're forced to separate like this, counting down. It's getting close, and Adam can't _wait_.

 

* * *

 

 **practicing the words  
five times kris and adam's friends were ~~totally not~~ okay, _kind of_ jealous of their relationship.**

 

 **one**

 

The absolute last thing Danielle wants to do is to begrudge her friends anything. And she doesn't, not ever. Especially not Adam, who has waited for this forever; who, through most of puberty, insisted that he would never find a boy who'd love his ridiculous, freckly ass. He'd made her promise to let him live in her basement when she gets married off to - in his words - "another breeder". He'd promised fashion police and babysitting duties, grimaced at the mention of diapers, but perked up at the suggestion of a walk-in closet.

There'd been a perpetual sadness in his eyes when their group of friends started dating right around middle school. Danielle had to talk him into going through with his first hookup, and even when he finally started dressing up the way he wanted to and had his pick of boys, she still caught that look on him sometimes, mixed with more than a little frustration and longing. Adam was just born to fall in love.

And then came Kris. And even if they were all of sixteen, squinting through the haze of hormones and trying to stagger through life without falling down too many times, Danielle saw something else. This time around, it was different. Something _more_.

It was a little surprising, sure. They'd all known each other since kindergarten and they formed their little clique in middle school; all the girls harbored a crush on Kris at different points in time and Kris was totally chill about it, as casual as he was about everything else (even his coming out to them at a sleepover at the beginning of ninth grade was "totally not a big deal, guys, seriously"). He and Adam were just as close as everyone, and that was just that, but one day Adam started grinning at his phone like a complete idiot, acting all twirly and excited, like he was about to burst into song, going through the day like he's high ("on life, Dani," he'd say).

And Kris - well, Kris was exactly the same, but in hindsight, Danielle realized that he spent those early days with a smug smile painted on his face.

After a couple weeks of Adam gazing into the middle distance with a smile that threatened to split his face, Adam and Kris spilled drinks on her pants, started holding hands where everyone can see, and one morning, she took one look at Adam and just _knew_.

And here she is now, almost a year later, standing in front of her locker on a Thursday afternoon. Kris is next to her, shuffling his feet, eyes darting every which way.

"You sure it's okay, Dani? It's totally fine if --"

Danielle smiles at him, pinching his cheek. "Stop. I'll ask. I'll definitely even wheedle for you a little bit, pull the daughter card. I'll text you as soon as I get an answer."

Kris's face smooths into a grin, and Danielle takes a moment to appreciate just how unconsciously gorgeous he is. "Thank you so much. You have no idea how long I've been thinking of the perfect gift. This idea kept coming back to me, but I couldn't figure out how to make it work. Just - thank you."

It's not surprising. Kris's guitar has been his fifth limb since they were thirteen, and she knew from the boys that Kris had recently begun to write songs, too. She also knew Alisan had snooped on Adam's iPod and saw "Kris Allen" listed as an artist. Adam refused to let her see song titles, let alone listen to any of them, but it's easy to connect the dots. Danielle's dad is best friends with the guy who owns the only studio in town - she's helped make demos for a bunch of outgoing seniors over the years, and of course she's going to try to pull some strings to help her best friend's boyfriend give him the best anniversary gift ever.

Adam is going to _die_.

Danielle smiles at Kris, giving herself a handful of seconds to just wallow in her perpetual singlehood. Being unattached doesn't usually bother her, and moments like this are rare, but when they come along, she indulges herself. This time, it takes a full minute - how can it not, in the face of Kris Allen's sheer earnestness? She's usually a bigger person than this - envy has never been and never will be her thing. But. Kris's _face_.

She shakes herself out of the momentary melancholy and flicks her locker shut, eyes widening when she sees Adam hovering just beyond Kris's shoulder. Adam winks at her then covers Kris's eyes with his hands.

Kris starts in surprise, then his mouth curls into a crooked grin and he immediately leans back, smiling even wider when Adam's arms wind around his waist. They've done this in front of her a hundred times, but it still catches her off guard, seeing just how easy it is between the two of them.

"Hey, stranger," Kris says.

Adam grins and kisses the side of his head. "What are you doing all the way here?"

"To see you," Kris says, quirking a smile at Danielle. "Then I helped Dani put some stuff in her locker, and we got to talking."

Adam digs his chin on Kris's shoulder and grins at her. "Hi, Dani girl."

"Hey, Bubbles."

Danielle just laughs when Adam rolls his eyes. "Please don't."

"Aww, but it's cute," Kris says as he reaches up to touch the streak of blue in Adam's hair.

"It's not cute, it's _fierce_ ," Adam insists as he straightens up, putting his hands on Kris's shoulders and pushing him into the row of lockers.

Kris's eyes flash over to her, alarmed. "Um."

She just rolls her eyes. They're all used to the two of them losing track of everything else when they're together. She certainly can't blame them - if her boyfriend was even half as good looking as either one of them, she'd have trouble keeping even an inch of distance between them. Danielle learned her lesson on the very first movie night post-get together - she loves Adam more than anything, but she really doesn't need to see his tongue in his boyfriend's mouth.

Danielle - and Kris too, it seems - fully expects some macking to occur right in front of her face, and it's fine, it's no big deal. But Adam tugs down the arm of his jacket instead, exposing his wrist and pressing it on Kris's forehead. Kris's shoulders sag, and he smiles at her helplessly. "He keeps doing this," Kris says to her, a staggering amount of fondness laced in his voice. "Adam, stop."

Adam doesn't. His thumbs pull at Kris's cheeks, exposing the insides of Kris's eyelids. Then Adam's fingers start pressing down the side of Kris's neck. Kris huffs and grabs Adam's hands. "That's enough, Dr. Lambert."

Adam rolls his eyes, looking like he's about to let out a sharp retort, but he stands down. Kris is the only person who can get away with ordering him around. "Okay, okay."

Kris smiles and tangles their fingers together. "I haven't felt sick all week. I'm really fine now, I promise."

"Okay," Adam says again, soft, before leaning down to press a kiss on Kris's forehead.

Danielle's about to slink away to leave them their privacy, her cheeks burning at being witness to such a sweet, quiet moment, but then Adam's draped over her shoulder, babbling in her ear. "It's new show day!" he cries as he tugs her to the auditorium. She lets herself get steered down the hall and to the right. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Adam's hand still linked with Kris's as he drags him with them.

"Our last one, can you believe it?" Danielle says. "And God, I already know Macy's going to make my life hell from now until opening night. Dance captains are such a pain in the ass."

"Oh come on, it won't be so bad," Adam says, breezy. "You'll have me to bitch to, at least."

"Never leave me," she answers, tipping her forehead on his shoulder.

Adam just laughs. "Never."

\---

They're a hallway away from the auditorium when Adam suddenly stops in his tracks. "Shit!"

"What?"

"We're singing today - shit, I forgot to pass by the cafeteria to get water," Adam frowns, looking back the way they came, probably calculating the time it'll take for him to go all the way there and back. He'll be cutting it close.

Kris just makes a little noise, smiling has he reaches into his duffel bag and pulls out two unopened bottles of water. "You always forget," he says, handing them one each. "You take lukewarm too, right, Dani?"

Danielle just nods at him dumbly - there's no way Kris could have known that - and she glances up at Adam, whose face has gone all soft and open, shaking his head in disbelief. "You..."

Kris's smile just widens and he kisses the back of Adam's hand. "I know," he says, tugging them forward. "C'mon, I know Mr. D. gets pissy when principals are late."

\---

When they reach the theater doors, Danielle smoothly ducks from under Adam's arm and darts forward. "Bye, Kris," she grins. "I'll save you a seat, Bubbles."

She pushes the door open and walks in, eyeing a couple of free seats next to Allison. "Hey, Blossom," she greets her with a smile. They make bets on how long it'll take for Macy to pout at them, promising they'll hold each other back from punching her in the face in the eventuality of annoyance levels going through the roof.

Adam slides in next to her just as Mr. D. emerges from backstage.

"Impeccable timing as always," Danielle says under her breath.

"Oh God, I would never hear the end of it," Adam whispers back, and he's right. Mr. D. is a huge stickler for rules and he holds a mean grudge. "It's just. I had to take my time. Kris _really_ likes my new lip gloss."

Danielle snorts. "Uh huh."

They keep their eyes trained up front and pretend to listen - it's just Mr. D.'s annual pep talk, they really aren't missing anything. "And I guess he can still smell my perfume?"

Danielle leans a little to the side and takes a whiff of his shoulder. "Little bit, yeah."

Adam clears his throat. "Yeah, it makes him a little, uh, frisky."

Danielle can't help but duck her head and she tries really hard to keep her giggles as inaudible as she can, hoping her hair's covering her laughing face. "Stop," she says, elbowing Adam's side.

"What's so funny?" Allison hisses.

She's overcome with another wave of giggles as she vaguely sees Adam cover his face and lean his head on her shoulder. "Stop, oh my God," Adam wheezes. "It wasn't supposed to be funny."

Thankfully, Mr. D. makes them get up for vocal exercises then, and they don't get in trouble for their little giggle fit. They try their best not to look each other in the eye after that though, to prevent another wave of laughter neither of them can help.

Two hours later, throat pleasantly sore and feeling the burst of hope and optimism the first day of rehearsal always makes her feel, Danielle looks up from their huddle at the piano. Mr. D.'s clapping his hands, ushering them out of the auditorium, saying something about costumes and shoes.

Adam whizzes past her, dropping a quick kiss on her cheek and an "I'll be on tonight" in her ear, and next thing she knows, Kris has appeared beside him, hands curled comfortably around Adam's waist, laughing at something he said. She watches them walk out of the theater, a fond grin tugging on her lips.

"They're kind of disgustingly cute, aren't they?" Allison says, smile probably matching hers.

"Yeah, they really are."

 

 **two**

 

It's Allison's first real party and Kris is being so annoyingly protective.

It's not like she doesn't know that she has, like, a dozen older brothers scattered all around the house, watching her alcohol intake, ready to beat up any guy who stands even just a little too close - Ryland had already pulled Immerman away and psssh, like she would even go for that dude - it's all a total drag. But Kris isn't even trying to be subtle about it. (Kris is never really subtle about _anything_.) He'd stolen two shots of tequila right from under her nose, and made her put on a jacket to cover her really awesome outfit. It took her and Scarlett _three weeks_ to find the totally badass corset top, but Kris just stood there and glared until she relented. She'd have maimed him hours ago if he wasn't so cute.

So the night is pretty much nothing like she expected it to be, other than the stereotypical group of drunk football players crowded in the garden. And really, it's fine that she's just hanging around with Alisan and Megan, scoping out cute boys just like any day of the week. They let her take sips of their vodka crans so it's a little bit better.

The two other girls are giggling about Will Something-or-other's shoe size when something across the room catches Allison's eye.

A few juniors are sitting around the coffee table with a pack of cards. Kris finally left her alone for what looks like a poker game - which is just dumb, because there's no way Kris can play that game properly, what with his face and all, but maybe he likes to practice? They've been at it for a while, playing and razzing each other, a couple of them getting drunker and drunker by the minute.

Adam's sitting on the floor behind Kris, all curled up around him like a little koala bear. It doesn't at all look comfortable, but Adam's eyes are closed, face happily hidden in Kris's neck, and it looks like he'd fallen asleep, wow.

Allison asked him once how he could always twist himself around to drape over someone so much smaller than him - "seriously Adam, don't you get cramps?" - but Adam just smiled at her, crazy and bright and blinding. And remembering that look on Adam's face, that happy smile, seeing them wrapped around each other like that so many times, and seeing them now, Kris's careful movements so he won't disturb Adam, perfectly happy to be crowded in and bear his weight - it makes Allison ache, a little bit. Her friends date all the time, and she's caught pretty much all of them in compromising positions. She only ever has to raise her eyebrow at Andrew to make him duck his head and blush; and Brad had changed her views on peanut butter back when she was barely a teenager. But it's different with Adam and Kris. It always has been. She certainly wasn't expecting it, and while she loved playing matchmaker, they were never on her list, but as she saw them together more and more, it was like, well _of course_. Of course they're completely perfect for each other, silly and sweet and scarily serious as they are.

There's a little scuffle on the table - the guys are horsing around, Matt has Anoop in a headlock, and a couple other dudes Allison doesn't know were full-on wrestling on the floor, the rest of the table laughing hysterically. Kris is the only one not going completely nuts, but turning red from having to keep from being too loud. The other guys more than make up for it though, so Adam wakes up nevertheless, looking bleary-eyed and exhausted. He squints around the table for a few seconds before yawning hugely and cuddling closer to Kris, settling back in.

Kris reaches up to pat Adam's hair, twists his neck when Adam kind of head-butts him, and they kiss. Adam's smile is soft and sleepy, and he kisses Kris's shoulder before going back to his little nap.

They're all still so young, and she's having fun, she loves her life and she's not even remotely ready to get into a serious relationship. But _they_ are, they're so good together, and getting this glimpse of what it could be like someday, maybe, hopefully - sometimes it's a little too much. Especially now, this late at night, and she's surrounded by people her age and she can't quite imagine finding it with any of them, not even close. Allison looks away from the coffee table and the rabble-rousing boys, heart a little heavy, a new and strange kind of loneliness pulling at her. She curls an arm around Megan's waist and cuddles up, shutting her eyes for a long minute.

 

 **three**

 

The day has been long, and tedious, and _irritating_ , and Anoop can feel a tension headache building behind his eyes. This is the English project from hell, and for a fleeting second he wishes he could just quit school and pile him and his friends into a van and drive all across the country to play music. They'd drink and toke up and play and sing, _god_ , he wants to sing.

But this is real life, and he knows education is important even if he doesn't think he's ever been taught anything useful.

He looks up and sees Kris slumped forward on the coffee table, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. Anoop sighs. "Let's take a couple minutes?"

Kris smiles at him, sheepish. "Yeah? You wanna head into the kitchen for a snack? We have leftover pie."

Three straight hours of mind-numbing work - they deserve a break. "Hell yeah. Lead the way."

Kris's smile widens, suddenly a lot more bright and easy. "Awesome. My mom's pie will change your _life_ , everyone says so."

Anoop is surprised at Kris's complete lack of surprise to find Adam sitting at the kitchen table, chatting up a storm with Kris's mom. Anoop just smiles at them both and takes a seat, while Adam pulls up a chair right against his and Kris collapses on it and on him.

"Hard at work?" Adam asks as he rubs Kris's back.

Kris's eyes are shut, like he's blocking the room out, so Anoop answers for them both. "I want to poke my eyeballs out with this fork."

Adam grimaces in sympathy. "Yeah, sounds about right. I don't know why Mrs. J. insists on torturing all the seniors this way. How far along are you?"

"Getting ready to wrap it up, actually. A couple hours of work left." Anoop feels himself perk up at the smell of warm apple pie filling the room.

"Here you go, boys," Mrs. Allen says as she puts down half of a pie and a bowl of vanilla ice cream. "This'll re-energize you and you'll finish that project of yours in no time."

Anoop smiles at her, grateful beyond words and sudddenly _starving_. "Thank you, Mrs. Allen. I hear your apple pie will change my life."

She laughs and squeezes his shoulder. "I see my son has been bragging. Eat up, no shyness is allowed in my kitchen."

"It looks amazing."

Adam has enthusiastically plated a large slice and heaped it with ice cream. Kris is draped over his back now, chin on Adam's shoulder. Anoop focuses on his own serving, taking a huge bite and groaning at the burst of heaven in his mouth.

"Holy shit, Kris. You weren't kidding. This is _fantastic_ ," Anoop gushes when he finishes chewing.

Kris snorts, "I know, right." And when Anoop looks up, Kris is grinning, seemingly recovered and completely reanimated, fork in hand, trying to feed Adam a huge bite.

\---

They go back into the living room much too quickly for Anoop's taste - he resolves to finish the paper in the next two hours, or else they'll be driven even crazier. Kris and Anoop take the places they just left on either side of the coffee table, and Adam settles on the couch, his knee touching Kris's shoulder.

Kris frowns at his laptop for a couple seconds and turns to Anoop. "Can you look this over? I wrote, like, three pages on the nature versus nurture stuff, but I can't tell anymore if I hit all our points or if I just padded it with bull."

"Sure, man," Anoop answers, pulling Kris's laptop closer. "You could finish up the metaphor stuff? And after that, it's conclusions."

Anoop clicks on the trackpad, unused to handling something that isn't an Apple product, and starts in surprise when the word processor window minimizes and he's brought to Kris's desktop. The minimal clutter of icons off to the side barely registers with Anoop - all he sees is the wallpaper. It's a picture of Kris and Adam wedged to the corner of a couch, Kris leaning on the arm and Adam lying half on top of him. Adam's mouth is laughing, open, while Kris's eyes are closed, lips pressing a grin into Adam's forehead. Allison and Cassidy are sitting next to them, mouths open with laughter as well. It was probably taken while their group was hanging out, one quick moment frozen in time.

"Awesome," Kris says as he pulls on the pile of notes they've been sharing and passing between each other for two weeks. Anoop gets his bearings and clicks back to Kris's "LITPAPERFROMHELL.doc" file.

It's quiet for a few minutes, and Anoop makes a few edits on Kris's opening paragraph, reading and nodding along. When Kris breaks the silence to let out a little cough, Anoop lifts his head and pauses for a few seconds to just look.

Adam has shifted forward a little bit, his left hand petting Kris's hair while he types with his right. Kris is slumped sideways, his head resting on Adam's knee as he shuffles through the crumpled pages of their draft. A handful of seconds later, Kris kisses Adam's knee and lifts his left arm so he can tangle his fingers with Adam's, their hands resting on Kris's left shoulder. Anoop thinks it must be uncomfortable, flexing his arm like that just to hold hands with his boyfriend, but Kris doesn't seem to mind at all, doesn't even look like he noticed what he just did, and just keeps reading. They both look like they're used to handling schoolwork one-handed, and Anoop feels a sudden pang in his chest.

Anoop hasn't had a girlfriend since Becky in the eighth grade, and that barely counts - they just sat together and shared lunch every day; he walked her home sometimes and held her hand whenever he managed to gather up the courage. All through high school, it'd been easy to walk through hallways and parties full of couples making out; intellectually he knew it was just hormones going overdrive, and he didn't feel like he was missing all that much. But this, Kris and Adam's almost unnerving amount of ease in their domesticity, this is the kind of thing he sees in his parents and older cousins, never people his own age. Anoop has known both of them for years, has seen them walk down the hall holding hands or whatever countless times, but he usually runs with a different crowd, and he's never spent this kind of time with them.

"Baby, Cale's asking if you're still on for tomorrow afternoon," Adam's voice suddenly cuts through the quiet and interrupts Anoop's thoughts.

"Yeah, unless Ryland cancels," Kris answers without looking up. "Why didn't he text me?"

Adam shrugs. "Dunno, guess it was easier to ask in chat?"

Kris _hmm_ s absently and continues to read, not even flinching when Adam lets go of his left hand and blindly taps on his shoulder until Kris replaces it with his right. It's like a bizarre kind of telepathy, and Anoop looks away before he gets caught staring. So he focuses on his work, diligently reading and editing, but he can't help glancing back up a few more times, whenever he glimpses a flash of movement in front of him. There's Kris letting go of Adam's hand to take Anoop's laptop and start typing - they shift around until Kris is sitting snug between Adam's legs. There's Adam laughing loudly at something and Kris looking up at him with a grin. There's Adam setting his laptop aside and massaging Kris's shoulders. It's all so adorably sweet, and Anoop has never imagined he would think those words about things that aren't babies and small animals.

"This section is great, Kris," Anoop says after he looks it over one last time. "I'll type up the conclusions - I don't think it'll be more than a page long."

Kris's smile is tired, but relieved. "Oh my god, finally. Yeah, sure, I'm almost done with this too. Don't forget to say that thing about the dinosaurs."

Adam snorts at that. "Wait, what? Dinosaurs?"

Kris nods. "Uh huh. It's an awesome metaphor we came up with, Mrs. J. should give as an A just for that."

"A dinosaur metaphor for comparative literature? Oooookay then," Adam says, winking at Anoop and ruffling Kris's hair.

It's like he gets a second wind, because suddenly words start flowing out of Anoop's fingertips, complex sentences forming quickly in his mind and he gets them down on the page immediately, his hands flying on Kris's keyboard. He fills a page and a half in record time. The next time he looks up, Kris is curled on the couch, eyes closed and head resting on Adam's lap. Adam smiles at him, kind and a little embarrassed. "You were on a roll, he didn't want to interrupt. Dozed off a couple minutes ago."

"M'awake," Kris mumbles, eyes slitting open as he sits up. Adam steadies Kris with his hands and pulls until Kris slumps against him, yawning, glasses askew on his face.

"It's okay, man," Anoop says. "I'm just about ready to pass out too. We're finally _done_ , Jesus."

Kris feebly waves his hands around. "Yaaay." He yawns again. "Just email me all the stuff you have and I'll put it all together."

"Yeah okay," Anoop bites down a yawn before he can answer. "Then send it to me for one last read-through, I'll take care of the hard copy."

"Awesome. I love you, man, but I'm so glad we never have to do this ever again," Kris says as he leans forward to switch laptops and pile up their notes.

Anoop's up on his toes and stretching, feeling his muscles relax, flooded with relief that they're finally finished. Sleep, he resolves. Sleep for the rest of the weekend, no more schoolwork until Monday night. He sighs at the thought of his big, comfortable bed waiting for him. It's going to be amazing.

His relaxing train of thought is derailed by Adam's sudden, indignant squawk. "What the hell is that picture doing there, Kristopher?"

Kris looks at the laptop screen and then back to Adam, puzzled. "What's wrong?"

"I look like an idiot," Adam sighs. "And all blown up like that, gross."

"Aww, I think you look cute," Kris says, rolling his eyes before pushing the screen down. "Stop yelling."

Adam pouts and Anoop can't help but laugh, feeling kind of giddy. "I hope I don't offend you guys when I say I'm itching to leave," he says as he packs up his things.

Kris just laughs, shuffling slowly to the front door, dragging Adam behind him. "It's all good. I'm getting kind of sick of you too," he says, eyes twinkling.

Once he's shouldered his backpack, he follows them to the foyer, slapping their backs in his patented bro-hugs before stepping out the door. "Thank your mom for me, Kris. I'm gonna have to come back here for some more of that pie soon."

"Anytime, man. And no more papers from hell next time."

"Drive safe, Anoop."

Anoop makes it halfway down the drive before he hears a loud shout of laughter from inside the house. He smiles and shakes his head, and keeps on walking.

 

 **four**

 

He's lugging his amp through Ryland's garage door, and he stops when he sees the tableau in front of him. Adam is wedged in one corner of the beat-up couch and Kris is sprawled next to him, head pillowed on Adam's lap. Kris is idly plucking at his guitar and Adam is singing along under his breath - Alison Krauss, he can barely hear, and Adam's voice gets clearer and clearer as Andrew makes his way further into the room.

Adam smiles at him when he lets go of the amp with a grunt. "Hey, Dickie."

Andrew rolls his eyes, sighing when Kris lets out a little giggle. "Hi. Ryland's inside?"

"Went to get some food," Kris says. "Adam promised not to be too mean to you."

Adam narrows his eyes and tugs at Kris's hair. "Shut up."

Andrew just laughs as he continues to set up his electric. "Nah, it's good. You can say whatever you want, Adam. We're still kind of feeling it out, any feedback would help."

"I'm sure you're doing just fine. I'm happy to guide you or whatever," Adam says.

Cale staggers in, almost toppling over as he sets his own amp on the floor. "We really need a better system."

"It's always been every man for himself when it comes to equipment, man," Kris says as he sits up, leaning across Adam to set the guitar down beside the couch.

"Yes, and I'm saying we need to change it," Cale huffs from his crouch on the floor. "Hey, Adam, thanks for doing this."

Andrew watches from his perch on his amp as Adam absently straightens Kris's collar and uses his fingers to fix his hair. Watches as Kris just grins and lies back down on the couch, clutching Adam's hand to his chest. "No problem," Adam says again.

Andrew still remembers the day Kris showed up in school with silver polish painted on his fingernails. They sparkled every time he moved his hands. Later that afternoon, sitting in Ryland's garage and tooling around on their guitars, they glittered and shone, and were more than a little distracting.

Kris had caught his gaze. "Weird?" he asked, a strange smile on his lips.

Andrew had shaken his head. "No. Just... new."

And that was that.

It was a little startling at first, how one day Kris and Adam just started blushing whenever they were within five feet of each other, grinning like maniacs if they got closer. Normally he wouldn't even notice these things, but for a solid month it was all the girls could talk about. They'd all been friends for years, and Andrew considers all of them his brothers and sisters, it seemed almost incestuous, two of his siblings suddenly falling into a romantic relationship. But Kris and Adam were totally undramatic about it, transitioned almost seamlessly, and it's kind of unbelievable being right there to watch them kind of grow up and into each other.

Kris is usually with them for jam sessions, but Adam doesn't come around too often - he loves to play rock star as much as the rest of them, but theater and choir usually came first. It's a shame, because whenever they get the chance to play together, Adam's a pretty badass lead singer. But this time they're killing two birds with one stone - Mr. D. does RENT in five year cycles, and they're lucky to catch another go-around in their senior year. They're auditioning a band instead of utilizing the school orchestra, and a bunch of them decided to go for it. Adam's waiting to get cast and is one of the assistant music directors - he'd agreed to sit in on their rehearsal that afternoon, give them pointers and help out a little. None of them have any real playing experience beyond their little jam sessions and the very occasional party, and Andrew thinks they need all the help they can get.

Kris insists that he's not good enough to take a spot - they all just rolled their eyes at him - but he won't have time for it anyway, since all-state rehearsals are in full swing and he got first chair. He's spending the afternoon with them for no real reason, just that Kris can't say no to jamming even if it's this specialized. And Kris never says no to Adam.

It'll probably look kind of strange to other people if they saw them rehearsing together like this - three lead guitarists, and two pianists, drummers and bassists each - but it's always been this way with them. They're only competitive when it's fun (they've already destroyed two sets of Rock Band equipment - they get really intense, okay), otherwise they push each other to do better, and they never hold grudges. Andrew's looking forward to making Monte run for his money, and he's more than fine with the eventual second string position he'll get.

There's a honk outside, and Andrew knows that it's Lee come to drop Tommy, Chris and Monte off. Cale gets up and heads out the door to help out. Andrew stays and continues setting up, trying to make the equipment fit the small space. Ryland comes in with a tin of Danish cookies and they laugh at Kris making airplane noises as he tries to make Adam eat.

Once they're settled, they go at it for a solid two hours - they already have the easiest songs down pat, so they quickly move to the more complicated ones, helping each other out and critiquing each other, switching off to harmonize. Adam coaches them all through it, singing along, teaching them how to keep up with the liberties singers will take with the melody, warning them about the repetitiveness of rehearsal ("Oh man, you're gonna want to wring all of their necks," Kris says while Adam glares). It's great to have someone who knows his shit, and with Adam around, finally Andrew feels like he's got his legs under him, like this is something he can actually _do_ instead of just stumbling into it by accident. Adam knows his shit so well it's really kind of ridiculous, and when he catches Kris's sappy, proud grin half a dozen times in the first hour, he knows he's not the only one who thinks so.

Andrew's hand is sore and fingertips halfway to numb before Adam calls for a break. Ryland and Monte go to the kitchen to get some drinks, and the rest of them stay behind and huddle together to try to harmonize the tricky La Vie Boheme chorus. Adam and Kris stay on the couch - Adam drinking his special tea from the tumbler he brought, and Kris sprawled next to him, tooling on his guitar as always.

Kris is strumming a familiar chord - Andrew's a few seconds away from figuring out what song it is when Adam interrupts.

"If you kick me one more time, I'm leaving you," Adam says firmly.

Kris just laughs and continues to tap his sock feet on Adam's chest. Then he starts singing - "when I come to the club, set aside, oh snap, part the seas don't be havin' me in the line, oh snap" - all of them start laughing at Kris's playfully earnest performance, Adam loudest of them all, head bopping exaggeratedly and leering as he sings "me love you long time". Kris blushes at that, and Andrew catches Tommy's gaze. They roll their eyes at each other and laugh some more.

They mumble through the next verse and laugh through two rounds of the chorus and suddenly Andrew feels a burst of renewed energy spread through his body, warmth flowing down his arm and through his hands and fingers. He wants to get this piece _down_ , he's excited to maybe get the chance to play RENT the way it was meant to - behind a talented cast, in a theater full of people that are there to let the music wash over them and change them. It's not quite rock and roll, but it doesn't have to be. Andrew thinks he might like to do more stuff like this, when he gets the chance.

He's all inspired and hopeful, and as he watches Kris and Adam grin stupidly at each other while singing, his stomach bottoms out a little, and he thinks of what it would be like to be with someone like that, someone who loves music just as much as he does. It's great to jam with the guys, and they're talking about someday maybe putting together a real band, but he sees Adam tug on Kris's shirt, and it's the only sign Kris needs to switch to something Adam apparently wants to sing, and Andrew wishes so much that it could be that easy for him too.

Ryland starts tapping out the beat to _I'll Cover You_ and Andrew drags his attention back to his guitar, fingers already forming the right chords to the song, and as always, he's taken over by the music. He can't help one last glance back to the couch - Kris has put his acoustic away and Adam's singing, tapping his feet to the melody. Andrew's about to turn away, but before he can, he sees Kris reach out to take Adam's hand and kiss it, clutching it in both of his before happily leaning on the couch, content to sit back and watch.

 _A new lease you are, my love  
On life, be my life_

 

 **five**

 

Lee is grateful that he splurged on this pair of sunglasses. He'd balked at the price tag at first, yet he soldiered on and bought it even as Scarlett raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. His last pair was cheap, and he'd have burned his retinas if he tried to wear 'em now. The sun is high in the sky, and the glare from the water is almost unnatural.

July has barely started, and it's already their fourth (fifth?) afternoon at the lake. At the rate they're going, they're gonna clock more than a dozen trips before they separate for the fall.

Lee feels a sharp pang in his chest at the thought, and he tries to will it away. _Just enjoy the time you have left. Don't dwell._ It's been is mantra since May, but repeating it over and over in his head doesn't work for long. He lets his gaze drift past the grill, past the huge tent, past the epic water fight building in the middle of the lake, and landing on the group of girls lounging in lawn chairs under some shade way at the other end of the lake. He eyes Scarlett in unashamed appreciation - seeing her in a bikini will never, ever get old, no matter how many times it's been - and he feels a grin twist on his lips when he sees her burst out laughing, probably at something Alisan said. Her laugh, the sound of it, how she throws her head back - it always makes him warm all over. He can't imagine not hearing it every day.

It's going to be pretty fucking difficult enough as it is to say goodbye to his friends come fall. He'll freely admit that, even if he isn't usually the touchy-feely type. It's going to be hell, and though the idea of college is exciting and freeing, he wishes he can put it off. Saying goodbye to Scarlett will be... he doesn't even have words for it.

She's been in his life _forever_ , they've been dating on and off since they were thirteen, shit, and they finally got their act together at the end of junior year. It's been pretty great, and yeah, they're going to try their damnedest to stay together while he's in Chicago and she's in Rhode Island, but they both know it's probably never going to be the same.

A loud yell from someone in the water pulls him out of his thoughts, and he can't help his laugh when he sees Cassidy perched on Cale's shoulders, arms flailing around. Tommy's climbing on Andrew, steady and smirking, and Lee wants to pull Scarlett away from her tanning so they can play too.

He's about to dart forward to get her when Kris suddenly appears next to him, panting, hair a wet mess. "Hey, man," Kris kind of gasps, a crazy grin on his face. "You playing?"

Lee smiles back. "Yeah, I'm gonna get Scarlett. You think the girls will let her leave?"

The girls are all watching the game too, giggling and jeering. Adam, Ryland and Matt are sitting on the ground next to them, soaking wet and laughing, too.

"I'm sure she'll let you drag her away if you ask nicely enough," Kris says, smirking.

"Yeah, I think so too." Lee goes to the tent, set up right at the shore, and he pulls his sunglasses off, hooking it on the back of Ferras's shirt. "Lemme know if you wanna come in, I'll switch after we play," Lee says to him, and he only barely hears Ferras's answering, "I'll hold you to that!" as he jogs away.

It's not a very long walk around the lake, and he smiles when he hears Scarlett laugh again. He makes his way to the back of her chair and looms over her, blocking the sunlight.

"Hey, stranger," Scarlett smiles up at him.

"Hi, you," he says, pushing away the stray bangs off her forehead. "Care to make fools out of those guys?"

"I thought you'd never ask," she says as she gets up. She jumps unceremoniously on his back, looping her arms around his neck. "Let's show 'em how it's done."

Lee runs forward until they're splashing in the water and Scarlett's shrieking in his ear. "Holy shit, it's cold!" she cries, and it really is, but Lee doesn't care. She's a warm weight on his back, familiar and easy to bear, and he almost regrets getting into the water so quickly, it's only a few seconds and he doesn't feel like he's carrying her at all.

They get there just in time to see Cassidy fall in the water with a loud yell, and Lee dips under as soon as Scarlett grips his shoulder in a wordless signal. He draws back up and she's steady, eager for this, already trash-talking Tommy. Lee shakes the water off his face and raises an eyebrow at Andrew challengingly. There's a "ready, steady, go!" from somewhere to his right and then they're fighting, Lee plants his legs on the mulchy lake floor as best he can, and he holds tightly on Scarlett's knees.

After what feels like three hours of an intense workout, he and Scarlett rack up six wins and lose only once, and that was to Allison and Cale, so it totally doesn't count. His arms and legs ache something fierce, but he doesn't care; he'd gladly play a hundred more games if that meant he can lazily float in the water with Scarlett wrapped all around his back, her talented hands massaging his aching shoulders.

"I got my roommate packet in the mail today," she says after a long, content silence.

"Hmm?"

"Her name is Rachel. She's from Boston. She's interning at the Met this summer, I think I'm dying of jealousy, a little bit," she says into his ear. After a pause, she adds, "It's getting more and more real, isn't it?"

"What's real?" Lee asks, feeling a little drowsy, even more lulled by the sound of her voice.

"All of it. College. Art school. Moving," she says with a heavy sigh.

Lee sighs too, and he doesn't know what to say to that without getting both of them upset. So he just pulls on her arms until she's flush against his back, arms wound tight around his neck. He kisses her arm and they drift for a while in melancholy silence.

The rest of the group is pretty much doing what they are, chatting and floating in the water, the soft cadence of their voices so painfully familiar. He can easily pick out Danielle's laugh and Brad's exaggerated drawl and if he strains hard enough, even Chris's laugh all the way to the tent. Cale, Matt, Anoop and Tommy are manning the grill, making dinner while Allison hovers behind them, trying to learn. He turns his head a little and sees Adam and Kris sitting on the dock, Adam sitting between Kris's legs, his feet dangling in the water. Their heads dart toward someone swimming close to them - Andrew? - and they all burst out laughing. Adam pretty much rests his full weight on Kris, and Kris just grabs his hands and kisses his shoulder.

Lee is suddenly taken over by a wave of sickening jealousy that makes his breath catch in his throat. This is just another summer for Kris and Adam; they're not counting down the days until they have to watch the other drive away to a totally new life. They don't feel an ounce of the misery that twists Lee's stomach when he thinks of his moving date, when he tries to imagine being thousands of miles away from Scarlett, when he thinks of the distance breaking them up eventually. His grip on Scarlett's arms tighten minutely, and she kisses his ear in answer.

He doesn't begrudge them anything, he never has, but Kris and Adam get to stay together, _live_ together, and that's such a mindfuck right there. It's been more than a year, wow, and Lee honestly can't remember what it was like before they weren't a _them_. So stable and strong, right from the very beginning. It was a little frustrating to watch them back then, still so new to it yet making it all look easy while Lee struggled with just getting on the same page as Scarlett. All through senior year, they were treated as the two old married couples of the group, and that was fine, but now they get to have what he can't, and all Lee can feel now is sadness and pre-emptive grief.

When Lee lets his gaze drift back to the dock, Adam had turned around to kind of curl around Kris. The sun's almost set, and Lee knows that Kris is always the first of them to get cold. Lee watches Adam make the executive decision to stand and walk back to the tent, smiles at the sight of Adam toweling Kris down like a newly-bathed puppy, sighs a little when Kris pulls on a shirt and Adam drapes his ridiculous leather jacket on his tiny shoulders, drawing him into a long hug.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Scarlett murmurs into his temple.

"I love you," is the only thing he can think of to say.

He's rewarded with a smiling kiss on his cheek. "I love you too, mister."


	4. stars light up the evening

or: five completely normal afternoons

 **one  
day six**

 

The cool metal on Kris's back contrasts wonderfully with Adam's heat all over his front, and it's great, his boyfriend pressing him into a row of lockers in an empty hallway at school - totally cliché, but mostly they don't care about that anymore - but Kris can't help but think _this would be so much better if we had a bed_. His hand drifts slowly up the curve of Adam's neck (the way he now knows drives Adam crazy - he did it by accident a couple days ago, fumbling to hold on to something as Adam kissed him stupid; he was surprised at the strong reaction but loved that he could make it happen, that full-body shiver Adam couldn't suppress), fingers caressing skin and soft tufts of hair. Kris opens his mouth further, sighing in welcome when Adam's tongue dips in for a taste, back arching up for more when Adam steps between his legs. They are so very, very good at this, and even if it must be their thousandth kiss in the last six days, Kris's stomach still flutters, and he feels all tingly and excited and _giddy_ like it's their very first.

Kris groans at the sweet-sharp press of teeth behind his ear, hand immediately fisting tight on Adam's shirt and tilting himself impossibly closer, their hips slotting together when Kris wraps his arms around Adam's neck. Kris shuts his eyes and kisses Adam with all of his heart, the feel of Adam's thighs pressing against his a little too much to bear standing up, too much pleasure, not enough naked skin, and they still have rehearsal to get through -- _crap_.

Kris pulls away, panting, hand carefully petting Adam's hair when Adam lets out a soft little whine. Kris takes a moment to clear his throat. "Can't be late," he rasps as he presses a small kiss at the jut of Adam's jaw.

Adam doesn't even skip a beat - his left hand clutches at Kris's waist and pins his hips to the wall of metal so they're pressed all along each other as closely as their clothes could allow. Adam's other hand makes its way down Kris's side, into the back pocket of his jeans and squeezes as he runs his tongue on the roof of Kris's mouth. Kris presses back, helpless and aching, and he doesn't know how much time passes before he pulls away one more time, head spinning and feeling completely off-balance.

"Adam," he gasps, both hands cradling Adam's face.

Adam's opens his eyes slowly, and his gaze makes Kris's heart knock in his chest. "Kris," Adam sighs, grasping Kris's waist and pressing their foreheads together. "You need to stop being so --" he starts then stops, eyes raking down Kris's body.

It's so unfair how Adam can _do_ that, make Kris feel it like a physical touch, make Kris's knees weak. He clears his throat again. "Being... what?" he asks, eyebrows raised.

Adam narrows his eyes. "You know exactly what you are," he huffs, pressing a sloppy kiss on Kris's forehead before slinging an arm around his shoulders and pulling them both down the hall.

"I know exactly what I am," Kris agrees, warmed. His hand drifts up under Adam's crazy layers, searching, until he can grip Adam's naked waist. He hears Adam's breath hitch as his fingers move, and it makes him grin. "Film went well?"

"Yeah, I got an A," Adam answers happily. "Ugh, I love that class so much. I'm gonna miss it when it's over."

They amble forward at a leisurely pace, talking about their day. They pass through a couple more mostly-empty hallways and then squeeze into the long-familiar stairway, their footsteps echoing in the small space. Adam pushes the heavy door open and they slide into the auditorium, fingers tangling together as they walk down the narrow aisle. Kris immediately spots their friends gathered right around front row, audibly bickering about something.

"What's up?" Adam asks as they sidle up to the group.

"Dinner plans," Danielle answers with an eyeroll. "We're gonna end up at the diner anyway, I don't know why we have to do this every single time."

It's difficult to keep up with the conversation when it sounds like there are at least three people talking all at once. So Kris just stands there and listens, laughing at the crazy faces Allison keeps making over Brad's shoulder.

A few minutes later, Matt and Megan appear next to them, and Kris doesn't even really need to think before taking a step to the left, planting himself right in front of Adam to make space. Adam absently slides an arm around his waist and tugs him close all while chatting with Danielle. Kris smothers a smile, loving the ease in which they move in each other's space, how it's already second nature for them to always reach out and touch, how even the simplest contact can center him, make everything a little bit better.

"Aren't we running 'til 9 tonight?" Megan asks, and Kris kind of wants to burst out laughing - all this fighting over dinner plans, and nobody thought of how late rehearsal was going to run.

"No, that's not 'til Friday. I think it's 8 tonight? Seven thirty?" Allison answers, frowning. "Friday's gonna suck."

Kris grimaces in sympathy. He's been in the orchestra since middle school, and he's been roped into theater productions about half a dozen times, so he's more than used to how hectic it gets the month before a performance. Allison, on the other hand, is new to all of it. "It's easy when you get used to it. You'll get there," Kris says. "In the meantime, Red Bull works."

"If we're running 'til 8, I can't do dinner," Brad pouts. "I haven't started that chem paper and it's due tomorrow."

"Shit, that's tomorrow? Yeah, no, I'm gonna have to run home," Matt says. "I'm up for whatever on Friday, though."

"I think we're all gonna want to kill ourselves on Friday. Fun! My house, then," Alisan pipes up while fiddling with her phone. "Girls can stay the night."

"Wait, so no more dinner tonight?" Danielle asks.

"I'm up for it, but only if we do quick and dirty at the diner," Megan answers.

Allison nods in agreement, and Kris tips his chin up to look at Adam. "We can do dinner, right?" he asks. It's a light week for both of them, and he knows Adam's basically homework-free until Monday.

Adam smiles and presses a kiss on the side of his head. "Yeah, we can do dinner."

Kris only has to endure everybody's raised eyebrows for a few seconds before Mr. D. suddenly appears, clapping his hands and calling for Act 2 positions. He just has time to press a haphazard kiss on Adam's chin before scurrying down to the pit, scrambling to take his viola out and flip to the right page in the score. He sheepishly meets their conductor's admonishing glare, but he's a pro at this, able to find his concentration quickly, and by the time Mr. D. starts the run-through, Kris is more than ready.

\---

Rehearsal is as smooth as it gets at this point in the preparation process and Mr. D. only yells at the orchestra four times, so Kris counts the afternoon as a win. It's tedious and repetitive, it always is, but he knows it's worth it. He loves when the orchestra gets in a groove, their individual bits of music seamlessly coming together, in perfect harmony with the voices of the singers above them. It's fantastic, ten times better than when it's just them sitting on a stage and playing on their own for an hour and a half. Kris loves the interplay of music and lyrics, the story they tell together, how it's easy to switch moods or tug at heartstrings or make the audience laugh in the space of one measure.

And it's thrilling - it always is - to hear Adam sing.

Kris packs his stuff up, waves a vague goodbye to the other people left in the pit and shuffles to the audience seats, collapsing onto a chair as he waits for his dinner companions. The principals are still onstage, crowded around Mr. D. while the rest of the cast trickle out of the auditorium. Kris smiles when Megan and Danielle plop down on either side of him.

"Mr. D. is a slave driver," Megan groans into his shoulder.

Kris laughs lightly and pats her head. "No more than usual, I thought. He's always like this, three weeks out."

"Ugh, I know. You're lucky you get to stay down there and never actually face his wrath."

"Our conductors are worse. There's no escape - they're always right there, all up in your face." Kris wrinkles his nose. "They don't have to yell to terrify us, pretty much."

Danielle's trying really hard to curl on her side, her torso twisting, head resting on Kris's arm as she tucks her feet under her. "M'so tired. And I'm starving," she sighs.

Kris can't help the huge yawn that comes out of his mouth. "Me too." He rests his head on the back of the chair and lets his gaze settle on Adam standing on stage. Adam's shoulders are slumped, hair a little messy, eyes almost scary in their focus. _He's beautiful_ , Kris thinks, smiling slightly as he takes in the shape of Adam's legs showcased very nicely by his jeans; the curve of Adam's arms, pale and freckled, free from the confines of a jacket for once - Kris can almost feel the smooth skin in his palms; the line of Adam's neck, lovely and perfect for kissing and nuzzling and biting.

When Adam's eyes catch his, Kris knows he's been caught staring. He just smirks and rakes his eyes slowly down Adam's body and back up again, meeting Adam's eyes, completely unashamed. Kris can just barely see Adam's jaw drop in shock, can imagine the adorable blush staining his cheeks as he shakes his head and deliberately wrenches his gaze back to Mr. D. Kris huffs a quiet laugh, feeling a little smug, tilting his head a little to be able to fully appreciate the curve of Adam's ass, a small pool of heat gathering at the pit of his stomach at the vivid memory of what it feels like under his hands. Every part of him is alert, all of a sudden, aching to touch and to hold.

It's ridiculous, how he can get worked up so quickly with just some stray thoughts and a little bit of staring. Adam drives Kris crazy in every way, and it's intense, _exhilarating_ , about two dozen kinds of wonderful.

"It's like you're trying to melt him with your eyes," Megan says suddenly.

Kris has learned to stopped blushing when he's around Adam - it was a quick lesson, really - but he still isn't quite used to getting teased by their friends. "Can't help it," he murmurs, smiling.

"Adam's top of the line eye candy, I agree," and Kris doesn't even to look at Megan to know that she's smirking. "That ass is _magical_."

Danielle doesn't even try to muffle her breathless giggles. Kris just smiles helplessly, unembarrassed, feeling a little dreamy. "You don't even know the half of it," he says as smoothly as he can. Both girls break out in hysterical laughter, and all eyes in the auditorium fly to them.

Kris just shrugs his innocence and stands when the onstage pow-wow breaks up, grinning when Adam comes up to him and palms the back of his neck.

"You're mean," Adam pouts.

"No I'm not," Kris says as he slides an arm around Adam's waist, more than happy to bear Adam's exhausted weight. "You're very pretty. I couldn't help it."

Adam laughs and pulls him closer. "Flatterer."

"I only speak the truth," Kris whispers. "You okay, babe?"

"I'm so tired," Adam sighs, nuzzling the top of Kris's head. "I need my bed."

"Food first, and then I'll tuck you in."

Megan takes Allison and Danielle in her car, and Adam curls up in Kris's passenger seat, sighing happily when Kris reaches out to stroke his hair. "I really love your hands," Adam murmurs wistfully, and it makes Kris's insides jolt. "I really love when you touch me."

Kris just smiles and threads his fingers with Adam's.

The diner is half-empty when they get there, so it's easy to commandeer a booth by the window. As soon as they all settle in, Adam tips sideways and rests his head on Kris's shoulder, yawning. "Three more weeks of this, oh my God."

Kris runs his hand up and down Adam's back, trying to soothe. "You guys sound great. It'll be over in no time."

Allison folds her arms on the table and props her chin on top of them. "It's coming together pretty well, right? It's not just my imagination?"

Megan tugs at her hair. "Everything's fine. No disasters. Opening is going to be so awesome."

"I'm getting excited, actually," Danielle says as her fingers trace random patterns on the cracked tabletop. "I mean, I know rehearsals are gonna get worse, but I love putting on the show. There's nothing like it."

The waitress sets down five glasses of lukewarm water and they all take hesitant sips. Kris doesn't need it - he didn't just spend the last three hours singing his face off - but he drinks for solidarity's sake. It'd be pretty mean if he drank a chocolate milkshake in front of them.

It's another few minutes of quiet conversation before their food is served. Kris takes a hearty bite of his double cheeseburger and fights not to let out a loud, embarrassing moan. Adam's quirked eyebrow tells him that Adam knows what he's thinking anyway, and he just shrugs as he chews. He really likes food, so what. Adam kind of shakes his head and kisses his cheek, silly and fond - he figures he wins points for putting a smile on Adam's face tonight.

The three girls across the table are all paused in the middle of chewing or taking bites of their own meals as they watch, ridiculous grins on their faces. They look like they're on the verge of cooing at them like they were babies. Or small animals. Kris feels a blush start to spread on his cheeks, so he ducks his head and busies himself with dumping chicken fingers on Adam's salad. When Adam slaps his hand in protest, Kris just levels him with a stern look. "Sorry, your days of getting away with this are over," he says.

"I take it all back. I don't like you anymore."

Kris just snickers and takes another bite of his (awesome) burger, winking at Danielle when he sees her approving grin. It seems Adam's too hungry and too tired to argue much more so he just digs in, and Kris tries not to look too smug as he licks stray mustard off his fingers. They all bicker lightly over the plate of fries they're sharing, voice their disgust when Megan takes all the pickles and pops them into her mouth one by one, and choke on their food when Allison makes a particularly gross joke about chicken nuggets.

They order one slice of chocolate cake and one slice of carrot cake for dessert. It becomes obvious that they're all exhausted when they devolve into yawning after every other bite. Adam tips sideways again and Kris just wraps an arm around him, feeding them both with the fork in his left hand.

\---

After a round of hugs and kisses at the parking lot, Kris and Adam slide back into Kris's car with matching sighs. Once they pull into the street, Adam reaches out and cradles Kris's right hand in both of his, dozing through the short ride to his house.

"Time for bed, babe," Kris says as he turns off the engine.

Adam's eyes flutter open, and he just keeps his bleary gaze on Kris for a handful of seconds.

Kris smiles and cups his cheek. "C'mon, superstar."

Adam lets out a soft sound of protest when Kris pulls his hand away and gets out of the car. He's still slumped miserably in his seat when Kris opens the passenger door.

"You left me," Adam pouts.

Kris smothers a grin and slings Adam's backpack on his shoulders. "I'm right here. You gotta get up so you can get some real sleep, okay?"

Adam blinks at Kris for a few seconds, and then gingerly gets to his feet. Kris immediately throws an arm around his waist to keep his balance, and they slowly make their way to the door. Adam giggles and nuzzles at Kris's ear when Kris slides a hand into his back pocket to get his house keys; Kris just smiles, indulgent, and lets them both in the house as quietly as possible. It's nice, taking care of Adam like this, getting to do this for him after itching to do it for months on end.

Adam wakes up enough to make the trip up the stairs easy on them both; Kris kind of just stands there and watches him robotically go through what is presumably a truncated version of his bedtime routine. Kris keeps an ear out for trouble when Adam putters around in the bathroom, relieved when he walks out unharmed. Adam grabs Kris's hand and pulls until they're both lying on the bed.

"Thank you for dinner, baby," Adam murmurs.

Kris's face is mashed into Adam's shoulder and he can't move his limbs because Adam's coiled all around him, but Kris loves it all the same, doesn't really want to be anywhere else but here. "You're welcome. Close your eyes and go to sleep, you need your rest."

Adam snuffles and somehow tightens his grip around Kris. "M'kay. G'night."

Kris presses a soft kiss on Adam's neck and smiles. "Sweet dreams, love."

 

 **Kris:** _Line went dead, babe. Phone issues?_  
 **Kris:** _Adam?_  
 **Kris:** _Did you really fall asleep before me?_  
 **Kris:** _You fell asleep before me!!!_  
 **Kris:** _Brb marking this down on my calendar_  
 **Kris:** _You're gonna read this in the morning and you're gonna be so mad :D_  
 **Kris:** _Sleep tight <3<3<3_  
 **Adam:** _Jeez baby_  
 **Kris:** _Good morning, sleepyhead!_  
 **Adam:** _Stoppppp_  
 **Kris:** _And how are you doing today?_  
 **Adam:** _Stop being smug it was the first time_  
 **Kris:** _Aww let me have this one_  
 **Adam:** _I was tired okay_  
 **Kris:** _I know babe, just teasing :*_  
 **Adam:** _Cmere i wanna cuddle_  
 **Kris:** _Lol okay lemme get dressed_  
 **Adam:** _Hurry_  
 **Adam:** _< 33333_

 

 **two  
day 105**

 

It's a routine they've fallen into. Adam growls at his alarm and rolls out of bed at 7:10, checks his phone and gets dressed, then stretches as he waits for Kris to pick him up at 7:35. For half an hour, they jog around the neighborhood, in a kind of crazy, circuitous route that leads them to the edge of the park. It took a couple of weeks, but by now they're used to it, their muscles no longer screaming in pain but luxuriating in being used every morning. They slow down as they get close and stretch when they get there, spotting each other, splitting a towel and a bottle of water. They'd recently taken to sprawling on a bench or playing on the swings as they cool down.

Today is a bench day, and despite being drenched in sweat, Adam can't really make himself mind when Kris plants his head on his lap. Kris's hair is damp and wild, cheeks tinged red and still struggling to catch his breath. Adam's brain calls up an excruciatingly vivid picture of Kris looking much like this not even twelve hours ago, pinned underneath Adam in his bed, eyes shut tight as he came, untouched, between their stomachs. The vivid memory of the previous night along with many, _many_ similar others is a jolt to Adam's system - his heart knocks even harder in his chest, brain going a little fuzzy, breaths picking up like he'd just run a five-minute mile. It's barely eight in the morning and he's sitting on a park bench, almost all the way hard in his shorts just at the mere thought of sex with his boyfriend.

Yeah, he's seventeen year old guy at the mercy of his hormones, but this is a little ridiculous.

Adam grips Kris's chin in his hand and leans his head down for a kiss. He can't help but immediately dip his tongue inside the warm, ever-willing mouth, deep and a little forceful. Kris can tell from the first touch, and he feels instead of seeing Kris's smirk as he kisses back.

"Shut up," Adam murmurs into his mouth, and then Kris laughs, breaking the kiss, sitting up to wrap an arm around Adam's waist.

"I'm all sweaty and dirty and it still gets you hot, huh," Kris says as he mouths at Adam's jaw.

He turns his head to catch Kris's lips again. "Shut _up_ ," he answers, but he can't get mad, not when Kris's fingers curl around his ears to keep him close. Kris is giddy, practically bouncing beside him, dotting small kisses on every centimeter of Adam's lips, humming in satisfaction. The urgency Adam felt earlier turns to an affectionate, lived-in warmth just underneath his skin, a little less intense but just as all-encompassing. It's easy to let himself drown in this and everything Kris makes him feel, to let go and be swept away by its ebbs and flows, staying grounded in certainty and trust.

Kris nips down his neck and smacks a loud kiss on his shoulder before sliding a hand down his arm and threading their fingers together. He gets up in one smooth movement and stands between Adam's knees, eyeing Adam's crotch with an adorable leer. "Think you can walk now, babe?"

Adam rolls his eyes and lets himself be pulled up. "Smug bastard." Kris just grins at him, eyes dancing with mischief. _Criminally_ adorable. Adam's helpless, he really is.

It's a five-minute walk back to Kris's house. On weekdays, Adam drops Kris off at the doorstep with a long and thorough goodbye kiss before they have to separate for the day - Kris to his job at his dad's office and Adam to school for the theater workshops they're holding for kids. They're together every night, at each other's houses or out with their friends, and they do it all over again the next day. It's not a very exciting summer, but Adam can't really complain. Teaching kids, tooling around with his friends just like always, spending all of his time with Kris - it's more than enough to keep him happy.

This morning, it takes them three times as long to get back, lingering and taking detours just because they could, talking all the way. Saturdays mean lake days, and they can take everything as slowly as they want today.

"You think Alli's packed yet?"

Adam snorts, thinking of the incredible mess that was Allison's room when he dropped by two days ago. "I doubt it. She puts everything off to the last minute and bitches when she forgets to bring stuff." It's her last day in town before she drives three hours to spend the last six weeks of summer vacation with her extended family. "She had to buy a new phone charger last summer, remember?"

"Maybe this time she'll leave her phone," Kris chuckles. " _You_ better not leave your phone when you go."

Adam sighs, just like he does every time his upcoming three-week stay at his dad's gets brought up. "I won't leave my phone. I'm not leaving my laptop either. Quit worrying."

"I'm not worrying! I'm just -"

"Just what?"

"I'm just concerned. And cautious."

"Yeah, whatever you say."

Kris swivels around and plants himself in front of Adam, gripping both of his hands. "I just - I just want you to be sure."

"It's gonna be fine, baby," Adam says, dropping a quick kiss on Kris's lips before pushing forward, down the street and around the corner. "And anyway, that's like two weeks away, it's not even on my radar yet. You're coming to the recital thing, right?"

"Going straight to school after work, yes. That's - that's a weird sentence to say."

"Yeah well, summer's weird. Oh man, I can't wait for you to hear this kid sing, he's going to blow your _mind_. He's six, and just - you'll pee your pants," Adam says with a flourish. Max is staying in town for the summer and joined his little cousins in the workshop. He'd opened his mouth and everyone - even the unflappable Mr. D. - had gaped in awe at the sounds he'd made with his mouth. Adam has been trying to think of a strategy to keep Max around, maybe recruit him to the elementary school drama club and groom him for high school, but most of that is a pipe dream. He's just glad Max is around this summer.

"I really hope I don't," Kris drawls, throwing Adam a bemused look. "But I'm excited. I don't think I've ever seen you this pumped about any of your kids."

Adam swings their joined hands between them as they start to shuffle their feet, slowly ambling up the Allens' driveway. "Just you wait."

It'll only be for an hour, but any separation is difficult (he's a sap, he owns it) and Adam hates saying goodbye. He presses Kris up against the door and kisses him deep, hovering over him and not letting up until his lungs are burning. Kris looks up at him, eyes glazed, mouth gorgeously red, and Adam has to remind himself that no, he really can't just push Kris inside the door and fuck him in the shower.

"Back soon," Adam whispers before opening the door and pushing Kris inside. He walks briskly to his house, throwing his shoes by the door before going into the kitchen. He chats with his mom over eggs, toast and OJ before she leaves for work and he takes a long shower. His duffel bag is open on his desk, already half-full of necessities. Adam stuffs in two extra shirts - one his, the other one Kris left in his closet - and a bottle of sunscreen before grabbing his phone and running back downstairs. He goes into the pantry and grabs two packs of hot dog buns, a bag of chips, and the cooler.

Once he's locked up behind him, he slowly makes his way back to Kris's house. Adam slides inside the kitchen door, dropping his stuff by the fridge before going up to Kris's room and finds Kris is sitting up against the headboard, fiddling with his phone. Adam crawls up the bed and lays his chin on Kris's stomach, settling down with a sigh. Kris's bed is almost as familiar as his own by now, and Adam relishes the feeling of being able to lay down, finally, after that morning run.

"Cale just woke up," Kris says. "He's swinging by in an hour."

"'kay," Adam murmurs, tugging Kris down so they share a pillow, arms and legs wrapping around him. "Megan says don't forget the ice this time. And the rootbeer."

"Got it." Kris sighs into his neck. "I think I left my trunks in your bag last time --"

"Yeah, mom found 'em and threw it in the laundry. It's downstairs."

"Oh. That's... is that weird?"

"She didn't say anything. And you've left, like, half your shirts in my room. It's no big deal."

"Okay. And hey - sunscreen?"

"Taken care of."

"Thank you," Kris says, pressing a kiss on his jaw.

"You're welcome. So hey."

"Hey what?"

Adam nudges backward a little and props his chin on his hand. "I met a boy at the park today."

Kris quirks a grin at him. "Oh really?"

"Uh huh. Kinda short, messy hair. So cute I wanted to put him in my pocket."

Kris snorts and cards his fingers through Adam's hair. "Cute, huh? What'd you say to him?"

"Hit on him. Told him he was hot. Tried to get in his pants." Adam fights not to purr under Kris's talented fingers, dropping down on the bed and closing his eyes, enjoying the soothing touch. "He played hard to get, but eventually he caved. They all do."

" _They_ , really?" Kris says, and Adam doesn't need to look to know that Kris's eyebrow is raised in that cute, trying-to-be-threatening-but-not-really way he does when he thinks Adam is being ridiculous. "Feeling a little cocky there, I see."

"I'm irresistible, admit it."

"I admit nothing," Kris says, but he betrays himself when he tips Adam's chin up and presses a slow, soft kiss on his lips. Adam sighs happily into his mouth and hitches closer, hand rubbing slow circles on Kris's back as their tongues curl together in that sweet, perfect way they'd gotten down mere minutes after their first kiss. It's so nice, the early morning light streaming around them as they share in this quiet moment. Just over three months in, and so much of this still feels so new; Adam still feels so privileged, so _lucky_ to have this.

They stay in bed for a while after that, talking and kissing, just enjoying each other. It's close to eleven when Cale texts _I'm on my way_ , and they haul themselves downstairs, taking the six-packs of root beer from the pantry and a bag of ice from the freezer and stuffing them into the cooler. They play-fight over which bags of chips Kris should bring (Kris insists on the red-hot Flaming Hot Cheetos, completely ignoring Adam's protests) and haul all of their stuff to the sidewalk when Cale honks his arrival.

Cale grins at them as he helps load everything into his van. "Megan texted me _twice_ about --"

"Ice, yeah," Kris says, rolling his eyes fondly. "She's never getting over that."

"Are we picking anyone up on the way?"

"Nah, it's just us. Matt already got Tommy and Allison, and Danielle has the rest of the girls. I think they're already there?"

It's a quick trip to the grocery store to pick up another bag of ice, and then they head to the lake just outside of town. It used to be a really popular spot, especially during the summer, but when the new water park opened up two towns over, they're really the only ones who still go. They have their routines down pat now - they rotate ice and soda duty, and they're all required to bring at least one huge bag of chips each, along with whatever assignments they've had for years. Ryland's a beast with the grill, and Danielle isn't allowed anywhere near it unless to eat; Cale and Allison aren't allowed to team up when they play chicken; every tube of sunscreen is fair game; everyone pitches in to clean up before leaving; no one disturbs Kris and Adam when they sneak off to the bushes on the far end of the property. That last "rule" had been enforced pretty quickly at the start of summer - in the span of two weeks, no less than three of their friends had caught them in compromising positions. Adam is beyond feeling embarrassed about it, honestly, it's long been known as the makeout spot - a ton of the older kids go to the lake just to use it, and many of their hide-and-seek games as kids were disrupted by their presence - so of course they were going to go there as often as they could.

When they get there, Ryland's flanked by Andrew and Monte and they'd already started grilling while Danielle and the girls are unfolding their lawn chairs in the designated sunbathing area across the lake. Once they've unloaded everything from the van, Cale and Adam help Lee put up the huge tent as Kris putters around the cooking area, yelling good-naturedly when Megan checks in on the ice situation. Cale opts to stay at the grill while Kris and Adam say hi to the girls.

"You're not packed, are you?" Adam smirks down at Allison before squeezing in next to her.

Allison rolls her eyes. "Have you no faith in me?"

"No, I really don't."

The whole group chuckles as Allison whales on Adam. "I hate you. For your information, I'm more than halfway done. And my room is the cleanest it's ever been in _years_ , it's awesome."

Adam takes the abuse as gracefully as he can, then throws his arm around her and kisses the top of her head. "Good. I'm gonna miss you, half-pint."

"I'll be back before you know it. I'm sorry I'm missing your recital thing."

"Oh, that's fine. Say hi to Nana for me, and send two boxes of cookies this time, okay?"

"I can wing that, sure."

From the corner of his eye, he sees Megan and Danielle pushing a resistant Kris onto a chair and tugging his shirt off. Adam watches them, slightly alarmed. "What's going on over there?"

Megan smiles at him innocently. "Your boyfriend's almost as pasty as you, Lambert. We can't let that stand."

"I believe I'm the only one allowed to undress him, _harlot_." He tries as hard as he can, but he isn't quite able to keep the stern expression on his face when Allison's giggling hysterically into his shoulder.

Megan laughs and blows him a kiss. "This is an intervention. Emergencies trump boyfriend rights. SPF 50 should do, am I right?"

Danielle's waving around an innocuous bottle of sunscreen, and that's when Adam jumps off his chair. "Drop it, Danielle. Drop it, and no one gets hurt."

Danielle - he's never calling her his BFF ever again - impishly throws the bottle to Scarlett who only barely manages to catch it, she's laughing so hard. Adam's eyes land on Kris, who's lounging in his chair with his arms crossed at the back of his head, a smug smile on his lips. Bastard.

"What did I ever do to you?" Adam says, eyes narrowed. It's difficult to keep up the angry face when Allison's clapping her hands in sheer glee and Megan is folded in half, clutching her stomach as she giggles hysterically.

"Let us have this one, Adam," Danielle chokes out as she drops to the ground. "You got dibs for the rest of time, we only want a quick taste."

"There will be no tasting!" Adam shrieks, laughing as he runs forward and drops down on Kris's lap.

Kris wraps his arms around him, muffling his giggles into the back of his neck. None of them can stop laughing - Scarlett and Megan are literally rolling on the ground - and when Matt comes up to them with a puzzled "What's going on?" it just sets them off all over again; Adam's reduced to _wheezing_ , it's insane, and Allison has tears streaming down her face. Kris is the first of them to calm down, and he rubs Adam's back soothingly whenever he coughs. They all taper off eventually, the girls crawling onto lawn chairs and lying down in exhausted heaps as they try to catch their breath. Adam slumps into Kris's grip, clutches Kris's hand to his chest, letting him feel the thump-thump-thump of his racing heart.

"I didn't know your voice could go that high, Adam," Scarlett wheezes after a long silence.

They all laugh weakly, and Adam half-heartedly slaps at her leg when he coughs. "Oh my God, stop making me laugh. No more. Please."

He feels Kris smile into the side of his head. "Should I go get you guys some water?"

"Nah, we'll get our own later," Adam says before pressing a haphazard kiss on the bit of shoulder he can reach. "Thank you, though."

"Don't want anyone's hands but yours," Kris murmurs and Adam's answering smile isn't even a little bit smug.

\---

Lunch is the usual, rowdy affair. They all let Tommy get away with eating two buns at once, loudly threaten to dump ice on Adam's head when he hems and haws about finishing his share, and lavish praises on Cale's person when he whips out a bottle of his mom's homemade mustard. They gossip about the things they've been up to in the two weeks since they'd been together like this, and they all fake cry at the reminder that Allison's leaving them until September.

"Oh, come on! It's not like I'm dying or anything!"

"You really shouldn't say stuff like that, baby girl," Matt says, eyes like saucers.

"You'll tell us if they don't treat you right, okay? We'll take care of it," Cale winks.

"And Adam, you're not allowed to keep the cookies to yourself this time," Megan says, throwing him a warning look.

Adam just raises his eyebrows at her. "I can't make promises."

Allison pinches Adam's arm. "I'll ask Nana to make enough for two batches, and I'm gonna time the package to get here before another lake day. No hoarding."

"I'll keep him in line," Kris says, and Adam stares at him, incredulous. Before Adam could voice his indignation, though, Kris reaches out to wipe a stray bit of mustard off the corner of his mouth, smiling as he licks it off his thumb. Adam smiles helplessly and tugs on his shirt, pressing a quick kiss on his lips. Stray bits of lettuce are thrown at them while half of the group groans, but Adam just smirks and tucks Kris into his side.

They linger under the tent even after they're done eating and cleaning up, none of them all that eager to fry under the unrelenting heat of the too-close-to-noon sun. It's all idle conversation for a while, and when Andrew falls asleep in his chair with a towel over his head, it's easy to break up into small groups and find their own places to nap. Matt, Allison, Danielle and Cale move Ryland's pickup truck under the shade of the tall beech and somehow manage to squeeze in together at the back. The rest of them drag the lawn chairs around the foot of the tree and doze lightly. Adam doesn't feel all that sleepy, so after he deposits an adorably drowsy Kris on a chair, he joins Lee and Ryland for a chat on the shaded dock.

The water is pleasantly warm at his ankles, the conversation light and easy, and Adam thinks, _this is the life_.

\---

He doesn't know how much time has passed, but he's arguing with Lee about the merits of light cream cheese over real cream cheese, and the next thing he knows, a warm, snuffly Kris is draped all along his back.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he murmurs as Kris presses his face into the side of his neck.

"Mmm. Swim now, please?"

Adam gingerly gets to his feet, and Kris slumps into him, still a little dopey from sleep. As they make their way to the tent, a loud scream pierces the air - Adam turns around in time to see Matt dump Allison into the water, and then Lee and Ryland wrestle each other in after them - and it's _on_. Kris just stands there, sun-warmed and pliant as Adam drops a kiss on his forehead and tugs his shirt off. The first touch of sunscreen on his shoulder wakes him up, though, and soon he's wrestling Adam's shirt off and pressing a line of kisses down his back. Adam can't help but sigh and pull Kris's arms tighter around him, feeling light and happy.

It gets a lot rowdy once they're in the water - Adam referees no less than a dozen high-intensity games of chicken, and gets elbowed in the face a couple times for his trouble. (Everything's kicked up a notch whenever Allison's involved.) It's hilarious to watch his friends hurl insults at each other, to listen to the good-natured trash talking, to slap water in someone's general direction when they get too flustered. When Kris isn't getting pulled onto somebody else's shoulders to fight, he stands with Adam, back plastered all along his front, hands curled tight and comfortable in his.

Allison's mom comes to pick her up sooner than they all thought, so they scramble to say goodbye as she hurries to gather her things. There are at least two rounds of goodbye hugs, and Allison threatens to kick their asses if they don't check in with her at least twice a week. Adam is the one who darts forward to help her put her overflowing duffel bag in the car and tries to comb through the mess the other guys made of her hair.

"Safe flight, baby girl," he murmurs when she throws her arms around him.

"I'll text you guys as soon as I'm with my aunt, promise. I'll be back before you know it." Allison slides smoothly into the passenger seat and rolls down the window. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do," she winks, and Adam blows her kisses as she gets driven away.

\---

Things get a little more quiet after that, some of them settling on the lawn chairs to try to tan while some others start digging into the supply of chips and tooling around on the couple of guitars they'd brought. Adam happily stays in the water, drifting on his back, feeling completely relaxed and mellow as he listens to the strange mix of birdsong and his friends' chatter around him. Kris floats right next to him, arms wrapped around a beach ball, eyes closed. It always feels like they're in their own little world, when they do this. Like Adam could stay here forever, Kris by his side and their friends in the immediate vicinity, their only real concern whether they have enough ice for everybody.

"Hey, babe?" Kris's voice drifts over from somewhere to his right, soft and honey-sweet.

"Yeah?"

"I really wanna kiss you," Kris answers, wistful, and Adam's chest tightens.

Adam hopes his eyes can express what he still sometimes has trouble putting to words. "You know you don't ever have to ask."

Kris smiles, then lets go of the beach ball and slowly wades over to him, hands light on Adam's waist as he pushes them both forward. Adam grins up at him, enjoying the view of his bare chest and freckled shoulders. When Kris stops and gently nudges him upright, Adam finds that they're standing in the part of the lake that's obscured by the dock. It's dark, a little murky, and he can see the strange shapes the barnacles make on the wood. It's the most privacy they'll ever get in the water.

"You, sir, have designs on my virtue," Adam says teasingly as he crowds into Kris's space.

Kris slides his hands up Adam's chest and twines them together at the back of his neck, stepping lightly on Adam's feet as he tips his chin up for a long, lingering kiss. His skin is wet, a little cold, and Adam loves every inch of him. "Yeah, I do. I always do."

 

 **Adam:** _Once I read a story about a butterfly in the subway_  
 **Kris:** _You are a lone reed_  
 **Adam:** _Don't you think daisies are the friendliest flower?_  
 **Kris:** _Go to the mattresses_  
 **Adam:** _How about some coffee or drinks or dinner or a movie for as long as we both shall live?_  
 **Kris:** _Absolutely_  
 **Kris:** _Sorry I broke the script. Only not really :)_  
 **Adam:** _I wanted it to be you so badly_  
 **Kris:** _Don't cry, shopgirl - er... boy?_  
 **Adam:** _Will you be my internet boyfriend, baby?_  
 **Kris:** _I will be all of your boyfriends_

 

 **three  
day 271**

 

Kris's room is first-day-of-winter-break messy, all the stuff he'd accumulated through the semester scattered all over his desk and his dresser, evidence of his two-week-long flurry of finals. He figures he should clean up a little, but that can wait another day. He grabs his beanie from his desk, checking to see if there's anything else he needs to bring with him. A sweater would be overkill when paired with a heavy quilt, so Kris just flexes his toasty, socked toes on the floor before walking back downstairs.

It's not quite a surprise to find Adam sitting on the couch, being fussed over by his mom, but there's a pleasant jolt in his stomach anyway, a broad grin spreading on his face.

"I went upstairs for like two seconds," Kris says, flopping on the other end of the couch. "Of course that's when you choose to get here. Your timing sucks."

Adam smiles up at Kris's mom when she pulls the quilt down on his lap. "Thanks, mom," Adam says around the mug of hot chocolate. "I have awesome timing, Kristopher. And look, I got treats."

Kris pouts playfully and lets his mom kiss him on the head before she leaves the room. "You're so spoiled. I swear she likes you more than me." It's kind of awesome, actually, seeing Adam fit into his family like he's always been part of it. Leila dotes on Kris equally, so it's a fake complaint for both of them.

"What's not to like?" Adam winks. Adam extends his arm and Kris happily crawls over, curling underneath it and tucking his forehead under Adam's chin. Adam's shivering, a little, so Kris pulls the quilt more snugly over them and rubs down Adam's arms. Adam's car heater is busted, so Kris really should have been the one to make the drive, but Adam had insisted. They always choose which house has the least people in it - Leila and Neil are staying in today, whereas when Kris's mom leaves in an hour, they'll be the only ones left.

It's not like Kris minds being the one responsible for warming Adam up.

Adam carefully sets the mug down on the end table before wrapping his arms around Kris with a sigh. Kris shifts over so they're both lying down, crowding Adam into the back of the couch, the entire length of their bodies touching. Adam chuckles when Kris rubs his foot up and down his calf. "Shut up, I'm trying to keep you warm," Kris muffles into Adam's shoulder.

"Aww I love you," Adam says, voice all sappy-like and sweet. It makes Kris smile.

"Love you too," Kris says, tilting Adam's head down for a soft kiss. Adam's mouth opens underneath his, tasting of chocolate and _Adam_ , all familiar heat and knowing tongue, immediately weaving an intense, heady spell around him. They keep it light and lazy, just tasting, not going anywhere just yet, just holding each other close. Kris feels the tension of the whole week drain right out of him, his limbs going loose, all his muscles relaxing as he gives into Adam's sweet assault; there's nothing else in his head but Adam, his hands and chest and teeth and tongue, warm and all his, kissing down his neck and making happy noises against his skin. The line of Adam's body is so familiar under his hands; the width of his back, the curve of his shoulder, the soft skin of his arms. Kris sighs when their lips meet again, loving every second of this, feeling warm and loved and grateful above all.

"Have I told you how cute your beanie looks? Because you're like extra extra cute," Adam says, breaking their content silence. He grins, carefully fingering the edges of cloth that cover the tops of Kris's ears.

"You might've mentioned it once or twice," Kris answers, pleased. Kris has been wearing it all week, and Adam kept cooing whenever he put it on, incessantly touching, fingers trailing warmth down Kris's face. It's not like Kris is ever hurting for compliments - let alone from Adam - but it's still really, really nice.

Adam smiles at him, soft and bright, before tugging him closer, wrapping his limbs around him like some kind of octopus. "God, I feel old. It's the first day of break. I shouldn't be this exhausted."

Kris just hums and rubs circles on Adam's back. It's been a stressful couple of weeks for all of them with the insane amount of schoolwork they'd had to deal with, and with the winter concert on top of it all. "You're tired because you're tired, not because you're old. C'mon, let's nap."

It's so nice and warm and Adam feels so, so good around him. Kris feels Adam's breath turn slow and steady, and he closes his eyes.

\---

"...lock up behind me," someone's saying, and Kris can barely manage to open one eye. He's vaguely aware of someone ruffling his hair - mom? - and then the door clicking shut, the sound of an engine turning...

\---

The next time Kris opens his eyes, the first thing he's aware of is Adam's light snores rumbling in his ear. The next is Adam's hand carelessly splayed on his ass, heavy with sleep. And the next is the unmistakable urge to take a quick trip to the bathroom.

It's an effort to untangle himself from Adam's grip without waking him up, but he manages somehow. Adam lets out a small, unhappy noise when Kris stands up, and Kris tucks the quilt snugly around Adam's shoulders before walking away.

He flushes the toilet and stretches up on his toes and throws some water on his face, feeling wide-eyed and well-rested. He's anxious to go back to the couch, to fold himself in Adam's warmth and just be close. On a regular day he can't get anywhere near as much Adam as he wants, and it was especially bad through the whirlwind of finals, seeing each other for barely an hour every day. He plans on savoring every bit of time they can get together during break. It's a sappy thought, but there it is, just like the thousands and thousands of others he's had about Adam in the entire span of their relationship. He's never been embarrassed by them, and he feels lucky that he learned pretty early on that when he says these things out loud, Adam will make his _I can't believe you're real_ face, and that one's Kris's favorite.

He almost jumps out of his skin when he opens the bathroom door and finds Adam standing on the other side, half-asleep, hair standing on his head, quilt wrapped around his shoulders. It's the most adorable thing Kris has seen in his life, and he takes a handful of seconds to burn the image into his brain.

"Why'd you get up, babe? I just went to pee," he says, wrapping an arm around Adam's waist and leading him back to the living room, their feet shuffling on the floor.

Adam drops down on the couch and looks up at him blearily. "Missed you," he pouts, tugging on Kris's hand. "Woke up and you were gone."

Kris huffs a quiet laugh and stares down at Adam, unable to keep his hands from petting his hair and caressing his cheek. It's too much, the burst of love and joy and pure affection in his chest feels huge and impossible, burning bright, overwhelming.

"Well I'm here now," Kris murmurs, pushing Adam back down and wrapping all around him with a contented sigh. "I'm not going anywhere."

Adam hums into his hair, breaths evening out almost immediately. Kris shuts his eyes and siinks into Adam's touch. He's not sleepy at all, but he's more than content to lie there and feel the rhythm of Adam's breaths all through his body.

\---

Some time later, Kris turns in Adam's grip and reaches for the remote, starts to channel surf with the TV on mute. He finds The Muppet Movie and turns on the closed captioning, watches as Kermit runs around. Adam's breaths puff against the back of his neck, arm tight across his, legs tangled around his waist, a perfect fit around him. They could spend the rest of their lives like this and Kris wouldn't mind at all. It's so easy and natural, like they were made to fit together in so many ways. In all the ways.

The movie ends and Kris starts to channel surf again, gaze alternating between the TV and the snowfall visible through the living room window. Kris has always loved winter, enjoyed pulling on layers and spending time in the quiet cold outside, and then curling up indoors and trying to keep warm, seeing family, interrupting the banality of going to school all of the day, staring at the twinkling lights. Snow brings with it a different kind of peace that Kris feels in his bones.

He loses himself in a documentary on the National Geographic. He has no idea how much time has passed when he feels Adam's hand start to rub circles on his hip.

"Hey," he murmurs.

Adam keeps a firm grip on him and keeps him from turning around, whispering, "I want you like this" into the back of Kris's neck.

Kris groans and fits himself closer to Adam, relaxing into the slow, soothing movements. He smiles inwardly when Adam's hand drifts up under his shirt and deliberately palms at his stomach then up his chest, fingertips grazing his nipples. Adam sighs into his ear and presses forward, the line of his cock hard and insistent at the small of Kris's back. Kris's breathing picks up when Adam hooks his knee around his thigh, hips rolling in tiny circles. The space underneath the quilt has become stifling, all of a sudden, and both of them let out broken moans when Adam slips his hand inside Kris's sweats, starting him out with one shallow stroke.

"Just dreamt about this, baby," Adam mumbles into his shoulder, hand gliding soft and easy on Kris's cock. "Touching you like this, making you crazy."

He still sounds like he's half-asleep, but the deft movements of his hands prove otherwise. Kris's hips strain into his grip, short and shallow thrusts that Adam guides with his hand. "More, _please_ ," he chokes out, squeezing his eyes shut and letting himself just _feel_.

Adam's hands are magic, working Kris's cock like a virtuoso, fingers _perfect_ , grip just right, confident in the knowledge of everything Kris likes. It's almost too much, Adam a mass of unbearable heat at his back, the movement of his fingers, panting into his ear, hips moving in time with the stroke of his hands. Heat pools low in Kris's belly, building and building as he thrusts into Adam's hand with complete abandon. It's too fast, but he's close, so close, he's so turned on he feels helpless with it. He feels so needy he _aches_ with it. He blindly reaches around and grabs Adam's ass, desperate for leverage.

"Oh _fuck_ ," Adam groans, thrusting hard and quick, strokes going clumsy, and Kris feels half-crazed at the change in friction, orgasm just barely out of reach. He squeezes Adam's ass, fingers barely sliding down Adam's crack, and then Adam's gone, coming with a sharp yell. Adam's hand reflexively squeezes around Kris's dick, too much, too tight, exactly what Kris needs, and that takes him right over the edge.

Adam pants into his shoulder and keeps stroking his cock until Kris halfheartedly bats his hand away, oversensitized and twitchy. He can feel Adam's thighs trembling, chest heaving with exertion. Kris's brain feels fuzzy with pleasure and love and satisfaction and ecstatic joy, the way it always is when he and Adam are together like this. A wave of affection crashes in his chest and he has to twist around to capture Adam's lips in a deep, sloppy kiss. His legs wrap tight around Adam's waist, just needing to be _closer_. His fingers pet clumsily at Adam's face, and he hums in pleasure when Adam wraps around him completely, arms gripping his back like a vise, tongue opening up his mouth, relentless.

"Wake-up sex is the best sex," Adam murmurs into the small space between them before kissing him again, dragging his tongue on the roof of Kris's mouth.

Kris groans and clutches at Adam, entire body straining forward, desperate, as if trying to climb into the space that Adam occupies. He feels his throat ache with the volume of sheer, incredible affection he feels in his chest, in his entire body, in the buzz underneath his skin. It's so much at once, so much like drowning in an ocean of impossible _joy_ , only the waves aren't dragging him down but lifting him up instead, endless and infinite. His hands grasp at Adam's face and he pours all of himself into the kiss, knowing that Adam will understand what he's trying to say with his teeth and tongue and the tight grip of his legs around his waist.

"Adam --" he rasps, and a distant part of him is surprised by how his voice is completely _broken_ , and he just - he just needs Adam to _know_ \--

Adam's hand spans his back, rubbing big, wide circles, and he's whispering in Kris's ear. "I know, baby. I'm right here."

Kris lets out a long, slow, deep breath and just pulls Adam close, perfectly content to just stay like this for hours.

Some time later, Adam pulls away a bit and presses a soft, wet kiss on his cheek before hauling them both upright, grimacing at the mess they'd made. "Um. We need towels."

Kris groans as he gingerly gets to his feet, dragging the quilt to the floor. "Yeah, this... yeah. Shower first, though?"

"Yes please."

They set the water to almost scalding, and it feels so good on his skin that Kris doesn't even mind much when Adam takes hold of the shower head and sprays his face a few times, laughing as he sputters and tries to slap it away. They both enjoy the slip-slide of wet skin, but other than a few kisses and a couple of pointed rub-downs, there's no funny business. Kris pulls on a long-sleeved shirt, his mistletoe-patterned pajama bottoms - a gag gift from Andrew last year - and his favorite striped socks. Adam delights at finding a pair of his own sweatpants in Kris's closet ("Why didn't you tell me you had these?" "You left 'em here last week, I kept forgetting to tell you.") and it makes Kris think of ridiculous things - things like the future, sharing closets, living in the same house, and getting to have all of this, with Adam.

Kris watches Adam get dressed, and he thinks he'd love it if they could do this every day for pretty much all their lives.

\---

Once they've cleaned up the couch, they migrate to the kitchen. Kris heats up two thirds of the apple pie his mom left for them to eat, and Adam puts one plate and two forks on a place setting. Kris sprawls half on top of Adam - knees draped over his lap - and they alternate bites.

"I think my parents got me an electric guitar," Kris says as he thumbs off stray crumbs from the corner of Adam's mouth.

"Really? That's great! How do you know?"

"I went into the garage to look for some old Christmas lights, and I found a brand new amp hidden under the work table. Covered by old curtains and everything."

Adam claps his hands in delight. "Ooh, so it's _definitely_ an electric, then. Awesome, baby. An electric that's just yours, oh my god, you're gonna be able to do so much stuff now."

Kris takes a swig of water and grins. "There's so much stuff I've always wanted to try. It's gonna be great. I can't wait to see it - I don't even really care what kind they got me."

Adam just levels him with a _look_.

"Yeah, okay, I _do_ care, and I hope they got me a Strat, but I'm not gonna complain if they got me something else," Kris relents with a rueful smile. Adam knows all about his guitar obsession. "My own _electric_ , babe."

" _Your own electric_ ," Adam exclaims, shaking his shoulders a little. Then he leans in and drops a soft, sweet kiss on his cheek. "I get first listen, okay?"

"Of course. Like you even had to ask."

They giggle through the last few bites of pie, what with Adam rattling off every single guitar-related innuendo he can think of - along with some others Kris is sure he just made up (including something about frets, what?) - while Kris tries to make him shut up with his hands, a big forkful of pie, or with his lips. They both get distracted with that last one, but it's not like either of them minds.

The plate in front of them is empty, but neither of them cares very much. Kris has somehow made his way onto Adam's chair, straddling Adam's lap as their kisses turn frantic, hands gripping Adam's hair and his entire body straining closer. Adam runs his hands up under Kris's shirt, nails scraping suddenly sensitive skin. Kris groans into Adam's mouth and his hips instinctively thrust forward, desperate for friction, his eyes rolling back into his head when Adam lifts up under him to return the pressure.

Suddenly the chair is tipping backward, a nauseating lurch in Kris's stomach, and it's only Adam's quick reflexes that stop them from falling into a heap on the floor. A couple of silent seconds pass with them just gaping incredulously at each other before they both burst out laughing, loud and hysterical, collapsing into each other as they ride out the fit of giggles.

"We could've died, oh my god," Adam breathes into his neck.

"Don't exaggerate," Kris says as he tugs lightly on Adam's hair. "Concussion at the worst, maybe. Good thing you're quick on your feet. So to speak."

Adam laughs, arms squeezing tighter around him. "I have excellent self-preservation instincts. I just saved your life, buddy."

Kris just snorts, but chooses not to answer, instead focusing on tracing Adam's earlobe with his tongue. He's rewarded with a long, shuddering sigh he can feel all along his body. Adam tilts his head, and Kris obliges, focusing on the soft, sensitive skin. There's another shudder as he kisses down Adam's neck, and then a small, frustrated noise just a split second before he's tugged into a deep, drugging kiss. Adam's mouth is open and pliant under his, breaths coming out hot and fast, hand sliding up and around to squeeze his ass. Kris arches into the touch, wanting more, always more, but then Adam pulls away completely.

"Upstairs," Adam pants, both hands squeezing at Kris's hips.

Kris just stares at him, hardly registering, and dips down for more.

Adam snorts a laugh and tilts his head away when Kris tries to deepen the kiss. "No more kissing in the kitchen today," he says. "I think your bed is the best idea I've had all day. Yeah?" Adam says, carefully pushing Kris to his feet.

"Yeah," Kris answers vaguely, biting his lip as he watches Adam get up and stretch in one smooth movement. "Uh. Yeah," he says again when Adam looks down at him with a fond smile on his face.

Adam clears the table, and it's only when the faucet starts to run that Kris gets his bearings back. He darts forward to take over the dish washing, but Adam just shushes him, hand already reaching out for the sponge thing. Kris presses a thank you kiss on his shoulder before hopping up on the counter next to the sink, watching Adam intently.

"You're my guest. It's rude to make you wash the dishes," Kris says, foot idly rubbing the little bit of Adam's thigh he can reach.

"I haven't been a real guest here in years, baby," Adam answers, smiling. "Especially not now. It's no big deal, I promise."

Kris watches Adam's long, lithe fingers in the sudsy water, movements slow and careful. It's a quick job - one of the benefits of their sharing everything, even utensils - and it isn't too long before Kris is reaching out for the kitchen towel and Adam's passing stuff for him to wipe dry. It's literally the most domestic thing they've ever done together, and it seems the thought strikes Adam too, his smile sweet and knowing.

They work in silence, their lingering gazes making words unnecessary. Once Adam lays everything back down in its place and drains the sink, he sidles closer to Kris, a sly grin quirking his mouth. "Teamwork goes a long way," he murmurs in the space between them before his lips close on Kris's bottom lip.

Kris sighs, legs wrapping around Adam's waist as he opens his mouth further. His arms drape around Adam's shoulders, head tilted down for once as they kiss, loving this new angle. "We're kind of awesome together, aren't we," he whispers.

Adam just nods breathlessly and pulls him off the counter. They stumble and giggle and kiss all the way up the stairs.

 

 **Kris:** _!!!!!!!!!!!! Found your present. I love you_  
 **Adam:** _TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH. I love you too. You like it?_  
 **Kris:** _You're the best_  
 **Adam:** _Damn straight_  
 **Kris:** _< 3 Come kiss me goodnight_  
 **Adam:** _Two hours of rehearsal left. Don't fall asleep!_  
 **Kris:** _Tired, babe. You know I don't mind if you wake me up_  
 **Adam:** _Okay. See you then <3_

 

 **four  
day 349**

 

Kris really has no idea how he got here, but it's not like he minds all that much.

They're at Scarlett's house for some reason, all squeezed together inside her room - comfortable for two or three, sure, but it's kind of a stretch for nine. They've been off school since lunch, and none of them had any idea where to go, so they all ended up here somehow.

Scarlett, Megan and Alisan are sprawled on the bed, with Lee on the floor next to them, playing with Scarlett's hands. Kris is sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Allison under the window, Danielle pressed on her other side. Adam had migrated from his precarious seat at the edge of the bed to the space between Kris's legs, leaned back so his hair tickling Kris's chin. Andrew and Tommy are sharing the small amount of space between the door and the closet, tooling around with the ukelele that Scarlett's dad had lying around. It's cramped and the central air's set a little too low, but with Adam's voice rumbling in his chest and the sound of his friends' laughter bouncing around the room (not to mention the promise of pizza coming in the next half hour), Kris really can't find it in himself to complain.

"Shit, I forgot," he hears Tommy say, and they were maybe talking about nail polish now? Or something. It's hard to keep track, with these guys.

"It's from that place next to the pet store, right?" Allison pipes up in the middle of thumb wrestling with Danielle.

"Yeah, that's where I get all my stuff. It's new, and had a weird name - I'll know it when I see it, but I can't remember it right now," Adam says. "I'll bring it to school tomorrow, Meg."

Megan looks up, hand halting its work on Scarlett's nails. "Thanks, babe."

Andrew starts plucking _Blackbird_ and Adam hums the lyrics under his breath. Kris smiles, feeling mellow and peaceful, his fingertips dancing lightly on the soft, downy skin of Adam's arms. He concentrates until Adam's voice is all he hears above the chatter.

It's not until Allison's shrieking and tumbling into his space that Kris notices her and Danielle playfully wrestling on the floor. It's all giggles and wandering elbows and flying hair, their faces red from exertion. Adam snorts a laugh and sits up, twisting around so Kris's legs are on his lap, reaching out to tickle Allison and Danielle's sides. When the girls let out an insane explosion of sound, Adam pulls away with a smug smile. Allison jams her hand under Danielle's chin; Danielle shrieks and shrugs Allison off, somehow managing to crawl up onto the bed and tumble right on top of Scarlett, gasping for breath.

Kris laughs as both girls try to sort out their hair - mostly unsuccessfully, but it's not like they haven't seen worse. Adam reaches out to rake his fingers through Allison's hair, helping out a little. Kris waits until she's caught her breath before grabbing her waist and tickling mercilessly at her sides.

She tries to wriggle away, her shrieks loud in his ears, but Kris is stronger and Allison isn't much more than a quivering mess at his feet. He gets a mouthful of hair and an elbow to the thigh for his trouble, but they're both choking with laughter now, and Kris's face is tingling, he's smiling so hard.

"I hate you I hate you holy shit, stop!" she half-cries half-giggles, and finally he lets up, slumping into Adam's side as he coughs and tries to catch his breath.

Allison's curled into a ball on the floor, face burning red and coughing right along with Kris. "I'm going to get you for this," she rasps.

Kris smiles his cheekiest smile at her and leans his cheek on Adam's shoulder, enjoying the wide circles he's rubbing on his back. "I love you too, half-pint."

\---

The ringing bell snaps all of them out of the stupor they'd fallen into after the tickle fight. Their loud footsteps echo all around the house, their bickering over who gets first dibs on which slices is a well-loved argument. Kris hangs back and snags a spot on the corner of the couch as they wait for Scarlett and Lee to pay the pizza guy and bring everything to the living room.

Andrew drops down beside him, fingers tapping a quick pattern on his knees. "I'm starving, man," Andrew says.

Kris wrinkles his nose in sympathy. "Seriously, is it me, or did this delivery take extra long?"

"I don't know, I'm just glad it's here."

"I am legit going to bite on anyone who gets in the way of me and my cheese," Megan threatens from Andrew's other side. "I'm not even kidding."

Kris doesn't even try to hide his laugh. He spots Adam and Danielle bringing in some stuff from the kitchen - plates, glasses, some forks, and a huge jug of water - and he gets up to relieve Danielle of her burden. She smiles at him in thanks and squeezes in next to Tommy on the big, comfy armchair next to the couch. Kris and Adam set everything down on the low coffee table, spreading everything around and leaving the biggest possible space at the center. When Kris turns around to take his seat, Allison's there, arms crossed and a petulant smile on her face.

"Were you gonna say something, Kris?" she asks mischievously.

Kris tries to look as innocent as possible and raises his hands up in a mollifying gesture. "Me? Nope, absolutely not."

Allison raises her eyebrow as he slinks closer to her, but he only twists around and plants himself on the floor between her knees. Other than an extended hair-ruffling, Allison doesn't do damage to any of his body parts. Not just yet, anyway.

Adam folds himself next to Kris, one arm coming around to pull him close. His fingers rub idly on Kris's hip as he chats with Alisan across the table. Kris drops a kiss on Adam's shoulder and leans into him a little, trying to ignore his rumbling stomach. Thankfully, it isn't too long before Lee walks in with three pizza boxes in his arms, Scarlett - clutching two six-packs of Pepsi - following right behind him. It's a struggle to fit everything on the table, but once everyone has a slice on their plate, no one complains about the clutter.

They go through the motions of eating - Kris holds out his plate for Adam to dump his onions onto his slice while Adam accepts all of Kris's olives, Lee calls dibs on Allison's crusts, all spare bell peppers go to Tommy, the two anchovy slices are left for Danielle, Alisan hogs all the little packets of pepper, Andrew dumps insane amounts of hot sauce on all of his slices. Adam refuses to take his own can of Pepsi but ends up alternating between his glass of water and Kris's can anyway. Much to everyone's amusement, Scarlett slaps away Lee's playful attempts to try to hand-feed pepperoni slices to her. After a few minutes - and once the pizza's cooled down a little - all plates and forks are ignored in favor of hands and hastily-grabbed napkins. Danielle invokes the soda rule and they all end up pretty equally sharing in the extra cans. The fight over the last slice of cheese pizza is resolved with rock, paper, scissors, which Megan wins handily over Andrew.

It's loud and rowdy, they always are, and Kris greatly enjoys the food and the company. Once everyone's had their fill, they all just slump in their seats and kind of stare at each other in exhausted, full silence.

\---

Tommy is the one who gets up first, piling all the dirty plates onto the tray. Kris shakes away the haze of sleepiness and follows suit, precariously balancing the glasses next to the plates. Lee follows both of them into the kitchen, rummaging in one of the cupboards before pulling out a large garbage bag and going back into the living room, presumably to take care of the boxes and the cans. Megan comes in a couple minutes after Lee disappears, and they form a haphazard dishwashing assembly line at the kitchen sink. Tommy's drying the last of the glasses when Scarlett comes in and goes straight to the water dispenser, refilling the jug.

"Bring back the largest mug we have. I'm sure no one would mind sharing. Thanks, guys," Scarlett says as she walks back into the living room.

Megan, Tommy and Kris peek into the fridge in an attempt to scrounge something up for dessert, but they're out of luck. They settle for filling the mug with the little packets of mint they find sitting in a bowl on top of the fridge, and walk back to their friends.

\---

The TV is on, and it looks like their channel surfing led them to some daytime soap that Kris doesn't recognize at first glance. The coffee table has been pushed to the side, too, opening up a huge space in the middle of the room. Allison's sprawled across the entire couch while Alisan had taken up the space Kris had left. Danielle's alone on the armchair now, while Adam, Scarlett, Lee and Andrew are lying on the floor with couch cushions supporting their heads. Tommy sits next to Alisan on the floor while Megan steps over the assortment of limbs and ends up on the couch, Allison's head on her lap. Kris takes a mint before placing the mug down on the coffee table and curling up next to Adam.

Kris tips his head on Adam's shoulder and tries to figure out what they're watching. A man and a woman are standing in the middle of a fancy living room, and this weird, dramatic music is playing over their dialogue. The woman's going on and on about honesty and betrayal while the man just looks on, looking constipated. Maybe conflicted? Kris doesn't really know, and he presses his yawn into the side of Adam's neck, making an executive decision to just close his eyes and maybe take a little nap instead of trying to understand what's happening. Why did they stop on a soap, anyway? There really has to be a better show to watch.

 _"I have been honest about everything but this. It was for your own good. But now, you leave me no choice,"_ the man is saying, and Kris is drifting off, now. He takes a deep breath and catches a whiff of Adam's scent - pizza, mostly, but he still catches a little bit of his favorite perfume somewhere underneath. He nudges Adam's collar aside and noses down his throat - the perfume's stronger, now, and then there's the scent that's skin and sweat and just _Adam_ , which is Kris's real favorite. Kris drops small, affectionate kisses on his skin and curls himself closer, smiling when he feels Adam's deep sigh.

 _"You always have a choice. You've been choosing to lie to me, all this time!"_ the woman on TV trills. Kris thinks it's either going to be about an illegitimate child, or an affair, or a murder cover-up? Something along those lines. He feels his eyes droop closed and pushes all other thoughts away from his mind. Adam is warm and soft, grip tight around him, and seriously, he's going to fall asleep right here...

 _"I'm your father,"_ the man says, and everyone in the room groans loudly. Kris smiles at what seems like a couple of balled-up paper napkins thrown at the TV screen.

"I thought he'd killed her boyfriend or something," Alisan calls out.

"I thought he _was_ the boyfriend, and he'd been cheating on her," Andrew says thoughtfully.

"I knew he was her father all along," Tommy says, not even hiding his smugness. "Come on, he's a DILF, and she's not that old."

Scarlett scoffs, loud and indignant. "That dude is not a DILF! That's an insult to all DILFs everywhere, Tommy!"

Allison's laugh rings throughout the entire room, bright and clear. "Tommy has terrible taste in men."

"Why are we even watching this?" Adam asks. Kris just nods his agreement.

"Where'd the remote go? Someone find another show," Scarlett says, her voice sleepy and muffled.

Kris sees the flashes of light through his eyelids, and he's grateful to whoever's changing the channels for putting the TV on mute first. Everything seems to go by quickly, and Kris is almost dozing when the volume comes back on, and the high, tinny voices of cartoon characters reach his ears. It's not really familiar, and Kris doesn't bother to open his eyes to find out what it is for sure. The grumbling around him indicates it's nothing any of them would like, anyway, so Kris just focuses on the slow and steady cadence of Adam's breathing, matching it, letting himself fall under.

\---

The next time Kris opens his eyes, the whole house is dark - the blinds drawn, lights turned off. The opening credits of what looks like _Godzilla_ is playing on the TV screen. A quick glance upward tells him that Adam has been watching him sleep.

Kris sighs and tucks his forehead into the curve of Adam's neck. "Time is it?"

"Just past four. You haven't been asleep that long," Adam whispers.

"You're not tired?" Kris asks, yawning hugely. He chuckles when Adam follows suit, mouth opening wide, his body stretching underneath Kris a little bit. Kris runs a hand down Adam's side, feeling his ribcage expanding.

Adam hums and pulls Kris closer. "Pizza made me a little sleepy, but I'm fine. If I sleep now, I won't be able to later tonight." His nose nudges at Kris's forehead, and Kris obligingly lifts his head up for a kiss. "Mmm. You were talking in your sleep again."

Kris's eyes flutter shut as they exchange small, soft kisses between words. "What'd I say?"

"Something about dancing? And Christmas trees? Weird stuff." Adam huffs a laugh. "And I think I heard my name somewhere in there."

"I like your name."

Adam nips playfully at Kris's lips and laughs again. "Yeah, I like it too."

Kris's heart is pounding and he wants to take this a little further, but they can't, not while their friends aren't even a foot away. So he sighs and plays footsie with Adam instead. "Maybe I was dreaming about you."

"Good dreams, I hope."

"The best," Kris answers, feeling Adam's lips widen with a smile. What started out as little pecks turn into a long, dirty kiss, and Adam's hand is drifting slowly, maddeningly down Kris's back, fingers just brushing the waistband of his pants before going back up. With every sweep downward, Adam dips farther and farther down but not far enough, pretty much driving Kris crazy. Kris feels warm all over, his temperature spiking with every movement of Adam's lips against his. He pulls away and gusts out a sigh. "Hands above the waist, babe."

Adam snorts, amused eyes flying up to meet Kris's. "Yeah?"

Kris widens his eyes, nodding seriously.

"Didn't know you were that hard up for it," Adam says, voice dipping low, and Kris smacks his arm. "Ow! Okay, okay, it's staying right here." Adam presses his hand high on Kris's back.

Kris drops a kiss on the underside of Adam's chin. "Thank you."

They're quiet for a few long moments, and Kris absently watches Matthew Broderick slog through thick mud. They've watched this movie so many times, Kris can almost recite the dialogue line by line. Adam continues to rub his back and Kris does the same to his side, fingers dancing lightly. It feels nice, and peaceful, and Kris could happily stay like this for hours.

"Come home with me later?" Adam asks after a few more minutes.

"I didn't think we planned on doing anything else," Kris answers, perching his chin on Adam's chest.

"Just us for dinner."

"That sounds nice."

Adam just looks at him, eyes bright. "Then I'm taking you to bed."

Kris's eyes flutter shut, and he lets Adam open his mouth with his tongue. They kiss for as long as they dare, and they're both panting when they part, clutching at each other. It's a little too intense, a little too hot, a little too much for where they are and who they're with. Kris just lets himself drown in it, in the haze of love and unselfish want and the overwhelming _certainty_ above all.

\---

The sun is setting outside when the movie ends, and eventually they get to their feet, stretching and yawning.

"Anyone need a ride?" Alisan asks as she nudges a still-reclining Tommy with her sock feet.

Tommy swats at her, giggling. "Yes, please. You with me, Alli?"

Allison looks up from where she's pouring herself a mug of water. "You betcha."

"Andrew, Megan, I got you," Lee says more than asks. He then takes out his keys, jiggling them in his hand. "Danielle, too. Adam? Kris?"

Kris looks up at Adam, and he nods in silent agreement. "Nah, we're gonna walk. It's really nice out."

Scarlett raises her eyebrows. "You sure? Lee can squeeze you in and drop you off no problem."

"We're good," Adam's all reassuring smiles and squeezing hugs. "Thanks for today, lady." Scarlett throws her arms around Adam's neck and whispers something Kris can't hear. Allison sneaks up behind Kris and pulls him into an extended headlock, which Kris figures he deserves. He doesn't resist messing up Allison's hair with his hands, though, and he gets a strong punch to the arm instead of a hug goodbye.

There's a round and a half of squeezes, and soon after that, Kris and Adam are walking down the sidewalk, the sky a beautiful pinkish blue above them. Their hands are loosely twined together as they take slow, meandering steps - it's not that far a walk, just six or seven blocks depending on how you count - and they take a detour through the biggest park in town, pausing for a long time to make out under a huge tree. After that, they head down random streets to look at their favorite houses in the neighborhood.

"Okay, yeah, I'm really gonna need a balcony when I get my own house," Adam says as they shuffle past the Lakes's huge, sprawling mansion.

Kris squints up at the house and nods in agreement. "A balcony would be nice. I think I want a wraparound porch more, though."

"Oh, I want a porch swing. Definitely a porch swing. And a pool, of course," Adam says as he curls his hands around Kris's upper arm and steers them forward, around the corner and down Adam's street. They slowly amble up the driveway, nudging each other playfully as Adam tries to pull his keys from somewhere in the depths of his backpack.

Adam presses Kris into the door the moment they walk in, opening his mouth with his tongue, claiming, possessing. Kris drops his bag on the floor and wraps his arms around Adam's shoulders, his back arching. He kisses back desperately, lifting up on his toes to get a good angle, gasping when Adam slides a hand into his back pocket and hitches him closer. His whine when Adam pulls away immediately turns into a groan when Adam kisses down his neck and licks at his collarbone.

"Our house is gonna be awesome," Adam murmurs into his skin, voice low, like it's a secret.

Kris's heart skips a beat and then starts pounding maddeningly in his chest. He tips Adam's chin up with a finger and looks into the depths of his gorgeous blue eyes. They grin at each other in implicit understanding.

"Yeah, it is."

 

 **Adam:** _baby_  
 **Kris:** _yes?_  
 **Adam:** _honey_  
 **Kris:** _darling_  
 **Adam:** _sweetheart_  
 **Kris:** _pumpkin_  
 **Adam:** _honeybear_  
 **Kris:** _porkchop_  
 **Adam:** _honeybun_  
 **Kris:** _cupcake_  
 **Adam:** _snuggle bunny_  
 **Kris:** _studmuffin_  
 **Adam:** _pookie_  
 **Kris:** _buttercup_  
 **Adam:** _boobear_  
 **Kris:** _...........really?_  
 **Adam:** _cutie patootie_  
 **Kris:** _Please don't ever use any of these in public_  
 **Adam:** _shmoopsie poo_  
 **Kris:** _Where do you get this stuff_  
 **Adam:** _tootsie wootsy_  
 **Adam:** _cuddly wuddly_  
 **Adam:** _lover_  
 **Adam:** _loverboy?_  
 **Adam:** _k i'm done :* i love you, kristopher_  
 **Kris:** _< 3 love you too_

 

 **five  
day 422**

 

"Hey, you." Adam looks up from his crazy pile of homework when Kris enters the kitchen.

Kris smiles, bending down. "Hi, babe."

"Mmm," Adam murmurs as they kiss, craning his neck and grasping Kris's t-shirt to keep him close. "New toothpaste?"

Kris cups Adam's cheek, dipping forward to drop small, quick pecks on Adam's lips as he speaks. "Ran out. Had to use my mom's."

Adam takes one last nip at Kris's bottom lip before pulling away, forcibly untangling his fingers from Kris's shirt. "I have your thing. And your other thing," Adam says, handing him a textbook and a folder full of notes that Danielle had asked to pass on.

"Thank you. I'll be back in a few hours."

"I'll be here."

After one more quick kiss and a sharp, playful tug at Adam's hair, Kris shuffles out the back door. Adam sighs, chin perched on his hand, feeling a little dreamy. It's kind of sad, how over a year later even just a quick second with his boyfriend reduces him into a sappy, lovesick idiot, but here he is. He knows very well, though - after hours spent on the phone with a filterless Kris at two, three, four in the morning - that the feelings are more than reciprocated, and mostly it's just nice. Against all odds, they're still here, as stupidly in love as they were in the beginning. They're still here, about to finish high school, getting ready to leave their hometown and live together, _what_. Adam feels a thrill of excitement up his spine, and he smothers a grin as he drags his attention back to the open book in front of him.

Right. Calculus first.

\---

He's seconds away from throwing this book against the wall, he really is. Who the hell thought it was a great idea to teach these things to high school kids, anyway? Like any of this shit is even applicable to real life. He feels the pencil bend under his strong grip, and Adam's wondering what kind of satisfaction breaking it would bring when a warm, familiar hand pulls it away.

Adam sighs when a kiss is pressed on his shoulder. "Calculus should die in a fire. Calculus should die in _all_ the fires," he groans, forehead thumping on the table.

Kris palms the back of his neck, and Adam feels some of the tension drain out of his shoulders at the soft touch. "It really should," Kris murmurs.

"I hate finals." Adam turns his head and grimaces at Kris, taking in the line of his arms, his crooked grin, his glasses. "How'd your thing go?"

Kris smiles lightly and scoots closer, resting his head on the table as his hand cards through Adam's hair. "Tracy is a slavedriver. But we're done - our presentation's gonna kick all of the other presentations' asses. All of them. Ever. In the world."

Adam snorts a laugh, giggling at Kris's earnest face, eyes so wide they're almost crossed. He feels a happy, relaxed warmth start to spread through him, the tug of long-familiar affection settled comfortably on Adam's skin after all this time. "You're a weirdo."

"Thank you," Kris answers solemnly. They're quiet for a few moments, Adam fighting the urge to purr under the movement of Kris's fingers in his hair, his hand reaching out so he can rub his thumb on Kris's knee under the table.

Kris quirks a sweet smile at him before closing the few inches of space between them to press a kiss on his lips. Adam's heart starts to thud in his chest and his toes start to tingle - seriously, this never, ever gets old - and he relishes the soft sound Kris lets out when he tugs on Kris's bottom lip with his teeth. Adam lets himself fall into the kiss, feeling his limbs loosen and his head clear, mellowing out more and more as Kris's mouth moves against his. When they part to catch their breath, Adam feels so blissed out, like he can fall asleep slumped at the kitchen table.

Kris seems to sense this, and a split second later, he gets up on his feet, hands tugging at Adam's shoulders. "The spark's gone, isn't it?" Kris sighs melodramatically. "I kiss you and you fall asleep."

Adam grabs Kris's hands and cranes his neck, looking him in the eye. "Shut up. I'm just --" a yawn "really tired."

"You're giving me a complex, babe," Kris says, shaking his head. "We need to spice up our sex life, don't we? Okay, I'm up for that. How do you feel about roleplay? Innocent, Christian schoolboy gets defiled by his rebel classmate? Or or, could you be into playing nurse? We can do that, too. Bondage? Anything you need, baby. I'm here for you."

Kris says all of it with sham solemnity, and Adam can't help but collapse forward in helpless laughter. He laughs and laughs and he feels his face turn red, keeps laughing even as he sees Kris's fond smile over his shoulder. Eventually, he makes himself stop. Once he's able to catch his breath, he stands up to wrap his arms around Kris, who presses his cheeky grin into the curve of Adam's neck. "God, I love you," Adam giggles into Kris's hair.

"Right back atcha," Kris says before nipping at Adam's earlobe, tilting on his toes to drop a quick kiss on his lips. "Come take a break with me."

Adam slides his hands into Kris's back pockets and kisses him again, soft and slow. "Upstairs?" he murmurs. "Yes please."

"No no, that's for later. That'll be your reward, or whatever. I know you're not done yet." Kris steps away and tugs Adam to the living room. "You've been in here too long, you need fresh air."

Adam frowns, feeling a little cheated. "You're a tease."

"No, I'm not," Kris smiles. "Put your shoes on. It's gorgeous outside."

"I can't -- I can only take, like, an hour. Tops," Adam says as he eyes the clock. "Where are we gonna go, anyway?"

Kris just watches in smug satisfaction as Adam pulls on his sneakers and locks up behind them. "I dunno, just out." He slings Adam's arm around his shoulders and threads their fingers together, slowly ambling down the street.

Adam tugs Kris closer and matches his gait, breathing in fresh air and enjoying the feel of the late afternoon sun on his skin. It's beautiful out, the sky clear, hints of summer creeping in. It's very relaxing, but part of Adam is getting impatient too, wishing they could just ditch schoolwork and go out to the lake, spend a few hours in the water together, just lie in the sun and not think about anything else. It's a little exciting to think of summer, the last one they have before they move out to New York, to a whole new life, to a freedom that's just beyond their grasp. He feels a little bitter that he has to go through the painful process of finals first - not like Adam's gunning for straight As or whatever, but he still wants to do as well as he possibly can - two more weeks of suffering before any of the fun stuff.

But in the meantime, this is pretty wonderful too, this little respite from responsibility. The sounds of the peaceful neighborhood around them. The warm breeze. Time with Kris, which he always treasures no matter how much of it he gets. Adam's more than happy to let Kris steer them wherever he wants as he tells Adam the crazy things they'd been doing for this English project.

"I already mentioned Tracy's five-page primer, right?"

"Yes, dear, you have."

Kris narrows his eyes at him, and it's disgustingly cute. "Uh huh. Five pages she typed up herself. Summaries, outlines, work distribution, time tables, a full freakin' bibliography. Five pages that she wrote the night we got the assignment --"

"-- and gave to you the day after. Yes, honey, you've told me the story," Adam says, indulgent.

"It's just - it's crazy. She's definitely something else," Kris shakes his head. "She printed out a schedule for us today - everything we had to do, hour per hour. It was scary. She yelled whenever we got distracted."

Adam laughs at Kris's fake shudder. He can't imagine having to spend even five minutes with someone like that, let alone half a day. He's suddenly grateful that he only ever had PE with Tracy, and none of this group insanity. "Yeah well, at least you're finished. And getting an A. That's pretty awesome."

They turn another corner, and Adam realizes they'd taken a meandering route to the park that's only a few blocks away from Kris's house. There are a handful of kids playing on the swings and the jungle gym; they slow their footsteps to watch them, wave hello to one of Cale's little cousins. Finally, they collapse on a bench at a semi-secluded area of the park.

Kris lays his head on Adam's shoulder and sighs. "This is nice."

Adam rubs his thumb on Kris's knuckles and kisses the top of his head. "Yeah, it is. Thank you, baby." Kris was right - this was what Adam needed, some space from the stifling air of the house, some time to uncloud his brain, some excellent company. An hour of this, and he'll be more than ready to go back to his books. _Two weeks_ , he thinks happily, and lets himself sink into the quiet of the moment.

He's starting to doze off when he feels Kris press a kiss on the side of his neck. Adam sighs, letting Kris mouth at his skin for a little bit, enjoying the sensation. Then he turns his head and catches Kris's lips with his. Kris's arm wraps around his waist, thumb drifting up under his shirt, touch as soft and gentle as the movements of his mouth, driving Adam a little crazy. The kiss doesn't really go too far - there's nothing more than a light brush of tongue and the very barest hint of teeth, but it's enough to make Adam lose his concentration completely. They pull apart to take a breath, and Kris has to nudge him and ask a question twice.

"Hmm?"

"I said it's your turn, babe," Kris says, thumbing at Adam's cheek.

"Oh. Hmm. That last time was scuba diving, right?"

"Yep."

Adam swings his legs up onto the bench and plants his head on Kris's lap, buying some time to shake away the haze of want and make himself think.

They started doing this on their first anniversary, taking turns making up elaborate fantasies of touristy things they can do together someday. It's nothing too serious, often fantastical and over the top and silly and impossible, but it's fun to say those kinds of things to each other out loud, to plan things together, to make stuff up, and dream, and pretend together. They'd gone to Vienna, climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro, spent a week shopping in Japan, had sex on the beach on their private island in Hawaii, rode the tallest roller coaster in the world, cuddled with baby pandas, swam on the Great Barrier Reef, ate so much candy at the Hershey factory they got sick. They even got married in Vegas once - Kris brought it up a few weeks ago - and needless to say, they had to cut that discussion short to have the most earth-shattering, romantic sex they'd ever had so far. (And that was saying something.) Just thinking about that night, what Kris had said with such casual confidence, the promises they'd fiercely whispered into each other's skin as they moved together was almost enough to make Adam half-hard and his eyes prickle with tears at the same time.

He takes a deep breath and sets those memories aside, trying to think of something light and ridiculous. He's not sure he can. He looks up at Kris's face, patiently waiting; feels a soft breeze ruffle his hair; listens to the distant sound of the playing children. "Okay, this is a little different," Adam starts. Kris just looks at him, right hand in his hair, left hand cradled between both of Adam's.

"When we're, like, thirty-five," he says, "we come back here. There's our high school reunion, and it's your mom's birthday too, whatever, we make the trip. We haven't been able to visit for more than a couple days, but this time we take, like, an entire week off." Kris is looking at him with amused indulgence, and Adam just continues. "We have dinner with your family, and it's great, she's so happy to have us, and Daniel's children crawl all over their uncle Kris."

"Daniel has children?" Kris says with mock horror. "That's scary."

"Hush, I'm telling a story. So, okay, we go to the reunion - it's at the school gym, gross - and it's a great time with our friends, we haven't been that complete in a long time. We're all older but still fabulous, obviously. We'd already gone out to dinner and drinks the night before, so we just shoot the shit and kinda separate early 'cause some of them have flights to catch or whatever. They have kids, too, and we give gifts to pass on to our godchildren. We're their favorites, duh, we give _awesome_ presents."

"Yes, because I'm smart and let you be in charge of present shopping, right? And you just sign them 'from uncle Adam and uncle Kris' because you love me and you want the kids to love me too," Kris says, unbelievably fond. It makes his breath catch in his chest, how easy it is to talk about their future, that it's a foregone conclusion that they're going to spend their lives together. It's overwhelming, and it gets to them both - sex post-fantasy is always so much more intense, and Kris had even cried, once, after he'd described a trip to the Grand Canyon, of all places.

It's intense, now, and Adam screws his eyes shut, tugs Kris's head down for a fierce, heated kiss. "Yes, yeah, exactly," he gasps when they part, and Kris presses their foreheads together, both hands cradling Adam's head. Adam clears his throat and continues, whispering, "we sneak onto school grounds. The layout is different, we can't find our lockers so we go to the field. It's different too, but the bleachers are still there. Different, and bigger, but it's there. We find the sixth row and we make out. We make out like we're sixteen again, and it's _amazing_."

Kris lets out a choked laugh and drops small, quick kisses all over Adam's face - forehead, cheek, nose, eyelids - and Adam smiles, saying "I almost blow you right there, but you don't want to get arrested so we somehow get back to our car and drive to Green Alley and baby, I fuck you in the backseat. We fuck, and it's amazing, it's always so fucking amazing with you --"

Adam's interrupted again, Kris's lips hot and desperate on his, tongue probing deep, and the angle's off, Adam needs - Adam sits up and throws his legs on Kris's lap, fingers going tight on Kris's face, everything else forgotten. This is just them, pressed as tightly as they can get, desperate, grappling for skin, basking in their shared joy and hope.

When they eventually pull apart, Adam can't speak. The words are stuck in his throat and they can't get out, held there by the wave of emotion that washes over him, huge and overwhelming. Kris sniffles and thumbs away the moisture at the corner of Adam's eyes, mouth pressed on his forehead. "We're staying at my parents' house," Kris murmurs, voice thick. "We're at the house and we can't have sex there, and it drives you _crazy_. We sleep in my old bedroom and it's so, so good to have you in there with me the whole time." Kris falters at that, and Adam laughs wetly, straining even closer.

"I want that so bad," Adam whispers fiercely.

"It's all gonna happen, babe. We spend the next day with your mom, and your dad's there too, they ask so many questions. And then - then we go to the lake."

Adam laughs lightly, in complete disbelief at Kris's existence, at the two of them like this. How is any of this real?

"It's still there, still clean," Kris continues. "The dock's all rebuilt and everything. I let you believe that you convinced me to go skinny dipping, but I was going to say yes anyway."

"You're a brat."

Kris just grins at him, cheeky. Adam loves him beyond belief. "When it gets too cold and we're tired and sex-sleepy, we get a blanket and sit in our spot. You're all wrapped around me because you don't want me to freeze my butt off. We just sit and remember everything we've ever done there together since we were kids."

"Mmm. That one time Alli thought there was a snake in the water."

"When Tommy lost his trunks after he cannonballed."

"Ryland's hotdogs."

"Lee and Scarlett in the bushes."

"Falling asleep in the water."

"My first underwater handjob," Kris says wryly. "I still can't believe I let you do that."

Adam laughs. "Oh come on, baby, you didn't _let me_ anything. You wanted it bad."

"I always want it bad, but usually we _wait_."

"You could've gotten away. Lemme tell you, it was the surprise of my life when you didn't freak out and say no."

"Yeah well, you make me do crazy things, Lambert."

"Ditto," Adam says, pressing his smile into the curve of Kris's cheek, so absurdly happy. "So. We did the bleachers. Green Alley. The lake. What else do we do?"

Kris looks at him speculatively, eyes soft. His hand is still cupping Adam's cheek, thumb moving back and forth. "We take a walk. Come back here. And remember how we used to be such kids," he smiles and leans in, murmuring, "so stupidly in love," before kissing him again, soft and achingly sweet. Adam loves him so much in this moment, loves him so much his heart could burst with it, so much he doesn't understand how he can feel so much he can't contain it, so much that he thinks they might be _glowing_ , their shared, incandescent joy showing on their skin, in the air around them.

This is _theirs_ \- the future, each other, all of it. They get to have this, for as long as they want. Adam's struck dumb by the enormity of it all.

"We'll come back here every time we come back home. This is our place out of all the places, baby." Adam can't stop touching him, can't stop pulling him closer, can't stop trying to fuse their skin, can't help but think he won't be able to let Kris out of his reach ever again, not after this.

\---

They eventually make their way back to Adam's house, but not before Adam pulls Kris into the most secluded corner of the park and kisses him fiercely, basically dry humping him up against a tall, wide oak. They stop only when their lips are obscenely swollen, standing there and holding each other until they calm down enough to walk.

After they finish a quick snack that they rummage from the fridge, they settle back at the kitchen table. Adam works more quickly and efficiently than he had all morning, the clacking sounds of Kris typing away at his laptop a comforting kind of white noise, Kris's knee tucked under his a point of heat that centers him somehow.

They finish their work a couple hours after dinner. They walk upstairs, their footsteps echoing in the empty, silent house. They undress each other slowly, reverently; Adam spreads Kris out on the bed and lingers over him, worshipful. Kris rocks himself on Adam's fingers when two are pushed into him at once, keening, breaths harsh in the quiet room. Adam watches the blush spread down his chest, loving him like this completely, twisting his fingers further in, following the sinuous movements of Kris's body underneath him, gorgeous, _his_.

"Adam, I need - baby, I need you in me --" Kris starts moaning helplessly and Adam groans into his hip, willing himself to remember all of this, to burn this moment, this entire day, his beautiful boy in his brain for all time.

He rolls the condom on with shaking fingers, then lines himself up and presses in, mouth dropping open at the tight, welcoming heat. He has to pause when he's fully sheathed in, savoring the moment, slowing everything down to make it last. Kris cranes his neck and kisses him, tongue hot and wild in Adam's mouth, harsh pants against his cheek, legs tight around his waist. Their eyes are wide open, gazes locked as Adam pulls out then thrusts in and _up_ , hips circling slow and torturous and so achingly good. Their mouths meet in a wet, sloppy kiss, muffling Kris's half-shout when Adam shifts on his knees and hits a new angle. It's too much, all the time, more than a year later and all of Adam's senses are overwhelmed just like they were the very first time; the hot, slick slide, the dirty sound of slapping skin, Kris surrounding him, gorgeous and breathtaking and an absolute perfect fit.

Kris's arms are wrapped tight around Adam's shoulders, mouth sucking kisses on Adam's chin and neck and mouth, not letting up. This is going to hurt, tomorrow, but for now Adam can't think of doing this any other way, pressed as close as possible, thrusting deep and slow, so slow, forehead pressed against Kris's like they're trying to sink into each other's skin.

"All yours," Kris whispers, tipping his head back and rocking his hips. "Love you - so much --"

Adam smiles down at him, smirking a little when he gasps. "I love you more than anything," he says, moving faster now, letting himself go, groaning when Kris's nails scratch down his side and up his arms.

Kris starts writhing on the bed, hips coming off the mattress when Adam jacks his cock tight and slow. It's only a few more strokes, and he's gone - Adam kisses him through his orgasm, pushing into him in quick, hard thrusts until he follows a few seconds after, coming with a sob, hands clenched on the bedspread. He barely has the presence of mind to pull off the condom and drop it in the trash before collapsing on his back and pulling Kris half on top of him. Distantly, he feels Kris wipe him off with a damp washcloth, fingers slow and tender, soft kisses pressed down the line of his shoulder, before Kris curls into him with no space left between them.

\---

The next time Adam opens his eyes, Kris is smiling at him, chin perched on his chest. Adam runs his hand down his back, sighing as Kris mouths at his collarbone. "You watching me sleep?" he slurs, brain not quite back online.

"Mmm."

"That's creepy."

Kris bites down, hard, making Adam gasp. "You passed out on me," Kris murmurs as he pulls himself upward, looming over Adam, rubbing their noses together, playful. "I'm just that good, aren't I?"

Adam huffs a laugh and clumsily nips at Kris's bottom lip. "I thought I'd trained you out of your gloating."

"No, not really." Their lips touch as they talk, and God, all Adam wants is for this to last forever.

"Sometimes I wonder why I keep you around."

Kris just laughs before nuzzling his cheek. "Sorry, babe. You're stuck with me."

Adam blindly presses a kiss on Kris's hair, feeling himself starting to fall back under. "Yeah, I thought so."


End file.
